Duty's Call by Elise Madrid (K/S)

[gilda_elise]

Originally published in Legends 3, November 2003 by MKASHEF Enterprises

Duty’s Call

by Elise Madrid





"You are going to singe your toes."

Kirk felt the weight on the couch shift as Spock seated himself. He looked back and grinned at the Vulcan. "So why don't you come down here and keep me warm?" He patted the space next to him on the carpet as he wagged his stockinged feet back and forth in front of the fire not two feet away.

Spock gave an elaborate sigh and slid down. He settled next to Kirk, but pulled his own feet up away from the fireplace.

Kirk grabbed Spock's hand and pulled the Vulcan's arm over and around his shoulders. "There," he nestled against his lover. "That's better."

It had been a long day. Kirk's insistance in walking back from the festivities had tired him and his feet hurt. He was eighty-five, and today, he felt every year. The added warmth of Spock's body felt good.

After fifty years, the fire of their passion was no more than a flickering ember. But the love Kirk held for his bondmate more than made up for any lack in physical response. They had been good years, all in all. Years that had seemed to fly by. It was hard to imagine the men they had been, though Kirk could still see in Spock the young Vulcan who had greeted him that first day on the Enterprise.

"Did you get everything done? Calls returned, reports caught up, mail – "

"I was not gone that long," the Vulcan chastised. "It needed to be done in any event. I was merely making sure that the rest of the day was ours alone."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem. Bones was going straight home. Who else would bother with a couple of fossils like us?" He reached up to tousle Spock's bangs. “Even though you still haven't gone gray."

"It is there. It is just that your sight is not what it once was."

Kirk gave a quick jab to the Vulcan's ribs. "That was a low blow. You know I'm allergic to retinax." It hadn't mattered how much the drug had been "improved". Kirk's eyes still reddened at the very thought of using it.

"And you refuse to allow Doctor McCoy to replace the glasses you broke," Spock chastized.

"They hurt my nose." Kirk turned back to the fire, liking the warmth on his face. At his age, one took heat where one could.

"Is that truly the only reason?"

"They make me look older... and I already look years older than you as it is," Kirk accused him crossly.

"Your hair is more gray," Spock carded his fingers through the silver strands, "but you do not look older than I."

Truthfully, Kirk had to admit that Spock was right. After all these years they had finally come to look an age. His bondmate's Vulcan biology had been no match against the ravages of Gol and Spock's human half. "Well, I feel older. And I'm aging faster than you."

"Does it bother you so much, Jim?" Spock's voice held a hint of sorrow.

"Sometimes. When I remember how much of your life I've stolen from you." He turned to face his lover. "I hate it."

"You have stolen nothing. I gave it to you years ago." Spock gently touched his cheek. "On the day you stepped off the transporter platform and into my life."

"Spock, you didn't even like me at first."

"That is not true. I was taken by you from our first meeting. I considered you quite physically attractive."

Kirk grinned. "Really! You could have fooled me."

"It... disturbed me."

Kirk turned to face his bondmate and grimaced as he fought to cross his legs. He finally gave up and scooted closer to place one leg across Spock's lap, while insinuating the other behind the Vulcan. With a grunt he managed to get comfortable. He wrapped his arms around Spock's waist. "Okay, tell me why thinking I was attractive disturbed you so much."

Spock's eyebrows rose in obvious surprise. "Do you not remember how I was then?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember. You were gorgeous."

"That is not what I meant," Spock huffed.

"I know what you meant." Kirk sobered. "Do you want to see exactly how you appeared to me on that day?"

They had rarely spoken of their first meeting, though each had confessed to feeling an instantaneous and inexplicable draw toward the other. Perhaps it was because by the time they got together, there was already so much between them. But he could tell by the stillness that came over Spock that the Vulcan was intrigued. He grabbed Spock's hand and placed it on his face. "Go ahead, love."

Spock hesitated only a moment. He firmed his touch on Kirk's face and together they fell into the meld.

"Welcome aboard, Captain Kirk."

"Thank you, Commander Spock. It's good to be here." Kirk studied the Vulcan who was to be his first officer. The man was beautiful. His face was a study in contrasts; the austere contenance in juxaposition to the sensuous mouth and smoldering eyes. Kirk had to force himself away, afraid of what he might be insinuating with his gaze.

Once the formalities were over and he had been introduced to the rest of his command team, Kirk took off with Gary Mitchell. He had to put some space between himself and Spock. He needed the time to think.

As soon as courtesy allowed, he extricated himself from his old friend's company and headed for his new quarters. He busied himself with unpacking his more personal items, things he refused to allow a yeoman to go through, while mulling over this disturbing development.

Kirk had rarely been attracted to another man. And he had never done anything about it when he had been. The power struggle that would invariably result seemed more trouble than it was worth. So why the sudden intense interest in a man he had met only hours before?

Maybe because this was more than simple physical attraction. He'd felt an almost overpowering connection to the Vulcan, an invisible strand of energy flowing between them. He wanted to know Spock, in all ways. It was as if the alien held a part of him he hadn't even known was missing. He shook his head and smiled to himself. He was getting fanciful.

But one thing he did know. Vulcans were by nature a reserved people. A direct attack would get him nowhere. For once in his life, he'd go slow and let Spock set the pace of their relationship.

Kirk felt Spock slowly withdraw from the meld as the Vulcan broke physical contact. He opened his eyes to see his bondmate looking at him with unabashed tenderness.

"You did not 'go slow', t'hy'la."

"I couldn't."

Spock's head tilted endearingly. "Because..."

"Because even then I knew there was going to be something between us. Something wonderful. I just couldn't wait."

"For which I shall be forever grateful." Spock brushed his hand against Kirk's hair, a familiar caress.

The Vulcan had always seemed inordinately fascinated with his hair, Kirk mused. Even now that it was pure white. He scowled as he remembered what had started all this.

"What is it?" Spock asked.

"It seems I can't stop thinking about my age today. I guess the ceremony made it even more apparent how much time has passed."

"You did not enjoy it?"

The Vulcan had started a gentle massage of his scalp, and Kirk could feel slight tendrils of his bondmate's thoughts skitter through his own. He closed his eyes again. "What was not to enjoy? How often is a person honored in such a way?"

The ceremony to honor his many years in Starfleet, as they unceremoniously kicked him out, Kirk thought bitterly, had been a show stopping extravaganza. Dignitaries and world leaders had come from all over the Federation to laud him. He'd hated every minute of it. The only thing that had made it bearable was Spock's ever-present support. But even that had been marred by controversy. When he'd called his bondmate up to the podium to share in the honor, there had been those who had not looked kindly on the gesture. Kirk was angry and hurt. But most of all, it had made him feel old and used up. They didn't need him anymore.

"You feel as if they have disgarded you, yet you still wish to stay in the service. T'hy'la, it is past time. We will find other things to do."

"You will. They've already offered you a position in the diplomatic corp, Starfleet wants you at the academy, Vulcan wants – "

"I have also refused those positions."

"That's what I mean." Kirk opened his eyes and pushed Spock's hand away. "There's so much you still have to offer the galaxy. You could live on for another century, at least, if it wasn't for me."

"Jim," Spock interrupted, with not a little exasperation in his voice, "do you truly believe I would wish to continue without you?"

"Oh, so I'll be to blame for the Federation losing one of its premiere – "

"Enough! I do not wish to discuss this." Spock started to rise but Kirk was too quick for him. He grabbed the Vulcan around his neck and held on for dear life.

"No! Don't run away! You always do that."

"That is because I find this conversation extremely disturbing. Why must we speak of it yet again?"

"Because I'm running out of time, that's why!" Kirk was almost yelling.

"Do not say that! You have many years left to you. There is no need for you to be constantly bringing up this most distasteful subject. And I tire of having to defend myself to you."

"Not as tired as I am." Kirk fixed his gaze on his bondmate, trying to convey more than was possible with words. "Do you think this is pleasant for me? I don't want to leave you, Spock. Even for a little while. But can't you see how important this is?"

"Important to whom?" The look he gave Kirk was intense with long-held fear. But met with his bondmate's own implacable will, the Vulcan seemed to deflate. With a defeated sigh he embraced his lover and buried his head against Kirk's shoulder. "Please, Jim. Do not ask this of me."

"All right, love. We won't talk about it anymore." Resigned, Kirk gently kissed the top of Spock's head. He knew he'd get no further tonight. But he wasn't giving up. Someday, his bondmate would be forced to see that he was right. All that Spock was had belonged to him for over fifty years. It wasn't fair of him to deny the rest of humanity, the rest of the Federation, what his bondmate still had to offer.

Strange how the same hopes and fears followed you through life. Since the very beginning of their relationship, Kirk had hoped Spock would outlive him, but feared that he would not. After all this time, that had not changed. Yet from the memories of that long ago day came inspiration.

"Do you remember our first day as lovers?" he whispered into Spock's ear.

The Vulcan lifted his head and nodded slowly, his suspicion plain.

Kirk almost laughed. How well Spock knew him. "Do you remember what you told me?"

Spock's eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Here," Kirk once again took the Vulcan's hand. "Let me show you."

Kirk felt the organ pulse, and then his mouth was filled with the coppery taste of Spock's semen. He continued to suck, caught up by the low moans issuing from his new lover. The long months of want were finally over and Kirk felt like he could devour the Vulcan. His hunger would not be readily assuaged.

"Jim, it is too much," Spock rasped. He gently pushed, trying to dislodge Kirk's hold on his cock.

Looking up from his place between Spock's spread legs, Kirk's gaze traveled from the taut stomach, up the hirsute chest rapidly rising and falling, to finally settle on Spock's face. The Vulcan was up on his elbows, with a look that said watching his captain suck him to orgasm was the most fascinating sight he had ever witnessed. His hair was disheveled and his bangs clung to his forehead in damp spikes.

Kirk slowly let the deflated organ slip from his mouth and grinned. Damn, he'd made Spock sweat. He pulled himself up to cover his lover's body with his own. "Sorry. I just didn't want to stop."

"It is quite sensitive immediately afterwards." Spock let himself drop back on the bed.

"Yeah, I know. I'll try to control myself next time. It's just that I've wanted this for so long."

"I, too, find that I am unable to stop myself from touching you, from wanting you." With a sudden motion Spock flipped them over and Kirk found himself under his lover's body.

"No fair," he murmured softly as the Vulcan began to slowly kiss and lick his way down his body.

"I believe there is an old Earth saying...," Spock rejoined.

"That turn about is fair play?"

"Yes, I believe that is it."

Kirk felt his lover slide even further down until he lay in the same position Kirk himself had vacated only minutes before. He waited expectantly.

Spock did not disappoint him. He felt his cock engulfed by the hot Vulcan mouth.

"Oh, god," he cried out. He had never felt anything like it. Wet and heat and suction combined to create an overpowering sensation that threatened to annihilate him. He pushed his groin up as he fought to get more of this exquisite feeling.

When he brought his heels up to get better traction, Spock used the opportunity to get to his knees and drag Kirk's hips onto his lap. The strong arms that had so easily manuveured him held him in place while Spock's long fingers dug into his flesh. The hot hands fondled his ass cheeks, pulling them apart to lightly skim across the sensitive opening to his body.

Kirk reached out and grabbed the sides of the mattress. He held on, riding the wave that was taking him ever higher as his cock was sucked and Spock teased his anus.

When a digit breached the tight orifice, he moaned the Vulcan's name and came. His semen jetted out and and was greedily swallowed.
After every drop was licked from his softening organ, he was gently lowered. Spock studied him for a moment, a half smile on his face, before coming to lie at his side. "Was that satisfactory?"

"Are you kidding? That was fantastic. Where did you learn to do that?"

Spock turned an appealing shade of green. "I perused the ship's library for information pertaining to male to male sexual practices."
"It should be mandatory reading," Kirk responded, more to himself than to Spock.

But the Vulcan's ears didn't miss a trick. "Have you had disappointing assignations in regards to this technique?"

It was Kirk's turn to blush. "Maybe. But I suppose another man would already know what felt good." He regarded the Vulcan with mock suspicion. "Wouldn't he?"

Spock stiffened. "I would not know."

Kirk turned and pulled the Vulcan to him. "Hey, I was just kidding. Whatever you've done before, whoever you've been with before, that's none of my business. All I'm interested in is from now on."

He felt Spock relax and strong arms enfold him. "I should have realized that you would not pry in such a manner. But, Jim, I do wish to tell you whatever it is you desire to know of me. It is just... all so new."

He pushed Spock back until the Vulcan was lying flat. Using his folded arms as a cushion, Kirk propped himself on his lover's chest. "It is, isn't it?" He let his gaze wander over the body next to his. "But I think it's going to be really easy to get used to. Even this." He lightly touched his temple.

"You speak of the bond."

"It's stronger than I thought it would be. I thought we'd have to be together a while longer before it would get to this point."

The light in Spock's eyes was unmistakable. "We are uncommonly suited to one another."

"So it's not this way with all Vulcans?"

"Indeed not. Just as humans can have varying degrees of commitment to each other, so it is with Vulcans and the bond."

"What about your parents? Wait, forget I asked that. I shouldn't be prying into their relationship."

Spock shifted, his discomfort with the subject manifesting itself physically. "You have the right to know all there is to know about a situation in which you now find yourself. In any event, I would not be privy to such information in regard to my parents."

"Because it's not talked about."

"To a certain degree. But also because my bond to my father is very weak."

Kirk studied his lover, and how Spock's demeanor had changed so drastically. "That really bothers you, doesn't it?"

The Vulcan hesitated before responding. "It has made it difficult to always know my place as it pertained to him and my mother."

"I don't understand."

"The mental bond, whether between life mates, or parent and child, is a central tenet of Vulcan life. It affects how we are with each other, where we fit within the family unit. And to a lesser degree, our role in society. Though we may seem a cold and distant people, these familial and social ties are very important to us."

"I didn't know that." Kirk pondered this new information. He frowned, and then hesitantly responded, "I don't mean to dredge up painful memories, but I wonder why T'Pring would do what she did then, knowing that she'd end up Stonn's chattel. That can't be high on the social order."

"Perhaps because she perceived being a chattel as far preferable to ostracism from Vulcan society."

"They would do that? Why?"

Spock shook his head. "No, they would not. But because one's relationship with one's bondmate is paramount, my absence would have caused her to be... pitied is the closest analogy."

Kirk whistled softly. "I can see how for someone like T'Pring, being owned by someone would be the better of two evils. Especially since I got the impression that Stonn wasn't going to be the one wearing the pants in that family... figuratively speaking. It also explains your mother's position in regards to your and Sarek's relationship. I always wondered why she didn't force a reconciliation between the two of you. I think I can understand why you were so unsure of your place with them."

"That was a factor, but there was a more fundamental reason. When I was a child the strength of my parent's bond disturbed me. She is human, and I was under the false assumption that she was therefore weak, perhaps even sickly. I feared that she would die and that my father would follow her."

Kirk frowned. "What do you mean, follow her? Did you think he would die, too?"

"It was a possibility. I assume it still is. She is not a telepath, but the bond would ensure his death – "

"Damn it, Spock!" Kirk angerly shot up to hover over his lover. "You should have said something to me earlier!"

Spock looked at him in confusion. "I – "

"What about the ship?! Who's going to take care of her if both of us die during an emergency?"

Understanding dawned and Spock shook his head. "No, Jim. The death of one bondmate is not necessarily followed by the other."

Kirk's anger fizzled as fast as it had arisen, to be replaced with puzzlement. He crossed his legs and sat comfortably at his lover's side. "But you just said – "

"That the bond would ensure his death... if he so desired. "

"Oh.” Kirk tried to digest all of it. There was so much he didn't know about being bonded to a Vulcan. Ever since Spock's pon farr he had known that he would be the one there for his friend the next time. But he hadn't thought much about the rest of it. He'd realized long ago that their rapport went deeper than anything else he'd ever experienced... with anyone. If that closeness meant they would spend eternity together, so much the better. But how did you balance that drive to perfect oneness with duty's call?

"Jim?" Spock sounded almost scared, as if in fear of losing what he had just gained.

Kirk came out of his musings and took his lover's hand. "I'm all right. It's just that for a moment I thought you meant that if one of us died, the other automatically would, too."

"Only if the survivor wishes to."

"Would you? Wish to, I mean?"

The Vulcan didn't hesitate. It was as if he had prepared himself for this conversation long ago. "Whatever my wishes, I would fulfill my duty first."

Kirk's head slumped onto Spock's chest as the Vulcan dropped his hand, breaking the meld. Kirk had noticed the older he got, the more taxing the melds were. He grieved for the day it would no longer be possible for them to share this most precious of gifts.

"Are you all right, t'hy'la?" Concern laced Spock's words, and his hands rested on Kirk's shoulders.

He nodded, but stayed cradled against his bondmate. "Just give me a minute." When he felt strong enough, he lifted his head. "That day, when you said that about your duty, I felt such a relief. I knew I didn't have to worry. Whatever happened to me, you'd be there to carry on."

"I was speaking of the ship, the crew." Spock's fingers tightened.

"You spoke of duty."

"The situation was vastly different. I no longer carry the responsibility of so many lives."

"The circumstances might have changed, but you still have a responsibility to others."

"And will I never be released from it?"

Kirk touched Spock's face, and stroked the creased and jagged visage. Was he wrong to demand this of Spock? Was he doing him a grave injustice, expecting him to continue when Kirk knew that he himself would not wish to if the the situations were reversed? No, the crime would be to deprive the universe of the genius that was his bondmate. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to his lover's. "I know you, beloved. You will always do your duty."

A harsh sob escaped the Vulcan as he wrapped his arms around Kirk and hugged him tight. "My place is at your side. That is my ultimate duty."

He let Spock hold him. Kirk knew he hadn't convinced his bondmate. Not today. And probably not tomorrow, either. It was an old argument, one they'd had time and again over the years. And every time they did, he chipped away another piece of Spock's resistance. Hopefully, he still had years in which to convince his bondmate. But in the end, he vowed, Spock would do his duty.

But right now, Kirk was tired. He relaxed into the heat of his lover's body and rested his head against Spock's chest, warmed by the fire that burned only for him. Someday, he would have to release that fire. But happily, not today.

Duty would have to wait.

Finis

Comments

[dreamplum.livejournal.com]

Hey, I didn't know you were posting stuff online :-) I'll be back when it's not so late at night, since your other fic looks longish!

Kirk had rarely been attracted to another man. And he had never done anything about it when he had been. The power struggle that would invariably result seemed more trouble than it was worth

Reminds me EXACTLY of the reason I don't feel comfortable dating other femmes. Same exact thing.

I liked the description of when they're in bed how Spock's bangs are damp. For some reason I like the image.

I remember reading another story someplace where they were also older and there was also angst because Spock had potential left while Kirk's life was winding down, and in THAT story, it was a breakup fic--that made not much sense to me. But yours didn't go that route, and that made me very happy! THEY seem happy, at any rate, even with Kirk worrying.

*yay more fic to read!* ^_^

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

Hey, I didn't know you were posting stuff online :-) I'll be back when it's not so late at night, since your other fic looks longish!

I just started. My lj seemed the easiest place to post them so here I am. :-)

I liked the description of when they're in bed how Spock's bangs are damp. For some reason I like the image.

Me, too. For me, it makes him appear more vulnerable.

I remember reading another story someplace where they were also older and there was also angst because Spock had potential left while Kirk's life was winding down, and in THAT story, it was a breakup fic--that made not much sense to me. But yours didn't go that route, and that made me very happy! THEY seem happy, at any rate, even with Kirk worrying.

I could never see them breaking up after so many years, even if they never resolved the problem between them. But I do give them that in another story; I couldn't bear leaving them like this!

Glad you liked the story, Farfalla, and thanks for commenting.

[dreamplum.livejournal.com]

LJ is a great place to post stories if you don't have a website. It's got a clear, easy to understand format that's great for both the user and the reader.

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

I'm finding that out. It took me awhile to figure out the intricacies of building a home page but having been the Pros driver for a month on crack_van, I'd already had a crash course in posting stories. It really helped!

[dreamplum.livejournal.com]

If you do ever want a website, check out Isla's and K'Chaps--I'm for hire :-)

[gilda-elise.livejournal.com]

If you do ever want a website, check out Isla's and K'Chaps--I'm for hire :-)

I'll do that. Thanks, Farfalla.