Waiting For Night To End - Pt 2 of 2 (K/S)

[gilda_elise]

Spock felt the shudder run through the ship before the lights on his panel began flashing. He dropped into sub-light, all the while scanning the readouts for some clue as to the problem.

He’d been lucky so far. After over a week of travel, this was the first time he’d had trouble of any consequence. He’d traversed the Beta Quadrant, flying from Romulus to Verdian III at a breakneck speed; and back again, as he made his way to Vulcan. From Vulcan, he’d taken a ninety-degree course change that would take him out of the Federation. He’d recently passed the Delta Triangle and was reaching the end of charted space.

Several systems were going off line, and the lights flickered a moment. The craft shuddered again, harder this time, and veered slightly off course. He compensated for the change while continuing to trace the malfunction.

After several minutes, he finally narrowed it down to a faulty relay controlling the manifolds to the warp coil. Replacing the relay was easy enough, but he’d have to land in order to make sure there hadn’t been any permanent damage. Once the ship settled down, Spock started a search for a suitable planet to put down on.

He found it, tucked away from the myriad power structures that held this part of space. With no intelligent life, its thick vegetation and abundant water would prove an ideal setting for spending his last night in this existence.

The first suitable landing site was situated along the edge of a forest. With the shuttle nestled in a lush meadow, the trees acting as a windbreak, Spock was able to do a thorough check of the ship’s exterior. The planet’s moon had just crested the horizon when he reentered the shuttle and closed its door behind him.

His sleep that night was disturbed for the first time since starting along this path. Would Kirk understand? And if he did not, could he at least forgive? In his rush to do this, Spock had pushed aside such uncomfortable thoughts. He was fighting to regain who he had been, to eradicate the anger that had ruled his life for so long. Would he end up sacrificing love?

Kirk had never liked Spock’s research into the project that had been Kirk’s son’s downfall, and was unnerved by the hold it had on his bondmate. Spock’s avowal never to use it had been the one thing that had eased Kirk’s mind.

Spock turned on his side and tried to shut out the voice of his lover. Destructive? Yes, and could never be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. But it was not as if anyone would ever know. And the device had already been built. The only way to destroy it now was to use it. He had already erased all knowledge of it from the computer. He hadn’t dared leave it on Vulcan. Eventually, after enough years had passed, a family member would have breached the walls of the estate and found his work. That he could not allow.

Kirk had once called it an abomination. Perhaps. But if that were so, then so was Spock. He lived because of it. He would live again because of it. There was no other way for him, for mere existence was no longer an option. If Kirk had never returned, Spock was sure that, in not too many more years, the rage inside would have eaten away at what was left of his heart. A cold husk is all that would have remained of the man he had been. He could not return to that; he would not.

No, Spock sat up and crossed his arms on his drawn up knees; he felt no qualms in what he planned to do. He would take the condemnation. It would be worth the price.

He threw the blanket aside and walked resolutely to the controls of the ship. He punched in his flight path and started the engines. There was no reason to delay. It would be done now.

The planetoid he had chosen was less than an hour away. Spock used the time to dress and double-check the controls on the device. He had to consciously damp down his excitement. Once ignited, it would take several hours before he could place the tube housing Kirk’s body on the newly sculpted planet. How appropriate that Picard had offered him the use of a photon case to carry Kirk back to Vulcan.

He reached his destination and entered into a shallow orbit. His ship no longer possessed any means of delivering the device other than by placing it directly on the surface. Spock had removed the photons and disengaged the weapon’s system, though had decided on keeping the phaser array, when he had first acquired the ship. And since the planetoid was pockmarked with craters, it took time to find a decent landing area. His perseverance paid off when he managed to settle the ship on a small plateau that rose above the battered surface. With a noticable bump, the craft alighted.

Spock wasted no time. Though he could not fire the casing out, he could still release the tube’s opening. Its cover swung slowly open and the cargo gently slid onto the barren surface. Ninety years of work now sat on the airless planetoid, yet what Spock felt was mostly relief. After today, he would have no need to think of it again.

Once more in space, he set the controls. Being released on a solid object, the waves of energy would be absorbed as it did its work. There was no need to be light-years away. He settled in an orbit two point seven AUs from the planetoid and started the sequence of the Genesis device.

**********




It was beautiful. He had watched the recording of the original detonation as the Mutara Nebula had coalesced into the Genesis planet, and thought it wondrous. The slow evolution of life had been painstakingly set down. In fits and starts, diverse climates had grown, fought for supremacy, and then collapsed. But this, this was the way the Marcuses had meant it to be. The barren planetoid, its sun in the last stages of life, had been reborn in a smooth flow of unbridled proliferation. It was unfortunate that its fecund surface would last only a short time; just long enough for his purposes.

It had taken two days, but as soon as the Genesis effect had fully overtaken the planet, Spock had landed the shuttle in a sheltered valley. He didn’t want to take the chance of the newly regenerated Kirk wandering off. The tube encasing his lover’s body now lay in the tall grass, though easily spotted from the windows of the shuttle. Now all Spock had to do was wait.

According to the notes Saavik had given him, Kirk’s body would take at least twenty standard hours to regenerate into its infantile state. At that point, he would have to be carefully monitored. The planet would not have much time left. There could be no margin for error. If Spock were to lose sight of his lover, all could be lost.

He passed the hours of night in silent meditation. Just before dawn, he approached the casing. The lid was still closed. His hand trembled as Spock hesitantly opened it.

He gasped. The young child within was awake, his eyes open. He stared at Spock with idle curiosity...and he was beautiful. Golden hair surrounded the perfectly formed face. Kirk’s eyes, large and expressive as an adult, dominated the child’s visage. And the body was small, no more than that of a four year old.

With gentle care, Spock lifted the child out of its supposed casket and carried him into the shuttle. He placed him on the bed and pulled the blanket up to cover the naked form. Kirk did not resist, and seemed willing enough to merely observe as Spock locked the ship up tight.

This would be the most difficult part. Saavik had informed him that he had suffered a great deal of pain as his body stretched and grew into adult form. He would have to watch as Kirk went through the same process. As far as Spock knew, there was no way to alleviate the pain. It could be dangerous to even try.

The first metamorphosis began within the hour. The small boy began to make sounds of distress. Confusion shone from the wide eyes as his body appeared to take on a life of its own. Spock hurried to his side and held him in his arms, trying to still the wild movements as the young Kirk cried out in agony. It seemed to go on forever, yet in reality only a few minutes would pass before the human in his arms slumped against his chest, exhausted.

With trepidation, Spock lowered the boy back onto the bed. It was still a boy, but one that now looked to be eight or nine years old.

It would happen again and again, almost like clockwork. Each stage would be more painful, wracking the terrified human. And each time Spock found it harder to restrain the rapidly growing male. This time, as the last throes of pain shuddered through him, Kirk lashed out, striking Spock on the face.

The pain that radiated from the site of the blow caused Spock to release his hold. Kirk fell unconscious onto the bed, Spock in an ungraceful heap on the floor. It felt like his jaw had been broken. He brought his hand up to his face. It was wet. Puzzled, he drew back his hand and found it slick with blood.

**********

It had been folly to believe fate could be circumvented; madness to think they would finally be allowed a full and long life together. Spock watched the sleeping form and felt only sorrow; for Kirk, who would now have to deal with the lonliness and isolation that had been Spock’s lot for the last eighty years. And for himself, for the lost happiness that was now slipping though his grasp. Even his rage had abandoned him.

He stood and returned to the mirror. He didn’t understand why he continued to do so. His eyes could only verify what his body so readily proclaimed. He was dying.

How could he have overlooked this fatal flaw in his plans? Tied to the Genesis effect by his own rebirth, his re-exposure to its power had set off a change in his own body as well. His skin looked like onion paper and sloughed off at a touch. His hair was falling out in clumps and his entire body burned. Movement was becoming painful.

Spock slowly approached the bed and sat next to the human. Kirk looked slightly younger than he had when Spock first met him. And the further they traveled from the Genesis planet, the less he seemed to change. Unfortunately, Spock could not say the same for himself. All he asked at this point was to make it back to the planet he had left days before. If he could do that, all would not be lost.

As soon as he had realized what was happening, Spock had immediately powered up the shuttle and they had left the Genesis planet. That had been fifty minutes ago, yet the speed at which his body was deteriorating made the last ten minutes to their destination seem like an eternity.

With a shaking hand, Spock touched Kirk’s face. This new body would soon house his t’hy’la’s indomitable spirit. Kirk would live once more. As soon as they landed, Spock would release his lover’s katra back to him. It would be his dying gift to the man who had made his life worth living.

What would Kirk think? What would he do with this new life? Would he return to the Federation and a hero’s welcome? Or would he shun reminders of his former life? Please, whatever he does, let him forgive me for leaving him once again.

They had spoken only once of Spock’s flight from his lover’s side at the end of the first five-year mission. It wasn’t something either cared to dwell upon. But what had stood out during the cathartic discourse that had followed their reconciliation was Kirk’s anger; an anger which had taken many months to cool. It had been difficult, once more together yet with the knot of rage that ate at Kirk still between them. Time, and Spock’s constant reinforcement of his love and commitment, had finally melted it away.

Yet, every so often over the years it reared its ugly head, whenever Kirk had cause to suspect Spock’s loyalty or continued respect. The Khitomer affair had been a prime example. And however illogical it would be to blame Spock for his own death, he understood humans enough to realize that logic rarely held sway in this regard. All Kirk might see was that Spock had left him once again.

Spock heard the quiet tone signaling their arrival and, with a last caress, rose and walked back to the controls. He sat down and began preparations for landing as the ship began its descent.

It was a simple maneuver that brought them gracefully to the surface and to a gentle landing in a wide meadow. But Spock could barely see as he stumbled from the pilot’s chair in an attempt to reach Kirk’s side. His eyes had clouded over and he had barely brought them down in time. That they were on the night side of the planet only made things worse. Spock felt his way across the cabin and into the bedroom until his hands lit upon the human’s body. He stretched out next to him on the bed and positioned his fingers on Kirk’s face, seeking out the meld points. His last thought was how lonely it felt as his lover’s consciousness flowed away from him and to its rightful place. Then there was only darkness.

**********

Kirk opened his eyes. A hand lay limp and motionless on his face. He pushed it aside and
sat up.

“Spock?” The body lying next to him was his lover. Of that, he was sure. Though the Vulcan’s face and hands were marred with dried blood, Kirk recognized the features below. What he wasn’t sure of was how he had gotten here. And how had Spock come to be with him?

“Spock?” He came up on his knees and leaned down to shake the still form. “Spock, wake up.” The lack of response galvanized him, and he grabbed the Vulcan’s shoulders and hauled him to a seated position. “Spock!”

The head fell listlessly forward and flakes of skin drizzled down around them. With desperation borne of fear, Kirk hauled back and backhanded his lover. “Damn it, Spock! Wake up!”

With a jerk, Spock’s body finally responded. He gasped and strained to take in a lungful of air.

“That’s it, lover. Keep breathing.” Kirk felt almost lightheaded with relief.

“Jim?” Spock’s eyes slowly opened, amazement quickly replacing the obvious happiness. “I can see.”

“Of course, you can see.” Kirk peered at the Vulcan. “You look different.”

Spock bought his hand to his face and wiped at the crust of skin and dried blood. It fell easily away. “Older, perhaps?”

“No, younger.”

“Younger?” Spock quickly rose, leaving a perplexed Kirk. He approached the mirror and stood there for long minutes.

Realizing no explanation would be forthcoming, Kirk crawled off the bed and walked over to Spock’s side.

The Vulcan was slowly carding his fingers through his thick, black cap of hair. “I do not understand.”

“You look so young,” Kirk responded, awed at the change. Spock looked as young as when they first had become lovers.

Spock smiled and finally looked at Kirk. “As do you.”

“What?” Kirk frowned and pushed Spock aside to place himself directly in front of the mirror. His eyes widened. He was young! It could be the day he had taken command of the Enterprise. He ran his hands down his body. Firm muscles and smooth skin met his touch. He pulled his gaze away from the image before him and looked at Spock. “You need to tell me what the hell is going on.”

“I am not totally sure.” Spock took Kirk’s arm and led him back to the bed. “Sit. It is a very long story.”

“Okay,” Kirk agreed as he scooted back against the wall. “But only if you remove your clothes. It’s not fair, me sitting here in the all-together while you’re covered up. I want to see you, all of you.”

Without answering, Spock quickly removed his garments and took his place on the bed. He did manage to drape a blanket over his shoulders, though he stretched his long legs out in front of Kirk. With a grin, Kirk moved over to sit next to him and entrapped Spock’s legs with his own. “Much better. All right, start from the beginning.”

“What do you last remember?” Spock asked.

Kirk thought a moment and the humor went out of his eyes. “Dying. I remember dying.”

“On Veridian III. Is that your last memory?” Spock spoke in quiet tones, as if wary of Kirk’s reaction.

“I...I seem to remember you calling me.” He looked up into his lover’s face. “You weren’t there, yet you were.”

“Yes. As you lay dying, your katra came to me. We joined.”

“Like you and McCoy.”

“That is correct. The strength of our bond allowed me to reach you and take your katra into me though we were not touching.”

“That’s amazing. But if I died, where did-” Kirk grabbed Spock’s arm. “The Genesis device, you used it, didn’t you? You used it!”

Spock looked down at his hands clasped together in his lap. “Yes.”

“You promised me you never would! How could you do it, Spock? How could you?” Kirk was so angry he could hardly see straight and was taken completely by surprise when Spock pushed him away and rose from the bed. The Vulcan was half way across the cabin before Kirk found his voice. “Where the hell do you think you’re going? I want answers, Mister. And I want them right now!”

Spock abruptly stopped and turned slowly around. His features were set in a stony mask of unconcealed rage. “You do not know what I went through, all those years you were gone. For you, mere days have passed since last we were together. But for me, it has been a lifetime.”

“Spock, I-”

“I was alone!” He shuddered and took a deep breath. “So alone, Jim. You cannot imagine how it was. My mother, and then you...and then Sarek. But especially you. I could have borne their loss if you had still been there, but I could not bear the aloneness without you. There was none who knew me, truly knew me. And my mind,” he spread his arms in helpless supplication, “was empty. It was a shell being slowly filled with anger and despair. I am a Vulcan. And half my soul had been ripped away. You cannot possibly comprehend what that did to me.”

Kirk watched as his lover fought to bring himself under control. He had never seen the Vulcan so vulnerable. “Please, don’t let us do this to each other. Please, come sit down.”

Spock dropped his arms and swallowed hard before hesitantly returning to the bed. He sat against the headboard and pulled the blanket up like a shield. “I believed you would be angry with me, though I hoped otherwise. But I also hoped that you would give me the opportunity to explain before condemning me outright.”

Kirk took a deep breath. Spock was right. He didn’t know what his lover had gone through, alone all those years. How would he have reacted to such a situation? “I’m sorry. I guess that hasn’t change, has it? I’ve always been one to fly off the handle.” He smiled, trying to lighten the situation. “But I’ve always listened to you, haven’t I? Even if I didn’t always agree with what you had to say?”

Spock nodded wordlessly.

“Then, I’ll listen now.” Kirk sat next to the Vulcan, his legs folded. “Go ahead.”

It was a long story. Spock took him through the lonely years, from the horrifying moment their bond had violently shut down seventy-eight years earlier, leaving Spock incapacitated for days, to the glorious moment, a little over a week before, when it had just as suddenly reactivated.

He told Kirk of his return to Vulcan after Kirk’s memorial service. Spock had sold their home on Earth, unable to imagine himself living there without Kirk. Yet, life on Vulcan had not been much better. The rift with his father had never healed, and years, and then decades, would pass in a quiet desperation.

His research on the Genesis device had, oddly, helped to keep him sane. The intricacies of its design had fascinated him. The fact that it was the reason for his own existence only wet his curiosity all the more. And it was a link to Kirk. David Marcus may have been a son in name only, but a son, nevertheless.

And then there was the flight to Romulus, and his doomed attempt at reunifying that lost tribe of Vulcan. He related to Kirk his own meeting with Picard, and the meld that would help ease, a little, his father’s loss. It had not soothed the hurt of Amanda’s death. Sarek’s thoughts had not been there, only the essence of his love for his wife and son and the strong reverberations of his passing. But it had gone a ways in healing the deep wounds of what Spock saw as his father’s abandonment of his mother.

Finally, there was Spock’s exile on Mizar Two. As close as he had ever come to happiness after Kirk’s disappearance, it had been there. Yet, he had forsaken it without a second thought when he had felt the stirrings of their bond and Kirk’s need of him.

“And then you came for me,” Kirk whispered huskily.

“Then I came for you,” Spock repeated. “I knew you were dying. I was so afraid I would be unable to join us. You were so far.”

“Like Sarek and your mother?”

Spock looked away, and then Kirk saw a tear slide unhindered down the Vulcan’s cheek.

“Spock?” Kirk reached out and pulled his lover into his arms, moving his body so that they were lying against each other. “What is it?”

Spock hugged him back, hard. “I condemned him for something he was unable to prevent. And when he sought to find happiness again, I condemned him all the more. How could he take another, be content with another, when the very thought of replacing you in my life with anathema? I did not understand and refused to try.”

“Maybe all he was was content.” Kirk’s hand had instinctively found its way to Spock’s hair, and he lightly drew his fingers through the silky growth. “He had lost your mother completely. There was no hope of ever getting her back. It wasn’t the same as with you and me.”

“He did not believe you lived. He thought I was clinging to something that no longer existed. It was...difficult.”

“I can’t even imagine it, Spock. I don’t even want to think about how I would deal with losing you again.”

“I believed you would have to,” the Vulcan quietly noted.

Kirk frowned and placed his hand under Spock’s chin, forcing him to look up. “What do you mean?”

“I believed I was dying when we left the Genesis planet. I still do not understand why I did not.”

“Why did you think you were dying?”

“The device’s effect had me in its grip as well. My body is as much a construct of its power as yours is. When I re-entered its sphere of influence, it seemed to start where it had left off the last time.”

“You thought you were getting older,” Kirk surmised.

“Correct. Apparently, this time, the effect was to reverse the process.”

Kirk smiled and ran his hand down Spock’s naked torso, conveniently coming to rest on the Vulcan’s buttocks. “Mmm, well I have to say, I really appreciate where it left off.”

“As do I.” Spock rose a bit higher and lightly pressed his lips to Kirk’s.

A surge of desire overwhelmed Kirk. He had always loved Spock, but lust had played a big part in their relationship, too. He had never had enough of the lean, powerful body pressed to his. He tugged at the blanket that lay between them, and with Spock’s help managed to get them entangled in each other’s arms, their bodies pressed tightly together.

Spock buried his head into the hollow of Kirk’s neck. “I have missed you so very much, t’hy’la.”

“I know.” Kirk felt his eyes water and his throat tighten. “But we have so many years now. The rest of our lives.”

The Vulcan brought his head up and studied Kirk for a moment. “You are here, and I am almost afraid to let you go.”

“Then don’t.”

Kirk halted any further words with a kiss. He plunged into the heat that was his lover, their tongues intertwining as each tasted of the other. He felt Spock’s hands, large and strong, fondle his ass, the fingers pressing into his flesh and skimming over the opening to his body.

Kirk insinuated his hand between their bodies to search out the hot Vulcan cock that pressed against his abdomen. He began to slowly pump the engorged organ, revelling in the way Spock moaned into his mouth. He pulled away to grab a lungful of air. “Do you like that, love? Does it feel good?”

Spock didn’t answer. But the hands on his ass tightened as Spock’s hips pushed harder and faster against his body. With a last squeeze on his lover’s cock, Kirk let go and brought his arms tightly around the Vulcan’s waist.

He could feel his shaft slide against Spock’s, drops of precum slicking their cocks as they rocked against each other. It brought back memories of their beginning, when, as two young men, they had found in each other a desire that equaled their own.

“Dear god, yes. Like that, yes.” His world became the beloved man in his arms, the heavy sex of his lover nestled against his own and the deep voice that whispered his name over and over again.

Then the Vulcan’s mouth was on his neck, biting, sucking, as if he wanted to eat Kirk alive. Shudders ran through the lean body and Kirk knew his lover was ready to come.

He heard Spock give a deep moan and then felt the heated liquid burst from the Vulcan’s cock. Kirk pumped once, twice more against his lover’s semen-coated belly and gave himself up to the throes of orgasm.

They held each other for long minutes, until the heat of their bodies drove them apart. Kirk got up to find a towel while Spock readjusted the covers. When he returned, he climbed into the Vulcan’s waiting arms.

At first, Spock held him loosely. But as the minutes passed, his hold tightened, until finally he was clinging fiercely to Kirk. Kirk heard him gasp, and then great, wracking sobs shook the Vulcan. All Kirk could do was whisper words of succor to the man in his arms and ride out the storm.

He had never seen Spock like this. Oh, there had been tears over the years. As much joy as there had been in their lives, they had had their share of sorrow. But not like this. Not this emotional catharsis that, once finally over, left Spock weakly clinging to him.

“Are you all right, now?” Kirk asked.

“I believe so.” Spock’s voice was rough with fatigue. “I apologize for my loss of control.”

“The cause was sufficient, I think.” Kirk pressed a kiss to Spock’s brow. “You sound like you could use some sleep, though.”

“Perhaps you are right. I find my energy quite depleted.”

They settled in, Kirk rearranging the blankets so that Spock was adequately covered. He lowered the lights, and the only sound was the hush of wind from outside. He thought Spock was asleep when the Vulcan spoke.

“I am almost afraid to fall asleep.”

“Why?” Kirk began playing with the soft hairs on Spock’s chest.

“I fear waking up alone,” Spock answered huskily.

“I’m here, Spock. And I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

Spock was silent for a moment. “It was night on Vulcan when you...disappeared. I woke to a feeling of such aloneness. Your place in my mind was empty. And though I believed you still lived, I did not know where to find you.”

“Oh, Spock.” Kirk heard the threat of still more tears in Spock’s voice. “I wish I had known how easy it was to get out of the Nexus. Instead, I wasted all those years lost in a bizarre dream of my own making.”

“You were not happy?”

Kirk sighed. “I don’t know what I was, to tell the truth. Time didn’t flow in a straight line. I could be any age, at any place I happened to think of. Yet all I had to do was think of something else and everything would change.”

“Jim, may I ask you something?”

Kirk came up on an elbow. “Anything.”

“Who is Antonia?”

Kirk blushed, and his eyes studiously avoided Spock’s.

“Jim?”

“You don’t remember.”

Spock cocked his head and then his eyes lit up. “Our neighbor. She lived on the floor above ours.”

“That’s right.”

“But in your mind, I saw a recent image of her. A feeling...” Spock frowned.

“It wasn’t real. Nothing was real there.” Kirk closed his eyes on the pain that thought brought.

“Was she not married?”

He grimaced and opened his eyes. “Yeah, that’s what made her safe.”

“I do not understand.”

“The Nexus is a strange place. Whatever you want you can have. But the feelings aren’t there. It didn’t matter that I didn’t love her. Just like it didn’t matter that I no longer loved Carole Marcus, either. It was all fantasy.”

Darkness stirred in Spock’s eyes. “You did not dream of me.”

“I couldn’t. It hurt too much.” Kirk rubbed his temple as he groped for the words that would make this right. “Nothing there mattered, Spock. The one and only time I dared think of you, I couldn’t retain the fantasy. I knew it wasn’t really you, somehow. And I felt like I was dying inside.” He grabbed at the Vulcan’s shoulder and laid his head on his lover’s chest. I couldn’t touch you, couldn’t feel you in my mind.”

He felt Spock’s hand settle on his head and the long fingers gentled into his hair. “I believe I understand. It was very difficult to think of our time together while you were gone. It did not bring the joy it should have. Only despair.”

Kirk brought his head up, caught between hope and anguish. “Then you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive.” Spock lowered his hand to Kirk’s neck and pulled him closer. “You are here, and you can touch me now.”

It would be a long night. And Kirk liked that just fine.

**********

“Where do you wish to go?” Spock asked. They sat outside the shuttle watching the stars and enjoying the warmth cast by a large fire. They had rolled over two large logs and positioned them as seating.

“I’m not sure.” Kirk threw the piece of kindling he’d been toying with into the fire. It’s nice here.”

They had been on the planet for five days. Much of it had been spent exploring the surrounding area...and each other. It was a gift, this returned youth, that neither seemed to be able to fully absorb. But Spock knew it was not enough. “You will eventually grow bored.”

Kirk grinned. “You’re probably right. But it could be our home-base.”

“That is a possibility. We are far from any of the political entities that might consider it their property.”

“There you go. Finders keepers.”

Spock thought over that particularly ridiculous idiom but decided not to comment on it. Instead, he turned the conversation back to his original question. “If this is to be our home-base, where, exactly, is it a home-base from?”

“What’s that way?” Kirk pointed to the heavens behind him.

“Uncharted space.”

“That no one’s claimed?”

Spock nodded. “From this point on, it is unknown territory.”

“We could check it out, see what’s out there.”

“You do not wish to return to the Federation?”

Kirk mulled over the question for a few minutes. Finally, he shook his head. “No. I think I’d feel like a museum piece. And I’d have to learn everything all over again.”

“You are an intelligent man, Jim. It would not prove difficult,” Spock chided.

“It’s not just that.” The human looked down at his feet. “They’d find out what happened and who I am.”

“They would remember a man of sixty; not the youth of thirty.”

“But they’d remember you. You show up with someone that looks exactly like your long-lost lover and they’d either think I was some sort of pathetic substitute, or they’d figure out it was the real me. No, maybe someday, years from now when they’ve forgotten both of us, but not right now.” He looked up at Spock. “Is that all right with you?”

“I find that agreeable. When would we leave to find out ‘what’s out there’?”

“What’s wrong with tomorrow? We have plenty of supplies.” Kirk had been relieved to learn the planet had food and water in abundance.

“If that is what you wish.”

“Are you sure, Spock? I don’t want you to go along just to humor me, not if it’s not what you really want to do.”

“I do not care where we go. As long as I am with you, I am content.”

The smile that greeted his pronouncement was worth more than anything the Federation could ever offer. For so long he’d sleepwalked through the days; the nights, and the dreams of Kirk, the only relief from his misery. The anger that had dominated his life for so long was gone. Joy had returned. They had all the time in the world now, and he looked forward to the dawn.



Finis

Comments

[titc.livejournal.com]

I wake up, check the FList, find wrongs are righted and a 'happy ever after' story: life is good ;-b

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

There's no way I could see what they have ending; who, more than they, deserves a happy ending? :-) Thanks for commenting.

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

Hey!
I read this one today - again, the zine version should tehre be a different - and I think I just devoured it. Crawled in my arm chair I hardly moved or breathed until I reached the end.

It took some time before I figured out what happens here, especially after the Spock/Picard meld but I was so captured that I just went on and on. You built a great and very compelling atmosphere with this one, Gilda. Wow!
Alone all those lonely, empty years Spock spent, and how no one would believe him and still he didn't gave up.
And I'm glad Kirk forgave him using the device! Well, how could he possibily not seeing the result, right? :)

This is my personal head canon now and oh what a wonderful explanation! And what an even more wonderful outlook to know they still have so many, many years together, a whole new life actually - it gave me such a warm and sweet feeling. Thank you so much for this!

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

PS:
And I forgot to mention that I liked your explanation about the wedding Picard attended too! I often wondered why the hell they let Picard say that and thought for myself Sarek might have had another son with his new wife who just wasn't mentioned.
But of course I liked your pov!!

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :-) I hated that line in Next Gen—well, actually, I totally disliked the episodes!

[tracionn.livejournal.com]

Me too!
But I dislike nearly each occasion in which they dragged our guys into stories and universes they don't belong in.
Ah well - I'll stick to our original K/S world and am happy there :)

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a plan to me. :-)

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Alone all those lonely, empty years Spock spent, and how no one would believe him and still he didn't gave up.

I think that, more than anything, gave me the incentive to write the story. What a depressing future TPTB gave Spock, all alone on an alien planet. Yes, he was still alone, but there had to be an end to it.

And I'm glad Kirk forgave him using the device! Well, how could he possibily not seeing the result, right? :)

Exactly. *g*

This is my personal head canon now and oh what a wonderful explanation! And what an even more wonderful outlook to know they still have so many, many years together, a whole new life actually - it gave me such a warm and sweet feeling. Thank you so much for this!

You're very welcome. :-) And there's no higher praise than hearing it's become your personal canon!