Mirrors Pt 3 of 3 (K/S)

[gilda_elise]

Spock held tightly to the rock face, his arms trembling. The long day’s ride had sapped much of his waning strength and he hadn’t thought this climb possible when Skott had brought him here, sure that his brother and Jim would be at the caves above. Grabbing the next handhold, he pulled himself up, feeling as if he had been climbing for hours. Six more feet. Only six more feet to the top. He looked up, seeing Skott’s face peering down over the ledge, Skott’s arm reaching out to him.

“Come on, Spock. Just a few more feet.” Skott stretched out, reaching down as far as he dared.

Moving slowly, searching for another handhold, Spock continued his way up. He glanced down at his feet, perched precariously on the fragile rocks protruding from the mountainside. He could see the animals far below, grazing placidly. Don’t look down. He felt his muscles strain, each foot a lightyear’s distance.

“That’s it. You can make it,” The blond Vulcan continued his encouragement, urging on the man reaching the end of his endurance. Finally, close enough to the top, Spock stretched his fingers out and grasped Skott's hand. Putting everything they had into it, Spock was hauled up and onto the ledge.

Skott got to his feet and stared at the heaving man. Spock’s color was ashen, dark circles surrounding eyes heavy with fatigue. “The caves are just ahead.” He reached down and helped Spock up.

Slowly, they made their way through the brush that grew thickly about, until suddenly they were there, the cave appearing, as if by magic, ten feet away.

Spock swayed and fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. “Jim is not here.”

Skott ran in, almost tripping over the ancient artifacts scattered about like so much debris. Past the first fifteen feet the cave opened up to a chamber almost cathedral in its size and scope. But for all its majesty, it was devoid of life. He slumped against the wall.

“What is this place?” Spock stood at the chamber’s entrance. His demeanor could almost pass for detached, if not for the trembling that coursed through his body and the glazed look in his eyes.

“I don’t know. We found it years ago, J’han and I.” He straightened away from the wall. “I could have sworn they’d be here. I’m so sorry.”

Spock walked further into the cave, inspecting one item after the other. “There is a treasure of artifacts here, both archaeological and monetary. Why have you not reported it?”

“Why? So your government can take even more away from us? This is our land. We want to keep it.”

“I see your point.” He picked up a small statue, marveling at the detail. It was of two males. The taller held the other to him, pulling his head back in a loving kiss. Oddly, he was winged. The smaller man had long hair that covered his ears. He gingerly replaced it, afraid his shaking hands might lose their grip, destroying the priceless piece.

“S’aisha and Ka’arie.” Skott stood next to Spock, lightly touching the statue.

“Love and Soul?” Spock looked at the younger man, intrigued.

“A myth still told by my people. How love,” he ran his hand over the winged form, “captured the soul of Vulcan.” His hand caressed the second figure.

“It is beautiful. And did they stay together, always?”

Skott turned away. “For us, they did.”

Spock closed his eyes. Love had been banished by the precepts of Surak. Had Vulcan’s soul died, too? No, not for him. He opened his eyes again, and touched the forms, studying the two lovers. Truly, they had survived. His love for Jim was all the proof he needed. He sat down on a nearby slab of stone, his legs suddenly weakening.

Skott came over and sat next to him. “I think we better leave now. I know you feel bad but we have to keep going. There are other caves.”

“I am not sure if I am able to do so.” Spock studied the emotions playing over Skott’s face. “Do not sorrow so for me. I have been given a gift of unequal price. That I was allowed it for only a little time...”

“Don’t say that! You’re not going to die. I won’t let you.”

Spock almost smiled. “There is little you can do to prevent it.”

“You can’t accept anyone else, can you?”

“No. My bond to Jim is sure. There can be no other.”

“What does it feel like, being that close to someone?” Skott asked, tentatively.

Spock looked away, the pain of their separation harder to bear than the pain of his body. “It is like finding the other half of yourself.”

Skott pondered the words for a moment. “How can you tell? If it’s the right one, the right person for you?”

“You can tell. You feel it, all the way to the very center of your being.”

“And that’s what you felt, when you first met Jim?”

He turned back to the younger Vulcan, seeing a familiar need. “No, not at first. At first, all I saw was the youth and the beauty and the determined will. But slowly, he became necesssary to me, his quicksilver mind calling to mine. I found that his soul is even more beautiful than his body, his thoughts more ethereal than his face. And I knew that I would forever be his...whatever my fate.”

“You make it sound as if you expected to be parted from him.”

“That was my intent. I was not aware that he returned my love. This was to be our last time together. I was afraid that he would turn from me once he knew. I should have known better, known him better.” He bent over, gasping as the pain tore through his body. “There is little time left. You must leave.”

Skott stood up, grabbed Spock’s arm and hauled him to his feet. “No! You’re coming with me if I have to drag you all the way. They’ve got to be around here somewhere. There’s another series of caves, down the other trail at the crossroads. We’ll go there.” He threw Spock’s arm over his shoulder, dragging him out of the cave. “And if they’re not there, we’ll go on to the next. You’re going to live, damn you. You’re going to live!”

* * *

Kirk shot up with a gasp, clawing at the blanket wrapped about his body. He twisted and the sudden motion sent him tumbling off the bed as he tried to get his legs under him. His heart racing, he finally managed to stand up and stagger toward the entrance in a panic.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The noise had awakened J’han. He leapt up and grabbed at the fleeing human, easily holding him with his superior strength.

“I’ve got to get to Spock! He needs me, he needs me right now!” Kirk struggled in the Vulcan’s grip, mindlessly intent on getting to his bondmate. “Let me go!”

“You don’t even know where he is! Now settle down." J’han forced him back to the bed. Kirk’s struggles lessoned as reason asserted itself.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, but you’ve got to let me go to him. There’s something seriously wrong. I know it.” He flopped back on the bed and curled into himself. “I feel sick.”

“What’s the matter?” J’han felt the human’s sweat-slick forehead. Kirk was burning up, his skin blanched.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I have to find him, J’han. Please, you’ve got to help me.” He tried to rise from the bed, only to fall back as pain radiated down his back and groin.

“There’s nothing we can do right now. It’s dark out. We’d end up stumbling around out there, probably get lost or hurt.”

Kirk grabbed the front of the Vulcan’s shirt with both hands and pulled himself up. “Listen to me. We have to go. Right now, right away. Please, J’han.” He groaned, his head falling onto the Vulcan’s chest. “God, it hurts.” He hung on, fighting the pain. He had to conquer this. Spock needed him. The urgency was growing stronger, but his body rebelled against the force alien to its nature. It was tearing him apart.

“I’m sorry, Jim. We can’t, not now. Tomorrow, I promise. We’ll leave tomorrow.” J’han tried breaking his hold, but Kirk kept his fists clenched tightly around the material.

“Tomorrow...tomorrow’ll be to late. We have to go now...right now.” The words were coming out in broken gasps, as he weakened. Finally, he shuddered and let go as he was gently lowered back on the bed.

J’han watched the human’s labored breathing. Kirk’s eyes darted around the room as if looking for something lost. “What it is?”

“I...I feel strange. Something’s going on...inside of me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard to explain. I...I don’t know what it is. It’s like my mind and body are trying to separate.” He drew in a breath, shivering under the onslaught. “Maybe I’m dying...I don’t want to die. It’s just begun, I can’t lose it now.”

“You’re not going to die.”

“You don’t know that.” Kirk was almost angry. "Why now? Why did this have to happen now?” Oh, Spock. What will you do when I’m gone?

“Just rest. We’ll go find Spock in the morning.” He got up and removed Kirk’s shirt and pants, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Getting two more blankets and adding them to the first, he covered the quaking form, tucking them under him. He didn’t know what else to do. The human would moan intermittantly, his face grimaced in a rigor of pain. J’han slid down, sitting on the ground next to the bed. He grabbed a pillow and propped it behind him, taking his place for the long night ahead.

* * *

The journey down the mountain was a nightmare. Skott half dragged, half carried Spock back the way they had come, back to the cliff’s edge, their mounts, and the way out, fifty feet below. Without light, using only touch and the desperate need urging him on, he had made his way down, Spock draped over him, his arms tied together and slung around Skott’s neck. It took over two hours of heart-stopping slides, grabbing at anything in reach, and then bone-jarring stops, before he finally felt the solid ground beneath his feet. Dropping his burden, he only managed to undo the ropes about Spock’s forearms before falling into unconsciousness.

The first rays of light from the rising sun woke him, his body protesting as he dragged himself to a sitting position. Spock still lay where he had left him, his breathing shallow, the shivers passing through his prone body evidence of its growing imbalance. Skott had seen a man die during his time, his bondmate too far away to be reached. It had been a horrifying sight. He had come to think of Spock as a friend, and if it came to it, he would kill the Vulcan himself, rather than let him suffer through the throes of agony that was the plak tow in its final stages.

He crawled over and, after a moment's thought, proceeded to strip them both, trading his clothes for Spock's. Once dressed, he got his own loose trousers and tunic onto his unconscious companion, pulling him up and lifting him over his shoulders as he struggled to his feet. He managed to get him seated on one of the animals, grateful that neither had strayed during the night. He mounted up, and started back to the crossroads.

They had been riding for a couple of hours when he stopped to check on Spock. The older Vulcan was awake but his eyes were glazed and he seemed confused, not recognizing Skott for several seconds.

“I thought I was somewhere else,” Spock croaked, his voice dry and thin.

Skott unhooked a waterbag and lifted it up for Spock to drink. “We’ve been on the road awhile. We’ve got about a day's journey to the other caves and that’s if we don’t stop to rest. The mounts got plenty last night, so we might be able to make it.”

Spock drank very little, pulling away after only a few sips. “You are being overly optimistic.”

“Have you always been this way? Can’t you try to believe that we’ll find them, that everything’s going to work out?” He replaced the waterbag, reining in his animal to keep him at Spock's side.

“I see no logic in denying what is. I am nearing the latter stages. The odds are...very high that I will succumb before we reach the caves.” He looked down on himself, confused. "Why am I wearing this?"

“Because I'm counting on us making it. Those will be easier to get out of quickly." He smiled at Spock's blush. "I won’t deny that things could be better. But what’s the harm in hoping? I wonder if I would have been like you if I had stayed.”

“If you had stayed?” Spock tried to concentrate on the other man’s words. His vision was swimming in and out of focus, and he felt close to passing out.

“I lived in your world for almost ten years. I was miserable. They were always trying to pound that stuff into me. ‘You are not logical. You are too emotional,’” Skot mimicked.

“I do not understand. Why were you there?”

“My mother. She was like you. A ‘true’ Vulcan. When she had the chance, she went back to her world. Unfortunately, she decided to take me with her.” He looked at Spock. “You look better.”

“Conversation seems to aid my ability to think clearly. And the pain has receded...at least temporarily.” He paused. “What of your father?”

“He did what he could but it still took all that time for him to get me back. I think the only reason they finally let him have me is because my mother died. Those last three years...”

Spock could imagine. HIs own flight from Vulcan was in no small part precipitated by his own inability to give what his planet demanded of him. “It must have been extremely unpleasant.”

“It was. The only thing that kept me sane was Lara being there.”

"Lara? A human.”

“Yes. Her parents worked at the main hospital there, whose services I had a regular need for.”

Spock raised an eyebrow in question.

“I fought a lot. At least once every few days I’d have to make a trip down there. Anyway, one day, I must have been around eight or so, she was there, and we started talking. Just like that, like we’d known each other for years. After that, it became my second home. We spent all our free time together, doing the things that kids do at that age. Eventually...it became more. I think I’d never would have been able to fit back in here if it hadn’t been for her. She kept that part of me alive. Kept me from becoming like everyone around me. When they finally allowed my father to take me back...it was rough. Even now, I miss her.”

“Do you know what has become of her?”

Skott pondered for a minute. “I’m not sure. Somehow, I know she’s still here, on Vulcan, waiting for me. Is that crazy?”

“I do not know.” He quieted then, the brief conversation having taken all his effort. Who was he to say what was crazy or not? Would they not have called him that, if he had let known his own desire for a certain starship captain? And yet, he had somehow managed to win such a prize, to bond with a man many would give much to possess. If he survived, a large part would be on account of the young Vulcan who rode at his side. His last thought before consciousness again slipped away, was that he could do no less but try to find a way to give his young friend the happiness he so greatly deserved.

* * *

“Jim, wake up. Wake up!” J’han shook the human, trying to get a response, the vacant look frightening in its implications. Kirk’s eyes were dull and out of focus. “Jim!”

Slowly, he came to consciousness. “Spock?” Kirk's hand came up and touched J'han's hair, but pulled back as if stung at the first touch. “You’re not Spock.” He closed his eyes.

“Stop it! You’ve got to stay awake! Jim!” This wasn’t working, but he didn’t know what else to try. “Listen to me. If what I think is happening really is happening, you’ve got to stay awake.” J’han shook him again. “Jim, you’ll die if you don’t wake up!”

Determined, he hauled Kirk out of the bed and started walking him around the cave, hoping the cold morning air would help revive him. When that didn’t work, he picked him up, carried him outside and plunged them both into the icy stream running alongside the cave entrance.

With a gasp, Kirk came to, the shock to his system pulling him from the recesses of his mind. “Wha...what are you doing?” He clung to the Vulcan, trying to pull himself out of the water.

“I’m trying to save your life, so stop fighting me!” J’han shouted. After thoroughly soaking Kirk, he trudged out of the water, taking the now drenched human back to the bed.

Kirk, still disoriented, stood up and tried removing his wet briefs, only to have J’han come and yank them off him and then forcing him to sit. “Just sit there. I don’t want you falling asleep.”

“I’m cold.” Kirk shivered, clumsily trying to get the blankets around himself.

“No.” J’han grabbed the blanket, pulling it off the naked human. “The cold will help keep you awake.”

“I don’t want to stay awake.” He rolled over, laying down and curling into a fetal position.

“Stop it.” He pulled the resisting human back up. “If you fall asleep, you’re going to die.”

I’m not going to die. I’m going with Spock.” He batted at the hands holding him.

“You’re going to die. And if you die, Spock dies. Do you want that?”

“No. Spock’s not going to die. I...”

“Yes, he will. You have to stay aware or he’ll die.”

Kirk shook his head, trying to make his mind work. “He’ll die?”

“Yes. Both of you will.”

That seem to get through to the human. He clutched at J’han, fighting the pull of unconsciousness. “Keep me aware. Whatever you have to do. Just keep me awake.”

Kirk fought as hard as he could, and when he slumped into J’han’s arms he was picked up and carried out once again. This was obviously going to be an ongoing battle, one with life or death the ultimate prize. It was one battle J’ahn was determined to win.

The rest of the day past in a swirl of circling steps and icy water. It was getting harder and harder to force Kirk to consciousness, his awareness briefer and briefer. By nightfall, J’han was fast losing his own battle to stay awake, the constant activity and strain wearing him down. Staggering in from one more dunking, he dumped Kirk on the bed and stumbled to the floor, his strength gone. He didn’t even hear the human whisper the name of the one it was all for.

* * *

The sun was barely making the tops of the mountains when J’han opened his eyes. He was cold and stiff; the fire had burned itself out hours ago. Groggily, he rose to his feet. Memory came crashing down at the sight of the human on the bed, naked, curled up against the cold. Who knew how long Kirk had been asleep, several hours for sure. Tenderly, J’han straightened him out, covering him with the blankets and turning to start a fire.

It was all over now. There was no pulling Kirk back. J’han let fall the tears for the man he had come to admire and respect. There was nothing left to do but wait. Chances were, his brother was having to deal with the other side of this, watching the Vulcan prince die in the agony of an unconsummated pon farr.

Bringing the fire to a warming blaze, he took a seat at the table and sat watching Kirk’s chest slowly rise and fall. It was several moments before his consciousness picked up the sounds emanating from outside the cave. He bolted out, stunned to a halt at the entrance. Across the clearing he saw his brother maneuvering out of the brush, the prince slumped over the animal behind him, dressed in the robes of the Paki-Sular.

“Skott! Skott, over here!” He started running toward his brother, weak with relief.

“No, J’han, stay back!” Skott stopped halfway to the cave. He jumped off his mount and pulled the prince awkwardly to the ground.

“What’s the matter?” J’han started forward again.

“No! You have to stay away. Where’s Jim?”

“He’s inside. He’s unconscious, Skott.”

“Go back inside. If you can, undress him and then get out. Use the back entrance. For some reason Spock’s not seeing me as a rival but we’d better not press our luck. You’ve been around Jim all this time. Spock would probably try to kill you.”

“All right.” He started backing up and then bolted inside. Grabbing a few quick supplies, he checked Kirk and then ran out the back way.

Skott waited a few minutes, using the time to remove the tunic and pants from the semi-conscious Vulcan. Then, he started forward, holding Spock up with an arm around his waist, Spock’s arm draped across his shoulders.

“Come on, Spock. We’re almost there. We didn’t come all this way so the two of you could die, so you better wake up now.” He led Spock into the cave and started toward the bed where the human lay. They had gone only a few feet when Spock shuddered violently and fought his way into total consciousness.

“Wha...Jim?” He stumbled out of Skott’s arms, crawling the last few feet to Kirk’s side.

“T’hy’la?” Gently, Spock slid in next to his bondmate, taking him into his arms. Caressing the side of Kirk’s face, he settled his trembling hand into the meld position. “I am here, t’hy’la. I have come for you.”

Skott stood at the cave entrance, afraid to move, afraid to break the spell Spock was weaving, calling his bondmate back. When Kirk stirred and brought his hand up, cupping the back of the Vulcan’s head and pulling it down toward his, Skott silently walked out.

* * *

“It’s been two days. You think they’re almost done?” J’han turned to his brother as he lifted the waterbag out of the cold stream.

“Who knows? This whole thing hasn’t been like any pon farr I’ve ever heard of.” Skott shook out the bedroll before carefully rolling it up. “ It came on so fast. Maybe we’ll be lucky and it’ll burn itself out just as quickly.”

His younger brother laughed. “ I’ll bet they won’t consider it being lucky. They got pretty loud there for awhile. It’s a good thing you thought to strip the prince before you got him inside.”

Skott grinned. “You’re probably right. And I guess we shouldn’t begrudge them the time. After all, it’s our fault they were caught up here when it happened.”

Walking over to his brother, J’han settled a hand on his shoulder. “You aren’t to blame for any of this. They both could have died, and it would’ve been all my fault.”

Skott was quiet for a time before responding. “Maybe, but I think I should have known you’d try something. I was responsible for them.” He looked away. “Sometimes...”

“Sometimes what, Skott?” he asked, gently.

“Sometimes I wonder how I’ll ever manage being responsible for all our people. It isn’t something I ever really wanted. Our father...”

“Don’t live your life for him, big brother.” J’han squeezed the shoulder affectionately.

“I wish I could...just be what I want. It’s not all that simple, J’han.”

“Yes it is. Just do it. Go back to that town and find out if what you want is still there.” He grabbed his brother by the shoulders, bringing them face to face. “And then go and do whatever the two of you want, wherever that happens to be. You’re my brother and I love you, but I can’t stand the thought of you staying here when it’s making you miserable.”

“You wouldn’t miss me?” Skott teased.

“Sure I would, You know I would. But I’d know you were happy.”

The older Vulcan moved away to sit next to the fire built to drive off the morning chill. “Why does it have to be one or the other?”

J’han came over and knelt in front of Skott. “You know why. I thought I could change it, make them treat us like we’re worth something. But it all just blew up in our faces.”

“At least you tried, little brother. You always try.” He got up, poking at the fire, adding kindling to restart the blaze. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t what to go away. I don’t want to leave you or our father. I’ve lived out there. I don’t know if I could survive, knowing I could never come back here.”

J’han watched his brother, sad and angry at the way life had conspired to allow him only half an existence. Yet it seemed there was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to give Skott the life he deserved. Wearily, the younger man rose and began preparing their morning meal, determined, as he always was, to ease the load that his brother carried so valiantly.

* * *

Kirk snuggled back, enjoying the feel of the Vulcan’s cock nestled against his buttocks and sighed contentedly. So this was pon farr. He hadn’t had sex like this since he was seventeen. He’d lost count after their tenth time. Anyone who thought Vulcans didn’t have a clue about sex was crazy. Spock had been forceful, loving...and erotic as hell. If he was very lucky, Spock’s cycle would be like J’han’s father’s. He’d like that.

“What are you thinking?” The deep baritone purred in his ear.

Kirk turned, pulling his bondmate into a tight embrace. “You. I’m thinking about you. And about how wonderful you make me feel.” He laughed at the arched eyebrow, pulling Spock closer. “I love you so damn much, did you know that?”

Spock only smiled and then took Kirk’s mouth with his, the sweet kiss deepening into passion.

“Not over yet?” Kirk teased, his breathless voice laced with hope as he felt Spock’s hands settle on his ass.

“No, t’hy’la, it is over. But I will never stop desiring you. My need for you is truly quite extraordinary.” He turned onto his back, pulling Kirk on top of him.

“Hey, what’s this?” Kirk slid slowly up and back, the feel of Spock’s organ, hard and full against his stomach, bringing a like response from his own.

“What do you want it to be?” Spock spread his legs, an invitation.

“Spock?” He ran his hand through Spock’s slightly mussed hair, following the edge of one pointed ear with a fingertip.

“Is it not what you want?”

“Yes. God, yes.” Kirk spread Spock’s legs further apart, resting between them on his knees. “Are you sure about this?”

“I am yours, t’hy’la. As much as you are mine.”

“In other words, we’ll take turns.”

“I would not put it quite that way...”

“I was just kidding, Spock.” He trailed his hands up Spock’s thighs, over his belly, and on to his chest. “I love your chest hair. I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you without a shirt.” Playing with the soft splay of hair, he sought out the tiny nubs underneath.

“Truly?” Spock reached his hand out, skimming his fingertips over Kirk’s chest. “I believe I prefer your smoothness.”

Kirk laughed and then leaned forward to suckle a nipple, his arms going around Spock’s chest. He could feel the tip harden as he swirled his tongue over and around, lapping and sucking until Spock was arching under him, incoherent sounds of pleasure issuing from the Vulcan. Finally, with one last lick, he gave up his prize, moving up to kneel at Spock’s side.

Without a word, Spock rose up on one elbow, and wrapping his other arm around Kirk’s hips, pulled him close and took the human’s cock into his mouth.

“Oh, yes.” Kirk hands came down to entangle in Spock’s hair, holding the Vulcan’s head as his organ slid in and out, Spock’s lips wrapped tightly around it. He watched, mesmerized, as his lover sucked him, the hand around his hips spread wide on his ass, pushing him deeper into the wet heat.

“Oh...oh, Spock...please, love...don’t let me...” He gasped out the words, fighting the urge to let go, to spill his seed into the sweet fire of Spock’s mouth.

Slowly, Spock released the saliva slicked cock, his tongue flicking out to lick the drop of precum at its slit. Then he turned to lie face down, shoving a blanket under his hips and resting his head on his folded arms. “Now, Jim.”

Kirk stared, his heart beating wildly. He had dreamt of this, in the long hours of ship’s night, dreamt of burying himself in the heat of Spock’s body. But he had never imagined that Spock would want it, too. Moving down between the spread legs, he reached out, his touch almost reverent. He stroked Spock’s buttocks, spreading the muscled cheeks to seek out the puckered opening. “You are beautiful, did you know that?”

“Your love makes me so.”

“And I do love you, so very much.” He centered himself then, pushing slowly into the welcoming orifice. He felt the tip of his cock breach the anal ring, the muscles constricting tightly around him. He tensed and stopped at Spock’s low moan. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, yes. Don’t stop.” Spock braced his knees and pushed back on the prod entering him.

“You’re so tight. You’re so damn tight.” Kirk sank in an inch at a time, pulling back and then pushing himself deeper with each forward thrust until he felt his groin settle against the hot flesh. He froze, half out of his mind with the sight of his cock buried in Spock’s ass, the feel of that hot, moist channel enfolding him. It was good, so very good. And he wanted to stay here, like this, forever. Locked together with the other half of his soul.

“Jim, please, move!” Spock heaved himself up on his hands and knees and rocked back against him. The spell was broken, and with a cry of surrender Kirk began to move.

His hips took up a rhythm, snapping forward, sinking deep, then withdrawing almost all the way out, only to thrust back in. He leaned over, one hand holding on to Spock’s shoulder while wrapping the other around the Vulcan's straining cock.

Spock cried out, shivering with pleasure, pistoning back to meet the invading organ, and then forward to drive his cock into the milking hand. Faster, harder, their bodies pounding together, until with a strangled moan, Spock came, his semen spilling out into Kirk’s fist.

“Oh, god...oh, god.” It was too much. The tight clench of muscles on his cock, the slow ooze of semen through his fingers. Kirk lunged forward one last time and falling onto Spock’s back, released himself into the welcoming sheath. Jetting hard and deep, he clung to the strong body while he shuddered his climax, his head resting against Spock’s shoulder.

Spock slowly lowered his body, the two coming to rest as one. He reached back, taking hold of Kirk’s other hand. Bringing it to his mouth, he placed a kiss on the open palm.

“I love you, too.” Kirk snuggled against Spock’s back. “Are you comfortable with me up here like this? Not too heavy?”

“No, t’hy’la. It is most pleasurable.”

“I guess we should be getting up pretty soon, get cleaned up and let J’han and Skott know we’re all right.”

“I am sure they are quite aware of our continuing health.”

Kirk chuckled, his hand locking with Spock’s. “Probably. In that case, let’s just lie here for a few more minutes. We’ve got a long ride ahead of us.” He kissed the shoulder beneath him, and then yawning deeply, lay his head back down. They were both asleep within seconds.

* * *

“Come on, you two. Hurry up.” J’han grinned, throwing his brother a wink. They were making good time. They had left the mountains behind that morning, the oasis a welcoming sight on the horizon. By tomorrow evening, they would be home.

Skott turned to study the two men trailing behind them. ”I wonder if they’re that way because of pon farr or being so newly bonded.”

“You mean so...”

“Yeah.”

J’han thought a minute. “You know, Skott. I think it’s just them. They really aren’t acting any different than before. At least, Jim isn’t far as I can tell. It’s just...”

“A connection between them.”

“It’s more than that. Lots more.” J’han closed his eyes, liking the feel of the sun, warm and soothing on his skin. He had missed it in the colder clime of the mountains. In the quiet, he could hear drifts of Kirk and Spock’s indistinquishable conversation.

“Harmony.” Skott broke the silence.

“What?” J’han opened his eyes, turning to his brother.

“They creat harmony. Balance. I really admire Spock, the way he’s overcome everything, all he’s gone through. But I don’t think I really knew him until after he was back with Jim. Nothing changed, nothing I can name, anyway, but he’s a different person. Before, he was controlled, but a basically nice, even gentle, man. He still is. Yet with Jim, it’s like he’s found his soul...” He quieted, his voice trailing off.

“Skott? What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Yet, a look of deep concentration was etched on Skott’s face.

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

“I...I was just remembering the night you brought them to the house. It was there then. They couldn’t have been bonded for more than a couple of hours, but it was already there. Maybe, it always has been.”

J’han snorted. “You did try to tell me.” He gave the couple another long look before turning to face the fast-approaching oasis. “Do you think either of us will ever have someone like that?”

“We can only hope, little brother. We can only hope.”

* * *

Eight months later

“Jim?” Spock closed the front door, depositing the myriad letters and packages on the entry-hall table. “Jim?”

“I’m in here,” Kirk yelled out from the bedroom.

“Have they announced anything?” Spock sat next to his bondmate. Kirk was sitting on the edge of their bed, intently watching the vid screen.

“No. I don’t understand why it’s taking so long. Sarek said they were going to vote on it last week.” After an intense campaign, they had finally pushed Vulcan into a corner, forcing them to face the injustice done the Paki-Sular.

“The Vulcan Council is notorious for its inability to deliberate with any expediency.” Even Sarek had been unable to coerce that august body to move any more quickly to right an ancient wrong.

“It’s been almost eight months. How much time do they need?” Kirk turned off the screen. “I knew we should have stayed.”

“It would have done little good, Indeed, our presense served more as a distraction. Many on Vulcan were not pleased at our insistance on bringing the situation to light.” Their trip to Vulcan six weeks before had served a double purpose. They had wanted to see for themselves how well things were going, as well as visit the two brothers they now thought of as friends.

“Well, that’s the only way anything was going to be done about it.” Kirk rubbed at the back of his neck. He had never been very good at waiting. “So what took you so long? I thought you were only going in for a few hours.”

“There were questions regarding my modifications for the ship. I stayed long enough to insure that there would be no problems implementing them.”

Kirk shook his head, ruefully. “I’ll never understand how they thought something like that made any sense.”

“They did not have our hands-on experience regarding the use of phasers.” Spock remembered quite distinctly their horror at discovering that the designers had come up with a plan to increase phaser power by channelling it through the main engines. They had argued against it, pushing until it gave. Starfleet had been unable to hold against their combined onslaught.

“Yeah. They’ve obviously never been in a ship under attack with its engines gone. So, how soon will she be ready?”

“At the present rate, work will be completed in ten point three months.”

Kirk whistled. “That’ll be a record. I knew there was a reason I kept you around. You take such good care of my ship.” He leaned over and gave the Vulcan a quick kiss. “Anything else going on?”

“We have a package from Skott.”

“Really? Let’s go open it.” He grabbed Spock’s hand, pulling him from the room.

“It is in the foyer.” Spock retrieved it and joined Kirk on the living room sofa, placing the package on the coffee table.

Kirk eagerly began to pry the box open. “I didn’t know he was on Earth.”

“Nor did I. And with J’han professing not to know where he had gone...” Spock had not believed him. The two brothers were very close. It was inconceivable that Skott would not have told him his destination.

Kirk gave Spock a knowing look. “I didn’t believe him, either. He’s changed, a lot, but he’d still want to know where Skott was.”

“Indeed.” They had both been surprised by the changes in J’han. Gone was the wild, impulsive youth. His brother’s departure had sobered him, and the weight of his new responsiblities as his father’s heir-apparent had forced him to grow up.

“I wonder if he ever looked for that girl. The one from Uzhau’kahr.” Kirk finally got the top off and began to pull the packing out, haphazardly.

“T’hy’la...”

“I’ll pick it up later.”

Spock sighed. It was a side of Kirk he had not got used to...but would not change for the world. “Before we left Vulcan, I did, in fact, check the immigration data bank. Lara was no longer on Vulcan. She had left only three weeks before our arrival...a time that coincides with Skott's departure.”

“You think they’re together, don’t you?”

“Yes. It is my belief that they have been bonded for many years.”

“Why, because you didn’t see him as a threat during pon farr?”

“In part. But also because he remained faithful to her over all the years of their separation.”

“You know, J’han said that Skott would know where she was.” Kirk reached into the box with both hands, lifting out the object inside. At Spock’s indrawn breath, he looked up into the stunned face of his bondmate. “Spock?”

“Jim...” Spock lovingly took the statue from Kirk’s hands, carefully placing it on the table before them.

Kirk peered closely at the two figures captured in stone. It’s beautiful, Spock. Who are they?”

“S’aisha and Ka’arie. Love and the soul of Vulcan.”

Kirk turned at the wonder he heard in Spock’s voice, studying his bondmate intently. “Does this mean something to you?”

Spock’s gaze was locked on the statue. “In a way. In the depth of my despair, they brought comfort.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It is of no import, t’hy’la. But I am puzzled as to why Skott would send it to us.”

Kirk looked back inside the box. “There’s a letter in here.” He handed the sealed envelope to Spock.

He took the letter but continued to stare at the statue. “It is extremely valuable. Surely, he did mean for us to have this.”

“Come on, Spock, open the letter.”

Spock carefully unsealed the envelope, unfolding the note inside. “It is to both of us.”

“What’s it say?” Kirk leaned eagerly over, trying to make out the note.

Spock began to read.

My Dear Friends,
I wanted you both to have this. I think you will appreciate it more than anyone else ever could because it embodies all I saw between you. Or maybe, it’s the other way around. I’m not sure. But also, because of the news I received last night. The Vulcan Council has voted to release my people from the original agreement. We are free.

“The vote’s in? How did he find out before we did?” Kirk asked, indignantly.

“I do not know but I am inclined to think that his information is correct.”

“We’ll figure it out later. Go on with the letter.”

Spock continued.

I never told you the legend behind the statue. The story goes that my people were dying out because love had been taken from them, locked away where none could ever retrieve it, for it resided in the heart of Vulcan’s winged god of knowledge. But their bravest warrior took it upon himself to try and save his people. He would challenge the god, and in killing him, release the stolen love. Instead, when the god saw the fair young warrior, he fell instantly in love with him, and willingly gave all that was locked inside, and by doing so captured the warrior's soul. They became one. I believe they are together, still.
I finally know what that kind of love is like, though I had to leave my people to find it. I have missed my family, J’han most of all. He understands, and he will be a better leader than I ever would have been. But now, because of your help, I can return home if I wish. It will be good to see my brother again.
Live long and prosper, Spock, Jim. May the gods be with you.

Skott

Spock cleared his throat, looking again to the statue. “We will keep it.”

“Yes, because he’s right.” Kirk leaned forward, brushing the figures with his fingertips and then rose and turned to Spock, his hand outstretched.

Without a word, Spock stood and, taking Kirk's hand, followed him into the bedroom.




Finis

Comments

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

Oh my god - how much I loved this story!!! Absolutely and utterly loved it.

I've just spent a wonderful lonesome holiday in England (after attending the wonderful Closet Con where your name was mentioned with warmth and kindness) and I've read so much...incredibly much. And this story I really really loved.

The "mirroring" charakters which immediately reacjed my heart, the deep and so well captured tension Spock felt at the beginning, the steadyfest affection and togetherness Kirk and Spock felt (and we readers), the exciting story line and this magnificent K/S feeling all together - such a pleasure to read!!

Thank you very much for writing this, dear.
Kindly,
T'Racionn

PS: I received my copy of "Future imperfect" today and I'm sooooo excited. I like the cover so much and I'm sure I will like the story as well :)
Did you chose the cover or was it drawn for this zine?

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Oh my god - how much I loved this story!!! Absolutely and utterly loved it.

Thank you, that's so very wonderful to hear!

I've just spent a wonderful lonesome holiday in England (after attending the wonderful Closet Con where your name was mentioned with warmth and kindness) and I've read so much...incredibly much. And this story I really really loved.

I envy you spending time in England. I was there a couple of weeks ago and miss it already. I attended Closet Con four years ago and loved it, so I'm not surprised you had such a great time. I would have loved to attend this, the last one. My dear friend, Anne, was there and I remember many of the other people with great fondness.

The "mirroring" charakters which immediately reacjed my heart, the deep and so well captured tension Spock felt at the beginning, the steadyfest affection and togetherness Kirk and Spock felt (and we readers), the exciting story line and this magnificent K/S feeling all together - such a pleasure to read!!

Ooh, I love that the 'mirroring' characters affected you, though you'd be surprised how few people understood the reference in the title. *g* If you'd care to see what they look like 'unVulcanized,' here they are. They're from another fandom of mine.



As far as Kirk and Spock go, I could never see them as anything but together. That's where they belong. :-)

Thank you very much for writing this, dear.
Kindly,
T'Racionn

You are so welcome. And thank you for the really wonderful comments!

PS: I received my copy of "Future imperfect" today and I'm sooooo excited. I like the cover so much and I'm sure I will like the story as well :)

I certainly hope so. :-)

Did you chose the cover or was it drawn for this zine?

It was drawn for the zine, though I didn't give her a specific scene or scenario to go by as I did for the interior illo. She read the story and came up with an idea and there you are. Lorraine is such a great artist, isn't she?

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome!

Ooh, I love that the 'mirroring' characters affected you, though you'd be surprised how few people understood the reference in the title. *g*
Really? I first thought it might be a Mirrorverse story but as soon as this was discarded and as the story went on I understood it clearly - and you've done it very well. As I said, the two (half) brothers creeped into my heart quite easily :)

If you'd care to see what they look like 'unVulcanized,' here they are. They're from another fandom of mine.
Ah - that's interesting. I think I can sense who is who but what show is this?

As far as Kirk and Spock go, I could never see them as anything but together. That's where they belong. :-)
Absolutely! Always have been, always will.

So she drew it for the zine - wow. That must feel great and yes, she is a wonderful artist!

Closet was great and I might attend KiScon next year. Maybe you'll be there too?! That'd be fantastic.

Take care,
T'Racionn

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Ah - that's interesting. I think I can sense who is who but what show is this?

Lancer. It was a Western series that played in the late 60's. About the time of Star Trek, actually. :-)

http://www.tvwestern.com/index.html

So she drew it for the zine - wow. That must feel great and yes, she is a wonderful artist!

I met her at a Pros convention a few years back and found her to be a delightful person. When I knew I was going to be writing a novel, I knew I was going to ask her to do the artwork.

Closet was great and I might attend KiScon next year. Maybe you'll be there too?! That'd be fantastic.

No, I won't be attending KiSCon next year. From what I'm seeing, it's going to be too split with the Reboot for my tastes. It's a lot of money to spend to get what would be, for me, half a con. Plus it's going to be too close to Shore Leave. And while I've always enjoyed the KiSCons I've been to, somehow Shore Leave as always felt more like 'home,' if that makes any sense. You might think of trying for that. It's in Baltimore, so quite a bit closer. :-)

http://shore-leave.com/

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Yes, the reboot thing I'm not happy with either and that's the one point that still makes me doubting to go there.

May I ask you somthing more about Shore Leave? I saw the website and I got some infos there but will there be zines to buy? Is Star Trek or K/S one of the main themes? And do you think Kathy is usually there?

Sorry about bothering you with the questions but it might be indeed an alternative and I'd love to hear more about it.

Thank you so much!!

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

May I ask you somthing more about Shore Leave? I saw the website and I got some infos there but will there be zines to buy?

Oh, most definitely. If Robin has a new zine, she'll have a table for it and many of her back issues. Mysti goes with tons of zines. And Kathy Sands always has a huge set-up with hundreds of used zines from dozens of fandoms. Often, there are also room sales, where people who are selling their own personal zines and fandom stuff. They set up in their rooms rather than buy a table in the dealers' room. And there are two dealers' rooms, with more dealers in the hallways.

Is Star Trek or K/S one of the main themes?

Most of the time there's at least one actor from one of the Trek series. And there's always two slash panels, one K/S, the other slash in general. And of course, K/Sers get together all the time, in room parties or when we all go out to eat. Or just to hang out.

And do you think Kathy is usually there?

Kathy is always there. She puts on the K/S Press party on Friday night where we get together to talk, eat, and bid on artwork (there's always an art auction.) Afterwards, they usually put on vids to watch. Kathy also has a table in the dealers' room.

Sorry about bothering you with the questions but it might be indeed an alternative and I'd love to hear more about it.

I really do enjoy it more. There's more to do, especially if you're into other fandoms. Yet, at the same time, it's not as hectic, because you don't have to be doing something all the time. You can just walk around the dealers' rooms or take off to someone's room for a chat. It's not as structured as KiSCon, where there's one thing (but only one thing,) going on all the time. You sort of feel like you have to go or you'll miss out.

Shore Leave is obviously bigger than any K/S con can be, but at the same time it's small enough to feel homey and personal. And it's fan run.

Thank you so much!!

You're very welcome. :-)