Shadow Play Pt 1 by Elise Madrid (K/S)
Apr. 20th, 2005 03:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseWill wonders never cease; I'm finally going to post something to my LJ! Since I don't have clue as to how to go about setting up a website, I've decided to archive my stories here. They're not going up in any order; it's mainly whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Most are slash and were originally published in zines, but there'll be a few gen stories from an obscure fandom plus one MFU that's already on the net so I'll try to remember to list the fandom in the subject line. Anyway, here's the first.
This story was originally published in Legends 3 (Nov. 2003,) a K/S zine by MKASHEF Enterprises.
Shadow Play
by Elise Madrid
“We live not in a single
universe, but in a vast and
rich multiverse.”
David Deutsh
Oxford theoretical physicist
Distinguished Fellow
British Computer Society
Spock glanced at the man striding ahead of him as they exited the transporter room. The captain was in the middle of one of his well-known rampages. The human had gone from overwhelming relief to a towering rage in a matter of moments.
Once the beam had released him, Kirk’s first steps off the transporter platform had brought him directly to his first officer. With a determined scowl he had grabbed Spock’s beard and given it a not-so-gentle tug. The scowl had then turned to a beaming smile.
“Gods, it’s good to be home,” Kirk shouted.
Everyone in the transporter room visibly relaxed. It wasn’t any of their fault that their captain and the rest of the landing party had ended up in another place, another universe. But it would do no good to tell Kirk that.
“I take it your experience was not a pleasant one.” Spock addressed himself to Kirk, but it was McCoy who answered.
“You’re damn right it wasn’t. We spent most of our time in the brig.” The doctor shook his head in disgust and walked away, muttering under his breath. “I need a drink.”
Kirk grinned. “And how did our counterparts like their accommodations here?”
Spock visibly tensed as the room grew quiet and all eyes came to rest on their captain.
Kirk noticed the change. His gaze slid around the room, seeming to mark the slow retreat of his crew and the slight cringe whenever he looked directly at anyone in particular. He gave an especially penetrating stare to Lieutenant Moreau but said nothing. Finally he swung back to Spock. “All right, Spock. Let’s have it. What in Hades happened while I was gone?”
Spock’s lips pressed into a tight line. He would have preferred them alone when Kirk was advised of the new situation. Apparently, that was not to be an option. So be it. “We were not aware that a transposition had taken place. Your counterparts,” his gaze took in Mr. Scott and Lieutenant Uhura, “were given free access to all parts of the ship.”
“What do you mean, you weren’t aware? How could you not be aware?”
“They gave no indication that they were other than what they appeared.” Spock folded his arms across his chest, as if barricading himself from his captain’s ire. “It was only after he rescinded the destruct order against the Halkans that I began to – ”
“He WHAT?” It was then that Kirk did what he had never done before. He grabbed Spock around the biceps, his fingers digging into the muscles beneath the blue satin. “You let him do that? On my ship?”
Spock was too surprised to pull away. Through the physical contact he was being bombarded by Kirk’s anger. “Captain, we thought we were following your orders.”
“My orders? Come off it, Mr. Spock. You should know me better than that by now. But how convenient for you if I should allow myself that huge a mistake. I imagine you’ve been contacted by the Council.”
“Yes. But there is still time to rectify the situation.”
“There better be. Damn it! How stupid are you people?” Suddenly, as if realizing who it was he was holding, Kirk let go with a shove that almost overbalanced his first officer. He turned and headed from the room. “Never mind. The rest of you get to your posts. Spock, you come with me. I want some answers and, Mister, they’d better be good.”
[][][][][]
Spock followed his captain in his customary half step behind as they made their way through the ship and, apparently, for Kirk’s cabin. That was a good sign. Only in his cabin would Kirk allow himself to be alone with someone. And, other than whatever woman happen to be sharing his bed at the moment, that privilege was reserved only for Spock. It implied to him that he still held a certain amount of Kirk’s trust, albeit an unspoken one. Spock wondered just how much of that unspoken trust would still be in place by the end of the day.
They entered the darkened room, leaving their security men in the corridor. As the door closed behind them Spock tried to unobtrusively examine his surroundings. Somewhere in this room was a weapon of vast power. What had that other Kirk said? A weapon that would make him invincible? What had the human seen? And would Moreau still be willing to tell Spock what it was and how to use it? Did he really want to know?
Kirk headed for the sleeping area and his bolero was off and his pants undone by the time he reached the dresser next to the sleeping area. “Pour yourself a drink... pour me one while you’re at it. I’m going to take a shower to wash away the stink of that place.”
“Was it truly that bad, Captain?” Spock picked up one of the flasks at the sideboard and poured them both a drink.
Kirk nodded as he balanced on one foot to remove his boot. “You wouldn’t believe it, Spock. I’ve never met a more pathetic bunch of people in my life. And your counterpart was the worst of the lot. I thought he was going to faint when I tried to have the Halkans destroyed.”
“At what point did they realize you were not who you seemed?”
The second boot hit the floor and Kirk bent over as he pushed his pants and briefs down and off in one forceful movement. He straightened and, bundling his clothes in a ball, shoved them down the laundry chute. “About thirty seconds after I got there. But your counterpart was looking at me like I’d grown a second head the moment I beamed aboard. It really was weird.” He grabbed his robe from the foot of the bed and shrugged into it, loosely tying the belt about his waist. “I’d almost swear he knew right then and there, before I’d said one word, that I wasn’t his captain.” Kirk frowned as he took the drink Spock brought to him. “It’s too bad I can’t say the same for you.”
With that parting shot, the human headed for a shower.
Spock went back to collect the bottle and his own glass and then took a seat at his captain’s desk to wait. This was only more of Kirk’s mental games. He would make Spock wait, “stew in his own juices”, before making him pay for every failure, imagined or not. At times, he felt a certain kinship with the human. They were both in positions of power, trying to stay alive without selling too much of their souls. But at others... Kirk was an enigma. Spock wasn’t sure what Kirk wanted from him. An ally, yes. But never more than that.
Yet there had been moments when the human had allowed him to see a tiny piece of what lay hidden behind the wall Kirk had built around himself. Though brief, they gave hints of the man no one really knew. A lonely man in need of what Spock didn’t know. An eyebrow went up in bemused realization that his captain had not asked what kind of impression his own counterpart had made.
Spock sobered instantly. Perhaps it was for the best. How did you tell someone that you had met the man he could have been? A man so in tune with who he was and what he wanted, that Spock had nearly been swayed by the force of his personality. No, best to forget that man, and all his wild dreams of a better world... and the brief glimpse Spock had caught of the life that Kirk shared with his own first officer.
The bathroom door slid open, followed by a cloud of steam that billowed out and then parted to release his slightly damp captain toweling his hair with one hand while holding the half empty drink in the other. After donning a clean uniform he walked over and took the seat behind the desk. “Okay, give.”
“I beg your pardon?” Spock would not go into this blind. He needed to know exactly what Kirk was after.
“Don’t play stupid, Spock. I want to know what happened. Everything that happened.” Kirk scowled and threw the towel on the floor. His hair was starting to curl about his face, giving him a boyish look. Spock knew he hated it.
“Very well.” His dissertation was long and involved as he attempted to impart all he knew of the event. Of course, he was not in possession of all the facts. Lieutenant Moreau would have to make her own peace with her lover. Still, there were some things best left unsaid. By the time he quieted, Kirk was somberly gazing into space, his crossed legs outstretched before him as he leaned back into the chair. The empty glass nestled against his chest was the only sign that he had moved at all during that time.
Finally the human stirred. He straightened and reached for the decanter Spock had placed on the desk. He filled his glass only half way. Spock’s he topped off with a grin. “After all that you deserve it. So, what do you think? You think Marlena will stick a knife in me one night?” He waved his hand when Spock started to respond. “Don’t say it. I know what I have to do. I’ll get her a transfer to some backwater station. That and a few threats should keep her quiet.”
“Threats, Captain?”
Kirk grinned sardonically. “They work if they’re the right ones... and if the person knows you’ll carry them out if you have to.” The smile left his face. “I can’t believe she was so willing to leave with him.”
“She was afraid. She had already helped him. And... he had been kind to her.”
“Marlena wouldn’t know ‘kind’ if it hit her over the head. She didn’t get where she is being kind, Spock. None of us did. No, there was more to it than that.” He gave his first officer a penetrating stare. “Did she show you where it is?”
Spock didn’t have to ask what “it” was. “No, there was no time. I was informed of its existence only seconds before the second transposition was to occur.”
“Am I going to have to kill you?”
The words were softly spoken and laced with regret. Yet Spock understood that his next words would mean the difference between life and death. “I will not deny that I found your counterpart’s words intriguing. There is much within the Empire I would see changed. But you are my captain and this is my universe. Whatever he sought to encourage would not stand against such realities. You need not fear disloyalty on my part.”
Kirk nodded. He picked up his glass and, with a flourish, slammed back the drink. Placing the empty goblet on the desk, he motioned to Spock to pick up his own. “Go ahead, Spock.”
He hesitated only a moment. But then downed the liquid in one swallow, his eyes never leaving his captain. Spock could feel the potent beverage heat his throat and settle in a molten pool in the pit of his stomach. His eyebrow went up in appreciation and in an unspoken question.
“A toast,” Kirk responded. “We’re both alive. And it looks like we’re both going to stay that way for awhile.”
[][][][][]
Later, in bed, Kirk struggled with the sleep that was usually quick to come. But he wasn’t used to sleeping alone. Marlena was not much more than a bed-warmer by now, but he found that, with her gone, the loneliness that had been his constant companion since his youth was harder to ignore. And thoughts that would have been better not to have wouldn’t leave him alone.
Spock. He hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision to spare the Vulcan. But he liked Spock. He really did. More, he trusted him; a commodity in rare supply in the life he had carved out for himself. He couldn’t afford to trust. But from the first he had trusted Spock. Kirk vividly remembered their first meeting. Pike wasn’t cold in his grave when Kirk had bullied his way onto the Enterprise, surprising, he was sure, the young lieutenant whose blade had been found firmly planted in the ship’s late captain. Surprising even more the cool and collected science officer who had met him and his bodyguard in the transporter room.
They had silently appraised each other for long moments. Kirk had seen a man who radiated intelligence and dignity. A man who knew what he wanted and had no qualms about going after it. What Spock saw only he knew. Kirk had heard it said that the Vulcan didn’t want the captaincy. Fine. But did he want Kirk as his captain?
Kirk ha d taken the chance of coming on board with only Farrell to back him up. The two men could have been easily overpowered, but Spock had seemed to come to a decision as he sized Kirk up. One elegant eyebrow had lifted at Kirk’s grin and with a nod their futures had been set. Spock had thrown in with him, and the ship had become his.
A year and a half later, they were still dancing around each other. Kirk sat up and shook his head in disgust. He rested his arms on his drawn-up knees and stared into the dark. Where did he and Spock go from here? Surely two grown men could come to some kind of understanding. Was it so wrong of him to want the Vulcan as a friend? Life was hard enough without the isolation his command had added. He didn’t want to spend the rest of the mission this way. He needed someone he could rely on, someone he could let his guard down with. None of the women who had come and gone from his bed had ever been able to win that from him.
He knew Spock would never make the first move. Kirk didn’t know much about his first officer’s past. The bits and pieces he had garnered over time had been hard won. What he did know was that Spock wanted desperately to be a man unto himself. Kirk had known other Vulcans. None had been so rigidly formal as his second-in-command, who insisted that he felt none of the emotions that plagued his mother’s people. Very well. It had taken a trip into another universe to make Kirk see just how much he needed Spock’s friendship. Now it was up to him to make Spock see how much he needed Kirk’s.
He slid back down to rest on his side and pulled one pillow close. Kirk felt better now. He always did after making a decision. He’d start his campaign tomorrow. Poor Spock wouldn’t know what hit him.
[][][][][]
Kirk unobtrusively watched the door to the mess hall as he ate his meal. He had gone out of his way to learn Spock’s schedule, and knew the Vulcan regularly took his lunch at this time. At that moment, just like clockwork, his first officer entered the room. Without a word, Spock’s man turned to collect his superior’s food.
“Mr. Spock, over here,” Kirk called. He noticed the slight hesitation before Spock turned from his original destination.
“Is there something I can do for you, Captain?” Spock cast a glance at Farrell, who was standing against the wall.
Kirk motioned the man off with a short wave of his hand. The large human moved far enough away that their conversation would go unheard, but not far enough that he wouldn’t be able to respond in case of an attack. “Go ahead, sit down.”
Spock took the seat across from Kirk.
To anyone else, the Vulcan’s posture would have screamed a casual forbearance. But Kirk had been watching Spock very carefully. He had learned much in the last weeks. Spock was curious. And Kirk’s recent behavior was driving him crazy. Kirk waited until Spock’s man brought his first officer’s lunch and, with a look from Spock, had moved off.
“What is that?” Kirk peered at the sick-green concoction in Spock’s bowl.
“Plomeek soup. It is a Vulcan dish.”
Kirk watched, fascinated, as Spock brought a spoonful of the soup to his mouth.
Spock’s hand stopped, the spoon inches from his face. “Captain?”
“Uh, sorry. It’s just that it looks awful.” He picked up his own sandwich and took a bite. He noted the look of amusement on Spock’s face and shrugged. It was a start.
They ate in silence at first. Kirk had heard it was a Vulcan tradition. It wasn’t bad, not really. He felt comfortable, and glancing up, he realized Spock did, too. After a while, he managed to throw out a question and their conversation started from there. Nothing too personal, just the normal topics one might bring up with a fellow officer. Kirk didn’t even see McCoy until it was too late.
“Well, what do we have here?” The doctor strolled up to their table.
“What is it, McCoy?” Kirk snapped. He could feel Spock’s shields go up from across the table.
The doctor’s gaze slid from one man to the other. “Nothing. I was just surprised to see you two at the same table. Never saw Spock deign to eat with one of us lowly humans, even if that human is the captain.”
Kirk saw Spock begin to rise and without thinking, reached out and grabbed the Vulcan’s arm. “No, stay where you are.”
The entire room went still as both men’s guards moved toward the table.
“Are you threatening me, Captain?” Spock’s voice was low, but his meaning was perfectly clear.
Kirk slowly let go and pulled his arm back. “No. Just... don’t go.” He gave a small shake of his head to Farrell who then returned to his former position.
Spock studied him intently for long moments before motioning his own man off.
Taking a deep breath, Kirk turned to McCoy. “Unless you have something of importance to say, Doctor, I’m right in the middle of a conference with Mr. Spock.”
McCoy had gone white, having almost ended up right in the middle of a confrontation between the two most powerful forces on the ship. Apparently, it was enough excitement for the day. “No, nothing that can’t wait; I’ll see you later, Captain.”
“The doctor is showing some of his little-used intelligence,” Spock intoned as both men watched McCoy grab a cup of coffee and head out the door.
“You mean he’s good at saving his own skin.” Kirk picked up his coffee and finished it off. “I should go. He won’t get off my back until he tests me again to make sure all the Venus drug Harry Mudd slipped me is out of my system.”
“Mr. Mudd is most fortunate the drug’s effects are relatively harmless. I would have been most displeased if your incapacitation had forced me to take permanent command of the ship.”
Kirk’s head jerked up. It was the closest the Vulcan would ever come to saying that he had been worried. But Kirk knew that was exactly what Spock was saying. It was written all over his face. “Why, Mr. Spock. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I do not wish command – ”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Kirk stood. “I’ll see you on the bridge.” He started to walk away, but then stopped and returned to the table. “Are you free tonight?”
“Free?” He’d taken Spock off guard again and the Vulcan looked totally confused.
“Free, you know, nothing to do.”
“I endeavor to always have something to do, Captain.” He hesitated. “But I have nothing pressing.”
“Good. Then I’ll expect you at nineteen hundred hours. I’ll have the chess board all set.” Kirk didn’t wait for an answer, but started for the door. As he left, he happened to glance back at his first officer. Spock looked like he had been phaser-stunned. With a smile, Kirk headed for sickbay.
[][][][][]
The lab was deserted as Spock scanned the day’s inputs from his office terminal. He preferred working here alone. The words that scrolled past on the computer screen were being taken in and stored for future consideration. But at the moment, Spock had more pressing things to think about. That he still lived was never far from his mind. The reason his captain had seen fit to spare him, even more so.
It was six weeks since the transference with that other universe. Six weeks since Kirk had, for whatever reason, decided their relationship would now take a new course. With Lieutenant Moreau gone, Kirk appeared to have found himself with plenty of time on his hands. So slowly and steadily, his captain had drawn him in, using his not-inconsiderable charm to bind Spock to him. There had been shared meals and chess matches that had lasted long into ship’s night. They had even taken to having deep conversations on the OD, the stars their only audience. Spock had found all this disturbing... and shockingly enticing.
Spock’s life on Vulcan had always been difficult. Other than his parents and she who was his chosen, there were none on that harsh planet he had ever felt a kinship with. It had made it easy to leave the security of his home and take on the challenges of serving the Empire. Among the humans he was alien; but it was an alienation of his own choosing. Having cut all ties to Vulcan, he had never thought to replace them with new ones.
The screen went blank and he removed the disc from the terminal to replace it with the last of the lot. The information continued to spill out even as he continued his musings.
Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been if he had remained, following in his father’s footsteps as diplomat and ambassador. Whether Vulcan desired it or not, the position would have been his. Tradition would have demanded it. But he truly could not see that for himself. His unwillingness to take that path had brought a painful parting that had severely tested his father’s control and frayed the tenuous link that bound Spock to she who would be his wife. T’Pring, no matter her regard for him, had not submitted to a full bond during his pon farr and would not until he returned home to stay. She was a deserving female; intelligent and loyal. But she had no wish to tie herself to a mate she saw but rarely. He could not give her offspring, and he often feared that she would ultimately find another.
This had been his existence before the transference. Why could it not have continued thus? He may not have been “happy”, as the humans named it. But he had been content. He had gained his captain’s trust. It had been all he desired. Now he had tasted the forbidden fruit of emotion and had no idea what to do with its consequences. Was this... relationship that had blossomed between him and his captain what humans called friendship?
He found that he felt concern whenever the volatile human placed himself in danger. The dull ache of anxiety would take up residence in his chest every time Kirk was injured. Very well. He... cared for his captain. Where did such feelings belong in the universe they inhabited?
Perhaps if he had not been so deep in thought, he would have heard the slight click as the door to the lab was locked; might have noticed the dimming of the lights. As it was, only when the head of security stood before him, phaser in hand, did Spock understand his danger.
“What is it you wish, Mr. Sulu?” he asked harshly.
The other man smirked, delighted in catching Spock unaware. “I think you know, Commander.”
“My death will bring you no closer to the captaincy. Captain Kirk will merely find himself another first officer.”
“Perhaps. But he’ll be more vulnerable with you gone. He’s gotten sloppy recently.”
Spock knew this to be true. It was as if, once Kirk had allowed his guard down to allow Spock in, he was unable to completely raise it again. He wasn’t the man he had been before the transference. Sulu’s continued existence proved that. “He spared your life, yet you still seek his.”
“There’s no room in the Empire for a captain who’s gone soft. If it isn’t me, it will be someone else. I’ll make it painless. He deserves that much.” Sulu tightened his grip on his weapon. “But enough about the captain. It’s your turn first.”
Spock slowly got to his feet. “My death will be avenged. And I find it unlikely that you could stave off all my operatives.”
“Who’s to know? You’ll just disappear. Poof.” Sulu splayed out the fingers of his free hand. “Tomorrow morning you just won’t show up for duty.”
“You do know that Vulcans are telepaths, do you not, Mr. Sulu?”
The man’s eyes narrowed. “You have to be in physical contact. And none of your men will ever get close enough to me to try.”
“There is one exception to that rule. A Vulcan’s chosen partner is in constant mental contact. She will know.”
“You don’t have a partner.”
Spock leaned back against the desk and folded his arms across his chest, pretending a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “I’m surprised at you, Lieutenant. You should have been more thorough in your research. If you had checked my personnel file, you would have known that I do indeed have a spouse. And T’Pring’s first act will be to notify my operatives of my death.”
“You’re lying.” Sulu stepped slightly closer and Spock took the only opportunity he knew he’d have. He kicked out with one foot, catching the smaller man’s calf and pulling his leg out from under him.
With a surprised yelp Sulu went down, but managed to hold on to his weapon. He scampered up, in hot pursuit as Spock raced out of the inner office to the room beyond and safety.
He almost made it. Not realizing that the door was locked, Spock lost precious moments trying to force it open. He managed to dive behind one of the lab tables as the beaker sitting on its top dissolved within the phaser’s beam. But unable to stop his forward momentum, he crashed into the wall, striking his head on its hard surface.
“You can’t get away, Mr. Spock.” The head of security slowly worked his way over to the light controls and brought the room into stark relief as the overheads blazed to their highest settings.
Spock rolled into a sitting position and cradled his bleeding head. Sulu’s boots came into his line of vision and he looked up into the determined face of his enemy.
The helmsman gave him a mocking smile, raised his phaser... and disappeared in a flash of white.
[][][][][]
“Come.” Kirk stood at his desk as he released the lock on his door. He knew it was Spock. The Vulcan who walked in, blood running freely from the gash on his forehead, looked shaken and on the verge of losing control. Spock walked slowly toward him and Kirk could see the question in the dark eyes before the words were even said.
“You saved my life. Why?”
“Do you really need to ask that?” Kirk sat down and motioned for Spock to do the same. After a moment’s hesitation, the Vulcan took the seat opposite his captain.
“I wish...”
Spock seemed to grope for words, the first time Kirk had ever seen him do that. “What? What do you wish?”
Pressing his lips together, Spock shuddered slightly and then straightened into the chair. “I wish to know what this is between us.”
Kirk leaned back to study his first officer. When he had turned on the Tantalus field and seen Sulu and Spock talking in Spock’s office, the stab of pain had caught him unaware. And for a moment he had raged at the betrayal he thought he saw there. But once the true situation revealed itself, he had not hesitated to push the button and snuff out the life of his traitorous security officer. And all for this man. This man who could not bring himself to name what it was they were to each other.
“Friends. We’re friends,” Kirk finally answered in a voice laced with sarcasm.
Spock almost cringed, but then brought imploring eyes up to meet Kirk’s gaze. “I do not ask this lightly. Nor do I mean to belittle what has grown between us. But there is much that is different between our worlds, Captain. For a Vulcan, there is no such thing as a casual acquaintance, a ‘friend’ that one picks up and puts down at ones leisure. The role of telepathy in our lives makes that impossible.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You say we are friends. But for a Vulcan that entails a closeness that is of the mind, a connection that binds like to like.”
Kirk leaned forward, intrigued. “Are you saying there’s something... mental between us?”
The Vulcan tilted his head in thought for a moment before answering with a surprised lift of his brow. “I believe so. We have always shared a rapport. But since your return from that other universe, and our escalating... dependence outside of duty hours, our minds seemed to have reached out to each other. Without knowing it, we have apparently made that connection.”
“Like you and T’Pring?” He almost bit his tongue trying to call the question back. But curiosity and an unexpected hurt had compelled Kirk to ask.
Spock almost smiled. “No, Captain. Not like me and T’Pring.”
“Who is she?”
“The closest analogy would be my fiancee.”
“Fiancee? Not wife? You told Sulu – ”
“No, not wife.”
Kirk saw the momentary flash of pain in the Vulcan’s eyes and wondered at it. Maybe someday Spock would tell him about her, but right now he had seen the unmistakable signs of a topic off limits. “Okay, not like yours and T’Pring’s. What then?”
“On Vulcan, there is a word left over from a time before logic ruled our lives; a barbaric era ruled by a warrior caste who spent their lives waging wars and who gave little thought to the mundane duties of home and hearth. Those closest to these men were their fellow warriors, the brothers they lived, and died, with. They were t’hy’la.”
“T’hy’la?” Kirk’s tongue tripped over the exotic word.
“Friend, brother, sometimes lover.”
“Oh, wait a minute, Spock – ”
“Sometimes, Captain. Not always. It was left to the discretion of the individuals. In any event, the word has survived. Though Vulcans now control their emotions, it would be illogical to deny what is. Two men, depending on each other for their very existence, create something larger than both. The link is a tangible manifestation of this most cherished bond. A mental connection that enhances the relationship between these two ‘friends’. Do you understand, Captain?”
“I think so.” He did understand. From the first there had been that indefinable rapport between them, as if each brought to the relationship something missing in the other. If this was the outcome, then he had done himself a great service by making sure the Vulcan had stayed at his side. He had never had a friend, not like this, anyway. He was so very glad that he had fought to win this one. “Do you think that’s what they are to each other?” he asked suddenly.
“Sir?” Spock shifted in his chair.
“Our counterparts. I remember thinking that that Spock was ready to do just about anything to get his captain back. It wasn’t anything he said, exactly,” Kirk tried to recapture the image of that beardless Spock, “but there was something...”
“I would say, yes, then. They were most certainly t’hy’la.”
Kirk frowned slightly at the rushed words, but didn’t pursue them. But the image they created held his thoughts, and he wondered what it must be like for them. His eyes clouded as he realized how it would have to be for him and Spock. “Spock, you realize we’ll never be able to let anyone know, don’t you?” He looked into eyes filled with the same regret.
“Yes, Captain. I am well aware of the danger that would place us both in.”
Kirk nodded his head. “Yeah.” He straightened and held his friend’s gaze. “’Jim.’ I want you to call me ‘Jim’ when we’re alone.”
Spock stared at him for a long moment and then dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Jim.”
[][][][][]
Kirk watched his people from his elevated position. Whoever had thought to set the captain’s chair higher than the rest had known what he was doing. It gave him a psychological edge over his bridge crew.
The weeks since Halka had not changed that. Though his relationship with Spock had changed dramatically, he still maintained the facade of a ruthless commanding officer. Or, at least he tried.
Kirk stared at the planet that filled the front viewscreen. Planet 892-IV had never been properly surveyed. It was no more than a catalogue number, waiting to be accepted or rejected as worthy of the Empire’s “protection”. But the wreckage of the S. S. Beagle had been found nearby, and the Enterprise was here to find out what had happened to its crew, and if this insignificant world was a threat of any kind.
Normally, they would have gone in with weapons bristling. But after hearing of this planet’s almost identical physical properties to Terra, Kirk had decided on a more roundabout approach. He was “fascinated”, to borrow a phrase. How much like his homeworld would this place be?
Kirk glanced over his shoulder at his first officer. Spock was quietly speaking to his replacement and didn’t notice his captain’s perusal. Strange how much he enjoyed watching the Vulcan. It was too bad it wasn’t just the two of them beaming down. The security men weren’t really needed anymore. In another reality, he and his friend would have gone alone.
He shook his head and pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he swiveled his chair around to face his science officer. “Ready, Mr. Spock?”
The Vulcan turned and approached Kirk. “I still do not think it advisable for both of us to be gone from the ship at the same time. We have never done so before.”
“It will be okay. I trust Mr. Scott.”
Spock’s brow lifted. “That seems to be a strange failing you have picked up recently, Captain.”
Kirk eyed the Vulcan teasingly. “He says he doesn’t want command. Are you telling me I shouldn’t believe him?”
“I am merely wondering if you should. We will be gone for several days.”
“Farrell will keep on eye on things.” His top security man wasn’t too happy about being left behind. But since he really didn’t need him as long as Spock was around, it seemed best to keep him here where he could act as Kirk’s eyes and ears. “Besides, with the ship needed to ferry a bunch of diplomats, I’d rather spend my time here. Let Mr. Scott put up with them.”
“I still believe it would be better if one of us were to stay. The ship will be gone for ten days. And those same diplomats could be of great benefit to us. If you insist on going, Mr. Farrell would be more than happy to accompany you – ”
“The diplomats? Is that the reason you don’t want to go, Mr. Spock?” There was suddenly steel in Kirk’s voice.
Spock straightened and his voice pitched low. “You know it is not, and you know you have my loyalty. My concern is that you may not have another’s.”
Kirk gazed intently at his first officer before responding. “I know what I’m doing, Spock. You’re going to have to trust me on this one. Besides, I’m probably going to need your expertise down there.”
Spock stared back for a moment and then smiled almost imperceptibly. “As you wish. In any event, it should prove to be an interesting experience. I have heard much of your unique style in regards to landing party procedure.”
Kirk grinned as he rose from his chair. As they made their way to the turbolift it occurred to him that interesting was a word and a half for it.
[][][][][]
Twenty minutes later they materialized outside the city limits. Though now dressed in approximated native attire, they preferred to remain unnoticed. The surrounding area was semi-arid and the light shrub would make travel easy while screening them from anyone who might happen to be around. They planned on entering the metropolis around sundown and find shelter in whatever passed as an inn in this culture. They set off at an easy pace, Kirk and Spock in the lead, their two men a respectful ten paces behind.
“Why did you pick this city in particular, Captain?” Spock gazed off into the distance as towering spires slowly came into view.
“It’s approximately in the same location as Urbs Tumulorum.”
“Your birthplace,” Spock responded.
Kirk nodded. “It might help if we know the surrounding terrain. So far, it looks exactly the same. On Terra, if we traveled about two hundred and fifty kilometers in that direction,” he pointed off to the east, “we’d run into the Kirk compound.”
“Perhaps,” Spock took his tricorder out, and began sweeping the area, “but the level of pollution is much higher than on your planet. There may not be as many similarities as we first imagined.”
“Well, I don’t imagine running into myself out here, Mr. Spock,” Kirk teased.
Spock lifted an eyebrow but did not reply. No sense giving their respective guards any reason to wonder at their new affability. Instead, he returned to his study of the tricorder’s readout. This world might look like Terra, but it was on a much lower level of development. And the high readings of carbon monoxide and fluorocarbons gave a picture of a planet shackled to the use of fossil fuels. Kirk’s planet had thankfully only toyed with their use. The gods of Terra would never have stood for such degradation of their world.
It took them two hours before the four men found themselves walking through what was apparently some kind of suburb. Row after row of similarly built houses, doors shut and windows drawn closed, extended for several hundred meters.
“Every house is exactly the same.” Kirk’s gaze swung from one side of the street to the other.
“Not exactly, Captain. There are minute differences.”
“If you say so. How far do we still need to go?”
Spock pulled his cloak closer while covering his head with its hood as he scanned the road before him. Kirk had insisted on each bringing something for warmth, and for that Spock was grateful. The temperature had dropped fifteen point two degrees and he felt the cold. “There appears to be an establishment perhaps half a kilometer from here.”
“All right.” Kirk squared his shoulders and gathered his men with a nod. “Here’s hoping Research did their job and things go off without a hitch.”
The credit voucher created on the ship worked perfectly. Kirk’s request for quarters as far from the main traffic area as possible was met with gracious compliance and they were led to the building furthest away from the road. The second story suite was expansive, though not ostentatious. Two large bedrooms were separated by a living area, with a small kitchen off to one side and a balcony that swept the length of the quarters. Kirk had their supplies beamed down and the four men began setting up for their stay, Spock and his guard taking one room, Kirk and his taking the other.
[][][][][]
Spock heard the small sound behind him, and turned to see his captain joining him on the terrace.
“Can’t sleep.” Kirk stood beside him and propped his arms on the railing as he looked out on the city.
“It is not late on the ship. You have not had time to adjust to the difference.”
“It’s not just that. There’s something about this place... a feeling I have.”
Spock studied his captain. “Is this one of your ‘hunches’?"
“Maybe. It just doesn’t add up. These people don’t have the technology to bring down a spacecraft, yet the Beagle showed definite signs of damage.”
“You believe they may have had help.”
Kirk shrugged. “I don’t know. They’re well within the Orion’s sphere of influence.”
“The Orions have never made a habit of sharing their wealth, or the practices they use to acquire it,” Spock reminded him.
“Suppose these people don’t know what’s going on. The population is large enough, you said six billion, right? The Orions taking a few hundred thousand wouldn’t even make a dent. Especially where there isn’t a stable government in the area... which seems to be fairly common.”
“That is true. Lieutenant Uhura reported that there are several major civil wars, a continent-wide famine, several religious-based insurgencies and a recent colonial expansion by this world’s major power. Add to this a major degradation of their environment coupled with a mass extinction of species that would rival the outcome of a planet-wide catastrophe.”
Kirk looked at him, incredulous. “Their governments allow this?”
“Their governments encourage it.”
“Why?”
“That, I do not know. This planet would make an interesting study. In many ways an exact duplicate of Terra. Yet, in others...”
“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough. I was thinking we could split up in the morning. You and Stonn can head for the nearest library... they do have them, don’t they?” At Spock’s nod, he continued. “Maybe you can find something that’s not in their computer databases that might be of some help.”
“And you and Lieutenant Leslie?”
Kirk grinned. “Fastest way to loosen lips is with liquor. We’ll find a drinking establishment close to the government and financial district. With any luck, by this time tomorrow we’ll have our answers and we can kick back until the Enterprise returns.”
[][][][][]
This story was originally published in Legends 3 (Nov. 2003,) a K/S zine by MKASHEF Enterprises.
by Elise Madrid
“We live not in a single
universe, but in a vast and
rich multiverse.”
David Deutsh
Oxford theoretical physicist
Distinguished Fellow
British Computer Society
Spock glanced at the man striding ahead of him as they exited the transporter room. The captain was in the middle of one of his well-known rampages. The human had gone from overwhelming relief to a towering rage in a matter of moments.
Once the beam had released him, Kirk’s first steps off the transporter platform had brought him directly to his first officer. With a determined scowl he had grabbed Spock’s beard and given it a not-so-gentle tug. The scowl had then turned to a beaming smile.
“Gods, it’s good to be home,” Kirk shouted.
Everyone in the transporter room visibly relaxed. It wasn’t any of their fault that their captain and the rest of the landing party had ended up in another place, another universe. But it would do no good to tell Kirk that.
“I take it your experience was not a pleasant one.” Spock addressed himself to Kirk, but it was McCoy who answered.
“You’re damn right it wasn’t. We spent most of our time in the brig.” The doctor shook his head in disgust and walked away, muttering under his breath. “I need a drink.”
Kirk grinned. “And how did our counterparts like their accommodations here?”
Spock visibly tensed as the room grew quiet and all eyes came to rest on their captain.
Kirk noticed the change. His gaze slid around the room, seeming to mark the slow retreat of his crew and the slight cringe whenever he looked directly at anyone in particular. He gave an especially penetrating stare to Lieutenant Moreau but said nothing. Finally he swung back to Spock. “All right, Spock. Let’s have it. What in Hades happened while I was gone?”
Spock’s lips pressed into a tight line. He would have preferred them alone when Kirk was advised of the new situation. Apparently, that was not to be an option. So be it. “We were not aware that a transposition had taken place. Your counterparts,” his gaze took in Mr. Scott and Lieutenant Uhura, “were given free access to all parts of the ship.”
“What do you mean, you weren’t aware? How could you not be aware?”
“They gave no indication that they were other than what they appeared.” Spock folded his arms across his chest, as if barricading himself from his captain’s ire. “It was only after he rescinded the destruct order against the Halkans that I began to – ”
“He WHAT?” It was then that Kirk did what he had never done before. He grabbed Spock around the biceps, his fingers digging into the muscles beneath the blue satin. “You let him do that? On my ship?”
Spock was too surprised to pull away. Through the physical contact he was being bombarded by Kirk’s anger. “Captain, we thought we were following your orders.”
“My orders? Come off it, Mr. Spock. You should know me better than that by now. But how convenient for you if I should allow myself that huge a mistake. I imagine you’ve been contacted by the Council.”
“Yes. But there is still time to rectify the situation.”
“There better be. Damn it! How stupid are you people?” Suddenly, as if realizing who it was he was holding, Kirk let go with a shove that almost overbalanced his first officer. He turned and headed from the room. “Never mind. The rest of you get to your posts. Spock, you come with me. I want some answers and, Mister, they’d better be good.”
[][][][][]
Spock followed his captain in his customary half step behind as they made their way through the ship and, apparently, for Kirk’s cabin. That was a good sign. Only in his cabin would Kirk allow himself to be alone with someone. And, other than whatever woman happen to be sharing his bed at the moment, that privilege was reserved only for Spock. It implied to him that he still held a certain amount of Kirk’s trust, albeit an unspoken one. Spock wondered just how much of that unspoken trust would still be in place by the end of the day.
They entered the darkened room, leaving their security men in the corridor. As the door closed behind them Spock tried to unobtrusively examine his surroundings. Somewhere in this room was a weapon of vast power. What had that other Kirk said? A weapon that would make him invincible? What had the human seen? And would Moreau still be willing to tell Spock what it was and how to use it? Did he really want to know?
Kirk headed for the sleeping area and his bolero was off and his pants undone by the time he reached the dresser next to the sleeping area. “Pour yourself a drink... pour me one while you’re at it. I’m going to take a shower to wash away the stink of that place.”
“Was it truly that bad, Captain?” Spock picked up one of the flasks at the sideboard and poured them both a drink.
Kirk nodded as he balanced on one foot to remove his boot. “You wouldn’t believe it, Spock. I’ve never met a more pathetic bunch of people in my life. And your counterpart was the worst of the lot. I thought he was going to faint when I tried to have the Halkans destroyed.”
“At what point did they realize you were not who you seemed?”
The second boot hit the floor and Kirk bent over as he pushed his pants and briefs down and off in one forceful movement. He straightened and, bundling his clothes in a ball, shoved them down the laundry chute. “About thirty seconds after I got there. But your counterpart was looking at me like I’d grown a second head the moment I beamed aboard. It really was weird.” He grabbed his robe from the foot of the bed and shrugged into it, loosely tying the belt about his waist. “I’d almost swear he knew right then and there, before I’d said one word, that I wasn’t his captain.” Kirk frowned as he took the drink Spock brought to him. “It’s too bad I can’t say the same for you.”
With that parting shot, the human headed for a shower.
Spock went back to collect the bottle and his own glass and then took a seat at his captain’s desk to wait. This was only more of Kirk’s mental games. He would make Spock wait, “stew in his own juices”, before making him pay for every failure, imagined or not. At times, he felt a certain kinship with the human. They were both in positions of power, trying to stay alive without selling too much of their souls. But at others... Kirk was an enigma. Spock wasn’t sure what Kirk wanted from him. An ally, yes. But never more than that.
Yet there had been moments when the human had allowed him to see a tiny piece of what lay hidden behind the wall Kirk had built around himself. Though brief, they gave hints of the man no one really knew. A lonely man in need of what Spock didn’t know. An eyebrow went up in bemused realization that his captain had not asked what kind of impression his own counterpart had made.
Spock sobered instantly. Perhaps it was for the best. How did you tell someone that you had met the man he could have been? A man so in tune with who he was and what he wanted, that Spock had nearly been swayed by the force of his personality. No, best to forget that man, and all his wild dreams of a better world... and the brief glimpse Spock had caught of the life that Kirk shared with his own first officer.
The bathroom door slid open, followed by a cloud of steam that billowed out and then parted to release his slightly damp captain toweling his hair with one hand while holding the half empty drink in the other. After donning a clean uniform he walked over and took the seat behind the desk. “Okay, give.”
“I beg your pardon?” Spock would not go into this blind. He needed to know exactly what Kirk was after.
“Don’t play stupid, Spock. I want to know what happened. Everything that happened.” Kirk scowled and threw the towel on the floor. His hair was starting to curl about his face, giving him a boyish look. Spock knew he hated it.
“Very well.” His dissertation was long and involved as he attempted to impart all he knew of the event. Of course, he was not in possession of all the facts. Lieutenant Moreau would have to make her own peace with her lover. Still, there were some things best left unsaid. By the time he quieted, Kirk was somberly gazing into space, his crossed legs outstretched before him as he leaned back into the chair. The empty glass nestled against his chest was the only sign that he had moved at all during that time.
Finally the human stirred. He straightened and reached for the decanter Spock had placed on the desk. He filled his glass only half way. Spock’s he topped off with a grin. “After all that you deserve it. So, what do you think? You think Marlena will stick a knife in me one night?” He waved his hand when Spock started to respond. “Don’t say it. I know what I have to do. I’ll get her a transfer to some backwater station. That and a few threats should keep her quiet.”
“Threats, Captain?”
Kirk grinned sardonically. “They work if they’re the right ones... and if the person knows you’ll carry them out if you have to.” The smile left his face. “I can’t believe she was so willing to leave with him.”
“She was afraid. She had already helped him. And... he had been kind to her.”
“Marlena wouldn’t know ‘kind’ if it hit her over the head. She didn’t get where she is being kind, Spock. None of us did. No, there was more to it than that.” He gave his first officer a penetrating stare. “Did she show you where it is?”
Spock didn’t have to ask what “it” was. “No, there was no time. I was informed of its existence only seconds before the second transposition was to occur.”
“Am I going to have to kill you?”
The words were softly spoken and laced with regret. Yet Spock understood that his next words would mean the difference between life and death. “I will not deny that I found your counterpart’s words intriguing. There is much within the Empire I would see changed. But you are my captain and this is my universe. Whatever he sought to encourage would not stand against such realities. You need not fear disloyalty on my part.”
Kirk nodded. He picked up his glass and, with a flourish, slammed back the drink. Placing the empty goblet on the desk, he motioned to Spock to pick up his own. “Go ahead, Spock.”
He hesitated only a moment. But then downed the liquid in one swallow, his eyes never leaving his captain. Spock could feel the potent beverage heat his throat and settle in a molten pool in the pit of his stomach. His eyebrow went up in appreciation and in an unspoken question.
“A toast,” Kirk responded. “We’re both alive. And it looks like we’re both going to stay that way for awhile.”
[][][][][]
Later, in bed, Kirk struggled with the sleep that was usually quick to come. But he wasn’t used to sleeping alone. Marlena was not much more than a bed-warmer by now, but he found that, with her gone, the loneliness that had been his constant companion since his youth was harder to ignore. And thoughts that would have been better not to have wouldn’t leave him alone.
Spock. He hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision to spare the Vulcan. But he liked Spock. He really did. More, he trusted him; a commodity in rare supply in the life he had carved out for himself. He couldn’t afford to trust. But from the first he had trusted Spock. Kirk vividly remembered their first meeting. Pike wasn’t cold in his grave when Kirk had bullied his way onto the Enterprise, surprising, he was sure, the young lieutenant whose blade had been found firmly planted in the ship’s late captain. Surprising even more the cool and collected science officer who had met him and his bodyguard in the transporter room.
They had silently appraised each other for long moments. Kirk had seen a man who radiated intelligence and dignity. A man who knew what he wanted and had no qualms about going after it. What Spock saw only he knew. Kirk had heard it said that the Vulcan didn’t want the captaincy. Fine. But did he want Kirk as his captain?
Kirk ha d taken the chance of coming on board with only Farrell to back him up. The two men could have been easily overpowered, but Spock had seemed to come to a decision as he sized Kirk up. One elegant eyebrow had lifted at Kirk’s grin and with a nod their futures had been set. Spock had thrown in with him, and the ship had become his.
A year and a half later, they were still dancing around each other. Kirk sat up and shook his head in disgust. He rested his arms on his drawn-up knees and stared into the dark. Where did he and Spock go from here? Surely two grown men could come to some kind of understanding. Was it so wrong of him to want the Vulcan as a friend? Life was hard enough without the isolation his command had added. He didn’t want to spend the rest of the mission this way. He needed someone he could rely on, someone he could let his guard down with. None of the women who had come and gone from his bed had ever been able to win that from him.
He knew Spock would never make the first move. Kirk didn’t know much about his first officer’s past. The bits and pieces he had garnered over time had been hard won. What he did know was that Spock wanted desperately to be a man unto himself. Kirk had known other Vulcans. None had been so rigidly formal as his second-in-command, who insisted that he felt none of the emotions that plagued his mother’s people. Very well. It had taken a trip into another universe to make Kirk see just how much he needed Spock’s friendship. Now it was up to him to make Spock see how much he needed Kirk’s.
He slid back down to rest on his side and pulled one pillow close. Kirk felt better now. He always did after making a decision. He’d start his campaign tomorrow. Poor Spock wouldn’t know what hit him.
[][][][][]
Kirk unobtrusively watched the door to the mess hall as he ate his meal. He had gone out of his way to learn Spock’s schedule, and knew the Vulcan regularly took his lunch at this time. At that moment, just like clockwork, his first officer entered the room. Without a word, Spock’s man turned to collect his superior’s food.
“Mr. Spock, over here,” Kirk called. He noticed the slight hesitation before Spock turned from his original destination.
“Is there something I can do for you, Captain?” Spock cast a glance at Farrell, who was standing against the wall.
Kirk motioned the man off with a short wave of his hand. The large human moved far enough away that their conversation would go unheard, but not far enough that he wouldn’t be able to respond in case of an attack. “Go ahead, sit down.”
Spock took the seat across from Kirk.
To anyone else, the Vulcan’s posture would have screamed a casual forbearance. But Kirk had been watching Spock very carefully. He had learned much in the last weeks. Spock was curious. And Kirk’s recent behavior was driving him crazy. Kirk waited until Spock’s man brought his first officer’s lunch and, with a look from Spock, had moved off.
“What is that?” Kirk peered at the sick-green concoction in Spock’s bowl.
“Plomeek soup. It is a Vulcan dish.”
Kirk watched, fascinated, as Spock brought a spoonful of the soup to his mouth.
Spock’s hand stopped, the spoon inches from his face. “Captain?”
“Uh, sorry. It’s just that it looks awful.” He picked up his own sandwich and took a bite. He noted the look of amusement on Spock’s face and shrugged. It was a start.
They ate in silence at first. Kirk had heard it was a Vulcan tradition. It wasn’t bad, not really. He felt comfortable, and glancing up, he realized Spock did, too. After a while, he managed to throw out a question and their conversation started from there. Nothing too personal, just the normal topics one might bring up with a fellow officer. Kirk didn’t even see McCoy until it was too late.
“Well, what do we have here?” The doctor strolled up to their table.
“What is it, McCoy?” Kirk snapped. He could feel Spock’s shields go up from across the table.
The doctor’s gaze slid from one man to the other. “Nothing. I was just surprised to see you two at the same table. Never saw Spock deign to eat with one of us lowly humans, even if that human is the captain.”
Kirk saw Spock begin to rise and without thinking, reached out and grabbed the Vulcan’s arm. “No, stay where you are.”
The entire room went still as both men’s guards moved toward the table.
“Are you threatening me, Captain?” Spock’s voice was low, but his meaning was perfectly clear.
Kirk slowly let go and pulled his arm back. “No. Just... don’t go.” He gave a small shake of his head to Farrell who then returned to his former position.
Spock studied him intently for long moments before motioning his own man off.
Taking a deep breath, Kirk turned to McCoy. “Unless you have something of importance to say, Doctor, I’m right in the middle of a conference with Mr. Spock.”
McCoy had gone white, having almost ended up right in the middle of a confrontation between the two most powerful forces on the ship. Apparently, it was enough excitement for the day. “No, nothing that can’t wait; I’ll see you later, Captain.”
“The doctor is showing some of his little-used intelligence,” Spock intoned as both men watched McCoy grab a cup of coffee and head out the door.
“You mean he’s good at saving his own skin.” Kirk picked up his coffee and finished it off. “I should go. He won’t get off my back until he tests me again to make sure all the Venus drug Harry Mudd slipped me is out of my system.”
“Mr. Mudd is most fortunate the drug’s effects are relatively harmless. I would have been most displeased if your incapacitation had forced me to take permanent command of the ship.”
Kirk’s head jerked up. It was the closest the Vulcan would ever come to saying that he had been worried. But Kirk knew that was exactly what Spock was saying. It was written all over his face. “Why, Mr. Spock. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I do not wish command – ”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Kirk stood. “I’ll see you on the bridge.” He started to walk away, but then stopped and returned to the table. “Are you free tonight?”
“Free?” He’d taken Spock off guard again and the Vulcan looked totally confused.
“Free, you know, nothing to do.”
“I endeavor to always have something to do, Captain.” He hesitated. “But I have nothing pressing.”
“Good. Then I’ll expect you at nineteen hundred hours. I’ll have the chess board all set.” Kirk didn’t wait for an answer, but started for the door. As he left, he happened to glance back at his first officer. Spock looked like he had been phaser-stunned. With a smile, Kirk headed for sickbay.
[][][][][]
The lab was deserted as Spock scanned the day’s inputs from his office terminal. He preferred working here alone. The words that scrolled past on the computer screen were being taken in and stored for future consideration. But at the moment, Spock had more pressing things to think about. That he still lived was never far from his mind. The reason his captain had seen fit to spare him, even more so.
It was six weeks since the transference with that other universe. Six weeks since Kirk had, for whatever reason, decided their relationship would now take a new course. With Lieutenant Moreau gone, Kirk appeared to have found himself with plenty of time on his hands. So slowly and steadily, his captain had drawn him in, using his not-inconsiderable charm to bind Spock to him. There had been shared meals and chess matches that had lasted long into ship’s night. They had even taken to having deep conversations on the OD, the stars their only audience. Spock had found all this disturbing... and shockingly enticing.
Spock’s life on Vulcan had always been difficult. Other than his parents and she who was his chosen, there were none on that harsh planet he had ever felt a kinship with. It had made it easy to leave the security of his home and take on the challenges of serving the Empire. Among the humans he was alien; but it was an alienation of his own choosing. Having cut all ties to Vulcan, he had never thought to replace them with new ones.
The screen went blank and he removed the disc from the terminal to replace it with the last of the lot. The information continued to spill out even as he continued his musings.
Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been if he had remained, following in his father’s footsteps as diplomat and ambassador. Whether Vulcan desired it or not, the position would have been his. Tradition would have demanded it. But he truly could not see that for himself. His unwillingness to take that path had brought a painful parting that had severely tested his father’s control and frayed the tenuous link that bound Spock to she who would be his wife. T’Pring, no matter her regard for him, had not submitted to a full bond during his pon farr and would not until he returned home to stay. She was a deserving female; intelligent and loyal. But she had no wish to tie herself to a mate she saw but rarely. He could not give her offspring, and he often feared that she would ultimately find another.
This had been his existence before the transference. Why could it not have continued thus? He may not have been “happy”, as the humans named it. But he had been content. He had gained his captain’s trust. It had been all he desired. Now he had tasted the forbidden fruit of emotion and had no idea what to do with its consequences. Was this... relationship that had blossomed between him and his captain what humans called friendship?
He found that he felt concern whenever the volatile human placed himself in danger. The dull ache of anxiety would take up residence in his chest every time Kirk was injured. Very well. He... cared for his captain. Where did such feelings belong in the universe they inhabited?
Perhaps if he had not been so deep in thought, he would have heard the slight click as the door to the lab was locked; might have noticed the dimming of the lights. As it was, only when the head of security stood before him, phaser in hand, did Spock understand his danger.
“What is it you wish, Mr. Sulu?” he asked harshly.
The other man smirked, delighted in catching Spock unaware. “I think you know, Commander.”
“My death will bring you no closer to the captaincy. Captain Kirk will merely find himself another first officer.”
“Perhaps. But he’ll be more vulnerable with you gone. He’s gotten sloppy recently.”
Spock knew this to be true. It was as if, once Kirk had allowed his guard down to allow Spock in, he was unable to completely raise it again. He wasn’t the man he had been before the transference. Sulu’s continued existence proved that. “He spared your life, yet you still seek his.”
“There’s no room in the Empire for a captain who’s gone soft. If it isn’t me, it will be someone else. I’ll make it painless. He deserves that much.” Sulu tightened his grip on his weapon. “But enough about the captain. It’s your turn first.”
Spock slowly got to his feet. “My death will be avenged. And I find it unlikely that you could stave off all my operatives.”
“Who’s to know? You’ll just disappear. Poof.” Sulu splayed out the fingers of his free hand. “Tomorrow morning you just won’t show up for duty.”
“You do know that Vulcans are telepaths, do you not, Mr. Sulu?”
The man’s eyes narrowed. “You have to be in physical contact. And none of your men will ever get close enough to me to try.”
“There is one exception to that rule. A Vulcan’s chosen partner is in constant mental contact. She will know.”
“You don’t have a partner.”
Spock leaned back against the desk and folded his arms across his chest, pretending a nonchalance he didn’t feel. “I’m surprised at you, Lieutenant. You should have been more thorough in your research. If you had checked my personnel file, you would have known that I do indeed have a spouse. And T’Pring’s first act will be to notify my operatives of my death.”
“You’re lying.” Sulu stepped slightly closer and Spock took the only opportunity he knew he’d have. He kicked out with one foot, catching the smaller man’s calf and pulling his leg out from under him.
With a surprised yelp Sulu went down, but managed to hold on to his weapon. He scampered up, in hot pursuit as Spock raced out of the inner office to the room beyond and safety.
He almost made it. Not realizing that the door was locked, Spock lost precious moments trying to force it open. He managed to dive behind one of the lab tables as the beaker sitting on its top dissolved within the phaser’s beam. But unable to stop his forward momentum, he crashed into the wall, striking his head on its hard surface.
“You can’t get away, Mr. Spock.” The head of security slowly worked his way over to the light controls and brought the room into stark relief as the overheads blazed to their highest settings.
Spock rolled into a sitting position and cradled his bleeding head. Sulu’s boots came into his line of vision and he looked up into the determined face of his enemy.
The helmsman gave him a mocking smile, raised his phaser... and disappeared in a flash of white.
[][][][][]
“Come.” Kirk stood at his desk as he released the lock on his door. He knew it was Spock. The Vulcan who walked in, blood running freely from the gash on his forehead, looked shaken and on the verge of losing control. Spock walked slowly toward him and Kirk could see the question in the dark eyes before the words were even said.
“You saved my life. Why?”
“Do you really need to ask that?” Kirk sat down and motioned for Spock to do the same. After a moment’s hesitation, the Vulcan took the seat opposite his captain.
“I wish...”
Spock seemed to grope for words, the first time Kirk had ever seen him do that. “What? What do you wish?”
Pressing his lips together, Spock shuddered slightly and then straightened into the chair. “I wish to know what this is between us.”
Kirk leaned back to study his first officer. When he had turned on the Tantalus field and seen Sulu and Spock talking in Spock’s office, the stab of pain had caught him unaware. And for a moment he had raged at the betrayal he thought he saw there. But once the true situation revealed itself, he had not hesitated to push the button and snuff out the life of his traitorous security officer. And all for this man. This man who could not bring himself to name what it was they were to each other.
“Friends. We’re friends,” Kirk finally answered in a voice laced with sarcasm.
Spock almost cringed, but then brought imploring eyes up to meet Kirk’s gaze. “I do not ask this lightly. Nor do I mean to belittle what has grown between us. But there is much that is different between our worlds, Captain. For a Vulcan, there is no such thing as a casual acquaintance, a ‘friend’ that one picks up and puts down at ones leisure. The role of telepathy in our lives makes that impossible.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You say we are friends. But for a Vulcan that entails a closeness that is of the mind, a connection that binds like to like.”
Kirk leaned forward, intrigued. “Are you saying there’s something... mental between us?”
The Vulcan tilted his head in thought for a moment before answering with a surprised lift of his brow. “I believe so. We have always shared a rapport. But since your return from that other universe, and our escalating... dependence outside of duty hours, our minds seemed to have reached out to each other. Without knowing it, we have apparently made that connection.”
“Like you and T’Pring?” He almost bit his tongue trying to call the question back. But curiosity and an unexpected hurt had compelled Kirk to ask.
Spock almost smiled. “No, Captain. Not like me and T’Pring.”
“Who is she?”
“The closest analogy would be my fiancee.”
“Fiancee? Not wife? You told Sulu – ”
“No, not wife.”
Kirk saw the momentary flash of pain in the Vulcan’s eyes and wondered at it. Maybe someday Spock would tell him about her, but right now he had seen the unmistakable signs of a topic off limits. “Okay, not like yours and T’Pring’s. What then?”
“On Vulcan, there is a word left over from a time before logic ruled our lives; a barbaric era ruled by a warrior caste who spent their lives waging wars and who gave little thought to the mundane duties of home and hearth. Those closest to these men were their fellow warriors, the brothers they lived, and died, with. They were t’hy’la.”
“T’hy’la?” Kirk’s tongue tripped over the exotic word.
“Friend, brother, sometimes lover.”
“Oh, wait a minute, Spock – ”
“Sometimes, Captain. Not always. It was left to the discretion of the individuals. In any event, the word has survived. Though Vulcans now control their emotions, it would be illogical to deny what is. Two men, depending on each other for their very existence, create something larger than both. The link is a tangible manifestation of this most cherished bond. A mental connection that enhances the relationship between these two ‘friends’. Do you understand, Captain?”
“I think so.” He did understand. From the first there had been that indefinable rapport between them, as if each brought to the relationship something missing in the other. If this was the outcome, then he had done himself a great service by making sure the Vulcan had stayed at his side. He had never had a friend, not like this, anyway. He was so very glad that he had fought to win this one. “Do you think that’s what they are to each other?” he asked suddenly.
“Sir?” Spock shifted in his chair.
“Our counterparts. I remember thinking that that Spock was ready to do just about anything to get his captain back. It wasn’t anything he said, exactly,” Kirk tried to recapture the image of that beardless Spock, “but there was something...”
“I would say, yes, then. They were most certainly t’hy’la.”
Kirk frowned slightly at the rushed words, but didn’t pursue them. But the image they created held his thoughts, and he wondered what it must be like for them. His eyes clouded as he realized how it would have to be for him and Spock. “Spock, you realize we’ll never be able to let anyone know, don’t you?” He looked into eyes filled with the same regret.
“Yes, Captain. I am well aware of the danger that would place us both in.”
Kirk nodded his head. “Yeah.” He straightened and held his friend’s gaze. “’Jim.’ I want you to call me ‘Jim’ when we’re alone.”
Spock stared at him for a long moment and then dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Jim.”
[][][][][]
Kirk watched his people from his elevated position. Whoever had thought to set the captain’s chair higher than the rest had known what he was doing. It gave him a psychological edge over his bridge crew.
The weeks since Halka had not changed that. Though his relationship with Spock had changed dramatically, he still maintained the facade of a ruthless commanding officer. Or, at least he tried.
Kirk stared at the planet that filled the front viewscreen. Planet 892-IV had never been properly surveyed. It was no more than a catalogue number, waiting to be accepted or rejected as worthy of the Empire’s “protection”. But the wreckage of the S. S. Beagle had been found nearby, and the Enterprise was here to find out what had happened to its crew, and if this insignificant world was a threat of any kind.
Normally, they would have gone in with weapons bristling. But after hearing of this planet’s almost identical physical properties to Terra, Kirk had decided on a more roundabout approach. He was “fascinated”, to borrow a phrase. How much like his homeworld would this place be?
Kirk glanced over his shoulder at his first officer. Spock was quietly speaking to his replacement and didn’t notice his captain’s perusal. Strange how much he enjoyed watching the Vulcan. It was too bad it wasn’t just the two of them beaming down. The security men weren’t really needed anymore. In another reality, he and his friend would have gone alone.
He shook his head and pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he swiveled his chair around to face his science officer. “Ready, Mr. Spock?”
The Vulcan turned and approached Kirk. “I still do not think it advisable for both of us to be gone from the ship at the same time. We have never done so before.”
“It will be okay. I trust Mr. Scott.”
Spock’s brow lifted. “That seems to be a strange failing you have picked up recently, Captain.”
Kirk eyed the Vulcan teasingly. “He says he doesn’t want command. Are you telling me I shouldn’t believe him?”
“I am merely wondering if you should. We will be gone for several days.”
“Farrell will keep on eye on things.” His top security man wasn’t too happy about being left behind. But since he really didn’t need him as long as Spock was around, it seemed best to keep him here where he could act as Kirk’s eyes and ears. “Besides, with the ship needed to ferry a bunch of diplomats, I’d rather spend my time here. Let Mr. Scott put up with them.”
“I still believe it would be better if one of us were to stay. The ship will be gone for ten days. And those same diplomats could be of great benefit to us. If you insist on going, Mr. Farrell would be more than happy to accompany you – ”
“The diplomats? Is that the reason you don’t want to go, Mr. Spock?” There was suddenly steel in Kirk’s voice.
Spock straightened and his voice pitched low. “You know it is not, and you know you have my loyalty. My concern is that you may not have another’s.”
Kirk gazed intently at his first officer before responding. “I know what I’m doing, Spock. You’re going to have to trust me on this one. Besides, I’m probably going to need your expertise down there.”
Spock stared back for a moment and then smiled almost imperceptibly. “As you wish. In any event, it should prove to be an interesting experience. I have heard much of your unique style in regards to landing party procedure.”
Kirk grinned as he rose from his chair. As they made their way to the turbolift it occurred to him that interesting was a word and a half for it.
[][][][][]
Twenty minutes later they materialized outside the city limits. Though now dressed in approximated native attire, they preferred to remain unnoticed. The surrounding area was semi-arid and the light shrub would make travel easy while screening them from anyone who might happen to be around. They planned on entering the metropolis around sundown and find shelter in whatever passed as an inn in this culture. They set off at an easy pace, Kirk and Spock in the lead, their two men a respectful ten paces behind.
“Why did you pick this city in particular, Captain?” Spock gazed off into the distance as towering spires slowly came into view.
“It’s approximately in the same location as Urbs Tumulorum.”
“Your birthplace,” Spock responded.
Kirk nodded. “It might help if we know the surrounding terrain. So far, it looks exactly the same. On Terra, if we traveled about two hundred and fifty kilometers in that direction,” he pointed off to the east, “we’d run into the Kirk compound.”
“Perhaps,” Spock took his tricorder out, and began sweeping the area, “but the level of pollution is much higher than on your planet. There may not be as many similarities as we first imagined.”
“Well, I don’t imagine running into myself out here, Mr. Spock,” Kirk teased.
Spock lifted an eyebrow but did not reply. No sense giving their respective guards any reason to wonder at their new affability. Instead, he returned to his study of the tricorder’s readout. This world might look like Terra, but it was on a much lower level of development. And the high readings of carbon monoxide and fluorocarbons gave a picture of a planet shackled to the use of fossil fuels. Kirk’s planet had thankfully only toyed with their use. The gods of Terra would never have stood for such degradation of their world.
It took them two hours before the four men found themselves walking through what was apparently some kind of suburb. Row after row of similarly built houses, doors shut and windows drawn closed, extended for several hundred meters.
“Every house is exactly the same.” Kirk’s gaze swung from one side of the street to the other.
“Not exactly, Captain. There are minute differences.”
“If you say so. How far do we still need to go?”
Spock pulled his cloak closer while covering his head with its hood as he scanned the road before him. Kirk had insisted on each bringing something for warmth, and for that Spock was grateful. The temperature had dropped fifteen point two degrees and he felt the cold. “There appears to be an establishment perhaps half a kilometer from here.”
“All right.” Kirk squared his shoulders and gathered his men with a nod. “Here’s hoping Research did their job and things go off without a hitch.”
The credit voucher created on the ship worked perfectly. Kirk’s request for quarters as far from the main traffic area as possible was met with gracious compliance and they were led to the building furthest away from the road. The second story suite was expansive, though not ostentatious. Two large bedrooms were separated by a living area, with a small kitchen off to one side and a balcony that swept the length of the quarters. Kirk had their supplies beamed down and the four men began setting up for their stay, Spock and his guard taking one room, Kirk and his taking the other.
[][][][][]
Spock heard the small sound behind him, and turned to see his captain joining him on the terrace.
“Can’t sleep.” Kirk stood beside him and propped his arms on the railing as he looked out on the city.
“It is not late on the ship. You have not had time to adjust to the difference.”
“It’s not just that. There’s something about this place... a feeling I have.”
Spock studied his captain. “Is this one of your ‘hunches’?"
“Maybe. It just doesn’t add up. These people don’t have the technology to bring down a spacecraft, yet the Beagle showed definite signs of damage.”
“You believe they may have had help.”
Kirk shrugged. “I don’t know. They’re well within the Orion’s sphere of influence.”
“The Orions have never made a habit of sharing their wealth, or the practices they use to acquire it,” Spock reminded him.
“Suppose these people don’t know what’s going on. The population is large enough, you said six billion, right? The Orions taking a few hundred thousand wouldn’t even make a dent. Especially where there isn’t a stable government in the area... which seems to be fairly common.”
“That is true. Lieutenant Uhura reported that there are several major civil wars, a continent-wide famine, several religious-based insurgencies and a recent colonial expansion by this world’s major power. Add to this a major degradation of their environment coupled with a mass extinction of species that would rival the outcome of a planet-wide catastrophe.”
Kirk looked at him, incredulous. “Their governments allow this?”
“Their governments encourage it.”
“Why?”
“That, I do not know. This planet would make an interesting study. In many ways an exact duplicate of Terra. Yet, in others...”
“I suppose we’ll find out soon enough. I was thinking we could split up in the morning. You and Stonn can head for the nearest library... they do have them, don’t they?” At Spock’s nod, he continued. “Maybe you can find something that’s not in their computer databases that might be of some help.”
“And you and Lieutenant Leslie?”
Kirk grinned. “Fastest way to loosen lips is with liquor. We’ll find a drinking establishment close to the government and financial district. With any luck, by this time tomorrow we’ll have our answers and we can kick back until the Enterprise returns.”
[][][][][]
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-04-21 01:25 am (UTC)Sounds like a good idea to archive your stories here - that way you'll know they are on the net in at least one area.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-21 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 05:15 am (UTC)Would you mind if I posted the link to this site to my yahoo list? I'm always eager to share newly posted K/S fic. Thought I'd ask your permission first :-) :-)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 02:04 pm (UTC)You must have access to the fountain of youth...
Date: 2005-05-05 05:43 pm (UTC)I liked your story in FT 54 so I feel they must be worth the trouble, though.
Re: You must have access to the fountain of youth...
Date: 2005-05-05 06:12 pm (UTC)Hm, I guess since I don't read them there, how the stories look never occurred to me. I tweaked the colors some so you might want to try again. Actually, thanks for the heads-up because now that I took the time to figure it out, I'm changing the colors on the parts I can't read.
I liked your story in FT 54 so I feel they must be worth the trouble, though.
Thanks, I hope you enjoy this one as well.