Asking For the Moon (K/S) Pt 1 of 2
Jul. 29th, 2012 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseTitle: Asking For the Moon
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: James Kirk/ Spock
Summary: Kirk takes Spock along on a diplomatic mission, hoping for an opportunity to discuss a future relationship between them after seeing what he thinks is reciprocated affection in a meld.
Notes: Originally published by Merry Men Press in First Time 64.
“Good afternoon, Captain.”
Kirk glanced over. Ensign Sawyer, only months out of the Academy and eager to please, waited for a response. He managed a halfhearted smile, and then almost instantly forgot about the young man. He had a lot on his mind.
Having walked the corridors of the ship for over thirty minutes, he was no closer to a resolution than when he’d started. The communiqué he’d received that morning, and Star Fleet’s response to his request, had his stomach churning. He’d been able to ignore it most of the morning, going through the motions, glad they weren’t in the middle of a crisis, but finally he’d left Spock in charge and departed the bridge.
He’d thought to return to his cabin; he needed time to think, but inevitably his steps had led him to sickbay. They always did when he had a problem. And, boy, did he have one now.
He entered sickbay to find the front area devoid of personal, but he could hear his friend speaking to someone in the back. Kirk walked over and stuck his head in.
“Got a moment, Bones?”
“Wait for me in my office,” McCoy said without so much as looking Kirk’s way.
Whatever McCoy and the hapless nurse (Kirk thought her name was Lisa but he wasn’t sure,) were discussing obviously took precedent, so he did what he was told and proceeded to McCoy’s office. He went in and sat down, propping his feet up on the desk while he waited. Unfortunately, that gave him even more time to think, which sent him right back to where he’d started. Because with every rethinking, he became more unsure of his course, more inclined to just forget the whole thing.
Thing was, he really didn’t want to forget about it. After three years, he finally had, well, not proof exactly, but a pretty good idea of where he stood in Spock’s affections. Now, all he had to do was figure out what to do with that knowledge.
He’d wanted Spock from that first sight of him as Kirk had materialized in the Enterprise’s transporter room and taken command of the ship. It had been Gary Mitchell who had stepped forward to greet their new captain, but it was the mysterious and, oh, so appealing Vulcan who had caught his eye—and held it.
But Spock was Vulcan, so Kirk hS pushed aside his attraction and got on with the business of being captain. He and Mitchell had picked up where they’d left off while at the Academy, being there for each other when one or the other were in need, yet not what Kirk would have called lovers. Mitchell’s preference had always been more for women, and while Kirk loved his friend he wasn’t in love with him. And Gary hadn’t minded at all that Kirk’s focus was more and more on Spock—when it wasn’t diverted by an attractive female. He’d kidded Kirk about it a couple of times, mostly figuring that Kirk was wasting his time, but wondering, too, what he saw in the Vulcan. Mitchell wasn’t Spock’s biggest fan.
Most of the time, though, he’d listened with mild amusement and then grabbed Kirk and made him forget about his fascination for Spock, even if for only a little while. It was a convenient situation that lasted until they’d run into the force at the end of the galaxy and everything had gone to hell.
After that, Kirk found himself turning even more toward his science officer, to the point that making him his First had only seemed, to borrow a phrase, logical. With time, Spock had lowered his defensive shields and allowed Kirk to see the man behind them. It hadn’t taken long for Kirk’s attraction to turn to love. But that isn’t what Spock was offering, so he’d convinced himself that having Spock’s friendship was enough; it had to be.
Kirk continued his quest for female companionship, even thinking himself in love with a couple of them, only to somehow always end up where he’d begun, with Spock always at his side. Then came the distress call from Camus II.
Kirk shuddered. In the month since his being trapped in Janice Lester’s body, he’d woken more than once, his heart pounding and his body drenched in sweat, his captivity having replayed in his sleep, but with a decidedly more unpleasant ending. He would take deep breaths and try to relax as the last tendrils of his nightmares released him. Kirk had never thought of himself as someone who held on to hate, but in those dark hours of the night, he hated Janice Lester.
Yet, ironically, from what was probably the worst thing he had ever experienced, had come hope that perhaps what he had always considered out of reach was already in his hands.
The meld. God, he loved melding with Spock. It had never happened except when they were in danger, yet Kirk had come to crave the indescribable feeling of his friend’s mind sliding into his. And no matter how hard Spock tried not to let Kirk see into his, some of Spock always filtered through. His friend must have been more disturbed by the situation than he let on, because, this time, something very rare and precious had slipped through.
Kirk closed his eyes, remembering the surge of love and desire he’d felt through the meld. His body and mind had responded and he’d felt a moisture gather between his legs as his mind surged toward Spock’s. It had been all he could do not to pull the Vulcan into an embrace.
In the reality of their minds, it was if he had—or that Spock had. He could feel the Vulcan’s large hands all over him, caressing his back and buttocks, pulling him close so that he could feel Spock’s erection through their clothing.
Afterwards, when he was back in his own body and Lester was off his ship, he’d been ready to go to Spock’s cabin, grab his friend and make wild, passionate love. He’d even managed to start the journey, going directly there after McCoy had given him a once-over and released him from sickbay. But the closer he got to Spock’s quarters, the more he questioned what exactly it was he’d seen.
Okay, so Spock loved him. Well, he’d sort of known that already. But desire? Was that really what he’d seen? Or was it maybe desire for the female body, somehow mixed up with his emotional connection to Kirk, which Kirk had mistakenly thought of as desire for him? No longer sure of what he’d seen, he continued past Spock’s door and proceeded on to his own cabin.
“What can I do for you, Jim?”
Kirk’s eyes flew open and he straightened in the chair, his feet hitting the floor as McCoy entered the room and took his seat.
“What was that all about?” Kirk asked with a nod to the outer room.
McCoy eyed him a moment, as if seeing the question as the dodge that it was. “Sanders isn’t doing as well as he should be, so I’ve upped his medication and I’m having him watched closely.” He sighed. “I really do wish these kids would tell me when something doesn’t feel right.”
Ensign Sanders had been bitten by a small reptile-like creature during a landing party on a newly discovered planet. Not thinking it serious, he’d failed to report the injury until his hand had begun to swell and he’d started running a fever. By the time he landed in sickbay, he was having convulsions.
“Is he going to be all right?”
“Yeah, I think so, but he’s going to be miserable for awhile.”
“I’ll talk to him once he’s out of sickbay.”
“You do that.” McCoy leaned backed, pursing his lips as he studied Kirk.
“What?”
“I guess I should be asking you that. You wanted to talk. So talk.”
“You know, I hate when you do that.”
“So you’ve said. Now, are you going to beat around the bush some more or are you going to get on with it? I don’t have all day.”
Kirk gave the doctor a sour look. He really did hate that McCoy could read him so well. “I got a communiqué this morning. Star Fleet wants me to head for Arzor. It seems they’ve finally come to an agreement about joining the Federation as a full-fledged member rather than just a colony world.”
“It’s about time. It’s been, what, fifteen years since the subject was first brought up?”
“Something like that. Who would have thought a planet settled by humans would have so many objections to full membership?”
“They’re a pretty hedonistic society. Maybe they figured the Federation might be a bit too staid for their tastes. After all, one of the reasons they left was because Earth wouldn’t allow them multiple spouses.”
“It’s allowed on a few of the Federation’s member planets so it’s obviously no longer a problem. Personally, I think it had more to do with having to pay taxes to the Federation that was a sticking point.”
“Didn’t they call on the Federation when they were having that epidemic a couple of years back? They must have realized all that medical personal and equipment didn’t come cheap.”
“Not to mention that we’re responsible for their protection. This ship doesn’t come cheap, either. Anyway, the ship’s heading in that direction but I’ll be leaving by shuttle in the morning while the Enterprise heads for Starbase seven and some R and R.”
“And don’t think I’m not looking forward to that. Last shore leave was over six months ago.”
Kirk chuckled. “Don’t I know it.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“About a week. I’ll contact Scotty when the ceremonies have been wrapped up and arrange a rendezvous point.”
“It’s too bad you won’t be coming along with us. Scotty already has a couple of places lined up.”
“Yes, I’ve heard him rhapsodize more than once about that particular starbase.”
“If there’s a place with plenty of women and wine, Scotty’ll find it.” McCoy enthusiastically rubbed his hands together. “And I can hardly wait to see them.”
“You two ever going to settle down?”
McCoy gave him a look. “I’m not planning on it—and I’d be surprised if Scotty was. Not all of us are slowing down, you know.”
“Is that a complaint?”
“Let’s just say I was surprised when you agreed to go with us.”
Kirk shrugged. “I’m ready for some time off. Believe it or not, I was looking forward to it.”
“Arzor has some pretty fine places, too. Not that they can give the base a run for its money, but certainly exciting enough for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kirk waved him off before McCoy could reply. “I’ve heard Arzor is nice enough, and it isn’t as if I won’t have plenty of free time.” Induction ceremonies were notorious for being long on formality but short on substance. Most of the day would be his own. He hesitated, not sure how McCoy would take his next statement. “I’m taking Spock with me.”
“Ah.” McCoy nodded knowingly. “You’re worried Star Fleet won’t like the idea.”
“No, ‘Fleet thought it was a pretty good idea. The Arzorians actually have a lot of respect for Vulcan, which is sort of odd when you think about it, so Spock’s going along could only help matters. That’s not the problem.”
McCoy gave a long-suffering sigh. “You haven’t told him yet, have you?”
Kirk slowly shook his head and frowned just thinking about it. “How do you tell somehow something like that?”
“I don’t know, getting down on bended knee seems to have worked for a lot of guys.”
“Right. ‘I think I might have seen that you love me, Mr. Spock. How about getting married?’”
“Why not? From what you told me, it’s what he wants, too.”
Kirk shook his head. “I think that’s what I saw, but what if I’m wrong, Bones? What if what I saw was what I wanted to see?”
“What’s the matter, Jim, afraid of a little rejection?” He held up his hand before Kirk could interrupt. “Not take the chance just because things might not work out exactly as you want them to? That’s not the Jim Kirk I know. Besides, if you saw what you told me you did, I’d just about bet that that’s what Spock feels. It’s not as if he doesn’t show it in a hundred different ways that he cares for you—more than he cares for anyone else.”
“I know he cares about me. It’s...the rest of it I’m not so sure about.”
“I’d love to be able to help, but only Spock can answer that for you, Jim. From everything I know about him, I don’t think he’d be offended, no matter what else he feels, but he can’t answer you unless you ask him. And you’ve just had the perfect opportunity handed to you.”
“I don’t know if I can take the chance that he wouldn’t be offended, or, worse, take it as a betrayal of our friendship. If he were to leave...”
“I think you’re doing the man a disservice. He’s not going to hate you for feelings you have no control over. That wouldn’t be logical.”
Kirk snorted. “Somehow, I don’t think that after that kind of declaration that Spock would be thinking logically. It’s not every day a man finds out his commanding officer is in love with him.”
“Well, you’ve got an entire week to find out.”
“That, I do.” Kirk stood. “I should get back to the bridge.”
“I still think you should tell him.”
“We’ll see. Like you say, I’ve got a whole week.”
McCoy rose and came around the desk. He clapped Kirk on the back as he led him out of the office. “Just try to relax and have a good time.” He gave Kirk a studied look. “You’ve never been to Arzor, have you?”
“No. I’ve always wanted to visit the place but never seemed to have the time.”
“Well, while you’re there you need to make time to see the Caverns of the Hundred Gardens.”
“What’s so special about them?”
“You’d have to see them to understand. And Spock would have a field day there. I mean it, Jim, go see them. You won’t be sorry.”
~~~~~
McCoy stared at the screen, disturbed by what he was seeing. The swelling in Sanders’ arm wasn’t going down as fast as he’d have liked, so he had ordered more tests. The man’s white blood cell count was still way up. The medication was working, but it was taking its sweet time about it. The ensign would bear watching.
“He’s eating better.”
The doctor turned to find Nurse Chapel standing behind him, a tray in her hands. He surveyed the half empty plates that littered its surface.
“That’s good to hear. I was beginning to worry about him.”
“He’s lucky to be alive. What in the world was he thinking, allowing a bite to go unattended?”
“At that age, I doubt the thinking process has kicked in yet.” Not that it always did, McCoy thought. Just look at their esteemed captain. “Another twelve hours and we wouldn’t have been able to save him. He’s going to be here for at least another three or four days.”
“That means someone will have to stay with him, doesn’t it?” Chapel asked, and then straightened her shoulders as if resigned to her fate.
“Yes, but stopped worrying, it won’t be you. That’s what new interns are for,” he said with a wink.
Chapel laughed. “I’m sorry for Lisa, but I really don’t want to miss out on shore leave, though I hear the captain is.”
“News travels fast around this tub, doesn’t it?”
“It does, indeed. He’s off to Arzor, isn’t he?”
“That’s right. Be gone about a week.”
“Roger took me there once.”
McCoy smiled. It was nice that Christine could finally talk about Roger Corby without it causing pain. Exo III was years and parsecs away. All he could see from her was an old and tempered melancholy. “Did you go to the Caverns?”
“We most certainly did! We spent the most romantic three days there imaginable. For two people in love, nothing else comes close to that place.” She looked at McCoy curiously. “Have you been there?”
“A long time ago.” He and his ex-wife had gone there trying to rekindle the feelings that had brought them together. It hadn’t worked. At that point, McCoy thought probably nothing would have.
“I loved the Crystal cave. I’d never seen anything like it, crystals that grow like flowers, and in so many shapes and colors. I could have stayed in there for hours, but Roger was more interested in the water gardens—especially the last one.”
“That’s the one that leads out to a valley, isn’t it?” McCoy chuckled. “I’ve heard there’s some sort of aphrodisiac in the water.”
“I wouldn’t know, since you have to remove your clothes to get in.”
“What’s the matter, Christine? No sense of adventure?”
“More a sense of propriety.”
“There are lots of private pools. Besides, I doubt anyone’s interested in anything but the person they’re with.”
“I wasn’t about to take the chance,” she commented with a sniff. “I”m going to lunch now. Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“A sandwich and a cup of coffee would be nice. Thanks, Chris.”
She waved him off and started on her way. At the door, she stopped. “It’s such a shame that the captain doesn’t have someone to take with him.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know, I guess because sometimes he seems so lonely.” She snorted. “Or maybe I’m just reflecting my own situation onto him. I’ll be back.”
Oh, Chris, if you only knew.
He watched the door close behind her, and then turned back to his terminal. Switching it off, he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his abdomen. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake sending Kirk to the Caverns, but someone had to get their captain off his proverbial ass. He and Spock had been dancing around each other long enough.
It had been the first thing he’d noticed as he’d stepped off the transporter almost three years before. He’d known Kirk for years, yet he’d never seen him so attached to anyone, man or woman. He’d chalked it up to their professional need to rely on one another, but it hadn’t taken him long to see that it was more—much more.
He had to admit, it bothered him at first. He couldn’t understand what it was Kirk saw in the man that he’d made him his closest friend. To McCoy, they seemed like fire and ice, total opposites and completely incompatible. It had only been as he himself had gotten to know Spock that he came to understand that, underneath it all, Kirk and his Vulcan friend were more alike than not.
And whatever it was that bound the two men, time had only strengthened, and he hadn’t been at all surprised when Kirk had finally confessed his feelings for Spock to him.
Not surprised, but certainly concerned. Even though by then McCoy was positive Kirk’s feelings were returned, he could still see plenty of pitfalls—mainly, that this was one relationship where failure was not an option. There was no going back to being just friends if things didn’t work out. Not for Kirk, and certainly not for Spock.
But over the last month, McCoy had noticed a real change in both men. Whether they were aware of it or not, whatever it was that had bound them together had strengthened to the point that, except for the physical, they were already together. Why Kirk couldn’t see it was beyond him, but it was certainly obvious to anyone who bothered to look. They had become one; everything else was window dressing.
Well, if the Caverns couldn’t get them to take that last step, nothing could.
Satisfied that he’d made the right decision, he got up and made his way to the inner room and Ensign Sanders. He had work to do.
~~~~~
The trip to Arzor was uneventful, the six hours it had taken them to reach it after leaving the Enterprise mostly passed in companionable silence. While Spock read from the computer, Kirk had opened up the crash shields and watched the stars go by. Getting up only long enough to get a cup of coffee from the small galley in the back, he’d sat back and relaxed, letting his mind wander as it may. He’d also done his share of Spock-watching, allowing his eyes to slide over for a stolen glance from time to time. The sight of his first officer, deeply engrossed in his reading, had been too hard to resist.
Still, it was a relief to reach their destination. They landed in early evening, the sun only just beginning to set. They went straight to their hotel, where Kirk was happy to find that they were in a different one from where most of the delegates were housed. They’d have to walk a little further to the ceremonies, but it was a price he was more than willing to pay. Too many diplomats, impressed with his position as captain of one of only a dozen starships, didn’t seem to notice that he wasn’t necessarily impressed with them. It made for long, tedious conversations—usually of the one-sided variety.
They signed in and took the elevator up to their room. Almost a suite, Kirk noticed with surprise as he opened the door. The large room was dominated by the conversation area in the middle, with a small kitchen to one side counterbalanced by the spacious sleeping area on the other. But what really drew the eye was the spectacular view of the ocean from its balcony.
“This is nice,” Kirk said as he opened the door onto the balcony and walked out. It was spring in this section of the planet and the ocean air was pleasantly brisk. He stood against the railing and took a deep breath. No matter the planet, the sea always seemed to smell the same.
Spock stepped out and stood at his side. “I recall my first sight of Earth’s oceans. My father had finally allowed me to accompany him on one of his diplomatic missions, but as most of his time was taken with conferences, I was left to my own devises much of the time.”
Kirk turned to look at his friend. “What did you think?”
“That is was one of the most wondrous sights I had ever seen. So much water, filled with every conceivable form of life. For the first time I truly understood why it was called ‘the cradle of life.’”
“I’ve always loved the water. There were plenty of rivers where I grew up.” He looked back out onto the vast body of water that stretched before them. “But something like this... My first view of the ocean, well, I acted just as you’d imagine a young kid straight off the farm would act. I vowed right then and there that I’d spend as much time there as I could. And during those years at the Academy, I even managed a handful of rides out onto the water. It was amazing.” He chuckled. “As you might expect, I thought the only thing that could be better than being out on the ocean was being out in space.”
“I would not have thought the two at all similar.”
“Oh, but they are. You leave solid ground behind and venture out into the uncharted reaches. Well,” he grinned, “as uncharted as you can get on Earth.”
“Then you have always been attracted to the unknown, the alien.”
“I’m not sure I’d describe it that way. Not so much the alien as unique, completely separate from the mundane or...”
“Safe?”
He frowned. “No, there’s more to it than that. Yes, the challenge is part of it, but not all of it. Not even most of it. It’s—I’m not sure if I can explain.”
“Please, try.”
Kirk didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he lowered his head and tried to pull together all the thoughts he’d had on why he was the way he was and why he wanted what he wanted. Finally, he lifted his head but kept his eyes on the water.
“When I was six, my dad decided I was old enough to raise and train my own horse. So we went to the corral and he let me pick from several of the yearlings. There was one in particular I’d always been intrigued by. He was jet black and full of spirit, so he’s the one I chose. My dad said no at first, said he was too high-strung and that I’d have too much trouble with him. But you know me, I argued and cajoled until I got my way.
“Well, he was right. It took forever for that horse to let me near him. But by the time he was old enough to saddle, we were the best of friends. Now, why did I pick that particular horse? At the time I probably couldn’t have given you an answer, or I would have said it was his color or his size. But it wasn’t anything like that; there was just something about that horse that drew me to him. It wasn’t until years later that I came to realize it was because, underneath it all, he was just like me.”
“I would not have thought to describe you as ‘high-strung, much less as having traits similar to an equine.’”
“You’d be surprised. Maybe we weren’t the same species, but we were both going to go our own way, no matter what the consequences. And we both demanded that of anyone we let close. In an odd sort of way, I think I make that demand of everything, not just people.”
“You wish to face an equal.”
“I suppose, but you can’t always have what you want. I remember my mom telling me more than once that I shouldn’t ask for the moon,” Kirk added with a grin.
“Why would you wish for the moon?”
“It’s an old saying, from before man had ever stepped foot on the moon. It was considered out of reach, unobtainable.”
“Did she not think you deserved it?”
“Oh, I’m sure she did. It’s just that she didn’t want me to be so conceited that I thought I deserved only the best.”
“You do deserve only the best. You are a unique and superior person; there is no crime in claiming your due.”
Kirk looked at Spock then. “I’ve never heard you speak quite that way about me.”
“You know of my regard.”
“Yes, I do, but I’ve never heard you put it so...emotionally.”
Spock stiffened slightly. “Though I would not have put it quite that way, I have found that, occasionally, the use of...solicitude is justifiable.”
Kirk grinned. “I’m not sure, but I think you just said it was okay to sometimes let your feelings show.” At Spock’s start of protest, Kirk raised his hands and waved him off. “No, I don’t want to argue about it. Let’s just say we enjoy each other’s company and leave it at that. Come on, let’s get our stuff put away and go out for dinner.”
Spock bowed his head and gave Kirk one of those smiles that always did crazy things to his insides.
They swiftly put their things in order and left for dinner. As they walked down the thoroughfare, the air warm but refreshing against his face, Kirk figured this was either going to be the best week he’d ever had, or the worst.
~~~~~
There didn’t turn out to be as much time to enjoy each other’s company as Kirk had figured. Meetings, state dinners and just being cornered by one diplomat or the other, kept both men so busy that what little time they spent in their rooms outside of sleep was taken up with either getting ready to go somewhere or undressing and falling into bed after coming back.
But, finally, the closing ceremony was over and done with and all that was left was the state dinner and ball. With the delegates all going their own ways after that, he and Spock would finally have time alone. Kirk hoped he had the opportunity, not to mention the nerve, to finally let Spock know exactly how he felt.
They had all been ushered into a large banquet hall and Kirk had been stopped several times for one last discussion or complaint by one delegate or other as he’d worked his way through the sea of tables to finally find his place. He’d taken a seat and been glad for the waiter who’d immediately filled his glass with water. With this many people, the room was already struggling to stay cool.
He looked around. The area to one side had been opened up as a dance floor, the music barely heard over the din of conversation. Kirk smothered a grin as the thought of taking Spock out on that floor flitted through his mind. He knew the Arzorians wouldn’t be shocked; from what he’d heard, not much could rattle the ‘live and let live’ denizens of the planet. What Spock’s reactions would be....
He could only just see his friend in the crowded dining room. While Kirk had been seated at a table near the front of the room, between the ambassador from Rigel and an Arzorian delegate, Spock had been consigned to an area further back, seated among the less influential—which, Kirk had to admit, was probably preferable. Next to his first officer was a lovely young woman who appeared totally engrossed in her conversation with Spock. Spock didn’t look too put out by her attentions, either.
“Have you enjoyed your time on Arzor, Captain Kirk?”
He turned to the man beside him. Brandon Parker wasn’t your everyday delegate. He was from a First Ship family, his forebears having settled the planet over a hundred years earlier. A sturdily built man with hands that gave away his occupation as rancher and owner of one of the largest spreads on the planet, Kirk could see the intellect sparkling from his gray eyes.
“I haven’t had time to see much of it, yet.”
The man grinned. “Yes, I imagine we’ve caused no end of headaches for the Federation. I don’t think they realized how stubborn some of us can be.”
“You’re only looking out for your planet, Mr. Parker. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Always the diplomat, eh, Captain?” the man remarked with humor but then sobered. “It’s given me and mine a wonderful life. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to make sure it stays the way it is.”
“I doubt you’ll have any worries on that account. The Federation wants only the best for your planet.” Not wanting to get into yet another political discussion, Kirk switched gears. “Speaking of the best your planet has to offer, I’ve heard some wonderful things about the Caverns of a Hundred Gardens. Are they nearby?”
Parker gave him an odd look. “Not really. They’re about two hundred kilometers to the south of the city. Are you planning on visiting them?”
“I’m thinking about it. They were recommended by my chief medical officer.”
“And you’re planning a visit on your own?”
“Oh, no, I’d be taking my first officer with me.” Kirk turned and after a quick scan, pointed Spock out. “He’s over there.”
Parker leaned back to get a better view. “The Vulcan?”
“That’s right.” Kirk turned back to the man, having caught a wary note in his voice. “Will that be a problem?”
“No, no problem. I’m just surprised, that’s all. The Gardens aren’t exactly a place I’d imagine a Vulcan would care to visit.”
“Why not?”
Parker shrugged. “I suppose I’ve bought into the same stories as everyone else. ‘Vulcans are emotionless. Vulcans have no regard for beauty.’ That sort of thing.”
“No, they’re nothing like that.”
“Well, you’re the expert. Anyway, if you’d like, I can have a couple of tickets left at your hotel. This time of year, it might be hard for you to acquire them on your own. The Caverns can get pretty busy.”
“That would be most appreciated, Mr. Parker. How much are the tickets?”
“No charge. Just think of it as one man showing off his planet.”
“I’m truly grateful, but I couldn’t accept.”
“Starfleet policy?”
“That’s right, but I’m more than willing to pay for them.”
“Let me think.” Parker tapped his knuckles against his lips for a moment or two and then took out a small device from his coat pocket and turned it on. “How many days will you want to stay?”
“Days?”
“The place is huge, Captain. Most people stay at least two days.”
“I see.” Kirk thought about it. They wouldn’t be leaving for their rendezvous with the Enterprise for another four days. “Make it three.”
“Okay,” Parker responded as he coded in the information. “You’re at the Emerald Hotel, aren’t you?”
“That’s right.”
“Let’s see.” Parker studied the devise, and then punched in more codes. “Yes, that room will do nicely,” he mused, seemingly pleased with his selection. He finished his task and returned the devise to his pocket. “The tickets will be there first thing in the morning.”
“So how much do I owe you?”
“Nothing, I charged it against the Induction Ceremonies.”
“Mr. Parker—”
“Don’t argue, Captain. It’s the least I can do after your having to put up with all this hoopla. Besides, it’s already done.”
Kirk frowned at the man for a moment but then gave in gracefully. “All right, you win—and thanks.”
“My pleasure, Captain, my pleasure. I just hope it’s yours...and your first officer’s, of course.”
Kirk noted that odd tone in Parker’s voice once again, but before he could ask the man had turned and was speaking to the delegate on his other side. The rest of the meal was spent in conversation with the Rigellian on his left. A member of Rigel’s indigenous reptilian species, he seemed especially concerned that Arzor’s own native species continue to be well looked after, even if they weren’t sentient. It was, as Spock was so fond of saying, a fascinating discussion.
~~~~~
“My feet are killing me,” Kirk groused. His boots lay on the floor as he tried to rub away the ache in his right foot.
“The result of too much dancing, I would assume,” Spock remarked as he pulled out his pajamas from the top drawer of the bureau.
Kirk grinned ruefully. He’d had more fun than he had thought he would. Once the main delegates had begun to leave, a slow trickle that nevertheless did the job of emptying the place as the night wore on, Kirk had made his way over to Spock’s table. There, he’d been introduced to the others, including the beautiful Arzorian who was clearly smitten with his friend. Kirk had been surprised, and a bit put out at first, when Spock had agreed to her suggestion that they stay awhile.
But Kirk found that he couldn’t hold on to his annoyance when she proved to be such good company. She may have been attracted to Spock, but she obviously realized that a few dances and a lovely evening were all she was going to get out of him. And after she’d introduced Kirk to a few of her friends, he’d had little time to worry about what Spock was doing. Squiring each woman onto the dance floor—several times—it had surprised him when last call had been announced. He’d been persuaded to have one more dance, and then he and Spock had said their goodbyes.
The walk back to their hotel had been a quiet relief after the invigorating workout of the dance floor. The night was pleasant, and a cool breeze was blowing off the water, drying the perspiration from his body. Maybe Spock had settled for a few sedate waltzes, but Kirk had always loved to dance. Still, as soon as they came through the door, he had flopped down on the nearest chair and pulled off his boots.
“You taking a shower?” Kirk asked, having switched feet and was now working on his left one.
“That was my intention.”
Kirk removed his socks and then got up and approached the balcony door. “Do you mind if I keep this open tonight? It’s nice out.”
“No, not at all. It is a pleasant alternative to the artificial environment of the ship.”
“I’m sort of surprised that you would say something like that.”
“Why? I was raised in a natural setting—even if that setting was Vulcan.”
Kirk grinned, knowing he was being teased. He walked over and stretched out on his bed. Settling on his back, he closed his eyes. “If I fall asleep, wake me up when you’re done.”
“I shall do so.”
He heard the water turn on and let the sound of it soothe him. He smiled. Finally, he and Spock would have time just for each other. He thought about his friend, about what it was he wanted from him.
What would Spock say if Kirk were to walk in there right now? If he got up, removed his clothes and joined his friend in the shower? The image of the Vulcan in the next room, his body bare beneath the flowing water, appeared in his mind, stirring Kirk’s libido to life. He’d seen his friend naked plenty of times but he’d long ago learned to control his reaction so that it wouldn’t interfere with his duty; unfortunately, he wasn’t on duty right now. He reached down and tugged at his trousers, the burgeoning flesh uncomfortable. But while an extremely pleasant thought, sex wasn’t all he wanted from Spock.
He wanted everything. He wanted Spock in his arms and in his bed, the alien heat of that body next to his. He wanted that huge intellect at his beck and call, always there when he needed it, the best first officer in the fleet. He wanted Spock’s mind in his, ‘never and always, touching and touched,’ remembering the ecstasy of the few melds he’d had with his friend. And he wanted Spock to want everything from him. Was that asking too much?
He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew Spock was gently touching his shoulder.
“I have completed my customary grooming for the night, Captain.”
“We’re on leave now, Spock. It’s ‘Jim,” Kirk groggily remarked.
“Yes, Jim.”
Kirk smiled at the humor in Spock’s voice and reluctantly opened his eyes. With a heartfelt groan he leveled himself off the bed and headed for the bathroom.
Under the invigorating spray, Kirk felt his muscles loosen until he was left with the almost pleasant ache of muscles used perhaps too well. He allowed himself a long and leisurely shower, knowing that Spock customarily used this time for meditation. When he finally dried off, throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms for modesty’s sake, and walked out into the outer room, Spock had already turned off his light and was buried under the covers.
Kirk settled himself into his own bed, propping himself up with both pillows. He wasn’t sleepy anymore. He looked over at Spock. His friend’s eyes were closed, but somehow Kirk knew he was still awake.
“I forgot to tell you, we’re checking out of here tomorrow.”
Spock opened his eyes. “I was under the impression that we still had four days before we needed to rendezvous with the Enterprise.”
“We do, but I’ve booked us somewhere else until then.”
Spock came up on one elbow and gave the room a once over. “Is there a problem with this one?”
“No, but I wanted us to spend some time at the Gardens.”
“To which gardens do you refer?”
“The Caverns of the Hundred Gardens. Have you heard of them?”
Spock stared at him a moment. “Yes, I have heard of them.”
Kirk frowned. “You’ve haven’t been there before, have you?”
“No, I have not.”
“Don’t you want to go? If not, I can—”
“No, Jim, I would very much appreciate seeing the Gardens with you.”
“Good, that’s good.” Kirk gave his friend another look before leaning over and picking up the book he’d brought along. He opened it to where he’d left off and began reading.
For several minutes, the only sounds in the room were that of Kirk turning the pages and the soft resonance of the ocean waves coming in through the open balcony door.
“Jim?”
Kirk looked up. “Yeah, Spock?”
“What made you decide on the Gardens?”
“Bones told me about them. He said they’d be just the place for us to visit.”
“Did he?” Spock quirked his eyebrow. “I do not often agree with the good doctor, but he does manage to produce a superior idea from time to time.”
“I’ll tell him you said that.”
“I will be interested in hearing his response.” Spock turned onto his other side and lay down so that his back was to Kirk. “Good night, Jim.”
“‘Night, Spock.”
Kirk returned to his book but was unable to give it his full attention. Something was niggling at the back of his mind. After a few minutes he put the book down in frustration. He couldn’t shake the impression that he’d missed something. Their conversation had seemed...odd, as if they’d been speaking at cross purposes.
He looked back at Spock, hoping to clarify the matter. He could see Spock’s chest slowly rise and fall and this time he knew his friend was asleep. Giving himself a mental shake, Kirk returned to his book. With a bit of effort, he finally managed to be drawn back into its story.
On to Pt 2
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: James Kirk/ Spock
Summary: Kirk takes Spock along on a diplomatic mission, hoping for an opportunity to discuss a future relationship between them after seeing what he thinks is reciprocated affection in a meld.
Notes: Originally published by Merry Men Press in First Time 64.
“Good afternoon, Captain.”
Kirk glanced over. Ensign Sawyer, only months out of the Academy and eager to please, waited for a response. He managed a halfhearted smile, and then almost instantly forgot about the young man. He had a lot on his mind.
Having walked the corridors of the ship for over thirty minutes, he was no closer to a resolution than when he’d started. The communiqué he’d received that morning, and Star Fleet’s response to his request, had his stomach churning. He’d been able to ignore it most of the morning, going through the motions, glad they weren’t in the middle of a crisis, but finally he’d left Spock in charge and departed the bridge.
He’d thought to return to his cabin; he needed time to think, but inevitably his steps had led him to sickbay. They always did when he had a problem. And, boy, did he have one now.
He entered sickbay to find the front area devoid of personal, but he could hear his friend speaking to someone in the back. Kirk walked over and stuck his head in.
“Got a moment, Bones?”
“Wait for me in my office,” McCoy said without so much as looking Kirk’s way.
Whatever McCoy and the hapless nurse (Kirk thought her name was Lisa but he wasn’t sure,) were discussing obviously took precedent, so he did what he was told and proceeded to McCoy’s office. He went in and sat down, propping his feet up on the desk while he waited. Unfortunately, that gave him even more time to think, which sent him right back to where he’d started. Because with every rethinking, he became more unsure of his course, more inclined to just forget the whole thing.
Thing was, he really didn’t want to forget about it. After three years, he finally had, well, not proof exactly, but a pretty good idea of where he stood in Spock’s affections. Now, all he had to do was figure out what to do with that knowledge.
He’d wanted Spock from that first sight of him as Kirk had materialized in the Enterprise’s transporter room and taken command of the ship. It had been Gary Mitchell who had stepped forward to greet their new captain, but it was the mysterious and, oh, so appealing Vulcan who had caught his eye—and held it.
But Spock was Vulcan, so Kirk hS pushed aside his attraction and got on with the business of being captain. He and Mitchell had picked up where they’d left off while at the Academy, being there for each other when one or the other were in need, yet not what Kirk would have called lovers. Mitchell’s preference had always been more for women, and while Kirk loved his friend he wasn’t in love with him. And Gary hadn’t minded at all that Kirk’s focus was more and more on Spock—when it wasn’t diverted by an attractive female. He’d kidded Kirk about it a couple of times, mostly figuring that Kirk was wasting his time, but wondering, too, what he saw in the Vulcan. Mitchell wasn’t Spock’s biggest fan.
Most of the time, though, he’d listened with mild amusement and then grabbed Kirk and made him forget about his fascination for Spock, even if for only a little while. It was a convenient situation that lasted until they’d run into the force at the end of the galaxy and everything had gone to hell.
After that, Kirk found himself turning even more toward his science officer, to the point that making him his First had only seemed, to borrow a phrase, logical. With time, Spock had lowered his defensive shields and allowed Kirk to see the man behind them. It hadn’t taken long for Kirk’s attraction to turn to love. But that isn’t what Spock was offering, so he’d convinced himself that having Spock’s friendship was enough; it had to be.
Kirk continued his quest for female companionship, even thinking himself in love with a couple of them, only to somehow always end up where he’d begun, with Spock always at his side. Then came the distress call from Camus II.
Kirk shuddered. In the month since his being trapped in Janice Lester’s body, he’d woken more than once, his heart pounding and his body drenched in sweat, his captivity having replayed in his sleep, but with a decidedly more unpleasant ending. He would take deep breaths and try to relax as the last tendrils of his nightmares released him. Kirk had never thought of himself as someone who held on to hate, but in those dark hours of the night, he hated Janice Lester.
Yet, ironically, from what was probably the worst thing he had ever experienced, had come hope that perhaps what he had always considered out of reach was already in his hands.
The meld. God, he loved melding with Spock. It had never happened except when they were in danger, yet Kirk had come to crave the indescribable feeling of his friend’s mind sliding into his. And no matter how hard Spock tried not to let Kirk see into his, some of Spock always filtered through. His friend must have been more disturbed by the situation than he let on, because, this time, something very rare and precious had slipped through.
Kirk closed his eyes, remembering the surge of love and desire he’d felt through the meld. His body and mind had responded and he’d felt a moisture gather between his legs as his mind surged toward Spock’s. It had been all he could do not to pull the Vulcan into an embrace.
In the reality of their minds, it was if he had—or that Spock had. He could feel the Vulcan’s large hands all over him, caressing his back and buttocks, pulling him close so that he could feel Spock’s erection through their clothing.
Afterwards, when he was back in his own body and Lester was off his ship, he’d been ready to go to Spock’s cabin, grab his friend and make wild, passionate love. He’d even managed to start the journey, going directly there after McCoy had given him a once-over and released him from sickbay. But the closer he got to Spock’s quarters, the more he questioned what exactly it was he’d seen.
Okay, so Spock loved him. Well, he’d sort of known that already. But desire? Was that really what he’d seen? Or was it maybe desire for the female body, somehow mixed up with his emotional connection to Kirk, which Kirk had mistakenly thought of as desire for him? No longer sure of what he’d seen, he continued past Spock’s door and proceeded on to his own cabin.
“What can I do for you, Jim?”
Kirk’s eyes flew open and he straightened in the chair, his feet hitting the floor as McCoy entered the room and took his seat.
“What was that all about?” Kirk asked with a nod to the outer room.
McCoy eyed him a moment, as if seeing the question as the dodge that it was. “Sanders isn’t doing as well as he should be, so I’ve upped his medication and I’m having him watched closely.” He sighed. “I really do wish these kids would tell me when something doesn’t feel right.”
Ensign Sanders had been bitten by a small reptile-like creature during a landing party on a newly discovered planet. Not thinking it serious, he’d failed to report the injury until his hand had begun to swell and he’d started running a fever. By the time he landed in sickbay, he was having convulsions.
“Is he going to be all right?”
“Yeah, I think so, but he’s going to be miserable for awhile.”
“I’ll talk to him once he’s out of sickbay.”
“You do that.” McCoy leaned backed, pursing his lips as he studied Kirk.
“What?”
“I guess I should be asking you that. You wanted to talk. So talk.”
“You know, I hate when you do that.”
“So you’ve said. Now, are you going to beat around the bush some more or are you going to get on with it? I don’t have all day.”
Kirk gave the doctor a sour look. He really did hate that McCoy could read him so well. “I got a communiqué this morning. Star Fleet wants me to head for Arzor. It seems they’ve finally come to an agreement about joining the Federation as a full-fledged member rather than just a colony world.”
“It’s about time. It’s been, what, fifteen years since the subject was first brought up?”
“Something like that. Who would have thought a planet settled by humans would have so many objections to full membership?”
“They’re a pretty hedonistic society. Maybe they figured the Federation might be a bit too staid for their tastes. After all, one of the reasons they left was because Earth wouldn’t allow them multiple spouses.”
“It’s allowed on a few of the Federation’s member planets so it’s obviously no longer a problem. Personally, I think it had more to do with having to pay taxes to the Federation that was a sticking point.”
“Didn’t they call on the Federation when they were having that epidemic a couple of years back? They must have realized all that medical personal and equipment didn’t come cheap.”
“Not to mention that we’re responsible for their protection. This ship doesn’t come cheap, either. Anyway, the ship’s heading in that direction but I’ll be leaving by shuttle in the morning while the Enterprise heads for Starbase seven and some R and R.”
“And don’t think I’m not looking forward to that. Last shore leave was over six months ago.”
Kirk chuckled. “Don’t I know it.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“About a week. I’ll contact Scotty when the ceremonies have been wrapped up and arrange a rendezvous point.”
“It’s too bad you won’t be coming along with us. Scotty already has a couple of places lined up.”
“Yes, I’ve heard him rhapsodize more than once about that particular starbase.”
“If there’s a place with plenty of women and wine, Scotty’ll find it.” McCoy enthusiastically rubbed his hands together. “And I can hardly wait to see them.”
“You two ever going to settle down?”
McCoy gave him a look. “I’m not planning on it—and I’d be surprised if Scotty was. Not all of us are slowing down, you know.”
“Is that a complaint?”
“Let’s just say I was surprised when you agreed to go with us.”
Kirk shrugged. “I’m ready for some time off. Believe it or not, I was looking forward to it.”
“Arzor has some pretty fine places, too. Not that they can give the base a run for its money, but certainly exciting enough for you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kirk waved him off before McCoy could reply. “I’ve heard Arzor is nice enough, and it isn’t as if I won’t have plenty of free time.” Induction ceremonies were notorious for being long on formality but short on substance. Most of the day would be his own. He hesitated, not sure how McCoy would take his next statement. “I’m taking Spock with me.”
“Ah.” McCoy nodded knowingly. “You’re worried Star Fleet won’t like the idea.”
“No, ‘Fleet thought it was a pretty good idea. The Arzorians actually have a lot of respect for Vulcan, which is sort of odd when you think about it, so Spock’s going along could only help matters. That’s not the problem.”
McCoy gave a long-suffering sigh. “You haven’t told him yet, have you?”
Kirk slowly shook his head and frowned just thinking about it. “How do you tell somehow something like that?”
“I don’t know, getting down on bended knee seems to have worked for a lot of guys.”
“Right. ‘I think I might have seen that you love me, Mr. Spock. How about getting married?’”
“Why not? From what you told me, it’s what he wants, too.”
Kirk shook his head. “I think that’s what I saw, but what if I’m wrong, Bones? What if what I saw was what I wanted to see?”
“What’s the matter, Jim, afraid of a little rejection?” He held up his hand before Kirk could interrupt. “Not take the chance just because things might not work out exactly as you want them to? That’s not the Jim Kirk I know. Besides, if you saw what you told me you did, I’d just about bet that that’s what Spock feels. It’s not as if he doesn’t show it in a hundred different ways that he cares for you—more than he cares for anyone else.”
“I know he cares about me. It’s...the rest of it I’m not so sure about.”
“I’d love to be able to help, but only Spock can answer that for you, Jim. From everything I know about him, I don’t think he’d be offended, no matter what else he feels, but he can’t answer you unless you ask him. And you’ve just had the perfect opportunity handed to you.”
“I don’t know if I can take the chance that he wouldn’t be offended, or, worse, take it as a betrayal of our friendship. If he were to leave...”
“I think you’re doing the man a disservice. He’s not going to hate you for feelings you have no control over. That wouldn’t be logical.”
Kirk snorted. “Somehow, I don’t think that after that kind of declaration that Spock would be thinking logically. It’s not every day a man finds out his commanding officer is in love with him.”
“Well, you’ve got an entire week to find out.”
“That, I do.” Kirk stood. “I should get back to the bridge.”
“I still think you should tell him.”
“We’ll see. Like you say, I’ve got a whole week.”
McCoy rose and came around the desk. He clapped Kirk on the back as he led him out of the office. “Just try to relax and have a good time.” He gave Kirk a studied look. “You’ve never been to Arzor, have you?”
“No. I’ve always wanted to visit the place but never seemed to have the time.”
“Well, while you’re there you need to make time to see the Caverns of the Hundred Gardens.”
“What’s so special about them?”
“You’d have to see them to understand. And Spock would have a field day there. I mean it, Jim, go see them. You won’t be sorry.”
McCoy stared at the screen, disturbed by what he was seeing. The swelling in Sanders’ arm wasn’t going down as fast as he’d have liked, so he had ordered more tests. The man’s white blood cell count was still way up. The medication was working, but it was taking its sweet time about it. The ensign would bear watching.
“He’s eating better.”
The doctor turned to find Nurse Chapel standing behind him, a tray in her hands. He surveyed the half empty plates that littered its surface.
“That’s good to hear. I was beginning to worry about him.”
“He’s lucky to be alive. What in the world was he thinking, allowing a bite to go unattended?”
“At that age, I doubt the thinking process has kicked in yet.” Not that it always did, McCoy thought. Just look at their esteemed captain. “Another twelve hours and we wouldn’t have been able to save him. He’s going to be here for at least another three or four days.”
“That means someone will have to stay with him, doesn’t it?” Chapel asked, and then straightened her shoulders as if resigned to her fate.
“Yes, but stopped worrying, it won’t be you. That’s what new interns are for,” he said with a wink.
Chapel laughed. “I’m sorry for Lisa, but I really don’t want to miss out on shore leave, though I hear the captain is.”
“News travels fast around this tub, doesn’t it?”
“It does, indeed. He’s off to Arzor, isn’t he?”
“That’s right. Be gone about a week.”
“Roger took me there once.”
McCoy smiled. It was nice that Christine could finally talk about Roger Corby without it causing pain. Exo III was years and parsecs away. All he could see from her was an old and tempered melancholy. “Did you go to the Caverns?”
“We most certainly did! We spent the most romantic three days there imaginable. For two people in love, nothing else comes close to that place.” She looked at McCoy curiously. “Have you been there?”
“A long time ago.” He and his ex-wife had gone there trying to rekindle the feelings that had brought them together. It hadn’t worked. At that point, McCoy thought probably nothing would have.
“I loved the Crystal cave. I’d never seen anything like it, crystals that grow like flowers, and in so many shapes and colors. I could have stayed in there for hours, but Roger was more interested in the water gardens—especially the last one.”
“That’s the one that leads out to a valley, isn’t it?” McCoy chuckled. “I’ve heard there’s some sort of aphrodisiac in the water.”
“I wouldn’t know, since you have to remove your clothes to get in.”
“What’s the matter, Christine? No sense of adventure?”
“More a sense of propriety.”
“There are lots of private pools. Besides, I doubt anyone’s interested in anything but the person they’re with.”
“I wasn’t about to take the chance,” she commented with a sniff. “I”m going to lunch now. Do you want me to bring you anything?”
“A sandwich and a cup of coffee would be nice. Thanks, Chris.”
She waved him off and started on her way. At the door, she stopped. “It’s such a shame that the captain doesn’t have someone to take with him.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t know, I guess because sometimes he seems so lonely.” She snorted. “Or maybe I’m just reflecting my own situation onto him. I’ll be back.”
Oh, Chris, if you only knew.
He watched the door close behind her, and then turned back to his terminal. Switching it off, he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands over his abdomen. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake sending Kirk to the Caverns, but someone had to get their captain off his proverbial ass. He and Spock had been dancing around each other long enough.
It had been the first thing he’d noticed as he’d stepped off the transporter almost three years before. He’d known Kirk for years, yet he’d never seen him so attached to anyone, man or woman. He’d chalked it up to their professional need to rely on one another, but it hadn’t taken him long to see that it was more—much more.
He had to admit, it bothered him at first. He couldn’t understand what it was Kirk saw in the man that he’d made him his closest friend. To McCoy, they seemed like fire and ice, total opposites and completely incompatible. It had only been as he himself had gotten to know Spock that he came to understand that, underneath it all, Kirk and his Vulcan friend were more alike than not.
And whatever it was that bound the two men, time had only strengthened, and he hadn’t been at all surprised when Kirk had finally confessed his feelings for Spock to him.
Not surprised, but certainly concerned. Even though by then McCoy was positive Kirk’s feelings were returned, he could still see plenty of pitfalls—mainly, that this was one relationship where failure was not an option. There was no going back to being just friends if things didn’t work out. Not for Kirk, and certainly not for Spock.
But over the last month, McCoy had noticed a real change in both men. Whether they were aware of it or not, whatever it was that had bound them together had strengthened to the point that, except for the physical, they were already together. Why Kirk couldn’t see it was beyond him, but it was certainly obvious to anyone who bothered to look. They had become one; everything else was window dressing.
Well, if the Caverns couldn’t get them to take that last step, nothing could.
Satisfied that he’d made the right decision, he got up and made his way to the inner room and Ensign Sanders. He had work to do.
The trip to Arzor was uneventful, the six hours it had taken them to reach it after leaving the Enterprise mostly passed in companionable silence. While Spock read from the computer, Kirk had opened up the crash shields and watched the stars go by. Getting up only long enough to get a cup of coffee from the small galley in the back, he’d sat back and relaxed, letting his mind wander as it may. He’d also done his share of Spock-watching, allowing his eyes to slide over for a stolen glance from time to time. The sight of his first officer, deeply engrossed in his reading, had been too hard to resist.
Still, it was a relief to reach their destination. They landed in early evening, the sun only just beginning to set. They went straight to their hotel, where Kirk was happy to find that they were in a different one from where most of the delegates were housed. They’d have to walk a little further to the ceremonies, but it was a price he was more than willing to pay. Too many diplomats, impressed with his position as captain of one of only a dozen starships, didn’t seem to notice that he wasn’t necessarily impressed with them. It made for long, tedious conversations—usually of the one-sided variety.
They signed in and took the elevator up to their room. Almost a suite, Kirk noticed with surprise as he opened the door. The large room was dominated by the conversation area in the middle, with a small kitchen to one side counterbalanced by the spacious sleeping area on the other. But what really drew the eye was the spectacular view of the ocean from its balcony.
“This is nice,” Kirk said as he opened the door onto the balcony and walked out. It was spring in this section of the planet and the ocean air was pleasantly brisk. He stood against the railing and took a deep breath. No matter the planet, the sea always seemed to smell the same.
Spock stepped out and stood at his side. “I recall my first sight of Earth’s oceans. My father had finally allowed me to accompany him on one of his diplomatic missions, but as most of his time was taken with conferences, I was left to my own devises much of the time.”
Kirk turned to look at his friend. “What did you think?”
“That is was one of the most wondrous sights I had ever seen. So much water, filled with every conceivable form of life. For the first time I truly understood why it was called ‘the cradle of life.’”
“I’ve always loved the water. There were plenty of rivers where I grew up.” He looked back out onto the vast body of water that stretched before them. “But something like this... My first view of the ocean, well, I acted just as you’d imagine a young kid straight off the farm would act. I vowed right then and there that I’d spend as much time there as I could. And during those years at the Academy, I even managed a handful of rides out onto the water. It was amazing.” He chuckled. “As you might expect, I thought the only thing that could be better than being out on the ocean was being out in space.”
“I would not have thought the two at all similar.”
“Oh, but they are. You leave solid ground behind and venture out into the uncharted reaches. Well,” he grinned, “as uncharted as you can get on Earth.”
“Then you have always been attracted to the unknown, the alien.”
“I’m not sure I’d describe it that way. Not so much the alien as unique, completely separate from the mundane or...”
“Safe?”
He frowned. “No, there’s more to it than that. Yes, the challenge is part of it, but not all of it. Not even most of it. It’s—I’m not sure if I can explain.”
“Please, try.”
Kirk didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he lowered his head and tried to pull together all the thoughts he’d had on why he was the way he was and why he wanted what he wanted. Finally, he lifted his head but kept his eyes on the water.
“When I was six, my dad decided I was old enough to raise and train my own horse. So we went to the corral and he let me pick from several of the yearlings. There was one in particular I’d always been intrigued by. He was jet black and full of spirit, so he’s the one I chose. My dad said no at first, said he was too high-strung and that I’d have too much trouble with him. But you know me, I argued and cajoled until I got my way.
“Well, he was right. It took forever for that horse to let me near him. But by the time he was old enough to saddle, we were the best of friends. Now, why did I pick that particular horse? At the time I probably couldn’t have given you an answer, or I would have said it was his color or his size. But it wasn’t anything like that; there was just something about that horse that drew me to him. It wasn’t until years later that I came to realize it was because, underneath it all, he was just like me.”
“I would not have thought to describe you as ‘high-strung, much less as having traits similar to an equine.’”
“You’d be surprised. Maybe we weren’t the same species, but we were both going to go our own way, no matter what the consequences. And we both demanded that of anyone we let close. In an odd sort of way, I think I make that demand of everything, not just people.”
“You wish to face an equal.”
“I suppose, but you can’t always have what you want. I remember my mom telling me more than once that I shouldn’t ask for the moon,” Kirk added with a grin.
“Why would you wish for the moon?”
“It’s an old saying, from before man had ever stepped foot on the moon. It was considered out of reach, unobtainable.”
“Did she not think you deserved it?”
“Oh, I’m sure she did. It’s just that she didn’t want me to be so conceited that I thought I deserved only the best.”
“You do deserve only the best. You are a unique and superior person; there is no crime in claiming your due.”
Kirk looked at Spock then. “I’ve never heard you speak quite that way about me.”
“You know of my regard.”
“Yes, I do, but I’ve never heard you put it so...emotionally.”
Spock stiffened slightly. “Though I would not have put it quite that way, I have found that, occasionally, the use of...solicitude is justifiable.”
Kirk grinned. “I’m not sure, but I think you just said it was okay to sometimes let your feelings show.” At Spock’s start of protest, Kirk raised his hands and waved him off. “No, I don’t want to argue about it. Let’s just say we enjoy each other’s company and leave it at that. Come on, let’s get our stuff put away and go out for dinner.”
Spock bowed his head and gave Kirk one of those smiles that always did crazy things to his insides.
They swiftly put their things in order and left for dinner. As they walked down the thoroughfare, the air warm but refreshing against his face, Kirk figured this was either going to be the best week he’d ever had, or the worst.
There didn’t turn out to be as much time to enjoy each other’s company as Kirk had figured. Meetings, state dinners and just being cornered by one diplomat or the other, kept both men so busy that what little time they spent in their rooms outside of sleep was taken up with either getting ready to go somewhere or undressing and falling into bed after coming back.
But, finally, the closing ceremony was over and done with and all that was left was the state dinner and ball. With the delegates all going their own ways after that, he and Spock would finally have time alone. Kirk hoped he had the opportunity, not to mention the nerve, to finally let Spock know exactly how he felt.
They had all been ushered into a large banquet hall and Kirk had been stopped several times for one last discussion or complaint by one delegate or other as he’d worked his way through the sea of tables to finally find his place. He’d taken a seat and been glad for the waiter who’d immediately filled his glass with water. With this many people, the room was already struggling to stay cool.
He looked around. The area to one side had been opened up as a dance floor, the music barely heard over the din of conversation. Kirk smothered a grin as the thought of taking Spock out on that floor flitted through his mind. He knew the Arzorians wouldn’t be shocked; from what he’d heard, not much could rattle the ‘live and let live’ denizens of the planet. What Spock’s reactions would be....
He could only just see his friend in the crowded dining room. While Kirk had been seated at a table near the front of the room, between the ambassador from Rigel and an Arzorian delegate, Spock had been consigned to an area further back, seated among the less influential—which, Kirk had to admit, was probably preferable. Next to his first officer was a lovely young woman who appeared totally engrossed in her conversation with Spock. Spock didn’t look too put out by her attentions, either.
“Have you enjoyed your time on Arzor, Captain Kirk?”
He turned to the man beside him. Brandon Parker wasn’t your everyday delegate. He was from a First Ship family, his forebears having settled the planet over a hundred years earlier. A sturdily built man with hands that gave away his occupation as rancher and owner of one of the largest spreads on the planet, Kirk could see the intellect sparkling from his gray eyes.
“I haven’t had time to see much of it, yet.”
The man grinned. “Yes, I imagine we’ve caused no end of headaches for the Federation. I don’t think they realized how stubborn some of us can be.”
“You’re only looking out for your planet, Mr. Parker. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Always the diplomat, eh, Captain?” the man remarked with humor but then sobered. “It’s given me and mine a wonderful life. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to make sure it stays the way it is.”
“I doubt you’ll have any worries on that account. The Federation wants only the best for your planet.” Not wanting to get into yet another political discussion, Kirk switched gears. “Speaking of the best your planet has to offer, I’ve heard some wonderful things about the Caverns of a Hundred Gardens. Are they nearby?”
Parker gave him an odd look. “Not really. They’re about two hundred kilometers to the south of the city. Are you planning on visiting them?”
“I’m thinking about it. They were recommended by my chief medical officer.”
“And you’re planning a visit on your own?”
“Oh, no, I’d be taking my first officer with me.” Kirk turned and after a quick scan, pointed Spock out. “He’s over there.”
Parker leaned back to get a better view. “The Vulcan?”
“That’s right.” Kirk turned back to the man, having caught a wary note in his voice. “Will that be a problem?”
“No, no problem. I’m just surprised, that’s all. The Gardens aren’t exactly a place I’d imagine a Vulcan would care to visit.”
“Why not?”
Parker shrugged. “I suppose I’ve bought into the same stories as everyone else. ‘Vulcans are emotionless. Vulcans have no regard for beauty.’ That sort of thing.”
“No, they’re nothing like that.”
“Well, you’re the expert. Anyway, if you’d like, I can have a couple of tickets left at your hotel. This time of year, it might be hard for you to acquire them on your own. The Caverns can get pretty busy.”
“That would be most appreciated, Mr. Parker. How much are the tickets?”
“No charge. Just think of it as one man showing off his planet.”
“I’m truly grateful, but I couldn’t accept.”
“Starfleet policy?”
“That’s right, but I’m more than willing to pay for them.”
“Let me think.” Parker tapped his knuckles against his lips for a moment or two and then took out a small device from his coat pocket and turned it on. “How many days will you want to stay?”
“Days?”
“The place is huge, Captain. Most people stay at least two days.”
“I see.” Kirk thought about it. They wouldn’t be leaving for their rendezvous with the Enterprise for another four days. “Make it three.”
“Okay,” Parker responded as he coded in the information. “You’re at the Emerald Hotel, aren’t you?”
“That’s right.”
“Let’s see.” Parker studied the devise, and then punched in more codes. “Yes, that room will do nicely,” he mused, seemingly pleased with his selection. He finished his task and returned the devise to his pocket. “The tickets will be there first thing in the morning.”
“So how much do I owe you?”
“Nothing, I charged it against the Induction Ceremonies.”
“Mr. Parker—”
“Don’t argue, Captain. It’s the least I can do after your having to put up with all this hoopla. Besides, it’s already done.”
Kirk frowned at the man for a moment but then gave in gracefully. “All right, you win—and thanks.”
“My pleasure, Captain, my pleasure. I just hope it’s yours...and your first officer’s, of course.”
Kirk noted that odd tone in Parker’s voice once again, but before he could ask the man had turned and was speaking to the delegate on his other side. The rest of the meal was spent in conversation with the Rigellian on his left. A member of Rigel’s indigenous reptilian species, he seemed especially concerned that Arzor’s own native species continue to be well looked after, even if they weren’t sentient. It was, as Spock was so fond of saying, a fascinating discussion.
“My feet are killing me,” Kirk groused. His boots lay on the floor as he tried to rub away the ache in his right foot.
“The result of too much dancing, I would assume,” Spock remarked as he pulled out his pajamas from the top drawer of the bureau.
Kirk grinned ruefully. He’d had more fun than he had thought he would. Once the main delegates had begun to leave, a slow trickle that nevertheless did the job of emptying the place as the night wore on, Kirk had made his way over to Spock’s table. There, he’d been introduced to the others, including the beautiful Arzorian who was clearly smitten with his friend. Kirk had been surprised, and a bit put out at first, when Spock had agreed to her suggestion that they stay awhile.
But Kirk found that he couldn’t hold on to his annoyance when she proved to be such good company. She may have been attracted to Spock, but she obviously realized that a few dances and a lovely evening were all she was going to get out of him. And after she’d introduced Kirk to a few of her friends, he’d had little time to worry about what Spock was doing. Squiring each woman onto the dance floor—several times—it had surprised him when last call had been announced. He’d been persuaded to have one more dance, and then he and Spock had said their goodbyes.
The walk back to their hotel had been a quiet relief after the invigorating workout of the dance floor. The night was pleasant, and a cool breeze was blowing off the water, drying the perspiration from his body. Maybe Spock had settled for a few sedate waltzes, but Kirk had always loved to dance. Still, as soon as they came through the door, he had flopped down on the nearest chair and pulled off his boots.
“You taking a shower?” Kirk asked, having switched feet and was now working on his left one.
“That was my intention.”
Kirk removed his socks and then got up and approached the balcony door. “Do you mind if I keep this open tonight? It’s nice out.”
“No, not at all. It is a pleasant alternative to the artificial environment of the ship.”
“I’m sort of surprised that you would say something like that.”
“Why? I was raised in a natural setting—even if that setting was Vulcan.”
Kirk grinned, knowing he was being teased. He walked over and stretched out on his bed. Settling on his back, he closed his eyes. “If I fall asleep, wake me up when you’re done.”
“I shall do so.”
He heard the water turn on and let the sound of it soothe him. He smiled. Finally, he and Spock would have time just for each other. He thought about his friend, about what it was he wanted from him.
What would Spock say if Kirk were to walk in there right now? If he got up, removed his clothes and joined his friend in the shower? The image of the Vulcan in the next room, his body bare beneath the flowing water, appeared in his mind, stirring Kirk’s libido to life. He’d seen his friend naked plenty of times but he’d long ago learned to control his reaction so that it wouldn’t interfere with his duty; unfortunately, he wasn’t on duty right now. He reached down and tugged at his trousers, the burgeoning flesh uncomfortable. But while an extremely pleasant thought, sex wasn’t all he wanted from Spock.
He wanted everything. He wanted Spock in his arms and in his bed, the alien heat of that body next to his. He wanted that huge intellect at his beck and call, always there when he needed it, the best first officer in the fleet. He wanted Spock’s mind in his, ‘never and always, touching and touched,’ remembering the ecstasy of the few melds he’d had with his friend. And he wanted Spock to want everything from him. Was that asking too much?
He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew Spock was gently touching his shoulder.
“I have completed my customary grooming for the night, Captain.”
“We’re on leave now, Spock. It’s ‘Jim,” Kirk groggily remarked.
“Yes, Jim.”
Kirk smiled at the humor in Spock’s voice and reluctantly opened his eyes. With a heartfelt groan he leveled himself off the bed and headed for the bathroom.
Under the invigorating spray, Kirk felt his muscles loosen until he was left with the almost pleasant ache of muscles used perhaps too well. He allowed himself a long and leisurely shower, knowing that Spock customarily used this time for meditation. When he finally dried off, throwing on a pair of pajama bottoms for modesty’s sake, and walked out into the outer room, Spock had already turned off his light and was buried under the covers.
Kirk settled himself into his own bed, propping himself up with both pillows. He wasn’t sleepy anymore. He looked over at Spock. His friend’s eyes were closed, but somehow Kirk knew he was still awake.
“I forgot to tell you, we’re checking out of here tomorrow.”
Spock opened his eyes. “I was under the impression that we still had four days before we needed to rendezvous with the Enterprise.”
“We do, but I’ve booked us somewhere else until then.”
Spock came up on one elbow and gave the room a once over. “Is there a problem with this one?”
“No, but I wanted us to spend some time at the Gardens.”
“To which gardens do you refer?”
“The Caverns of the Hundred Gardens. Have you heard of them?”
Spock stared at him a moment. “Yes, I have heard of them.”
Kirk frowned. “You’ve haven’t been there before, have you?”
“No, I have not.”
“Don’t you want to go? If not, I can—”
“No, Jim, I would very much appreciate seeing the Gardens with you.”
“Good, that’s good.” Kirk gave his friend another look before leaning over and picking up the book he’d brought along. He opened it to where he’d left off and began reading.
For several minutes, the only sounds in the room were that of Kirk turning the pages and the soft resonance of the ocean waves coming in through the open balcony door.
“Jim?”
Kirk looked up. “Yeah, Spock?”
“What made you decide on the Gardens?”
“Bones told me about them. He said they’d be just the place for us to visit.”
“Did he?” Spock quirked his eyebrow. “I do not often agree with the good doctor, but he does manage to produce a superior idea from time to time.”
“I’ll tell him you said that.”
“I will be interested in hearing his response.” Spock turned onto his other side and lay down so that his back was to Kirk. “Good night, Jim.”
“‘Night, Spock.”
Kirk returned to his book but was unable to give it his full attention. Something was niggling at the back of his mind. After a few minutes he put the book down in frustration. He couldn’t shake the impression that he’d missed something. Their conversation had seemed...odd, as if they’d been speaking at cross purposes.
He looked back at Spock, hoping to clarify the matter. He could see Spock’s chest slowly rise and fall and this time he knew his friend was asleep. Giving himself a mental shake, Kirk returned to his book. With a bit of effort, he finally managed to be drawn back into its story.
On to Pt 2
