"Family Matters" Pt 1 of 3 (K/S)
Jul. 19th, 2005 04:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseI've always had a thing for Cadet Kirk stories. This isn't quite that far back; Kirk's already graduated. But this was my own venture into that time of his life...and Spock's too.
Originally published in Beyond Dreams 5, July 2002, by Beyond Dreams Press
FAMILY MATTERS
by Elise Madrid
The day was frosty and the sky overcast as Spock pulled his cloak tighter and hurried as well as he could toward the front doors of the medical building. His slow progress across the green-belt that separated the hospital from his hotel was giving the chill time enough to insinuate itself uncomfortably into his bones. At first glance the hotel had seemed ideal, within easy walking distance of the medical center and close to the spaceport. But the hotel was sadly lacking in the most basic of amenities, and the noise from the spaceport had made sleep difficult.
With a last burst of speed he made it to the doors, luxuriating in the sudden warmth. He limped over to the front desk and placed his orders in front of the young woman sitting there.
"May I help you?" the receptionist asked. She was pretty, Spock noticed. But her best feature was the luxurious growth of long, dark hair that framed her face.
"I was ordered to begin treatment here during the six weeks of my leave." He hesitated. "I do not know the doctor's name."
"That's okay." The woman smiled. "Usually it's whoever's available, anyway. Why don't you have a seat over there?" She pointed to the chairs lining the wall. "I'll call you when it's time."
Spock nodded and walked away, taking the seat closest to the desk. He hoped the wait would not be long. Several reports waited completion in his hotel room. Though Doctor Boyce had insisted on him taking sick-leave, an order that had been soundly seconded by the captain, Spock felt uncomfortable with the idea of "doing nothing."
He sighed, reviewing his limited options. How was he going to fill six weeks? The Vega Colony was known galaxy-wide for its medical facilities, but that did him little good. Unless he were employed there, the chance of being able to participate in any of their research projects was highly unlikely. He knew no one here, and the work he had brought would last only a matter of days. But Pike had been adamant. He was to rest, let his leg finally heal from the injuries received on Rigel Seven.
"The doctor will see you now, Lieutenant." The woman rose from behind the counter, her pregnancy now obvious, and led Spock to a small cubicle situated at the end of a long hall. She pulled out a light blue piece of material and handed it to him. "Disrobe and put this on, the opening to the front."
"It is only my ankle that is in need of attention. Why must I undress?" Spock nervously fingered what turned out to be a smock, one of the many indignities he was familiar with from the sickbay on the Enterprise.
"The information sent by your doctor calls for a complete medical evaluation," she noted. "It's not that bad, you know."
Another fallacy perpetuated by the medical establishment. "Very well." He stared at the woman until with a chuckle she left the room, closing the door behind her. Spock pulled the dark gray tunic he wore over his head. It was surely going to be an unpleasant stay.
§§§§
Two hours later, Spock watched the receptionist as she clumsily balanced her briefcase against the aircar and frantically searched her purse. Standing under the overhang outside the doors of the building, he wondered if perhaps she was experiencing some difficulty. When the first drops of the gathering storm began to fall, he sprinted over as best as his injured ankle would allow.
"May I be of assistance?" He had to raise his voice almost to a shout. The rain was gathering momentum, and the wind added to their discomfort.
"I can't find the controls to the door." Her hair was being blown about, interfering with her search, and the woman finally stopped digging through her purse. With a disgusted frown, she raised her briefcase over her head, trying unsuccessfully to keep her head dry.
Moving her gently out of the way, Spock began experimenting with the controls on the door. He had found that only so many combinations were used to lock these contrivances, and after only a few tries the aircar's lights flickered on and off as the locks disengaged. He opened the door and the woman lowered herself in, her advanced condition making it difficult.
"Aren't you getting in?" she asked.
Spock had started back to the building, and turned at her inquiry. "There is no need. I will wait out the storm beneath the overhang."
"Don't be ridiculous. This could go on for hours. Please." She gave an entreating look with her appeal. "I'd feel so much better if you would. It's so dreary, and I hate driving alone in weather like this."
Spock hesitated for a moment. It was getting colder. With a shiver he nodded his head, went around to the other side and got in. The welcoming warmth enveloped him as doors and windows were closed tight.
"Lieutenant Spock, right?" The woman awkwardly turned in her seat to face him and extended her hand. "Aurelan Kirk."
With only a second thought he took her hand, but held it only a moment. "Miss Kirk."
"Mrs. My husband, Sam, is a research biologist at the university here. But Aurelan's fine." She started the aircar and with practiced ease slowly brought it up and around to start down the road that led away from the city.
"We live on a few acres just outside of town. It reminded my husband of his home on Earth so much, we just couldn't pass it up. I hope you don't mind the inconvenience too much, Lieutenant. But I meant it when I said I don't like to travel alone during a storm."
"It is not a problem. But I am concerned as to how I will reach my hotel room."
"I'm sure Sam will be more than happy to take you once the storm passes. Until then, you'll have someone to visit with."
"It is just the two of you?"
"Oh, no. We have a four year old son, Michael. And of course, Jim."
"Jim?"
"My brother-in-law. He's staying with us until his posting comes in. He's in Starfleet, too, just like you. In fact, he just graduated from the Academy. Top of his class," Aurelan said with a flash of pride.
"Indeed." Spock didn't know what else to say, so he turned and gazed out the window. When he joined the Enterprise, he had made the decision to finally accept that part of himself inherited from his mother. So far, his success had been sporadic. There was so much to learn, so many ways to react to a given situation. He often wished that he had someone, a teacher, to lead him through the maze of emotional response. His captain had tried, but Spock was reluctant to take such advantage of Pike's good nature.
The rest of the trip was made in silence. Mrs. Kirk's, Aurelan's, he reminded himself, attention was on the road, her knuckles white against the steering wheel. The rain was coming down harder, so they could barely see ahead. Trees heavy with rain began to slowly dominate the landscape as they left more and more of the city proper behind. After thirty-seven point six minutes, she turned onto a side road as a large white house appeared out of the deluge. Creeping as close as she could, she brought them to a halt several yards from the porch stairs alongside a stand of trees. The cessation of the engine only amplified the din of the rain.
"Do you think we should try it?" she asked hesitantly.
Spock surveyed the space between the 'car and the beginning of the walkway. The water was already beginning to puddle, and what had been a sheltered area of dirt was now a muddy expanse. "I think not." He peered out the window, trying to make out any movement from the house.
"I know they're here. Sam wasn't going to go in today." She laughed. "He thought he and Jim might get in some hiking...oh, my god!"
Coming through the rain at a dead run, two totally soaked figures raced past the aircar, ignoring it and the passengers inside.
"Is that your husband and brother-in-law?" The two drenched men stood on the porch, throwing off their soaking clothes while laughter hindered their progress. When the smaller of the two began to remove his underwear, Aurelan laid on the horn.
Spock pressed his lips together in an attempt to keep from smiling. Even through the rain, the sheer masculine beauty of the younger man shouted out to him. His body was compact and muscular but gracefully proportioned, the wide shoulders narrowing down to slim hips. Dark gold hair lay plastered against his brow as a slow creep of color suffused his face.
Aurelan laughed and opened the window an inch. "Can one of you go get us an umbrella? And while you're at it, Jim, you might get decent. We've got company."
For Spock, it seemed the day got grayer as the younger Kirk grimaced and entered the house. The man Spock assumed was Sam Kirk walked out into the rain, wearing only a pair of khakis and his dignity.
"Who you've got in there, hon?" He leaned over and his eyes traveled past his wife to the stranger in the passenger seat. A look of surprise crossed his face as he saw the Vulcan sitting there.
"Sam, this is Lieutenant Spock. He was at the center for treatment and came to my rescue when I couldn't get the 'car opened."
"Misplaced your card again, huh?" He smiled to take the bite out of his words. "Nice to meet you, Lieutenant." Sam turned as he heard the screen door slam shut and his younger brother walked out with an umbrella and a large blanket. "Thanks, Jim."
Between the three of them, they managed to get Aurelan into the house safe and dry, though the same could not be said for the three men. Spock looked down at his mud encrusted boots. They matched his pants, spattered with mud and soaking wet to the knees. While the young woman fussed over her dripping husband, Spock studiously avoided looking at her brother-in-law. But almost against his will his gaze swung over to the young man, only to find himself caught by the largest and most compelling eyes he had ever seen on a human. Shot through with green, the hazel eyes stared back. Spock quickly looked away.
"Where's Michael?" Aurelan had shed her coat and shoes and was attempting to dry off her husband.
"He's at the Forrester's. Steve's mom came and picked him up. They should be dropping him off any time now," Sam responded from under the towel Aurelan was using on his hair.
"Jim, why don't you find something for the lieutenant to wear? His uniform is wet and muddy, and it looks like he's stuck with us for a while." Aurelan continued to rub the towel over her husband's head.
Spock's face went a shade darker as Jim Kirk came over and, taking his arm with a smile, began to lead him up the stairs. "Come on. Sam's clothes will fit you better than mine, but you can use my room to change."
Spock felt heat radiating from the contact, the hand wrapped around his wrist drawing him on. But for all his difficulty, he felt bereft when Kirk let go. Kirk had had time only to pull on a pair of old levis, and the view as they walked up the stairs was hard to ignore. The exposed skin of the young man's back glowed with health, and the strained material of the tight pants emphasized the rounded curve of a firm ass. When they reached the top of the landing they turned left to traverse a wide hall. Passing the first two doors, they stopped at the one tucked near the back.
"We're almost there." Kirk opened the door to a narrow stairwell. As he followed, Spock could see filtered light illuminating the room above.
"Here it is, home, sweet home." Kirk spread his arms, turning in a slow circle in the middle of the large expanse.
It must have been an attic at one time, but it had been transformed into a small apartment with all the amenities of a separate residence. A large bed dominated the far wall, and a desk, its top cluttered with books, rested to one side. A small utility kitchen was set off to the left, with a table and chairs for two placed under one of the dormer windows that ran along the entire room.
Spock walked over to the middle window, pillows and blankets making a nest in its alcove. Right outside, a tree opened up, its lush green dampened by the rain. "It is beautiful here."
"I thought you'd like it." Kirk quirked his head. "Though for the life of me, how I knew that...." He shook himself and started for the door. "You wait here. I'll go get those clothes. You'll stay for a while, won't you?"
Spock turned and studied the young man for a moment. "Yes, I will stay."
§§§§
Spock listened intently, often bewildered by the banter that flew across the table as the four humans talked over dinner. Such informal conversation during meals was not done in Vulcan homes, but he was enjoying the spontaneous give-and-take of his new...friends. Yes, his friends, and somehow it felt so very right to sit here with these open, giving beings, his inclusion in their lives a magical reality.
He especially enjoyed watching the young man sitting across the table from him. Jim Kirk's force of will was like no other Spock had ever met.
"Anyway," Jim continued, as he regaled the table with anecdotes of the academy, "it made me even more sure about my choice."
"You wish to command a starship?" Spock was intrigued. Though his own desires led elsewhere, he was fascinated by Kirk's drive.
"You bet. The way I've got it planned, I'll get there in twelve, fifteen years, tops."
"He will, too," Aurelan interjected. "Not too many graduate from the academy by twenty-one. I've never known anyone as tenacious as Jim."
"Lord, yes. You should have seen him as a kid. Little scrawny thing, but he'd take on whoever, or whatever got in his way. Just like Michael, right, son?" Sam ruffled the tow-headed youngster on his left.
"Ah huh. I'm going to go with Uncle Jim, fly a spaceship. He promised." The small boy looked up at the uncle he idolized.
"That's right. You and me, we're going to see the stars together. Every captain needs a right-hand man he can count on." Jim smiled at his nephew and then looked at Spock. "Aurelan says you're with the Enterprise. That'd be Chris Pike's ship, right?"
"That is correct. I joined the crew eight point three months ago."
"How did you get hurt?" Aurelan asked.
"We were attacked by the natives on Rigel Seven. During the ensuing battle, I was felled by an object that struck my ankle."
"I heard you lost some crewmembers." Jim's gaze took on an unfocused quality. "That must be really hard for a captain to deal with. Losing people you're responsible for."
"Captain Pike was deeply affected by it." Spock watched the play of emotions across the young man's face with interest. He wondered how Kirk would eventually deal with such a loss, and how it would change him.
"So, where are you staying, Lieutenant?" Sam Kirk, elbows on the table, leaned forward and looked past his young son to Spock.
"At the Cambridge Hotel, across from the medical center. I am expected to undergo several treatments in order to rectify the injury to my ankle. The hotel is conveniently located for my purposes."
"Oh, but it's so..." Aurelan gave Spock a distressed look.
"Shabby," Jim cut in.
"It is adequate for my needs."
"Oh, no. You can't stay there. Jim, make him see that he can't stay there," the young woman pleaded.
"She's right. It gets pretty noisy there, so close to the spaceport," Kirk commented, and Spock could almost see the thoughts as they formed. "Stay here. There's plenty of room, and you can tell me all about life aboard the Enterprise."
"I could not impose in such a way." Spock fought the suggestion. There was something going on, in himself, something he didn't understand. All he knew was that it somehow had to do with the force of nature known as Jim Kirk.
"I insist. And you can't upset a pregnant woman, it's not good for her." Aurelan smiled and, reaching out, laid her hand on Spock's sleeve. "Please?"
He hesitated, but ultimately was unable to resist Aurelan's sincere appeal, or the sweet expectancy he felt every time he looked at Kirk. "Very well. But only as long as I am allowed to repay you in some way."
Sam laughed. "You shouldn't have said that. Aurelan has lots of projects she's just dying to have help with, don't you sweetie?" He took the woman's hand and Spock instinctively turned away. It reminded him too much of the ritual between his own mother and father. The bittersweet memory brought home once again all he had lost. It occurred to him that his estrangement from his own family could very well have influenced his decision to accept the Kirks' hospitality.
"Don't scare him off, Sam, or I'll have you doing them." She turned to Kirk. "He can bunk with you, can't he? I'll have Sam bring out the roll-away. There's plenty of room."
"Sure. No problem." The young man pushed away from the table, running his hands over his stomach. "That was great, Aurelan. I'm going to have to run twice as far to burn it off." He stood up. "Come on, Spock. The rain's slowed down enough. We can go get your things from the hotel room."
§§§§
The rain had stopped, but the temperature was beginning to fall rapidly by the time they got to the hotel room. Kirk stood at the window, watching the small ships land and take off while Spock gathered his things.
"I hope I get a posting to one of the bigger ships." Kirk turned to Spock. "You never know, maybe I'll even get on the Enterprise."
"That is doubtful. We are not in need of replacements at this time." Spock folded the last of his clothes into his valise, and closed it.
"Gee, thanks, Spock. You really know how to burst a guy's bubble."
The Vulcan's eyebrows shot up. "I did not mean to cause distress. I was merely stating fact."
Kirk grabbed the smaller of Spock's suitcases. "That's okay. But don't you think you'd enjoy serving with me?"
As they headed out, Spock pondered the question. Undoubtedly, he would, perhaps too much so. Getting into the 'car, he studied the young human as Kirk started the engine and began the drive back home. What would it be like, having Kirk on the ship?
Kirk looked over, catching the Vulcan's stare. "What are you thinking?"
"I am considering your question."
"And?"
"And I believe we would both gain much from such an association."
Kirk shook his head. "You make it sound so clinical."
"I am sorry. Such close interaction with humans is new to me. Until recently, I have always followed the Vulcan way. To allow emotion to sway my responses to any given situation.... It is difficult."
"So, am I an experiment? To see if you can put up with a human friend?"
Spock looked away, locking his hands together in his lap. "You are mocking me."
Kirk put his hand over Spock's clenched ones, squeezing for a moment before pulling away. "No, I'm not. I've had some dealings with Vulcans before. I know you see things differently, especially when it comes to companions. A teacher of mine made that pretty clear."
"Then you are not repulsed by my ignorance?"
"Of course not. Listen, we've got weeks and weeks to get to know each other if you want. You're going to be here for six you said, and if you think Aurelan's going to let you get away before then, think again. That woman loves to collect strays. I'll be here at least that long. Starfleet gave me three months' leave before my first ship assignment. Maybe by the end of that time we really will be friends."
"I would find great pleasure in that." Kirk's smile warmed him the rest of the way back.
§§§§
"There are plenty of extra blankets, so if these aren't enough let me know." Aurelan straightened up, pushing hard against her lower back before moving around to finish making up the bed that had been added to Kirk's room.
"You should have waited for us to get back, Aurelan. I'm surprised Sam isn't up here giving you hell." Kirk gently steered his sister-in-law to the foot of the bed and sat her down against the extra pillows before grabbing one of the chairs and straddling it backwards.
Spock looked over from the dresser where he was putting his clothes away. "Indeed. You should not be doing such strenuous work in your advanced condition."
Her light laugh filtered through the room. "Oh, Sam brought the bed up. But he got called in to work for one thing or the other. Besides, I'm pregnant, not an invalid. I know what I can and can't do."
"Yeah, but you look like you're ready to pop." Kirk ducked and laughed when a pillow came sailing past him. "Sam would kill me if I let anything happen to you."
"Nothing's going to happen to me. I'm going to live forever, didn't you know that?" She suddenly became serious. "It's you I'm going to have to worry about. Going all over the galaxy, running into who knows what."
Kirk shrugged. "You can't see anything new staying at home. And just think of all the stories Uncle Jim can tell his nephews, or nieces, when he comes to visit."
Spock walked over and took the other chair at the small table. "Ship's duty is inherently dangerous. But there is much to learn out among the stars. I could not imagine a different life for myself. I believe, in this, Jim and I are much alike."
"Just stay safe, okay?" Aurelan slowly levered herself up. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I'm for bed. Goodnight, Jim, Spock. I'll see you in the morning." The door closed quietly behind her.
"She is a good person," Spock stated.
"The best. I remember the first time Sam brought her home to meet my mom. He was in his senior year at college and Mom was so afraid that his getting serious with her would destroy his chances of getting all the way through his schooling. Turns out, he made it through faster. Aurelan worked for years, taking care of everything until he finished. They didn't have Michael until after Sam got his first decent paying job."
"But she continues to work, does she not?"
"You mean the medical center?" Kirk shook his head. "That's only part time, and only while Michael's in school. I think it keeps her from getting lonely. They're pretty isolated out here. In fact, she's only got the rest of this month. She really is just about ready to have that kid."
"I have never spent time around children. They are something of an enigma to me."
"Me, too. Except for Michael, of course. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with him while I was still at the academy and Sam's job was on Earth. Now..."
"You will miss him?"
"Yeah, isn't that a kick? Sam and I were always close, but Michael...I don't know. We're...connected. He's got me wrapped around his little finger."
"It is said that one's shipmates become one's family."
"Have they for you?"
Spock hesitated. "No, they have not. I have tried to respond in an appropriate way." His success had been only a little better than on Vulcan.
"Your emotional responses?"
"Yes."
Kirk grabbed Spock's shoulder. "You're doing fine."
"I am pleased you think so." Spock almost smiled.
Kirk seemed to be about to say something, but got up instead and headed for the small bathroom set toward the back of the room. "I'll take a shower first. It'll help heat it up for you."
Spock sat quietly, listening to the soft whistling as Kirk showered. When the human reappeared, billows of steam followed him out of the bathroom.
"Your turn." Kirk walked over to the bed and shed his robe, hanging it over the footboard. He turned and smiled at Spock and, with a quiet "goodnight," slid his nude body into the large bed.
Later, after his own shower, and tucked securely under several layers of blankets, Spock wondered at his reaction to the glimpse of flesh and young manhood. And Kirk's seemingly innocent display of it.
§§§§
"Ouch! Shit!"
The vehement whisper broke through Spock's slumber. The room was still dark, the rising sun just beginning to cast a small glow over the nearby mountains. He sat up and turned to see Kirk balanced on one foot, tenderly rubbing the other, his work boots clutched in his free hand. "Have you injured yourself?"
Kirk looked up, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you." He put his foot down and came over to sit at the foot of Spock's bed. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yes. Although I am at a loss as to why I slept so late. On board, it is my habit to be up by four hundred hours."
"You probably needed the sleep. I can't imagine you slept very well at the hotel," Kirk responded while he worked at getting his boots on.
"Perhaps. But normally, Vulcans do not need as much sleep as humans." He eyed the young man, noticing the work clothes he wore. "Do you have plans?"
"Yeah. I've been laying in some shelves in the basement. Everyone else is gone most of the day, so I've been trying to stay busy. Want to help? I could use it. Oh, I forgot about your ankle."
"As long as I do not apply weight to it for an extended period of time, it should be all right." He pushed the covers off and got up. Unlike Kirk, he had slept in nightwear. He walked over to the highboy and pulled out a tunic and pants. "Will this be adequate?"
Kirk gave him a doubtful look. "I don't think so. You need something you won't mind getting torn. Just wear Sam's clothes again. They're old anyway. Later we can either go through his closet and borrow some for a while, or pick you up a few things in town." He finished tying his boots and got up. "I'll go see what he has. When you're ready, meet me downstairs. Aurelan's got breakfast going."
"Very well." Grabbing the clothes he had discarded the night before, Spock laid them out on the bed and proceeded to undress. As he drew off his pajama top, he realized that Kirk was still standing at the doorway, watching him. A Vulcan eyebrow went up in question.
"I'll be downstairs," was Kirk's only response as he left the room.
§§§§
The next few days were spent working in the basement, the hours flying by in the company of the compelling human. Even though only given the work that could be done from a sitting position to keep him off his injured ankle, Spock found the manual labor satisfying, especially since his mind was completely focused on Kirk. He had never known anyone like him. Easy to laughter, the human had a deep and often serious side that Spock was delighted to discover as they talked of everything and nothing. It was during one of these discussions that he learned of a shared addiction.
"You play chess?" Kirk was putting away the tools as Spock finished picking up the pieces of wood scattered about the room. They had made great progress in the short week Spock had come to think of as the most satisfying and deeply rewarding of his life.
"Yes. My mother taught me when I was a small child."
"Your mother? How did she know about chess?" Kirk turned with a puzzled expression.
"She is human." Spock straightened from his task and waited for the usual reaction of distain.
"Really? No wonder you're not like other Vulcans."
"You stated that you have had previous contact with Vulcans. I was not aware that my differences were so obvious," Spock stiffly said.
"Hey, don't get mad. I only meant that you're a lot more open than the few I've known. My calculus instructor at the academy was Vulcan. I met his roommate a couple of times when he'd pick him up after class."
"Roommate?" Curiosity piqued, he forgot his hurt.
"You know what I mean. For all their reticence, it was obvious they were close, connected. I have to admit to being kind of jealous of their relationship. And there were a couple of others." Kirk walked over, concern written clearly on his face. "I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention."
Spock looked down. "No, it is I who should express regret. I assumed offense when there was none."
"Friends, then?" Kirk lowered his head, looked up into Spock's eyes and smiled.
There was no way he could have resisted the human. He raised his head and smiled back. "Yes, friends."
Great." Kirk turned toward the door, acting as if the misunderstanding had never taken place. "There's a chess set in the front room. Let's go play a game."
Spock followed his friend up the stairs and into the front room. Sam and Aurelan were there, sitting quietly before the fire reading.
"What are you two up to?" Sam looked up as they entered, putting down his paper.
Kirk walked to a large cabinet off to the side and started going through the drawers that encompassed the bottom half. "We're going to play chess, if I can find the board."
Aurelan closed her book, her place kept with an inserted finger. "It's in the bottom drawer, Jim, where you left it last time."
"Thanks." Kirk pulled out a dark green box. He brought it over to a small round table placed in front of the windows. He sat down and started setting up the board.
Spock took the seat across from him, studying the chess pieces as Kirk removed them from the felt-lined box. He picked up his king. "Gaius Julius Caesar."
"Yeah, it was my dad's. He was really into ancient Earth history. My mom gave it to Sam when he turned twenty-one. All the pieces represent someone, or something, from that time.
Spock replaced the figure. "Do you wish to play white?"
Sam laughed. "I don't think you know what you're getting into, Spock. I wouldn't give him the advantage if I were you."
"I am considered quite good at the game," Spock replied, slightly ruffled.
"I've heard that before. In fact, I was the one who said it." Sam looked over at his brother. "Go easy on him, Jim."
The game began, and all too soon Spock had reason to rethink his initial confidence. Kirk had an uncanny knack for making moves that were not planned, or seemed to not be, yet ended up putting Spock's pieces in jeopardy. "You play illogically."
"I play to win. Come on, Spock. You're making this way too easy," the human teased.
By the end of the third game, two of which Spock lost, his admiration of his friend's mind had outstripped his appreciation for his looks. Watching the human, Spock wondered what it would be like to join with such a mind.
§§§§
The days passed swiftly. Whenever Spock had an appointment he and Kirk would hitch a ride into town with Sam, his young friend using it as an excuse to get away from their chores for the day. But usually during the week they would be hard at it, leaving off their task with just enough time to shower and change before Aurelan returned home, Michael in tow. The young boy, deprived of his uncle's company while at school, spent most evenings as a constant fixture at Kirk's side. Even Sam's appearance a few hours later could not budge him. Spock had never been in contact with children, and he found the experience somewhat disquieting. It was like discovering a new lifeform, and the Vulcan proceeded to treat the child as such.
The little boy asked questions incessantly, a state that Kirk explained to him was totally normal for a child of Michael's age. Spock wasn't so sure, but he nevertheless did his best to answer the seemingly endless queries. If nothing else, it would teach him patience.
It seemed the entire family was going out of their way to make him feel welcome, at home. Two weeks into his stay, it was decided that included the obligatory old-fashioned barbeque.
Aurelan threw herself into the plans, stating that a party would have the side benefit of introducing Spock to all their friends. It made him feel as one with the entire family, filling the emptiness that had been a part of him since leaving Vulcan. He felt at home.
§§§§
The warm glow from the rising sun was just lighting the room when Spock sensed an essence focused intensely on him. He rolled over and was met by two large hazel eyes appraising him from the bed across the room.
"Good morning," Spock mouthed, slightly bemused by the situation.
The little boy, his back pressed up against his sleeping uncle, continued to stare back. Finally, he crept out of the bed and came over to Spock. He sat at the foot of the bed, propping his chin in his hands, his elbows firmly planted on crossed legs.
"Do you wish to ask me something?" Spock would have been surprised if he didn't.
Michael glanced over to his uncle and then back to Spock. "Are you going to go with Uncle Jim?"
"Go? Where?"
"On his ship."
"I do not believe so. Why do you ask?" Spock queried, noticing the boy's obvious relief.
"He promised to take me with him when he gets his ship. If you go with him, he might not want me."
Spock sat up, giving the small boy his total attention. "You wish very much to be with him, do you not?"
"Ah huh. I'm going to be his..." Michael cocked his head, as if searching for the words.
"First officer?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "his first officer. We're going to go everywhere together. He said we would. But Mom says I can't go yet. I might get hurt." A frown replaced the smile. "But what if Uncle Jim gets hurt?"
"It will be a few years before you will be able to join him. You must first finish school. Perhaps, if it is allowed, I will safeguard him until then. Would that not help?"
The little boy with serious intent thought about it for several seconds before answering. "Okay. But only until I get there."
A rustling from the other bed drew their attention. Kirk was stretching, coming awake. He looked over and blinked in surprise. "What are you two up to?"
"Spock is going to take care of you until Mom lets me go with you." Michael got up and returned to his uncle's bed. He grabbed Kirk's arm, trying to haul him up. "Come on, the barbeque's today."
Kirk pulled the blankets up over his lap as he sat up. "Okay, okay. Give me a minute." He gave Spock a strange look. "What's this about you taking care of me?"
Color suffused Spock's face. "The child was concerned about your welfare until such time as he can accompany you as your first officer. I volunteered my services to that end."
"Really?" Kirk pulled his nephew onto the bed, settling him next to him. "You don't mind if Spock goes with me?"
"No, it's okay. He can take care of you. He's your friend, isn't he, Uncle Jim?"
Kirk looked over, a smile on his face as he gazed at Spock. "Yeah, he's my friend." He continued to stare, finally forcing Spock to look away.
"Perhaps we should get up and prepare for today." Spock, his controls firmly in place, looked back at his friend.
"You're right. Come on, Michael. Time's a-wasting." He picked up the small boy and stood him on the floor, then turned him and with a gentle swat sent him on his way.
"Is it not too cold to be planning outdoor activities?" Spock asked as they dressed. While he layered himself in his clothes, adding the sweater bought during their last visit to town, Kirk threw on levis and a t-shirt.
"Heck, no." Kirk sat to tie his laces. "Summer's on its way. The storm last week was winter's last hurrah."
"There will be many people here, will there not?"
"Sure. Aurelan's invited most of their neighbors. One of them's got a daughter she's just dying for me to meet." Kirk grimaced. "I wish she'd cut it out."
"You do not wish to meet the young lady?"
"Not really. Aurelan means well, but she usually pick these girls that, I don't know, aren't very...exciting. I think she's trying to find me a wife."
"You do not wish to marry?" Spock wondered if perhaps Kirk's desires mirrored his own.
"Maybe some day. But I'm too young for that right now, and I've got a career I'm just starting." He got up and grabbing a light jacket, motioned Spock out of the room. "You know what I mean, don't you?"
"I believe so. You wish to delay marriage until such a time as you feel capable of giving yourself fully to one person."
"That's it exactly! How did you know that?"
Spock didn't answer as they were met by Sam on their way to breakfast. It wasn't until later, as they dragged out the lawn furniture for the expected guests, that they picked up the conversation.
"I too have been...pressured to conform to an acceptable path. For a Vulcan, to be alone is considered outside the bounds of the norm."
They sat at one of the picnic tables for a break. Kirk leaned back, propping his elbows on the surface behind him. "It's not that I want to be alone, exactly. I just don't want to end up with the wrong person."
"Would you not know before making a commitment whether the person was correct for you?" Spock wished he had that option. He turned to face his friend, tucking one leg against his body.
"I don't think it's that easy. Besides, I'm not sure what kind of person would be the right kind. I've always known that I was different, especially since...well, for a long time now." Kirk looked up, seemingly intent on the clouds overhead. "I don't know if the person exists who would be right for me."
"What is it you seek?" Spock's words were almost a whisper.
Kirk didn't answer at first and Spock had begun to believe he wasn't going to when the human finally spoke. "Someone who knows me as well as I know myself, and stays anyway. Someone who can stand at my side, who I can lean on when I need the added strength, and who trusts me enough to lean on me." He turned to Spock with a derisive smile. "I don't ask for much, do I?"
"You deserve that, and much more." Spock was drawn into the large hazel eyes, the human's pull increasing with each passing second. He felt his body lean forward, closing the gap between them.
"There you two are." Sam walked out of the house, banging the screen door behind him.
Kirk blinked and pulled back. He got up, casting a troubled look at Spock as he went to meet his brother. "What's up?"
Spock remained seated as the two brothers started a fire in the nearby firepit. The two were much alike, both open and alive. Yet somehow, Spock could sense a darkness in Kirk that was not present in his older brother, as if his friend had lost a part of himself somewhere along the way. It bothered him inordinately, the idea that something could have hurt Kirk so badly.
While Spock pondered this, Michael and Aurelan walked out of the house. The little boy made his way over to his father and uncle, insisting on helping, while Aurelan came over to sit next to Spock.
They watched the three finish preparing the barbeque pit, until Aurelan finally broke the silence. "I'm so glad Jim was able to stay with us for awhile. It really does him good to be around his brother."
"And Michael?" Spock asked, the question rhetorical.
She smiled, "You've noticed, huh? It's really strange. I don't think Jim wants kids of his own, but he sure is attached to his nephew. It's almost as if..." She trailed off.
"Almost as if?"
She tilted her head in concentration, studying her son and brother-in-law. "As if he sees himself in Michael, the way he was before."
Spock frowned, "Before what?"
Aurelan shook herself and looked away. "It's nothing." She stood and started toward the house. "I'd better finish preparing the food."
When their company began to arrive, Spock found himself sitting alone, watching the humans' interaction with interest. He had seated himself at a table not far from the house, though outside the general commotion. Michael spent most of the day playing with his small friends, but came over to ask Spock if he wanted to play tag. He declined. He felt no desire to put himself forward, finding pleasure instead in watching Kirk talk and laugh with the others. But as time went by, he noticed the human stealing glances at him. Finally, Kirk disengaged himself from the others and walked over to him.
"What's the matter? Aren't you having a good time?"
"I am having an excellent time. I find human interaction fascinating." He looked up at his friend. The temperature had remained balmy just as Kirk had predicted, and the human had abandoned his jacket. The thin material of the t-shirt only accentuated Kirk's body.
Kirk laughed and sat down next to him. "You're studying us, aren't you?"
Spock blushed. "If I have given offense...."
Laying his hand on Spock arm, Kirk shook his head, "It's all right, Spock. So, what do you think so far?"
"It is an interesting cultural ritual. You come together over food to tighten the bonds created by a shared environment, and at the same time create new ones in the desire to maintain the species."
With a laugh, Kirk threw his arm around Spock, hugging him. "Only you would see an innocent picnic as a way for humans to find someone to have sex with."
"Is this not the case?" Spock turned and lifted an eyebrow, his joy at the physical contact almost unbearable.
"Probably. Just don't let Aurelan hear you say that. Speak of the devil."
Spock followed Kirk's gaze and saw Aurelan walking toward them with a young woman in tow.
"Jim, I'd like you to meet Laura. She lives a few miles up the road." Aurelan turned to the girl. "Laura, this is my brother-in-law, Jim, and our friend, Spock. They're both staying with us for a while."
The girl gave Spock a cursory look before fastening on Kirk. After that, Spock did not see his friend for most of the afternoon, Kirk's attention taken by the young girl on his arm. He had resigned himself to an evening alone, surprised at the intensity of his distress. But as the party wound down and he entered the house and started up the stairs, he heard his name yelled out.
"Spock, wait up." Kirk came running up the porch stairs, bounding into the house and next to his friend's side. "Did you think I'd run out on my Vulcan companion?"
Spock almost stumbled, stunned by Kirk's words.
Together, they made their way to the room upstairs.
§§§§
For Spock, Kirk's action spoke of a choice made, and he reveled in the thought that he was Kirk's chosen companion. If the glances thrown his way by the human were sometimes shaded by uneasiness, he ignored the implications. Were they not now t'hy'la?
With their work in the basement done, they began to spend a large portion of each day in the loft, working on whatever new project Aurelan would round up for them. In the closed environment of the isolated room, Spock could visualize how it would be to work with Kirk if they were assigned to the same ship. Kirk was in Starfleet. There had to be a way to guide their careers along the same path. For the first time in his life, Spock was ambivalent regarding the loss of his family's connections. For it would have been an undeniable temptation to use them to gain what he most desired...a future at Kirk's side.
In the evenings, the four adults would often find themselves ensconced around the large fireplace that dominated the front room as they talked of life and the dreams that each held close. Sam would speak of his plans, the positions he hoped would come his way, Aurelan and their children his comfort and support. Aurelan's hopes were for a large family and roots sunk deep on some idyllic planet. For Spock and Kirk, it was the stars that held their future, and both talked of discoveries and adventures to come.
This particular evening, Sam and Aurelan had turned in early. As her delivery date drew near, the two spent more and more time alone. And though he missed their company, Spock delighted in the opportunity to have Kirk even more to himself. Alone, the firelight creating a cocoon of heat and light, the two men could open up to each other in a way unthinkable with any others present. And without the distraction of work, Kirk seemed to draw ever closer to him.
"It's your move, Spock." Kirk lay on his belly, propped up on his arms as they played the chess game that was becoming a ritual.
"I am contemplating my options." Spock frowned at his friend. Kirk had once again managed to trap him into a corner, putting his king in jeopardy.
Kirk grinned wickedly. "It's mate in four, Spock. Give it up."
"The game is not yet over."
The human continued to smile at him, obviously enjoying his predicament. The fire casting flickers of light over Kirk's face only increased Spock's inability to give his total concentration to the game. As he reached to tip his king, a joyous shriek of laughter echoed down the stairs, followed by a very wet and unclothed Michael.
The little boy raced into the room and threw himself into his uncle's arms. "Don't let the monster get me, Uncle Jim!"
Kirk laughed and hugged the wiggling child, who was attempting to turn around in his arms, in anticipation of his father's appearance.
"Here he comes!" Michael yelled, and set forth another loud shriek as his father's head peeked around the wall at the foot of the stairs.
"Where's the little boy who's trying to get out of finishing his bath?" Sam growled, shuffling toward the three in an exaggerated gait.
Spock blinked. Surely Sam was not trying to frighten the child into complying? If he was, it was not working. Michael was giggling loudly, practically climbing over his uncle, who was vainly trying to keep the boy from pulling his hair.
"Get him off of me, Spock." Kirk had joined into the game, which caused Michael to hold on even tighter.
"No, he's mine." Sam's voice deepened as he stalked toward his son.
Michael's eyes were glowing as his father reached for him, and at the last second he leaped from Kirk to Spock, wrapping his legs around the Vulcan's waist. "Save me, Spock!"
Spock never would have expected the feelings that welled up in him for the small human in his arms. He held on to the boy, wanting to protect him from all harm...even the imaginary kind. "I shall allow no one to harm you." He spoke softly, too softly for any to hear, and when Michael finally disengaged himself and went willingly with his father, Spock illogically felt bereft.
"He's got to you, hasn't he?" Kirk asked, a smile of pleasure lighting his face.
"He is innocence and love in one small package. How could he not?" Spock thought of Kirk. As you must have been, my beloved friend.
"I'm glad. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't. He likes you...almost as much as I do."
Spock turned to look at his friend and saw only love reflected back. He took a deep breath to still the racing of his heart as he recognized the pull of a new-born link.
So it was with a jarring sense of falling to earth that Spock heard Kirk's announcement of his plans for the following night.
§§§§
Aurelan's strong hands kneaded the mound of dough as she cast glances at the stoic Vulcan. She had coerced him down from the loft, pleading a necessity for two extra hands. Spock had politely complied but now stood deep in thought, his hands mechanically cutting the assortment of vegetables before him.
"Spock?" She reached out, gently nudging him with her wrist.
He blinked and forced himself to respond. "Yes, Aurelan?"
"What is it? What's the matter?"
"There is nothing amiss." He looked down at the cutting board. The vegetables were cut so small they looked almost mashed. With a sigh he dropped them into the large bowl on the counter and started on a new batch.
"You miss Jim, don't you?" she asked. "He'll be back in a few hours. I think he and Gloria were only going to a movie." She made a face. "I don't understand why he even bothers."
The non sequitur caught his attention. "I do not understand."
"Oh, don't mind me." She shrugged. "It's just that I don't particularly care for Miss Gloria butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth Rivers."
Spock's eyebrows disappeared under his bangs, much to Aurelan's delight.
"Does Jim know of your feelings?" he queried.
"I guess. It's not like I've tried to hide them. The funny thing is, I thought he felt the same way. The previous time he took her out, he swore it would be the last."
"Perhaps he has reconsidered?" Spock tentatively responded.
"But why? The girl's nice enough, in a condescending sort of way. But Jim could do so much better. I just don't understand why he can't find someone worthy of him. I know it irritates him, the way I'm always introducing him to girls I know, but it's only because I love him...and because he makes such lousy choices on his own. Time after time, I've seen him pick these women... First it's one that's way too old for him, then a total nut-case, then...well, I could go on all night. I don't know, it's almost as if he goes out of his way to make sure he doesn't date anyone that he could possibly have a future with."
"A family is difficult to maintain in the profession he has chosen. He has often mentioned his own situation."
"His father's death."
"Yes. He does not wish to visit such pain on a wife and children." Spock knew the feeling well. He had no desire to marry, to leave his bondmate behind while he followed his own path. He had maintained the illogical hope that if he ignored his link to T'Pring long enough, she would just go away. It had worked so far.
"Well, I don't agree with that at all. Jim could have a perfectly satisfying relationship with someone in the service, someone who wants the same kind of life he does. And Spock, everyone dies eventually. To go through life afraid of getting close just because you or they might die someday just doesn't make any sense. This time is all we have. If I died tomorrow, not ever having had the love of my husband, my son, it would make my death even more tragic."
"It is difficult sometimes to see the logic of a certain course when it is not what you truly desire."
"Are you talking about Jim, or yourself?"
Spock put the knife down and started tearing the bread Aurelan pushed over to him into small pieces. "Both. I do not wish to betray a confidence. Jim has honored me with his trust. But I have discovered that we are much alike. We both strive for a place, a home if you will, where we can be what we were meant to be, and a companion to make the journey with. But at the same time, we both desire total freedom. I am not saying this well. Emotions are difficult for me to understand, much less explain."
"I think I understand. You're both very special men, Spock. And you're both going to need a very special partner. But running's not going to get you anywhere. Eventually you, and Jim, are going to have to face up to the fact that you can't hide from love."
"Is that what you think we are doing?"
Aurelan shrugged. "I don't know you well enough to say. But I know my brother-in-law. He's running so fast there's a real chance he's going to miss this person when she, or he, finally shows up."
"He?" Spock looked up from his task in surprise.
"Why not? Love comes in all sizes and shapes." She grimaced and wiped her hands on the kitchen towel. "My back is bothering me. Could you finish up here, Spock? I really need to lie down."
Spock replayed their conversation as he put the food away and cleaned up. Did Jim feel any of the desire that he did? And if he did, how did Spock go about finding out? Never had his lack of knowledge been so frustrating. Finishing his task, Spock turned off the light and made his way up to their room and bed.
Two hours later he heard Kirk quietly come in. By the time the human had showered and crawled into bed, Spock was contentedly asleep.
§§§§
Spock closed the door to the bedroom and headed downstairs. For once, he had risen earlier than Kirk, who was only now getting up. He could hear Aurelan in the kitchen as she prepared their breakfast. It was her last day of work, but due to a mix-up in dates the day before had been Michael's last at school. Somehow Spock and Kirk had been volunteered, and would spend the day trying to keep up with the four-year old. Aurelan had graciously offered to leave her 'car in recompense.
The little boy sat in his place at the table, his breakfast already half finished when Spock walked in. He looked up and grinned, displaying a large portion of his breakfast through the gapped-tooth smile of early childhood.
"Morning, Spock. You and Jim ready for your big day?" Aurelan teased. She turned to the table and deposited a stack of pancakes next to the hotplates of eggs and sausages.
"As ready as can be expected." He took his seat, conveniently set furthest from the nauseating smell of burnt flesh, and proceeded to pile his plate with the only thing on the table he could eat. He was becoming a connoisseur of pancakes.
"You could have waited for me." Kirk came in and took his seat next to Spock, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"I did not wish to disturb your sleep. You were up quite late." Spock kept his eyes on his breakfast.
"Stupid movie. I would have been home earlier, but Gloria insisted on stopping for a drink first." Kirk stabbed his fork into a sausage and began to load up his plate.
Aurelan walked around to her chair and sat down, timing the placing of her and Sam's breakfasts to her husband's entrance. "Since when does a girl tell you what to do?"
"What girl?" Sam asked as he took his place at the head of the table.
"Gloria." His wife brought her hand together at the side of her face, mimicking the motions of a southern belle. "Oh, Jimmy. You all have to buy me a drink, or I'll just die."
Sam's laughter was stifled by the dirty look from his brother.
"Is she not well?" Spock turned to inquire of his friend.
"If you're talking about Aurelan, the answer is no." Kirk glared at his sister-in-law. "It's not funny. She practically made a scene."
Spock knew Aurelan was confronting Kirk over his choice of companion, but her brutal honesty was disconcerting. He looked over at Michael. The little boy's eyes were big, round O's. Spock could imagine the shock he must be feeling to see his mother berate his beloved uncle that way.
"It'd serve you right if she did. You know what kind of girl she is. I thought you weren't going to go out with her anymore?"
Kirk looked at Spock, as if expecting help. Not knowing what to do, Spock could only look back helplessly. After a moment, Kirk looked away and turned to his brother.
"You really should learn to control your wife, Sam. Sometimes, she says things that-"
"Don't get me in the middle of this. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. That's my motto." Sam brought his hands up in defense, caught between his wife and brother.
"Oh, forget it. Eat your breakfast," Aurelan said in disgust.
The table was quiet after that. Spock occasionally threw a glance at Kirk or Aurelan, but they both had their gazes locked on their plates. After what seemed a very long time, Spock felt a tap on his shoulder.
"You ready to go?" Kirk was standing up, his face closed.
Spock nodded and pushed away from the table. "Thank you for breakfast, Aurelan."
The woman looked up and smiled. "Anytime, Spock. I'll see you later."
Kirk grabbed his arm and pulled Spock from the room. "Thank you for breakfast, Aurelan," he mimicked. "Some friend you turned out to be."
"I do not understand what transpired. Why is she angry with you? And you with her?"
"It's a long story. But basically, she's mad at me for going out with Gloria." Kirk sighed. "And I guess I can't blame her. I don't even know why I did. I would have had more fun spending the night with you." Kirk's face turned an appealing rose. "That didn't come out right."
Spock puzzled over the statement. "You would not have enjoyed my company?"
"Of course I would have. I meant about spending the night with you. You know."
"No, I do not know. Please explain."
Kirk looked at him as if he couldn't make up his mind if Spock was serious or not. "Us being together, through the night...in bed."
Spock's eyebrows flew up. It was the opportunity he had been looking for. "I understand. You are referring to sexual congress. I was not aware that you desired intercourse with males."
"I don't! And lower your voice, for Pete's sake." Kirk shook his head. "Do you? Like men, I mean."
"I do not know. I have never had sexual relations with one."
Kirk gave him an odd look, and then grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the front room. He sat on the couch and indicated Spock sit next to him. "Would you like to?"
Spock was about to answer honestly, when the instincts he denied having kicked in. "Why do you ask?"
Kirk looked away. "Just wondering. I've had one or two come on to me, but I've never been interested. I like women."
"I see." He didn't, but he knew he was out of his depth, floundering in unknown territory.
"Jim? Where are you guys?" Sam called from the hallway.
"In here." Kirk got up and met his brother at the door.
"We're leaving now. Michael's in the backyard. Keep an eye on him, and don't let him stay out too long."
"Sure. We're be leaving for town soon, anyway. Spock has another treatment today." Kirk stayed to the side as Aurelan entered the room on her way out.
Sam sighed and, placing his hand on his wife's back, led her out.
Kirk stood in the room for a moment and then suddenly raced to the door and threw it open, waving furiously. "I'll see you guys later!"
Spock, standing at the window, saw the smile light Aurelan's face as she waved back.
§§§§
Originally published in Beyond Dreams 5, July 2002, by Beyond Dreams Press
by Elise Madrid
The day was frosty and the sky overcast as Spock pulled his cloak tighter and hurried as well as he could toward the front doors of the medical building. His slow progress across the green-belt that separated the hospital from his hotel was giving the chill time enough to insinuate itself uncomfortably into his bones. At first glance the hotel had seemed ideal, within easy walking distance of the medical center and close to the spaceport. But the hotel was sadly lacking in the most basic of amenities, and the noise from the spaceport had made sleep difficult.
With a last burst of speed he made it to the doors, luxuriating in the sudden warmth. He limped over to the front desk and placed his orders in front of the young woman sitting there.
"May I help you?" the receptionist asked. She was pretty, Spock noticed. But her best feature was the luxurious growth of long, dark hair that framed her face.
"I was ordered to begin treatment here during the six weeks of my leave." He hesitated. "I do not know the doctor's name."
"That's okay." The woman smiled. "Usually it's whoever's available, anyway. Why don't you have a seat over there?" She pointed to the chairs lining the wall. "I'll call you when it's time."
Spock nodded and walked away, taking the seat closest to the desk. He hoped the wait would not be long. Several reports waited completion in his hotel room. Though Doctor Boyce had insisted on him taking sick-leave, an order that had been soundly seconded by the captain, Spock felt uncomfortable with the idea of "doing nothing."
He sighed, reviewing his limited options. How was he going to fill six weeks? The Vega Colony was known galaxy-wide for its medical facilities, but that did him little good. Unless he were employed there, the chance of being able to participate in any of their research projects was highly unlikely. He knew no one here, and the work he had brought would last only a matter of days. But Pike had been adamant. He was to rest, let his leg finally heal from the injuries received on Rigel Seven.
"The doctor will see you now, Lieutenant." The woman rose from behind the counter, her pregnancy now obvious, and led Spock to a small cubicle situated at the end of a long hall. She pulled out a light blue piece of material and handed it to him. "Disrobe and put this on, the opening to the front."
"It is only my ankle that is in need of attention. Why must I undress?" Spock nervously fingered what turned out to be a smock, one of the many indignities he was familiar with from the sickbay on the Enterprise.
"The information sent by your doctor calls for a complete medical evaluation," she noted. "It's not that bad, you know."
Another fallacy perpetuated by the medical establishment. "Very well." He stared at the woman until with a chuckle she left the room, closing the door behind her. Spock pulled the dark gray tunic he wore over his head. It was surely going to be an unpleasant stay.
§§§§
Two hours later, Spock watched the receptionist as she clumsily balanced her briefcase against the aircar and frantically searched her purse. Standing under the overhang outside the doors of the building, he wondered if perhaps she was experiencing some difficulty. When the first drops of the gathering storm began to fall, he sprinted over as best as his injured ankle would allow.
"May I be of assistance?" He had to raise his voice almost to a shout. The rain was gathering momentum, and the wind added to their discomfort.
"I can't find the controls to the door." Her hair was being blown about, interfering with her search, and the woman finally stopped digging through her purse. With a disgusted frown, she raised her briefcase over her head, trying unsuccessfully to keep her head dry.
Moving her gently out of the way, Spock began experimenting with the controls on the door. He had found that only so many combinations were used to lock these contrivances, and after only a few tries the aircar's lights flickered on and off as the locks disengaged. He opened the door and the woman lowered herself in, her advanced condition making it difficult.
"Aren't you getting in?" she asked.
Spock had started back to the building, and turned at her inquiry. "There is no need. I will wait out the storm beneath the overhang."
"Don't be ridiculous. This could go on for hours. Please." She gave an entreating look with her appeal. "I'd feel so much better if you would. It's so dreary, and I hate driving alone in weather like this."
Spock hesitated for a moment. It was getting colder. With a shiver he nodded his head, went around to the other side and got in. The welcoming warmth enveloped him as doors and windows were closed tight.
"Lieutenant Spock, right?" The woman awkwardly turned in her seat to face him and extended her hand. "Aurelan Kirk."
With only a second thought he took her hand, but held it only a moment. "Miss Kirk."
"Mrs. My husband, Sam, is a research biologist at the university here. But Aurelan's fine." She started the aircar and with practiced ease slowly brought it up and around to start down the road that led away from the city.
"We live on a few acres just outside of town. It reminded my husband of his home on Earth so much, we just couldn't pass it up. I hope you don't mind the inconvenience too much, Lieutenant. But I meant it when I said I don't like to travel alone during a storm."
"It is not a problem. But I am concerned as to how I will reach my hotel room."
"I'm sure Sam will be more than happy to take you once the storm passes. Until then, you'll have someone to visit with."
"It is just the two of you?"
"Oh, no. We have a four year old son, Michael. And of course, Jim."
"Jim?"
"My brother-in-law. He's staying with us until his posting comes in. He's in Starfleet, too, just like you. In fact, he just graduated from the Academy. Top of his class," Aurelan said with a flash of pride.
"Indeed." Spock didn't know what else to say, so he turned and gazed out the window. When he joined the Enterprise, he had made the decision to finally accept that part of himself inherited from his mother. So far, his success had been sporadic. There was so much to learn, so many ways to react to a given situation. He often wished that he had someone, a teacher, to lead him through the maze of emotional response. His captain had tried, but Spock was reluctant to take such advantage of Pike's good nature.
The rest of the trip was made in silence. Mrs. Kirk's, Aurelan's, he reminded himself, attention was on the road, her knuckles white against the steering wheel. The rain was coming down harder, so they could barely see ahead. Trees heavy with rain began to slowly dominate the landscape as they left more and more of the city proper behind. After thirty-seven point six minutes, she turned onto a side road as a large white house appeared out of the deluge. Creeping as close as she could, she brought them to a halt several yards from the porch stairs alongside a stand of trees. The cessation of the engine only amplified the din of the rain.
"Do you think we should try it?" she asked hesitantly.
Spock surveyed the space between the 'car and the beginning of the walkway. The water was already beginning to puddle, and what had been a sheltered area of dirt was now a muddy expanse. "I think not." He peered out the window, trying to make out any movement from the house.
"I know they're here. Sam wasn't going to go in today." She laughed. "He thought he and Jim might get in some hiking...oh, my god!"
Coming through the rain at a dead run, two totally soaked figures raced past the aircar, ignoring it and the passengers inside.
"Is that your husband and brother-in-law?" The two drenched men stood on the porch, throwing off their soaking clothes while laughter hindered their progress. When the smaller of the two began to remove his underwear, Aurelan laid on the horn.
Spock pressed his lips together in an attempt to keep from smiling. Even through the rain, the sheer masculine beauty of the younger man shouted out to him. His body was compact and muscular but gracefully proportioned, the wide shoulders narrowing down to slim hips. Dark gold hair lay plastered against his brow as a slow creep of color suffused his face.
Aurelan laughed and opened the window an inch. "Can one of you go get us an umbrella? And while you're at it, Jim, you might get decent. We've got company."
For Spock, it seemed the day got grayer as the younger Kirk grimaced and entered the house. The man Spock assumed was Sam Kirk walked out into the rain, wearing only a pair of khakis and his dignity.
"Who you've got in there, hon?" He leaned over and his eyes traveled past his wife to the stranger in the passenger seat. A look of surprise crossed his face as he saw the Vulcan sitting there.
"Sam, this is Lieutenant Spock. He was at the center for treatment and came to my rescue when I couldn't get the 'car opened."
"Misplaced your card again, huh?" He smiled to take the bite out of his words. "Nice to meet you, Lieutenant." Sam turned as he heard the screen door slam shut and his younger brother walked out with an umbrella and a large blanket. "Thanks, Jim."
Between the three of them, they managed to get Aurelan into the house safe and dry, though the same could not be said for the three men. Spock looked down at his mud encrusted boots. They matched his pants, spattered with mud and soaking wet to the knees. While the young woman fussed over her dripping husband, Spock studiously avoided looking at her brother-in-law. But almost against his will his gaze swung over to the young man, only to find himself caught by the largest and most compelling eyes he had ever seen on a human. Shot through with green, the hazel eyes stared back. Spock quickly looked away.
"Where's Michael?" Aurelan had shed her coat and shoes and was attempting to dry off her husband.
"He's at the Forrester's. Steve's mom came and picked him up. They should be dropping him off any time now," Sam responded from under the towel Aurelan was using on his hair.
"Jim, why don't you find something for the lieutenant to wear? His uniform is wet and muddy, and it looks like he's stuck with us for a while." Aurelan continued to rub the towel over her husband's head.
Spock's face went a shade darker as Jim Kirk came over and, taking his arm with a smile, began to lead him up the stairs. "Come on. Sam's clothes will fit you better than mine, but you can use my room to change."
Spock felt heat radiating from the contact, the hand wrapped around his wrist drawing him on. But for all his difficulty, he felt bereft when Kirk let go. Kirk had had time only to pull on a pair of old levis, and the view as they walked up the stairs was hard to ignore. The exposed skin of the young man's back glowed with health, and the strained material of the tight pants emphasized the rounded curve of a firm ass. When they reached the top of the landing they turned left to traverse a wide hall. Passing the first two doors, they stopped at the one tucked near the back.
"We're almost there." Kirk opened the door to a narrow stairwell. As he followed, Spock could see filtered light illuminating the room above.
"Here it is, home, sweet home." Kirk spread his arms, turning in a slow circle in the middle of the large expanse.
It must have been an attic at one time, but it had been transformed into a small apartment with all the amenities of a separate residence. A large bed dominated the far wall, and a desk, its top cluttered with books, rested to one side. A small utility kitchen was set off to the left, with a table and chairs for two placed under one of the dormer windows that ran along the entire room.
Spock walked over to the middle window, pillows and blankets making a nest in its alcove. Right outside, a tree opened up, its lush green dampened by the rain. "It is beautiful here."
"I thought you'd like it." Kirk quirked his head. "Though for the life of me, how I knew that...." He shook himself and started for the door. "You wait here. I'll go get those clothes. You'll stay for a while, won't you?"
Spock turned and studied the young man for a moment. "Yes, I will stay."
§§§§
Spock listened intently, often bewildered by the banter that flew across the table as the four humans talked over dinner. Such informal conversation during meals was not done in Vulcan homes, but he was enjoying the spontaneous give-and-take of his new...friends. Yes, his friends, and somehow it felt so very right to sit here with these open, giving beings, his inclusion in their lives a magical reality.
He especially enjoyed watching the young man sitting across the table from him. Jim Kirk's force of will was like no other Spock had ever met.
"Anyway," Jim continued, as he regaled the table with anecdotes of the academy, "it made me even more sure about my choice."
"You wish to command a starship?" Spock was intrigued. Though his own desires led elsewhere, he was fascinated by Kirk's drive.
"You bet. The way I've got it planned, I'll get there in twelve, fifteen years, tops."
"He will, too," Aurelan interjected. "Not too many graduate from the academy by twenty-one. I've never known anyone as tenacious as Jim."
"Lord, yes. You should have seen him as a kid. Little scrawny thing, but he'd take on whoever, or whatever got in his way. Just like Michael, right, son?" Sam ruffled the tow-headed youngster on his left.
"Ah huh. I'm going to go with Uncle Jim, fly a spaceship. He promised." The small boy looked up at the uncle he idolized.
"That's right. You and me, we're going to see the stars together. Every captain needs a right-hand man he can count on." Jim smiled at his nephew and then looked at Spock. "Aurelan says you're with the Enterprise. That'd be Chris Pike's ship, right?"
"That is correct. I joined the crew eight point three months ago."
"How did you get hurt?" Aurelan asked.
"We were attacked by the natives on Rigel Seven. During the ensuing battle, I was felled by an object that struck my ankle."
"I heard you lost some crewmembers." Jim's gaze took on an unfocused quality. "That must be really hard for a captain to deal with. Losing people you're responsible for."
"Captain Pike was deeply affected by it." Spock watched the play of emotions across the young man's face with interest. He wondered how Kirk would eventually deal with such a loss, and how it would change him.
"So, where are you staying, Lieutenant?" Sam Kirk, elbows on the table, leaned forward and looked past his young son to Spock.
"At the Cambridge Hotel, across from the medical center. I am expected to undergo several treatments in order to rectify the injury to my ankle. The hotel is conveniently located for my purposes."
"Oh, but it's so..." Aurelan gave Spock a distressed look.
"Shabby," Jim cut in.
"It is adequate for my needs."
"Oh, no. You can't stay there. Jim, make him see that he can't stay there," the young woman pleaded.
"She's right. It gets pretty noisy there, so close to the spaceport," Kirk commented, and Spock could almost see the thoughts as they formed. "Stay here. There's plenty of room, and you can tell me all about life aboard the Enterprise."
"I could not impose in such a way." Spock fought the suggestion. There was something going on, in himself, something he didn't understand. All he knew was that it somehow had to do with the force of nature known as Jim Kirk.
"I insist. And you can't upset a pregnant woman, it's not good for her." Aurelan smiled and, reaching out, laid her hand on Spock's sleeve. "Please?"
He hesitated, but ultimately was unable to resist Aurelan's sincere appeal, or the sweet expectancy he felt every time he looked at Kirk. "Very well. But only as long as I am allowed to repay you in some way."
Sam laughed. "You shouldn't have said that. Aurelan has lots of projects she's just dying to have help with, don't you sweetie?" He took the woman's hand and Spock instinctively turned away. It reminded him too much of the ritual between his own mother and father. The bittersweet memory brought home once again all he had lost. It occurred to him that his estrangement from his own family could very well have influenced his decision to accept the Kirks' hospitality.
"Don't scare him off, Sam, or I'll have you doing them." She turned to Kirk. "He can bunk with you, can't he? I'll have Sam bring out the roll-away. There's plenty of room."
"Sure. No problem." The young man pushed away from the table, running his hands over his stomach. "That was great, Aurelan. I'm going to have to run twice as far to burn it off." He stood up. "Come on, Spock. The rain's slowed down enough. We can go get your things from the hotel room."
§§§§
The rain had stopped, but the temperature was beginning to fall rapidly by the time they got to the hotel room. Kirk stood at the window, watching the small ships land and take off while Spock gathered his things.
"I hope I get a posting to one of the bigger ships." Kirk turned to Spock. "You never know, maybe I'll even get on the Enterprise."
"That is doubtful. We are not in need of replacements at this time." Spock folded the last of his clothes into his valise, and closed it.
"Gee, thanks, Spock. You really know how to burst a guy's bubble."
The Vulcan's eyebrows shot up. "I did not mean to cause distress. I was merely stating fact."
Kirk grabbed the smaller of Spock's suitcases. "That's okay. But don't you think you'd enjoy serving with me?"
As they headed out, Spock pondered the question. Undoubtedly, he would, perhaps too much so. Getting into the 'car, he studied the young human as Kirk started the engine and began the drive back home. What would it be like, having Kirk on the ship?
Kirk looked over, catching the Vulcan's stare. "What are you thinking?"
"I am considering your question."
"And?"
"And I believe we would both gain much from such an association."
Kirk shook his head. "You make it sound so clinical."
"I am sorry. Such close interaction with humans is new to me. Until recently, I have always followed the Vulcan way. To allow emotion to sway my responses to any given situation.... It is difficult."
"So, am I an experiment? To see if you can put up with a human friend?"
Spock looked away, locking his hands together in his lap. "You are mocking me."
Kirk put his hand over Spock's clenched ones, squeezing for a moment before pulling away. "No, I'm not. I've had some dealings with Vulcans before. I know you see things differently, especially when it comes to companions. A teacher of mine made that pretty clear."
"Then you are not repulsed by my ignorance?"
"Of course not. Listen, we've got weeks and weeks to get to know each other if you want. You're going to be here for six you said, and if you think Aurelan's going to let you get away before then, think again. That woman loves to collect strays. I'll be here at least that long. Starfleet gave me three months' leave before my first ship assignment. Maybe by the end of that time we really will be friends."
"I would find great pleasure in that." Kirk's smile warmed him the rest of the way back.
§§§§
"There are plenty of extra blankets, so if these aren't enough let me know." Aurelan straightened up, pushing hard against her lower back before moving around to finish making up the bed that had been added to Kirk's room.
"You should have waited for us to get back, Aurelan. I'm surprised Sam isn't up here giving you hell." Kirk gently steered his sister-in-law to the foot of the bed and sat her down against the extra pillows before grabbing one of the chairs and straddling it backwards.
Spock looked over from the dresser where he was putting his clothes away. "Indeed. You should not be doing such strenuous work in your advanced condition."
Her light laugh filtered through the room. "Oh, Sam brought the bed up. But he got called in to work for one thing or the other. Besides, I'm pregnant, not an invalid. I know what I can and can't do."
"Yeah, but you look like you're ready to pop." Kirk ducked and laughed when a pillow came sailing past him. "Sam would kill me if I let anything happen to you."
"Nothing's going to happen to me. I'm going to live forever, didn't you know that?" She suddenly became serious. "It's you I'm going to have to worry about. Going all over the galaxy, running into who knows what."
Kirk shrugged. "You can't see anything new staying at home. And just think of all the stories Uncle Jim can tell his nephews, or nieces, when he comes to visit."
Spock walked over and took the other chair at the small table. "Ship's duty is inherently dangerous. But there is much to learn out among the stars. I could not imagine a different life for myself. I believe, in this, Jim and I are much alike."
"Just stay safe, okay?" Aurelan slowly levered herself up. "Now, if you two will excuse me, I'm for bed. Goodnight, Jim, Spock. I'll see you in the morning." The door closed quietly behind her.
"She is a good person," Spock stated.
"The best. I remember the first time Sam brought her home to meet my mom. He was in his senior year at college and Mom was so afraid that his getting serious with her would destroy his chances of getting all the way through his schooling. Turns out, he made it through faster. Aurelan worked for years, taking care of everything until he finished. They didn't have Michael until after Sam got his first decent paying job."
"But she continues to work, does she not?"
"You mean the medical center?" Kirk shook his head. "That's only part time, and only while Michael's in school. I think it keeps her from getting lonely. They're pretty isolated out here. In fact, she's only got the rest of this month. She really is just about ready to have that kid."
"I have never spent time around children. They are something of an enigma to me."
"Me, too. Except for Michael, of course. I was able to spend quite a bit of time with him while I was still at the academy and Sam's job was on Earth. Now..."
"You will miss him?"
"Yeah, isn't that a kick? Sam and I were always close, but Michael...I don't know. We're...connected. He's got me wrapped around his little finger."
"It is said that one's shipmates become one's family."
"Have they for you?"
Spock hesitated. "No, they have not. I have tried to respond in an appropriate way." His success had been only a little better than on Vulcan.
"Your emotional responses?"
"Yes."
Kirk grabbed Spock's shoulder. "You're doing fine."
"I am pleased you think so." Spock almost smiled.
Kirk seemed to be about to say something, but got up instead and headed for the small bathroom set toward the back of the room. "I'll take a shower first. It'll help heat it up for you."
Spock sat quietly, listening to the soft whistling as Kirk showered. When the human reappeared, billows of steam followed him out of the bathroom.
"Your turn." Kirk walked over to the bed and shed his robe, hanging it over the footboard. He turned and smiled at Spock and, with a quiet "goodnight," slid his nude body into the large bed.
Later, after his own shower, and tucked securely under several layers of blankets, Spock wondered at his reaction to the glimpse of flesh and young manhood. And Kirk's seemingly innocent display of it.
§§§§
"Ouch! Shit!"
The vehement whisper broke through Spock's slumber. The room was still dark, the rising sun just beginning to cast a small glow over the nearby mountains. He sat up and turned to see Kirk balanced on one foot, tenderly rubbing the other, his work boots clutched in his free hand. "Have you injured yourself?"
Kirk looked up, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "Sorry, I was trying not to wake you." He put his foot down and came over to sit at the foot of Spock's bed. "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yes. Although I am at a loss as to why I slept so late. On board, it is my habit to be up by four hundred hours."
"You probably needed the sleep. I can't imagine you slept very well at the hotel," Kirk responded while he worked at getting his boots on.
"Perhaps. But normally, Vulcans do not need as much sleep as humans." He eyed the young man, noticing the work clothes he wore. "Do you have plans?"
"Yeah. I've been laying in some shelves in the basement. Everyone else is gone most of the day, so I've been trying to stay busy. Want to help? I could use it. Oh, I forgot about your ankle."
"As long as I do not apply weight to it for an extended period of time, it should be all right." He pushed the covers off and got up. Unlike Kirk, he had slept in nightwear. He walked over to the highboy and pulled out a tunic and pants. "Will this be adequate?"
Kirk gave him a doubtful look. "I don't think so. You need something you won't mind getting torn. Just wear Sam's clothes again. They're old anyway. Later we can either go through his closet and borrow some for a while, or pick you up a few things in town." He finished tying his boots and got up. "I'll go see what he has. When you're ready, meet me downstairs. Aurelan's got breakfast going."
"Very well." Grabbing the clothes he had discarded the night before, Spock laid them out on the bed and proceeded to undress. As he drew off his pajama top, he realized that Kirk was still standing at the doorway, watching him. A Vulcan eyebrow went up in question.
"I'll be downstairs," was Kirk's only response as he left the room.
§§§§
The next few days were spent working in the basement, the hours flying by in the company of the compelling human. Even though only given the work that could be done from a sitting position to keep him off his injured ankle, Spock found the manual labor satisfying, especially since his mind was completely focused on Kirk. He had never known anyone like him. Easy to laughter, the human had a deep and often serious side that Spock was delighted to discover as they talked of everything and nothing. It was during one of these discussions that he learned of a shared addiction.
"You play chess?" Kirk was putting away the tools as Spock finished picking up the pieces of wood scattered about the room. They had made great progress in the short week Spock had come to think of as the most satisfying and deeply rewarding of his life.
"Yes. My mother taught me when I was a small child."
"Your mother? How did she know about chess?" Kirk turned with a puzzled expression.
"She is human." Spock straightened from his task and waited for the usual reaction of distain.
"Really? No wonder you're not like other Vulcans."
"You stated that you have had previous contact with Vulcans. I was not aware that my differences were so obvious," Spock stiffly said.
"Hey, don't get mad. I only meant that you're a lot more open than the few I've known. My calculus instructor at the academy was Vulcan. I met his roommate a couple of times when he'd pick him up after class."
"Roommate?" Curiosity piqued, he forgot his hurt.
"You know what I mean. For all their reticence, it was obvious they were close, connected. I have to admit to being kind of jealous of their relationship. And there were a couple of others." Kirk walked over, concern written clearly on his face. "I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention."
Spock looked down. "No, it is I who should express regret. I assumed offense when there was none."
"Friends, then?" Kirk lowered his head, looked up into Spock's eyes and smiled.
There was no way he could have resisted the human. He raised his head and smiled back. "Yes, friends."
Great." Kirk turned toward the door, acting as if the misunderstanding had never taken place. "There's a chess set in the front room. Let's go play a game."
Spock followed his friend up the stairs and into the front room. Sam and Aurelan were there, sitting quietly before the fire reading.
"What are you two up to?" Sam looked up as they entered, putting down his paper.
Kirk walked to a large cabinet off to the side and started going through the drawers that encompassed the bottom half. "We're going to play chess, if I can find the board."
Aurelan closed her book, her place kept with an inserted finger. "It's in the bottom drawer, Jim, where you left it last time."
"Thanks." Kirk pulled out a dark green box. He brought it over to a small round table placed in front of the windows. He sat down and started setting up the board.
Spock took the seat across from him, studying the chess pieces as Kirk removed them from the felt-lined box. He picked up his king. "Gaius Julius Caesar."
"Yeah, it was my dad's. He was really into ancient Earth history. My mom gave it to Sam when he turned twenty-one. All the pieces represent someone, or something, from that time.
Spock replaced the figure. "Do you wish to play white?"
Sam laughed. "I don't think you know what you're getting into, Spock. I wouldn't give him the advantage if I were you."
"I am considered quite good at the game," Spock replied, slightly ruffled.
"I've heard that before. In fact, I was the one who said it." Sam looked over at his brother. "Go easy on him, Jim."
The game began, and all too soon Spock had reason to rethink his initial confidence. Kirk had an uncanny knack for making moves that were not planned, or seemed to not be, yet ended up putting Spock's pieces in jeopardy. "You play illogically."
"I play to win. Come on, Spock. You're making this way too easy," the human teased.
By the end of the third game, two of which Spock lost, his admiration of his friend's mind had outstripped his appreciation for his looks. Watching the human, Spock wondered what it would be like to join with such a mind.
§§§§
The days passed swiftly. Whenever Spock had an appointment he and Kirk would hitch a ride into town with Sam, his young friend using it as an excuse to get away from their chores for the day. But usually during the week they would be hard at it, leaving off their task with just enough time to shower and change before Aurelan returned home, Michael in tow. The young boy, deprived of his uncle's company while at school, spent most evenings as a constant fixture at Kirk's side. Even Sam's appearance a few hours later could not budge him. Spock had never been in contact with children, and he found the experience somewhat disquieting. It was like discovering a new lifeform, and the Vulcan proceeded to treat the child as such.
The little boy asked questions incessantly, a state that Kirk explained to him was totally normal for a child of Michael's age. Spock wasn't so sure, but he nevertheless did his best to answer the seemingly endless queries. If nothing else, it would teach him patience.
It seemed the entire family was going out of their way to make him feel welcome, at home. Two weeks into his stay, it was decided that included the obligatory old-fashioned barbeque.
Aurelan threw herself into the plans, stating that a party would have the side benefit of introducing Spock to all their friends. It made him feel as one with the entire family, filling the emptiness that had been a part of him since leaving Vulcan. He felt at home.
§§§§
The warm glow from the rising sun was just lighting the room when Spock sensed an essence focused intensely on him. He rolled over and was met by two large hazel eyes appraising him from the bed across the room.
"Good morning," Spock mouthed, slightly bemused by the situation.
The little boy, his back pressed up against his sleeping uncle, continued to stare back. Finally, he crept out of the bed and came over to Spock. He sat at the foot of the bed, propping his chin in his hands, his elbows firmly planted on crossed legs.
"Do you wish to ask me something?" Spock would have been surprised if he didn't.
Michael glanced over to his uncle and then back to Spock. "Are you going to go with Uncle Jim?"
"Go? Where?"
"On his ship."
"I do not believe so. Why do you ask?" Spock queried, noticing the boy's obvious relief.
"He promised to take me with him when he gets his ship. If you go with him, he might not want me."
Spock sat up, giving the small boy his total attention. "You wish very much to be with him, do you not?"
"Ah huh. I'm going to be his..." Michael cocked his head, as if searching for the words.
"First officer?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "his first officer. We're going to go everywhere together. He said we would. But Mom says I can't go yet. I might get hurt." A frown replaced the smile. "But what if Uncle Jim gets hurt?"
"It will be a few years before you will be able to join him. You must first finish school. Perhaps, if it is allowed, I will safeguard him until then. Would that not help?"
The little boy with serious intent thought about it for several seconds before answering. "Okay. But only until I get there."
A rustling from the other bed drew their attention. Kirk was stretching, coming awake. He looked over and blinked in surprise. "What are you two up to?"
"Spock is going to take care of you until Mom lets me go with you." Michael got up and returned to his uncle's bed. He grabbed Kirk's arm, trying to haul him up. "Come on, the barbeque's today."
Kirk pulled the blankets up over his lap as he sat up. "Okay, okay. Give me a minute." He gave Spock a strange look. "What's this about you taking care of me?"
Color suffused Spock's face. "The child was concerned about your welfare until such time as he can accompany you as your first officer. I volunteered my services to that end."
"Really?" Kirk pulled his nephew onto the bed, settling him next to him. "You don't mind if Spock goes with me?"
"No, it's okay. He can take care of you. He's your friend, isn't he, Uncle Jim?"
Kirk looked over, a smile on his face as he gazed at Spock. "Yeah, he's my friend." He continued to stare, finally forcing Spock to look away.
"Perhaps we should get up and prepare for today." Spock, his controls firmly in place, looked back at his friend.
"You're right. Come on, Michael. Time's a-wasting." He picked up the small boy and stood him on the floor, then turned him and with a gentle swat sent him on his way.
"Is it not too cold to be planning outdoor activities?" Spock asked as they dressed. While he layered himself in his clothes, adding the sweater bought during their last visit to town, Kirk threw on levis and a t-shirt.
"Heck, no." Kirk sat to tie his laces. "Summer's on its way. The storm last week was winter's last hurrah."
"There will be many people here, will there not?"
"Sure. Aurelan's invited most of their neighbors. One of them's got a daughter she's just dying for me to meet." Kirk grimaced. "I wish she'd cut it out."
"You do not wish to meet the young lady?"
"Not really. Aurelan means well, but she usually pick these girls that, I don't know, aren't very...exciting. I think she's trying to find me a wife."
"You do not wish to marry?" Spock wondered if perhaps Kirk's desires mirrored his own.
"Maybe some day. But I'm too young for that right now, and I've got a career I'm just starting." He got up and grabbing a light jacket, motioned Spock out of the room. "You know what I mean, don't you?"
"I believe so. You wish to delay marriage until such a time as you feel capable of giving yourself fully to one person."
"That's it exactly! How did you know that?"
Spock didn't answer as they were met by Sam on their way to breakfast. It wasn't until later, as they dragged out the lawn furniture for the expected guests, that they picked up the conversation.
"I too have been...pressured to conform to an acceptable path. For a Vulcan, to be alone is considered outside the bounds of the norm."
They sat at one of the picnic tables for a break. Kirk leaned back, propping his elbows on the surface behind him. "It's not that I want to be alone, exactly. I just don't want to end up with the wrong person."
"Would you not know before making a commitment whether the person was correct for you?" Spock wished he had that option. He turned to face his friend, tucking one leg against his body.
"I don't think it's that easy. Besides, I'm not sure what kind of person would be the right kind. I've always known that I was different, especially since...well, for a long time now." Kirk looked up, seemingly intent on the clouds overhead. "I don't know if the person exists who would be right for me."
"What is it you seek?" Spock's words were almost a whisper.
Kirk didn't answer at first and Spock had begun to believe he wasn't going to when the human finally spoke. "Someone who knows me as well as I know myself, and stays anyway. Someone who can stand at my side, who I can lean on when I need the added strength, and who trusts me enough to lean on me." He turned to Spock with a derisive smile. "I don't ask for much, do I?"
"You deserve that, and much more." Spock was drawn into the large hazel eyes, the human's pull increasing with each passing second. He felt his body lean forward, closing the gap between them.
"There you two are." Sam walked out of the house, banging the screen door behind him.
Kirk blinked and pulled back. He got up, casting a troubled look at Spock as he went to meet his brother. "What's up?"
Spock remained seated as the two brothers started a fire in the nearby firepit. The two were much alike, both open and alive. Yet somehow, Spock could sense a darkness in Kirk that was not present in his older brother, as if his friend had lost a part of himself somewhere along the way. It bothered him inordinately, the idea that something could have hurt Kirk so badly.
While Spock pondered this, Michael and Aurelan walked out of the house. The little boy made his way over to his father and uncle, insisting on helping, while Aurelan came over to sit next to Spock.
They watched the three finish preparing the barbeque pit, until Aurelan finally broke the silence. "I'm so glad Jim was able to stay with us for awhile. It really does him good to be around his brother."
"And Michael?" Spock asked, the question rhetorical.
She smiled, "You've noticed, huh? It's really strange. I don't think Jim wants kids of his own, but he sure is attached to his nephew. It's almost as if..." She trailed off.
"Almost as if?"
She tilted her head in concentration, studying her son and brother-in-law. "As if he sees himself in Michael, the way he was before."
Spock frowned, "Before what?"
Aurelan shook herself and looked away. "It's nothing." She stood and started toward the house. "I'd better finish preparing the food."
When their company began to arrive, Spock found himself sitting alone, watching the humans' interaction with interest. He had seated himself at a table not far from the house, though outside the general commotion. Michael spent most of the day playing with his small friends, but came over to ask Spock if he wanted to play tag. He declined. He felt no desire to put himself forward, finding pleasure instead in watching Kirk talk and laugh with the others. But as time went by, he noticed the human stealing glances at him. Finally, Kirk disengaged himself from the others and walked over to him.
"What's the matter? Aren't you having a good time?"
"I am having an excellent time. I find human interaction fascinating." He looked up at his friend. The temperature had remained balmy just as Kirk had predicted, and the human had abandoned his jacket. The thin material of the t-shirt only accentuated Kirk's body.
Kirk laughed and sat down next to him. "You're studying us, aren't you?"
Spock blushed. "If I have given offense...."
Laying his hand on Spock arm, Kirk shook his head, "It's all right, Spock. So, what do you think so far?"
"It is an interesting cultural ritual. You come together over food to tighten the bonds created by a shared environment, and at the same time create new ones in the desire to maintain the species."
With a laugh, Kirk threw his arm around Spock, hugging him. "Only you would see an innocent picnic as a way for humans to find someone to have sex with."
"Is this not the case?" Spock turned and lifted an eyebrow, his joy at the physical contact almost unbearable.
"Probably. Just don't let Aurelan hear you say that. Speak of the devil."
Spock followed Kirk's gaze and saw Aurelan walking toward them with a young woman in tow.
"Jim, I'd like you to meet Laura. She lives a few miles up the road." Aurelan turned to the girl. "Laura, this is my brother-in-law, Jim, and our friend, Spock. They're both staying with us for a while."
The girl gave Spock a cursory look before fastening on Kirk. After that, Spock did not see his friend for most of the afternoon, Kirk's attention taken by the young girl on his arm. He had resigned himself to an evening alone, surprised at the intensity of his distress. But as the party wound down and he entered the house and started up the stairs, he heard his name yelled out.
"Spock, wait up." Kirk came running up the porch stairs, bounding into the house and next to his friend's side. "Did you think I'd run out on my Vulcan companion?"
Spock almost stumbled, stunned by Kirk's words.
Together, they made their way to the room upstairs.
§§§§
For Spock, Kirk's action spoke of a choice made, and he reveled in the thought that he was Kirk's chosen companion. If the glances thrown his way by the human were sometimes shaded by uneasiness, he ignored the implications. Were they not now t'hy'la?
With their work in the basement done, they began to spend a large portion of each day in the loft, working on whatever new project Aurelan would round up for them. In the closed environment of the isolated room, Spock could visualize how it would be to work with Kirk if they were assigned to the same ship. Kirk was in Starfleet. There had to be a way to guide their careers along the same path. For the first time in his life, Spock was ambivalent regarding the loss of his family's connections. For it would have been an undeniable temptation to use them to gain what he most desired...a future at Kirk's side.
In the evenings, the four adults would often find themselves ensconced around the large fireplace that dominated the front room as they talked of life and the dreams that each held close. Sam would speak of his plans, the positions he hoped would come his way, Aurelan and their children his comfort and support. Aurelan's hopes were for a large family and roots sunk deep on some idyllic planet. For Spock and Kirk, it was the stars that held their future, and both talked of discoveries and adventures to come.
This particular evening, Sam and Aurelan had turned in early. As her delivery date drew near, the two spent more and more time alone. And though he missed their company, Spock delighted in the opportunity to have Kirk even more to himself. Alone, the firelight creating a cocoon of heat and light, the two men could open up to each other in a way unthinkable with any others present. And without the distraction of work, Kirk seemed to draw ever closer to him.
"It's your move, Spock." Kirk lay on his belly, propped up on his arms as they played the chess game that was becoming a ritual.
"I am contemplating my options." Spock frowned at his friend. Kirk had once again managed to trap him into a corner, putting his king in jeopardy.
Kirk grinned wickedly. "It's mate in four, Spock. Give it up."
"The game is not yet over."
The human continued to smile at him, obviously enjoying his predicament. The fire casting flickers of light over Kirk's face only increased Spock's inability to give his total concentration to the game. As he reached to tip his king, a joyous shriek of laughter echoed down the stairs, followed by a very wet and unclothed Michael.
The little boy raced into the room and threw himself into his uncle's arms. "Don't let the monster get me, Uncle Jim!"
Kirk laughed and hugged the wiggling child, who was attempting to turn around in his arms, in anticipation of his father's appearance.
"Here he comes!" Michael yelled, and set forth another loud shriek as his father's head peeked around the wall at the foot of the stairs.
"Where's the little boy who's trying to get out of finishing his bath?" Sam growled, shuffling toward the three in an exaggerated gait.
Spock blinked. Surely Sam was not trying to frighten the child into complying? If he was, it was not working. Michael was giggling loudly, practically climbing over his uncle, who was vainly trying to keep the boy from pulling his hair.
"Get him off of me, Spock." Kirk had joined into the game, which caused Michael to hold on even tighter.
"No, he's mine." Sam's voice deepened as he stalked toward his son.
Michael's eyes were glowing as his father reached for him, and at the last second he leaped from Kirk to Spock, wrapping his legs around the Vulcan's waist. "Save me, Spock!"
Spock never would have expected the feelings that welled up in him for the small human in his arms. He held on to the boy, wanting to protect him from all harm...even the imaginary kind. "I shall allow no one to harm you." He spoke softly, too softly for any to hear, and when Michael finally disengaged himself and went willingly with his father, Spock illogically felt bereft.
"He's got to you, hasn't he?" Kirk asked, a smile of pleasure lighting his face.
"He is innocence and love in one small package. How could he not?" Spock thought of Kirk. As you must have been, my beloved friend.
"I'm glad. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't. He likes you...almost as much as I do."
Spock turned to look at his friend and saw only love reflected back. He took a deep breath to still the racing of his heart as he recognized the pull of a new-born link.
So it was with a jarring sense of falling to earth that Spock heard Kirk's announcement of his plans for the following night.
§§§§
Aurelan's strong hands kneaded the mound of dough as she cast glances at the stoic Vulcan. She had coerced him down from the loft, pleading a necessity for two extra hands. Spock had politely complied but now stood deep in thought, his hands mechanically cutting the assortment of vegetables before him.
"Spock?" She reached out, gently nudging him with her wrist.
He blinked and forced himself to respond. "Yes, Aurelan?"
"What is it? What's the matter?"
"There is nothing amiss." He looked down at the cutting board. The vegetables were cut so small they looked almost mashed. With a sigh he dropped them into the large bowl on the counter and started on a new batch.
"You miss Jim, don't you?" she asked. "He'll be back in a few hours. I think he and Gloria were only going to a movie." She made a face. "I don't understand why he even bothers."
The non sequitur caught his attention. "I do not understand."
"Oh, don't mind me." She shrugged. "It's just that I don't particularly care for Miss Gloria butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth Rivers."
Spock's eyebrows disappeared under his bangs, much to Aurelan's delight.
"Does Jim know of your feelings?" he queried.
"I guess. It's not like I've tried to hide them. The funny thing is, I thought he felt the same way. The previous time he took her out, he swore it would be the last."
"Perhaps he has reconsidered?" Spock tentatively responded.
"But why? The girl's nice enough, in a condescending sort of way. But Jim could do so much better. I just don't understand why he can't find someone worthy of him. I know it irritates him, the way I'm always introducing him to girls I know, but it's only because I love him...and because he makes such lousy choices on his own. Time after time, I've seen him pick these women... First it's one that's way too old for him, then a total nut-case, then...well, I could go on all night. I don't know, it's almost as if he goes out of his way to make sure he doesn't date anyone that he could possibly have a future with."
"A family is difficult to maintain in the profession he has chosen. He has often mentioned his own situation."
"His father's death."
"Yes. He does not wish to visit such pain on a wife and children." Spock knew the feeling well. He had no desire to marry, to leave his bondmate behind while he followed his own path. He had maintained the illogical hope that if he ignored his link to T'Pring long enough, she would just go away. It had worked so far.
"Well, I don't agree with that at all. Jim could have a perfectly satisfying relationship with someone in the service, someone who wants the same kind of life he does. And Spock, everyone dies eventually. To go through life afraid of getting close just because you or they might die someday just doesn't make any sense. This time is all we have. If I died tomorrow, not ever having had the love of my husband, my son, it would make my death even more tragic."
"It is difficult sometimes to see the logic of a certain course when it is not what you truly desire."
"Are you talking about Jim, or yourself?"
Spock put the knife down and started tearing the bread Aurelan pushed over to him into small pieces. "Both. I do not wish to betray a confidence. Jim has honored me with his trust. But I have discovered that we are much alike. We both strive for a place, a home if you will, where we can be what we were meant to be, and a companion to make the journey with. But at the same time, we both desire total freedom. I am not saying this well. Emotions are difficult for me to understand, much less explain."
"I think I understand. You're both very special men, Spock. And you're both going to need a very special partner. But running's not going to get you anywhere. Eventually you, and Jim, are going to have to face up to the fact that you can't hide from love."
"Is that what you think we are doing?"
Aurelan shrugged. "I don't know you well enough to say. But I know my brother-in-law. He's running so fast there's a real chance he's going to miss this person when she, or he, finally shows up."
"He?" Spock looked up from his task in surprise.
"Why not? Love comes in all sizes and shapes." She grimaced and wiped her hands on the kitchen towel. "My back is bothering me. Could you finish up here, Spock? I really need to lie down."
Spock replayed their conversation as he put the food away and cleaned up. Did Jim feel any of the desire that he did? And if he did, how did Spock go about finding out? Never had his lack of knowledge been so frustrating. Finishing his task, Spock turned off the light and made his way up to their room and bed.
Two hours later he heard Kirk quietly come in. By the time the human had showered and crawled into bed, Spock was contentedly asleep.
§§§§
Spock closed the door to the bedroom and headed downstairs. For once, he had risen earlier than Kirk, who was only now getting up. He could hear Aurelan in the kitchen as she prepared their breakfast. It was her last day of work, but due to a mix-up in dates the day before had been Michael's last at school. Somehow Spock and Kirk had been volunteered, and would spend the day trying to keep up with the four-year old. Aurelan had graciously offered to leave her 'car in recompense.
The little boy sat in his place at the table, his breakfast already half finished when Spock walked in. He looked up and grinned, displaying a large portion of his breakfast through the gapped-tooth smile of early childhood.
"Morning, Spock. You and Jim ready for your big day?" Aurelan teased. She turned to the table and deposited a stack of pancakes next to the hotplates of eggs and sausages.
"As ready as can be expected." He took his seat, conveniently set furthest from the nauseating smell of burnt flesh, and proceeded to pile his plate with the only thing on the table he could eat. He was becoming a connoisseur of pancakes.
"You could have waited for me." Kirk came in and took his seat next to Spock, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"I did not wish to disturb your sleep. You were up quite late." Spock kept his eyes on his breakfast.
"Stupid movie. I would have been home earlier, but Gloria insisted on stopping for a drink first." Kirk stabbed his fork into a sausage and began to load up his plate.
Aurelan walked around to her chair and sat down, timing the placing of her and Sam's breakfasts to her husband's entrance. "Since when does a girl tell you what to do?"
"What girl?" Sam asked as he took his place at the head of the table.
"Gloria." His wife brought her hand together at the side of her face, mimicking the motions of a southern belle. "Oh, Jimmy. You all have to buy me a drink, or I'll just die."
Sam's laughter was stifled by the dirty look from his brother.
"Is she not well?" Spock turned to inquire of his friend.
"If you're talking about Aurelan, the answer is no." Kirk glared at his sister-in-law. "It's not funny. She practically made a scene."
Spock knew Aurelan was confronting Kirk over his choice of companion, but her brutal honesty was disconcerting. He looked over at Michael. The little boy's eyes were big, round O's. Spock could imagine the shock he must be feeling to see his mother berate his beloved uncle that way.
"It'd serve you right if she did. You know what kind of girl she is. I thought you weren't going to go out with her anymore?"
Kirk looked at Spock, as if expecting help. Not knowing what to do, Spock could only look back helplessly. After a moment, Kirk looked away and turned to his brother.
"You really should learn to control your wife, Sam. Sometimes, she says things that-"
"Don't get me in the middle of this. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. That's my motto." Sam brought his hands up in defense, caught between his wife and brother.
"Oh, forget it. Eat your breakfast," Aurelan said in disgust.
The table was quiet after that. Spock occasionally threw a glance at Kirk or Aurelan, but they both had their gazes locked on their plates. After what seemed a very long time, Spock felt a tap on his shoulder.
"You ready to go?" Kirk was standing up, his face closed.
Spock nodded and pushed away from the table. "Thank you for breakfast, Aurelan."
The woman looked up and smiled. "Anytime, Spock. I'll see you later."
Kirk grabbed his arm and pulled Spock from the room. "Thank you for breakfast, Aurelan," he mimicked. "Some friend you turned out to be."
"I do not understand what transpired. Why is she angry with you? And you with her?"
"It's a long story. But basically, she's mad at me for going out with Gloria." Kirk sighed. "And I guess I can't blame her. I don't even know why I did. I would have had more fun spending the night with you." Kirk's face turned an appealing rose. "That didn't come out right."
Spock puzzled over the statement. "You would not have enjoyed my company?"
"Of course I would have. I meant about spending the night with you. You know."
"No, I do not know. Please explain."
Kirk looked at him as if he couldn't make up his mind if Spock was serious or not. "Us being together, through the night...in bed."
Spock's eyebrows flew up. It was the opportunity he had been looking for. "I understand. You are referring to sexual congress. I was not aware that you desired intercourse with males."
"I don't! And lower your voice, for Pete's sake." Kirk shook his head. "Do you? Like men, I mean."
"I do not know. I have never had sexual relations with one."
Kirk gave him an odd look, and then grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the front room. He sat on the couch and indicated Spock sit next to him. "Would you like to?"
Spock was about to answer honestly, when the instincts he denied having kicked in. "Why do you ask?"
Kirk looked away. "Just wondering. I've had one or two come on to me, but I've never been interested. I like women."
"I see." He didn't, but he knew he was out of his depth, floundering in unknown territory.
"Jim? Where are you guys?" Sam called from the hallway.
"In here." Kirk got up and met his brother at the door.
"We're leaving now. Michael's in the backyard. Keep an eye on him, and don't let him stay out too long."
"Sure. We're be leaving for town soon, anyway. Spock has another treatment today." Kirk stayed to the side as Aurelan entered the room on her way out.
Sam sighed and, placing his hand on his wife's back, led her out.
Kirk stood in the room for a moment and then suddenly raced to the door and threw it open, waving furiously. "I'll see you guys later!"
Spock, standing at the window, saw the smile light Aurelan's face as she waved back.
§§§§
