A Common Odyssey (K/S) Pt 5 of 5
Jun. 8th, 2010 04:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseTitle: A Common Odyssey
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Notes: Kirk and Spock end up in a Romulan prison after the ship they are passengers on is taken by Orion slavers.
Originally published in First Time 57 by Merry Men Press (July 2003)
"Okay, let's take a break." Kirk unslung his pack and settled on an old stump. The clearing they were crossing was probably the best place they'd find to take a rest.
Spock watched Kirk with ill-concealed concern. The continued strain of keeping his temper in check was beginning to wear on the human. Their day had started just like the rest, climbing out of their lean-to after a fitful night's sleep, only to begin anew their endless journey. But this one had been their worst so far.
It had begun soon after their meager breakfast. Ranulf had started asking questions. Questions that Kirk obviously found unsettling. What did Starfleet think of its officers having intimate relations? Was homosexuality accepted on Earth? Questions that neither had good answers for.
"I'll be right back." Ranulf dropped his burden and took off for the privacy of a nearby stand of trees.
"Alone at last." Kirk gave him a tired grin and started helping Spock lay out the blanket he had pulled from his pack.
Spock returned the smile, trying to convey his understanding. He knew the feeling well. They both sat down and in an uncharacteristic move, he stretched out his legs and pulled his captain over to rest the human's head in his lap.
"This feels great." Kirk grabbed Spock's hand and placed a kiss on the palm. "I'd do more, but I don't think I have the strength."
Spock looked fondly down and began stroking his lover's forehead, running his fingers through the hair that now curled haphazardly. They were both in need of haircuts.
Kirk brought his hand up and returned the caress. "I like your hair this length," he said, almost as if he could hear Spock's thoughts.
"It is not regulation," Spock answered softly.
"That's okay. Neither are we." The human grew pensive.
"You are thinking of Ranulf's questions."
"Yeah, some. I think before I was able to push it out of my mind. We were prisoners, and it didn't look like that was going to change. Now..."
"Now you are concerned that there could be repercussions when, and if, we manage to make it back to Federation territory." Spock studied his lover for a moment. "You are aware that there is no going back for us. The bond is eternal."
"I know that. And I wouldn't want to even if I could. It's just that things could get difficult."
"You believe they would attempt to separate us?"
"No. I wouldn't allow that. And it's not even Starfleet I'm worried about. They don't particularly like their senior officers fraternizing, but they've always tended to look the other way. As long as it doesn't interfere with my ability to command, I don't think it'd be a problem for them."
"Then what is it you fear?"
"We were both pretty high profile before. If we get back there's going to be a feeding frenzy like you've never seen."
"I beg your pardon?"
Kirk smiled up fondly. "You don't fool me for a second, Spock. You haven't for a long time now."
Spock sighed. "Very well. I, too, have given thought to what we might face should we manage to return home."
"And?"
"And it is of no consequence. What we have," Spock bent his legs slightly so that Kirk lay against the incline of his lap, bringing them closer together, "is worth anything they could possibly do or say. You are my life. Without you I am not complete. There is no price I would not pay to remain at your side."
His lover pulled Spock to him and they met halfway in an embrace that brought their mouths together. For a while they lost themselves in the elemental contact of their kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Spock felt suddenly bereft.
Kirk's head dropped against Spock's chest. His words were spoken softly, but with all the intensity that personified this particular human. "I can't imagine not having you in my life. To turn, and not have you there next to me. I don't ever want to know what that feels like. I don't know if I could survive it."
The rustle of leaves brought them from the quiet place in their minds they had retreated to, and they looked up to see Ranulf walking out of the forest.
Kirk sighed as they pulled reluctantly apart. "I guess it was asking too much for something to come along and eat him," he said, only half in jest.
Spock tried to hide the amusement he felt. It would not do for their antipathy to Ranulf's presence to become too obvious. He gave Kirk a mildly disapproving look, but knew his bondmate was neither contrite nor fooled.
The Romulan threw himself on the blanket and pulled off his shoes. "My feet are killing me." He lay back and closed his eyes.
"Don't get too comfortable." Kirk scanned the sky and frowned at the clouds building to the north. "Looks like another storm's coming in. We need to get going pretty soon and find shelter."
Ranulf opened his eyes and squinted at the sun still high overhead. "We've got time. If I'm not mistaken, we should be reaching the river today. There's a series of caves near where we'll be crossing. We can spend the night there, cross first thing in the morning."
Spock motioned his bondmate to lie down. "Rest, Jim. I will wake you in twenty minutes."
Kirk seemed about to argue, but then lay down without a word.
With both men settled, Spock prepared to meditate. He closed his eyes and gave himself up to the inner calling of his mind.
~~~~~
"Ranulf."
Ranulf came awake with a start to find the Vulcan standing over him. He and the human were already set to go. He sat up, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes. "That was a fast twenty minutes."
"Nevertheless, it is time to go."
"Okay, okay. Give me a minute." He put his shoes on and stood. He looked around and took his bearings while Spock folded the blanket and stowed it in his pack. When the Vulcan was ready, Ranulf pointed ahead. "That way."
They began their journey once more. The rest of the day passed in relative silence. Ranulf could hear the two men behind him, one or the other making a comment from time to time, but for once he kept to himself. It seemed that he was going to have to rethink his previous assumptions.
These past days had done nothing to dampen his desire for the Vulcan, but neither had it lessened Spock's own connection to the human. If anything, it seemed to be growing, getting stronger day by day.
He had seen them earlier, wrapped together in a lovers' embrace, hungrily making love with only their mouths. His first instinct had been to snatch the Vulcan from Kirk's arms, force them apart. Instead he had stood in the shadows, watching, listening.
Their words, their terrible words had finally destroyed the last shred of hope that had sustained him throughout the days and nights of watching them grow ever closer. What should he do now? Now that he knew there was no future for him with Spock? Even if Kirk were to die, he would still lose. Spock would follow the human, gladly, joyously.
He still didn't understand it. What was it in Kirk that drew Spock to his side? He glanced back at the two men. They walked next to each other, perhaps a foot apart. Yet it was as if they were touching still. A blind man couldn't miss the aura that surrounded them, bound them fast.
"It looks like we're in for rain."
Kirk's words drew Ranulf's attention. He looked up into the rapidly darkening sky. "The river's not much further. Another hour at the most. We'll make it."
Forty minutes later, they heard the sound of running water. They followed the sound through the trees, the underbrush thickening the closer they got. With the river's roar loud in their ears, they came to the caves that would shelter them for the night.
The caves were all shallow, made sometime in the distant past when the river had filled the valley. They checked out a few before settling on one with an entrance covered over with enough brush to provide a wind break.
They eased into the small cavity. Not more than fifteen feet deep, its ceiling brushed Spock's head. He had to duck as he walked in.
"It seems to be adequate for our needs," the Vulcan noted.
"It'll do for the night, especially with the rain coming." Kirk surveyed their temporary home and then started unpacking.
Everything was done with an efficiency of movement. Lanterns were placed toward the back, safe from the elements. The food and water were positioned next to it.
The first sound of the approaching storm came with the distant roll of thunder. A sharp sting of cold rode in on the breeze that picked up and filtered through the brush to invade their shelter. Ranulf saw Kirk glance up from his work and throw the Vulcan a wicked smile. Spock looked quickly down, but was unable to hide the smile that lit the corners of his mouth.
Ranulf watched them as they set up their bedding. He had wondered what their choice would be. He wasn't surprised to see them make a bed for two out of their combined blankets. He remembered the warmth of the Vulcan he had shared as the three slept close in the narrow confines of their lean-tos. Perhaps this separateness was for the best. He turned away and prepared his own space across the length of the cave. It was not far enough.
~~~~~
Kirk woke to the sound of rain. The cave was still dark. He could see light outside, but it was the subdued glow of a heavily clouded sky. He looked down to gaze at his bondmate. Spock slept with his head resting on Kirk's chest, an arm thrown out to wrap around his lover's waist. Kirk raised his head to bring his mouth inches from a pointed ear.
"Time to get up, sleepyhead." He drew his finger down Spock's nose.
The Vulcan's hand came up and batted his away. "We still have thirty point three minutes."
"You don't want to get an early start?" Kirk teased.
Spock seemed to be listening, though his eyes never opened. "It may not be possible to ford the river at this time. The storm has intensified."
Kirk put his head back down. Spock was right. The wind was a constant howl, and water sheeted down the entrance to the cave. "I'd like to check it out, at least. I wonder how deep it is. We may have to build something to float the supplies across."
"That is a possibility." Spock readjusted the blankets and snuggled closer. "But for now, we are forced to stay under shelter. Go back to sleep, Jim."
Kirk chuckled and closed his eyes. He hadn't planned on falling back to sleep. Yet Spock's movements as he got up out of their bed were what brought him to wakefulness in what must have been hours later. It was lighter outside, and the rain had died down to a soft drizzle.
Ranulf stood at the entrance to the cave, looking out. "I don't know how long this will last. It's the rainy season up here. It could go on for days." He turned to them, then. "What do you think we should do?"
KIrk sat up and pushed the covers aside. "We see what it is we're dealing with."
Ranulf leaned forward and peered at the sky. "Now might be a good time."
Kirk agreed. He quickly dressed, and and the three men headed for the river bank. They struggled through the brush while trying to avoid the puddles that blocked the path time and again. They finally broke through and walked to the water's edge.
Kirk looked in dismay. The water was a good hundred feet across and running swiftly. "This is the narrowest crossing?"
The Romulan nodded. "It's not usually this bad. I don't think it'll be that deep. Most of the way we'll be able to touch bottom."
Kirk turned to him. "How well can you swim?"
Ranulf looked slightly uneasy. "I manage. It's not something I've done a lot of though."
"Great." Kirk shook his head. He knew he'd have no trouble with it. He was a strong swimmer. But he worried about his two companions. Spock knew how to swim, but rarely took the opportunity to improve. The Vulcan's heavier body mass gave him his added strength, but it also made staying afloat more difficult. Kirk glanced at Spock and saw the same troubled look that was on Ranulf's face.
Spock gave Kirk a resigned look. "It is our only option. We must get to the other side."
"You're right, unfortunately." Kirk studied his surroundings. "We're going to need some sturdy branches to lash together to build a raft for the supplies. If we make it big enough, the two of you can hold on to it while we cross."
"Does this mean we won't be trying it today?" Ranulf asked.
"We can use today to get everything ready. And the rest will do us good. We'll cross first thing in the morning. " Kirk glanced up. "If we're lucky, the storm will have passed by then."
"I wouldn't count on it." The Romulan turned away and started searching the river's edge for driftwood, picking up and discarding pieces as he went along.
Kirk returned the look from his bondmate. He smiled at Spock's near shrug, and the two men began their own search. It took them a few hours to gather what they needed. With nothing to cut the wood, the branches had to be of a particular length and thickness. They dragged them to the cave's entrance to form a pile just inside. The constant drizzle was a nuisance. And though it didn't interfere with their work, all three men were soaked through.
With their supply of branches growing, Ranulf began going through the underbrush. Pushing aside the damp leaves, he was able to find enough small pieces of wood dry enough that a fire would be possible.
By midday they had finished, and made their shelter just as the sky opened up and the rain began again in earnest.
"I don't know about you two, but I'm for a shower." Quickly discarding his wet and muddy clothes, Kirk stepped out into the rain. He stood, his arms outstretched, and let the water beat down on him. He lifted his face to the sky, closing his eyes and opening his mouth to drink the clear, cool liquid. He laughed and shook his hair out. It felt good to be clean.
A presence at his side brought his eyes open. Spock stood next to him, not quite so taken with the makeshift shower. His gaze was locked on his bondmate.
Kirk smiled and wished it was just the two of them here. This is how it would have been had they been allowed to continue to their original destination. He knew that with a certainty he could not question.
~~~~~
The water flowed swiftly past as the three men stood on its shores the next afternoon. The rain had fallen sporadically all night and into the morning, but at least for now they had been granted a reprieve. The sun was out. Light sparkled off the water's surface and a gentle breeze added to the picture of serenity. But Kirk knew better. Beneath the surface, the swollen river was a trap just waiting to be sprung.
They all had dressed as lightly as possible, not wanting the added weight of clothes bogged down with water. The warmer weather had allowed Kirk to tear off the legs of a pair of pants, so he stood in little more than trunks. But both Spock and Ranulf had elected to keep fully clothed. He looked at both of them with growing apprehension.
All their supplies were loaded on the raft. Kirk eyed it warily, hoping the rope intertwined to hold the branches together would hold. They had wrapped everything in their rain gear before lashing the bundles securely down. With a nervous glance at the river, Kirk turned to his companions. "Guess it's time to go."
The three men took hold of the raft and started pushing it into the river. Approximately four feet square, it had seemed adequate for their needs. but now, piled high with everything that stood between them and the elements, it looked small and inconsequential. That it would also be called on to anchor them together as they forded the river, seemed asking more than the small craft could possibly manage. Nevertheless, they gingerly edged it into the water.
The water was colder than Kirk would normally consider swimming in. The snow melt that had doubled the river's size had also plunged its temperature to near freezing. They'd have to get across as quickly as possible. He took the lead and resolutely waded in. Spock and Ranulf held on to the sides as the raft began to float and move into the river's flow. Only ten feet from shore, they stopped. The water was already up to their waists.
"Once it hits my chest, I'm going to start swimming. It'll be faster that way. If you can't keep up, try to just hang on and kick your feet." Kirk waited until both men nodded in agreement and then started forward again. After only a few minutes he pushed off, his feet barely touching bottom. He pulled the raft behind him and swam as best he could with one arm. The extra exertion warmed him a bit, and he fell into a regular rhythm. Kirk had started to think that their crossing would be without incident when more than half way across, the small craft shot to the side, caught in whatever was imbedded on the river's floor.
"Damn!" Kirk tried tugging it free. "Both of you, hold on. I'm going underneath, see if I can break it loose."
Spock pulled himself along until he was next to Kirk. "Wait. Let us try it once more. Perhaps if we all pull from this side."
He nodded and waited for Ranulf to move to his side. The Romulan's teeth were chattering, and he looked exhausted.
"Are you going to be all right?" Kirk asked.
Ranulf only nodded and moved into position.
Between the three of them they managed to get the raft free. But Kirk could tell that both Spock and Ranulf were fast losing energy. The cold was sapping their strength.
Kirk started them forward again. Spock stayed at his side, and they swam in an awkward synchronization, each giving one arm to the effort.
The shore drew nearer. Spock had begun to shiver, but Kirk was sure they were going to make it. Twenty feet from the riverbank he felt the small craft tilt, and turned to see Ranulf lose his hold and sink under the water.
"Spock, hurry!" Kirk didn't say anything else. Instead he redoubled his efforts, pulling the raft and Spock into the shallows. When he felt ground beneath his feet, he turned and started back into the deeper water.
"Jim, wait!" Spock started to let go of the raft to follow his captain.
"No! Get to shore. I'll be right back!"
"No, you will be unable to retrieve him alone."
"Damn it, Spock, do as I say!" He didn't wait to see what Spock would do, but dove under the water and made for the last place he had seen the Romulan. It took longer than Kirk thought, and he had to come up for air just as he got there.
Kirk glanced toward shore, and saw Spock pulling the raft out of the water. He dove back under and started searching, swimming in the direction of the river's flow. The water was murky, though not deep. Plants were rooted to the bottom, testament to the river's recent lower level. It had been their bad luck to get here during spring thaw.
He moved along the debris. He knew he had to find the Romulan soon if the young man was to survive. His need for air was becoming critical when he finally saw Ranulf. He grabbed the lifeless body and tried to resurface, but the body in his arms was dragging him back. This was what he had feared the most. Neither Vulcanoid had the buoyancy of a human's body. The light above seemed far away as his lungs threatened to let go. Suddenly, Spock was there.
The Vulcan grabbed one of Ranulf's arms and the three men headed to the surface. Mere feet away, Kirk's air gave out and he broke the surface wheezing and coughing as he took in the cold water. Spock held on to Ranulf until Kirk could get his bearings and then they headed for shore. Between the two of them they managed to get the Romulan onto dry land.
Kirk fell to his knees and wrenched out the half of the river he felt he had swallowed. It took several minutes before he was able to calm his stomach and catch his breath. He gazed over at Spock and saw that the Vulcan had managed to get Ranulf breathing again. The Romulan was on his side, still disgorging the dirty water.
Kirk crawled over. "How's he doing?"
"He will survive. But we must get him to shelter, Jim. The cold is more of a threat now." The Vulcan looked none too good himself. Pale and drawn, he shivered in the afternoon breeze.
Kirk nodded and wearily stumbled to his feet. With Spock's help he was able to get Ranulf over his shoulder. While Spock dragged the raft behind him, the two men made for the shelter of a thick stand of trees. They managed to get the makeshift boat braced against some trees and spread a couple of blankets atop the leaves collected beneath.
They pulled Ranulf's wet clothes from his body and settled him at the closed end of the lean-to. After making sure he was beginning to warm in the cocoon of blankets, they shed their own clothes and crawled in. They did not so much fall asleep, as pass out.
~~~~~
The fire was a welcome heat, and Ranulf scooted as close as he dared. He stared mesmerized by the flames. He had awakened to the warmth of Spock's arms as the Vulcan carried him to the campfire, and now he sat wrapped in blankets, content. The sun was beginning to set. They were in for another chilly night.
Spock approached and positioned himself by the fire. He handed Ranulf a container of heated water and a generous portion of roots, nuts and berries. "Eat. It will aid in your recovery."
Ranulf studied the food. He was hungry, but more curious. "Where is Kirk?"
"Asleep." Spock motioned to the bed of leaves under the raft. The human lay motionless under a blanket. "It was he who prepared the fire and set up camp while I foraged for more food."
"Aren't you tired?" Ranulf popped a berry into his mouth as he studied the Vulcan. Spock's hair was still slightly damp and it curled slightly about his neck. It made him look even more beautiful.
"I have rested. But I wished to ascertain your continued health before retiring for the night." He looked up into the fading light. "There does not seem to be a threat of rain. If you wish, you may sleep by the fire."
"I just might. How long was I out?"
"Six hours, seventeen minutes."
"I don't remember what happened. The last thing I do remember is clinging to that damn raft and being cold. I don't think I've ever been so cold before."
"You lost your hold and sank beneath the water."
Ranulf gazed at Spock in delight. "So I owe you my life. I wondered at the bruises." He examined the marks around his forearms that could only have been left by someone of considerable strength.
"No, not to me. Jim is the one who went after you. I merely helped him pull you out of the water."
"He saved me?"
"You are surprised. I was aware of your animosity towards him. I was not aware that you had used it to totally blind yourself to what kind of man he is." Spock's tone was cold, disapproving.
"You're angry." Ranulf hesitated before speaking. "Maybe you have the right to be. I don't know." He pulled at the grass that grew sparsely around them, unwilling to meet Spock's eyes. "All I know is that I want you, but all you want is him. And he knows that. If the situation had been reversed, I don't think I would have risked my life for him."
"And does that not tell you why I love him?" Spock gently asked.
Ranulf looked up and his eyes were full. "You could never love anyone else, could you?"
The Vulcan's features softened and he shook his head. "There can be no other for me. That was ordained from the moment of our first meeting, I think. There is so much of him you have refused to see. I have never known a being of greater personal strength, or stronger compassion. He is unsurpassed as a leader, but is unafraid of showing tenderness. He has taught me much of life, and of myself."
The Romulan nodded and looked away. "I think I'll sleep out here tonight."
Spock said nothing. He merely stood and headed toward the lean-to and his lover.
The Vulcan crawled under the shelter and took his place next to the human. With a small noise, Kirk pulled him to his side.
~~~~~
The long rest made the next day's journey easier. They followed the river along its path and took complete comfort in each other's company.
Kirk had been pleasantly surprised to wake that morning in a warm bed, Spock in his arms. Ranulf lay close to the dying fire. It had been the first of many surprises.
The Romulan had undergone a complete transformation. Gone was the sarcastic young man who had found any excuse to throw a barb. Instead, Kirk saw for the first time the man who had loved Senius and been loved in return. It was as if they had acquired a helpful and considerate guide. Ranulf would identify landmarks and points of interest. His dry wit a source of amusement for his fellow travelers.
It was a clear day, and they managed to set a good pace. By the time they made camp that night, they had traveled a great deal further than expected.
"We should get to the cabin tomorrow sometime. Late afternoon, I'd imagine." Ranulf turned the roots as they cooked in the fire. They had discovered that roasting them in the leaves that grew along the river's edge added a pleasing flavor.
"How far are we from the canyon?" Kirk lay back, propped up on an elbow.
Ranulf shrugged. "Not too far. There's an outcropping near the entrance that looks like a kneeling figure. It's hard to miss. After that, it's straight in."
"Are you concerned about your mother?" Spock asked. Ranulf had finally mentioned that the cabin happened to be occupied.
"Not really. She knew I'd need help getting out. As long as I'm with you, there shouldn't be a problem. Ariadna's pretty good with a weapon though. We need to make very sure she sees us coming."
"Ariadna? You call your mother by her first name?" Kirk sat up and reached for the roasted pod Ranulf handed him.
Ranulf laughed. "Yes, always. I don't think she was comfortable being called 'mother'. She's been part of the underground most of her life. Maybe it made her feel more vulnerable to suddenly have a kid to take care of."
"What of your father?" Spock took his portion and carefully unwrapped his dinner.
"He died before I was born. He was a soldier in the Imperial army. I don't know how he and Ariadna got together. She's never really talked about him. But I don't think he knew what she was into."
"And she lives out here all by herself?" Kirk had to admire a woman like that. His own mother had run their farm almost single-handedly after his dad had died.
"I was surprised, too. But she seems to like it. I think the only time she goes into town is for supplies or when she wanted to get information to me."
"Information? From out here?"
"Don't get the impression that she's isolated. She has a receiver. And she's kept in contact with the underground. That's how I finally found out how to open the tunnel. They got the information to her, and she passed it on to me."
They learned a great deal about the Romulan that evening. Kirk could finally see what had drawn Senius, a member of the aristocracy, to him. He contemplated the changes in the young man across from him. Spock had gone to meditate a short distance away, leaving the two men alone.
Ranulf noticed Kirk watching him. "Do I meet your approval?" The words were said in jest.
Kirk smiled. "I think so. But I'd be interested in knowing why the change."
"Isn't saving my life reason enough?"
Kirk remained silent. Spock had told him of their conversation, but he knew there was more to it than mere gratitude.
"All right. I guess I've quit seeing you as a rival." Ranulf gave an amused snort. "Like I was ever your rival. Spock never showed anything but that he was crazy about you. I suppose I can finally understand why. Or maybe it's closer to the truth to say I finally admit to why." The Romulan grew pensive. "I wanted him so badly. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. Rather than accept it, I preferred the fantasy that you weren't good enough for him, and that once I made him see that, he'd turn to me. When he told me that you had risked your life to safe mine...I couldn't hide from the truth anymore. Besides, I had already figured out that he wasn't ever going to leave you."
"You had?"
"Yeah." Ranulf squirmed slightly. "I overheard you that day in the meadow, right before we got to the river. I saw the way you were with each other. It was so much like me and Senius. It gave me a lot to think about. Yesterday just sealed it."
Kirk sat up and leaned forward. "Did your mother know about you and Senius?"
"Sure. Why do you ask?"
"I...I just wondered."
"You're worried, aren't you?"
Kirk threw him a wary look. "Maybe."
"Will it make a difference in what you feel?"
"Of course not."
"Then don't worry about it. I can't imagine the Federation is any stricter than the Empire. I won't say we didn't have our problems; a lot of people look down on this sort of thing. But it was worth it."
Kirk thought about it a moment. "I know it's worth it. He's worth it. And it's not really me I'm worried about. There are still those extreme mindsets on Earth, but mostly it's not an issue. It's Vulcan I worry about, and how it'll affect Spock."
"Vulcan? Why would Vulcan have a problem with it? Warrior bonding was a big deal there at one time. I can't imagine they've changed that much."
Kirk laughed and shrugged. "I hope you're right."
"His and my people share an awfully lot of history. In the scheme of things, we haven't been apart all that long. I've got a feeling you'll be pleasantly surprised at how they take the news."
"How did your people take the news?"
The Romulan shrugged. "The men in our company weren't too thrilled. But they seemed to blame Senius more than me." Ranulf shook his head. "It was as if they thought he had seduced me."
"Why would they think that?"
"I don't know. Maybe because Senius was of the aristocracy, they half expected something like that from him. It didn't help that he tended to keep to himself. Aloof." He smiled. "Like Spock."
Kirk grinned and nodded in agreement. "There have been those that mistook Spock's reticence for snobbery. When I first met him..." He groped for words. "It was as if he stood behind a wall. All I could think of was that I wanted to get behind that wall, know the man within."
"Makes them all the more memorable when you have to work so hard at getting a response, doesn't it?" Ranulf looked up into the night sky, his mood suddenly changing. "But I never would have believed that someone's death could do to me what Senius' did. Sometimes, I still can feel him next to me in the night. Remember how it was to hold him. I would give anything..." His words trailed off.
It grew quiet between them as both men contemplated love and its loss. But Kirk was glad he had decided to speak about his relationship with Spock to the young Romulan. He normally wouldn't be so open about how things were between them, but it had seemed something he could do to lessen Ranulf's pain. And he liked this new Ranulf, or really, the old one who had finally found his way home.
Spock appeared out of the dark, and the three men prepared for sleep. The cold was finally giving up the nights, so when Ranulf settled his blankets next to the fire he forbore from feeding it. The dying embers would be enough.
Ranulf looked over at his two friends as they ducked into the shelter and under the covers. They belonged together. Just as he and Senius had belonged together. He wondered what his lover would have thought of the two men. He smiled. It would have been interesting to see.
He sighed and let his thoughts drift. He was happier, more content, than he had been in a long time. Anger had been his companion for so long. It felt as if he was free of a crushing burden.
Tomorrow they would finally reach safety. Ranulf almost laughed when he thought of his friends' reaction to the one thing he had kept from them. He could hardly wait to see the look on their faces when he showed them his surprise. It would be his gift to them for giving him back his life.
He thought Senius would have approved. His lover was dead, but not his love. Ranulf turned on his back and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would dream of him tonight. He'd like that.
~~~~~
Kirk turned in his sleep and his arm landed across Spock's chest. Spock's eyes opened and he blinked against the morning light that shone in on them. The sun was just topping the faraway trees.
He gently removed Kirk's arm and sat up. There was still a light chill, but he knew it would warm up by the time they broke camp and started on their way. He suspected that Kirk would insist on a dip in the river before heading inland. Spock shivered at the thought.
He reached for his jacket placed nearby and shrugged into it before getting out of bed. He slowly maneuvered his way out so as not to waken his friend, but tucked the blanket around the sleeping form before moving away.
He could see Ranulf's head peeking out of his blanket as Spock walked to the cold remains of their fire. He supposed the noise he would make as he started it up again would awaken the Romulan, but there was no help for it. Kirk, he had found, could sleep through quite a bit when not weighed down by the responsibilities of command. His captain's adaptability often amazed Spock.
He proceeded to gather more wood and neatly positioned it within the circle of stones Kirk had created the day before. Spock added kindling and then looked around for the matches. He remembered that Ranulf had started the fire the night before. There was no getting around it. He would have to awaken him.
He moved over until he was kneeling over Ranulf and lightly touched his shoulder. "Ranulf?"
When that got no response, he gently shook him. "Ranulf, where did you place the matches?" Ranulf?"
There was no movement. Spock frowned and shook harder. With dawning horror, he realized something was terribly wrong.
"Jim!"
Kirk bolted up to see Spock resting on his haunches, his head lowered. He jumped up and went to stand next to him.
"What's the matter?" He glanced, puzzled, at Ranulf before returning his attention to Spock.
"He is dead."
"Dead?" Kirk knelt down and slowly pulled the blanket off the body. "What happened?"
"I do not know. I thought him asleep. It was only when I was unable to rouse him..." Spock closed his eyes for a moment. His sorrow was a like a black shroud, its weight pulling him down. Ranulf had only just begun to live again.
"I don't understand." Anger tinged Kirk's voice. But Spock understood that this had been Kirk's way of dealing with pain for a long time.
"Perhaps he was ill. We may never know."
"Oh, Ranulf." Kirk hugged himself and seemed to draw inward.
"Jim?" Spock touched his bondmate's face.
The human did not respond at first. But after a moment, he straightened and stood up. "We should bury him."
"Yes." Spock got up off his knees. I will look for something to dig with." He started to walk away, but turned to study his lover. Despair radiated off Kirk. The human's hands were clenched at his side, his face closed. Spock could only imagine how much of this Kirk would take on himself. He walked back. "It was not your fault."
"I should have made him sleep in the lean-to."
"Do not do this. We do not know why he died. It may have made no difference."
Kirk pulled his gaze away from Ranulf's body and turned to his bondmate. "I can't change how I am, Spock. Just give me a while to work through it." He smiled weakly. "It's just a shock, that's all."
"I understand. You will miss him. As shall I." He left then to find something to dig a grave.
Spock found a sturdy piece of wood that looked like it would suffice. When he returned, Kirk was attempting to wrap the body in a blanket.
"Lift his shoulders while I get this end." The human had Ranulf's legs in one arm while he spread the blanket under them. The Romulan's pant leg had rolled up, and Kirk suddenly stopped in surprise. "Spock, come look at this."
Spock lowered the body and moved to Kirk's side. Kirk pointed to the exposed calf. A crescent shaped wound stood out on the pale flesh.
"A craycas?" Spock looked warily around.
"I think so. Must have been attracted by his body heat. I knew I should have—"
"No, if he had been with us, the animal would still have found him. Or it would be one of us lying here."
Kirk stared at the wound, but then slowly nodded his head.
They finished wrapping the body and then went to find a place to bury him.
They decided on a spot away from the river. On a high point near a stand of flowering trees, they made his resting place.
~~~~~
It was well past midday by the time they were on their way. They silently took leave of their late companion, and started down the animal trail that wound along side the river. Neither spoke, and the sounds of the forest seemed muted in their grief.
They reached the crouching landmark as the sun was starting its journey down.
"Do you think we should keep going?" Kirk stopped to allow his bondmate to catch up. Spock had lagged behind all day, allowing a space between them as a cushion for emotions left scarred.
"Ranulf indicated that the house was close to the entrance of the canyon. And I do not relish the idea of sleeping another night outdoors."
"Yeah, me either. Okay, we'll keep going. Just watch your step."
Spock managed a passable effort at false indignity. "I am always cognizant of the whereabouts of my feet, Captain."
Kirk smiled for the first time that day. "I'm sure you are, First Officer. But do it, anyway."
The were slowed somewhat by the gathering darkness. But by the time the last rays of the sun were gone, they had entered a small glade and had caught sight of the house. It was at the other end, the forest an ebony backdrop. It was larger than they thought it would be. A two story building with a verandah that wrapped half way around it, it sat dark and forlorn in the night.
"Doesn't look like anyone's home." Kirk thought of the woman he had looked forward to meeting. Now he dreaded it.
"Perhaps she is already asleep."
"Maybe. But you'd think she'd leave a light on. She knew that Ranulf was planning an escape, and that he'd head here. It doesn't make sense that she wouldn't have some kind of signal to let him know she was waiting."
"It does look deserted." Spock looked at their surroundings. They were still in the trees, invisible from the house. "Perhaps a signal from us?"
"Like what?" The lanterns had given out days before. All they had left were the matches. "Maybe we could fashion some kind of torch."
Spock nodded, and they went about collecting what they needed. They lit the strips of cloth torn from a blanket and wrapped around a thick tree branch.
"Okay, let's go."
Together they moved tentatively forward, always watching for any sign of life. They made it to the porch without an appearance by its occupant. Kirk doused their torch in the dirt and they took the flight of four stairs onto the verandah to stand at the front door.
"Now what?" Kirk tried peering through the glass panes of the door.
"Perhaps knock."
Kirk gave Spock a sour look and lightly rapped on the door. After several moments he tried again, this time loudly enough that they both cringed slightly as the noise echoed through the silent night.
"I don't think she's here." Kirk tried the door, and was surprised to find it unlocked. He threw a look at Spock and the two men slowly walked in.
If the house had been occupied, it hadn't been recently. Though everything was neatly in place, moonlight showed a layer of dust on everything. In the kitchen there were no dishes out, though the pantry was well stocked. There was a small bathroom with a large tub that Kirk greedily eyed. But it and the small sink next to it were dry.
After making a thorough inspection of the ground floor, they took the narrow staircase to the upper level. It was the same. Both bedrooms that comprised the upstairs were empty, the beds made.
"I don't understand. It looks like someone lives here." Kirk rubbed his chin in thought.
"Should we continue our search? I seem to recall seeing a large barn-like structure from the kitchen window."
"No. I don't think it'd be a good idea to go stumbling around in the dark when we don't have to. We'll sleep here tonight and then make a complete search of the area tomorrow."
"I noticed your fascination with the cleansing facilities." Spock pressed his lips together to hide a smile.
"Damn right you did. We're going to figure out how to get the lights on, and then I'm going to have a long, hot soak. And then, Mr. Spock." He turned and gave his lover an intense look. "I'm going to have you."
~~~~~
"You taste great." Kirk slowly licked the verdant cock in his hand, before sliding it back in his mouth. He sucked at the tip, tasting the drop of pre-cum there.
Spock moaned and arched against the cool surface. They were clean, dry and snug in the large bed of the back bedroom. Though they really weren't worried about being interrupted, it seemed rather gauche to use the missing woman's bed. The Vulcan reached out and dug his fingers into Kirk's ass, conveniently positioned at arm's length.
With a last sucking pull, Kirk released the organ. He ran his tongue down to swirl around the plump balls, pushing Spock's legs apart to better reach them and took one in his mouth. He came up on his hands and knees to awkwardly move over until he straddled his bondmate. His own cock dangled enticingly above Spock's face.
Spock did not disappoint him. His own organ was swallowed up by the warm heat of the Vulcan's mouth.
It was gently held, an added sensation as Kirk returned to Spock's shaft. Engorged and heavy, it filled his mouth. He sucked it in deeper, so that its head threatened to push against the back of his throat. He pulled back, only to take it again and again, until the Vulcan beneath was moaning with pleasure. Suddenly Spock stiffened, and Kirk's mouth was filled with his lover's semen.
He continued to gently suck on the deflating cock while Spock's breathing returned to normal. He knew the Vulcan was ready to move on when his mouth firmed around Kirk's organ.
Spock began to suck in earnest, as his hands held Kirk firmly in place.
Kirk brought his head up with a cry, releasing his prize. His hips began to slowly undulate, Spock's tongue doing wonderful things as it slid over and around his hardened shaft.
God, it felt good. No one had ever sucked his cock the way Spock did. No one ever could. He started rocking harder, his orgasm building. He was almost there. He lowered his head, and looked down between their bodies. He saw his organ slipping in and out of Spock's mouth.
Kirk came with a strangled cry, losing himself in it as he pumped his seed into the hot cavity.
His arms quivered from the strain of holding himself up while riding out the sensations inundating his body. His cock was released with a wet sound, and he found himself lifted to be resettled at the Vulcan's side.
He hadn't known, until he lay within the curve of Spock's arm, how much he had needed this reconnection to his lover. Their friend's loss had weighed heavily upon him, shadowing the day's journey. The empty house had only added to his dark sense of foreboding.
They lay quietly in each other's arms. Kirk was tired. It had been a long and stressful day. Yet he felt on edge, filled with a sense of disquiet he could neither explain nor expel. He was not surprised when Spock began to speak.
"We have been gone from the Enterprise for five standard months."
"'Five standard months'? That's rather vague coming from you, isn't it?" The gentle tease fell flat.
Spock shrugged. "I saw no need for a more accurate account. We are both too aware of just how long we have been here. Yet in all that time, I have never doubted that we would find our way home."
"And now?" Kirk came up on one elbow to study the tightly locked visage of his lover.
Spock returned the look, but was forced to look away when he was unable to keep a small part of his worry from slipping his controls. "Today, for the first time I began to fear that it could take many years."
"Because of Ranulf." It was not a question.
"Perhaps. His death closed the door on any chance of a swift departure. With no contacts, no allies, we are at the mercy of whatever fate may send our way."
Kirk looked around the room, and then out the open window. The sheer drapes moved lazily in the breeze. This world was so much like Earth. There had been times during their journey here when he had almost felt he was on the planet of his birth. Almost. But to spend years here, maybe the rest of their lives.... "I hate to think we'll never get back. The only thing that makes that thought bearable is that we're together. But I would never stop trying. You know that, don't you, Spock?"
"Yes. You would allow us no other course."
"Is that the only reason you would do it?" Kirk thought he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Spock say it.
The Vulcan smiled and pulled the unresisting human down into his arms. "No, Jim. We share the same need. I would endure because I would be at your side. But I have no wish to end my days lost in a world not of my making. Our life is out there." He motioned toward the window and the night sky. "Among the stars. If we never return to them, it will not be for lack of trying. For us, there is no other way."
With a contented sigh, Kirk allowed himself to relax against his friend. His first officer. His other half. It was all he needed to know.
~~~~~
Morning brought them up from the bed and down the stairs. They ate from the stores in the small pantry, cleaned up after themselves, and then set off to begin a thorough search of the surrounding area.
There was a small garden in the back, now overgrown with tangled vines and the gradual creeping back of the forest. Kirk moved through the tall stalks of some unknown plant as he surveyed the once cultivated area. It was obviously edible, for signs of damage from animals making a meal of it were evident. It was then he noticed the small structure tucked off to the side of the house.
He caught Spock's attention, and the two men walked over. As they neared, Kirk realized it was a coop. One that looked startlingly like the hen houses on his own family's farm. Dead animals littered the ground inside it.
"They must have starved to death." Kirk grimaced.
"Or they may have succumbed to the cold." Spock was bent down, peering into the enclosure when he suddenly straightened. "There is a body in the corner."
Kirk followed Spock's gaze and saw the bundle he had mistaken for a pile of rags. He glanced at the Vulcan and then opened the coop door.
They walked in, gingerly pushing aside the small remains until they were standing next to the corpse. The body was desiccated. But from the hair and its size, they felt they had found Ranulf's mother.
Spock came down on one knee. He carefully opened the woman's fist. A handful of feed poured out. "It would seem that she died of natural causes."
"Why do you say that?" Kirk peered over the Vulcan's shoulder.
"She was in an enclosed structure. There does not seem to be any signs of an attack. She never let go of the feed. I would think perhaps some sort of cardiovascular disruption."
"God, I'm glad Ranulf never had to see her like this." Kirk looked around. "We need some sort of tarp to wrap her in."
Spock stood up. "Perhaps in the large building in back. I shall look in there."
Kirk nodded, and the two exited the cage. Kirk sat on the steps that led to the back door of the house. He buried his head in his hands, letting the sorrow and regret wash over him. In the back of his mind, the woman had been a small hope. Someone who could have been their bridge to the rest of this world. Now even that was gone.
"Jim! JIM!!"
Kirk jumped up at the sound of raw emotion in Spock's voice, and ran toward the building. The large door was still open and he burst in, only to skid to a halt next to the stunned Vulcan.
Spock had a large tarp in his hands. His clothes and hair were covered in dust. But he continued to look into the gloom at the back of the building.
Kirk turned his head to follow Spock's stare, and his eyes went wide as he saw what so mesmerized the Vulcan. Glowing in the dust-filled light that filtered in through the wooden slats, the nose of a small Romulan scout ship peeked out from its hiding place.
~~~~~
McCoy pushed his plate away and sat back in his chair. The cafeteria at Starfleet headquarters wasn't exactly known for their cuisine. He gulped the last of his coffee down and made a face. They didn't seem to be able to get anything right.
He stood up. Might as well get it over with. He was to meet Scotty in Admiral Nogura's office. Both of them were being pressured to take new postings. Scotty had thought to stay with the Enterprise, see her through her refit. But the powers that be had decided otherwise. With no one to fight for her, the ship was being pushed aside. Who knew when she would ever fly again.
He made his way out of the building. But once outside, he hesitated to make that final walk. It was over for him. He had decided to call it quits, leave Starfleet. And it didn't take a genius to figure out why.
He probably could have stood to re-up and be posted to another ship, as long as he had known that, somewhere, the Enterprise still made her way through the stars. It would have been as if a part of Kirk and Spock still lived on. But even that had been taken away from him.
He chuckled ruefully. If anyone would have told him that he could get so maudlin over two men, he would have sent the guys in white jackets after them. Especially when one of those men was a certain Vulcan who had managed to irritate him practically every day of their association. Yet he knew it was true. When they had gone, they had taken the last of his childlike wonder with them.
Might as well get it over with. He headed for the main offices. It was early spring and the concourse was filled with cadets from the nearby academy, so he didn't see the Scotsman at first. It was the ruckus his friend was creating as he tried to push his way through the crowd that first got McCoy's attention.
"Scotty!" He waved, thinking that if Scotty knew he had been seen, he'd give off his frantic efforts. But McCoy's action only seemed to make him worse. The Scott started calling his name and cussing at anyone foolhardy enough to get in his way.
"McCoy! They're back!"
McCoy frowned. Who was back? And from where? Sometimes his friend could be indecipherable. And why wasn't he at Nogura's office?
Scotty finally got through the major obstacle of cadets and was now only twenty feet from the doctor. "I never believed it, McCoy! Not for a second! I knew the lads would be back!"
The lads? McCoy stilled, unwilling to believe what he was hearing. Afraid to believe what his heart was telling him. It couldn't be.
The two men met in the center of the concourse. One out of breath, a smile plastered across his face. The other whose heart was pounding so hard he could hardly breathe.
"What are you saying?" McCoy whispered. But he knew. At that moment, he knew.
Scotty put out his hands and grabbed the doctor by the shoulders. "They were picked up four days ago flying a Romulan scout ship. They're alive, McCoy! And they're coming home!"
~~~~~
Kirk stretched and then snuggled back against the warm body. Spock was still asleep, but instinctively pulled his lover against him. Kirk smiled into the soft hair of the Vulcan's chest. God, it felt good to sleep in a real bed; to get up when they liked and have breakfast waiting.
There was so much to take in since being found by the Federation cruiser, their own ship now sitting in the hold. Brought figuratively back from the dead, they were returning heroes—though Kirk couldn't figure out exactly what they had done to be considered heroic. And it seemed the fate of one Romulan was of little interest. If it hadn't been for Ranulf, he and Spock would probably never have made it off that planet. But no one wanted to hear about that.
The small ship had been kept in perfect condition. Spock had only needed to recharge the fuel cells and make some minor adjustments before she had been space worthy. Even taking time to bury Ranulf's mother, they had been on their way within a few hours.
It had been a harrowing three days as they sped toward the Neutral Zone and home. The trip had been one of long stretches of nerve-shattering quiet interspersed with moments of terrifying confrontation. Twice they had been intercepted by Romulan vessels. Spock's mastery of their language, coupled with a ship that miraculously was still registered as that of the Empire's fleet, allowed them to bluff their way through. They had both given a hearty sigh of relief on reaching Federation territory.
Their ship was sighted by the Federation vessel within hours. Spock had set up a general broadcast, fearing that what had been their salvation on one side of the zone, could get them shot out of space on the other. There had been a few tense moments, but voice prints had proven their identity beyond a doubt. Tractor beams had pulled the small ship into the starship's belly and nothing had been the same since.
But they'd be home soon, really home. Earth was only hours away. Earth, and the Enterprise.
"Jim?"
"I thought you were asleep." But he was glad Spock was finally awake. There was so little time left before the circus they knew awaited them.
"No, merely evaluating our circumstances."
"What do you thing?"
"I do not know. There are too many variables. We are not the same as when we left."
"No, we're not." Kirk pondered their situation for a moment, thinking of the bond and all the changes wrought in both of them by their journey. They were both stronger for it. But more than that, they both were sure of their priorities. "But are we really so different? And aren't the changes ones we would have made in any event?"
"Those have been my thoughts. I do not know how much longer I could have kept myself from confessing my regard for you."
"Your 'regard'? I'd say it's a bit more than that." Kirk raised his head to find his bondmate looking down at him with no small humor in his eyes. "What's so funny?"
"I was thinking of the good doctor's remark."
Kirk grinned. McCoy had been a welcome sight. But the doctor had been practically babbling through the line from Nogura's office. He'd never seen his friend so overwhelmed. What had come through loud and clear though, was McCoy's overpowering joy at seeing the friends he had thought never to see again. But when his comment 'that at least they had had each other,' had brought a flush of color to Kirk's face, McCoy's words had stuttered to a stop. The doctor's face had gone bright red as he realized his double entendre.
Kirk couldn't help it. He had started laughing. The ship's captain had been thoroughly confused by the sight of Kirk laughing until tears were streaming down his face, and a bemused Vulcan standing patiently at his side.
McCoy had finally grinned, and suddenly it was as if they had never been gone.
"You think he's happy for us?" Kirk asked, curious as to how Spock felt about not just McCoy, but Nogura and Scotty obviously being aware of the changed status of their relationship.
"I believe so. The doctor is a perceptive man. I would not be surprised to learn that he was aware of our feelings for each other, perhaps even before we ourselves were."
Kirk thought about it a moment. "You might be right. Bones said you'd do just about anything for me. I didn't know at the time that he meant anything. But it doesn't bother you, him knowing?"
Spock tilted his head in the way he tended to when analyzing a situation. "It would not have been my first choice to have Admiral Nogura and his staff present, but McCoy has proven to be a trusted friend—and an ally we may yet need."
They weren't out of the woods yet. Though Nogura had been pleased at their return, their future in Starfleet was not yet clear. They'd have to fight for the Enterprise and the dependancy posting their bonded state demanded.
Kirk raised up on his elbow and threw one leg over the Vulcan's hips. Spock's organ was full and heavy against his thigh. "Well, I'm glad Bones is okay with it because I'm not giving you up, Mr. Spock."
"Indeed?" The Vulcan's eyebrow rose, and with one smooth motion he pulled his captain on top of him.
"Yes, indeed," Kirk responded as he slowly lowered his head, his mouth lingering above his lover's for only a moment before closing the space between them.
finis
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Notes: Kirk and Spock end up in a Romulan prison after the ship they are passengers on is taken by Orion slavers.
Originally published in First Time 57 by Merry Men Press (July 2003)
"Okay, let's take a break." Kirk unslung his pack and settled on an old stump. The clearing they were crossing was probably the best place they'd find to take a rest.
Spock watched Kirk with ill-concealed concern. The continued strain of keeping his temper in check was beginning to wear on the human. Their day had started just like the rest, climbing out of their lean-to after a fitful night's sleep, only to begin anew their endless journey. But this one had been their worst so far.
It had begun soon after their meager breakfast. Ranulf had started asking questions. Questions that Kirk obviously found unsettling. What did Starfleet think of its officers having intimate relations? Was homosexuality accepted on Earth? Questions that neither had good answers for.
"I'll be right back." Ranulf dropped his burden and took off for the privacy of a nearby stand of trees.
"Alone at last." Kirk gave him a tired grin and started helping Spock lay out the blanket he had pulled from his pack.
Spock returned the smile, trying to convey his understanding. He knew the feeling well. They both sat down and in an uncharacteristic move, he stretched out his legs and pulled his captain over to rest the human's head in his lap.
"This feels great." Kirk grabbed Spock's hand and placed a kiss on the palm. "I'd do more, but I don't think I have the strength."
Spock looked fondly down and began stroking his lover's forehead, running his fingers through the hair that now curled haphazardly. They were both in need of haircuts.
Kirk brought his hand up and returned the caress. "I like your hair this length," he said, almost as if he could hear Spock's thoughts.
"It is not regulation," Spock answered softly.
"That's okay. Neither are we." The human grew pensive.
"You are thinking of Ranulf's questions."
"Yeah, some. I think before I was able to push it out of my mind. We were prisoners, and it didn't look like that was going to change. Now..."
"Now you are concerned that there could be repercussions when, and if, we manage to make it back to Federation territory." Spock studied his lover for a moment. "You are aware that there is no going back for us. The bond is eternal."
"I know that. And I wouldn't want to even if I could. It's just that things could get difficult."
"You believe they would attempt to separate us?"
"No. I wouldn't allow that. And it's not even Starfleet I'm worried about. They don't particularly like their senior officers fraternizing, but they've always tended to look the other way. As long as it doesn't interfere with my ability to command, I don't think it'd be a problem for them."
"Then what is it you fear?"
"We were both pretty high profile before. If we get back there's going to be a feeding frenzy like you've never seen."
"I beg your pardon?"
Kirk smiled up fondly. "You don't fool me for a second, Spock. You haven't for a long time now."
Spock sighed. "Very well. I, too, have given thought to what we might face should we manage to return home."
"And?"
"And it is of no consequence. What we have," Spock bent his legs slightly so that Kirk lay against the incline of his lap, bringing them closer together, "is worth anything they could possibly do or say. You are my life. Without you I am not complete. There is no price I would not pay to remain at your side."
His lover pulled Spock to him and they met halfway in an embrace that brought their mouths together. For a while they lost themselves in the elemental contact of their kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Spock felt suddenly bereft.
Kirk's head dropped against Spock's chest. His words were spoken softly, but with all the intensity that personified this particular human. "I can't imagine not having you in my life. To turn, and not have you there next to me. I don't ever want to know what that feels like. I don't know if I could survive it."
The rustle of leaves brought them from the quiet place in their minds they had retreated to, and they looked up to see Ranulf walking out of the forest.
Kirk sighed as they pulled reluctantly apart. "I guess it was asking too much for something to come along and eat him," he said, only half in jest.
Spock tried to hide the amusement he felt. It would not do for their antipathy to Ranulf's presence to become too obvious. He gave Kirk a mildly disapproving look, but knew his bondmate was neither contrite nor fooled.
The Romulan threw himself on the blanket and pulled off his shoes. "My feet are killing me." He lay back and closed his eyes.
"Don't get too comfortable." Kirk scanned the sky and frowned at the clouds building to the north. "Looks like another storm's coming in. We need to get going pretty soon and find shelter."
Ranulf opened his eyes and squinted at the sun still high overhead. "We've got time. If I'm not mistaken, we should be reaching the river today. There's a series of caves near where we'll be crossing. We can spend the night there, cross first thing in the morning."
Spock motioned his bondmate to lie down. "Rest, Jim. I will wake you in twenty minutes."
Kirk seemed about to argue, but then lay down without a word.
With both men settled, Spock prepared to meditate. He closed his eyes and gave himself up to the inner calling of his mind.
"Ranulf."
Ranulf came awake with a start to find the Vulcan standing over him. He and the human were already set to go. He sat up, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes. "That was a fast twenty minutes."
"Nevertheless, it is time to go."
"Okay, okay. Give me a minute." He put his shoes on and stood. He looked around and took his bearings while Spock folded the blanket and stowed it in his pack. When the Vulcan was ready, Ranulf pointed ahead. "That way."
They began their journey once more. The rest of the day passed in relative silence. Ranulf could hear the two men behind him, one or the other making a comment from time to time, but for once he kept to himself. It seemed that he was going to have to rethink his previous assumptions.
These past days had done nothing to dampen his desire for the Vulcan, but neither had it lessened Spock's own connection to the human. If anything, it seemed to be growing, getting stronger day by day.
He had seen them earlier, wrapped together in a lovers' embrace, hungrily making love with only their mouths. His first instinct had been to snatch the Vulcan from Kirk's arms, force them apart. Instead he had stood in the shadows, watching, listening.
Their words, their terrible words had finally destroyed the last shred of hope that had sustained him throughout the days and nights of watching them grow ever closer. What should he do now? Now that he knew there was no future for him with Spock? Even if Kirk were to die, he would still lose. Spock would follow the human, gladly, joyously.
He still didn't understand it. What was it in Kirk that drew Spock to his side? He glanced back at the two men. They walked next to each other, perhaps a foot apart. Yet it was as if they were touching still. A blind man couldn't miss the aura that surrounded them, bound them fast.
"It looks like we're in for rain."
Kirk's words drew Ranulf's attention. He looked up into the rapidly darkening sky. "The river's not much further. Another hour at the most. We'll make it."
Forty minutes later, they heard the sound of running water. They followed the sound through the trees, the underbrush thickening the closer they got. With the river's roar loud in their ears, they came to the caves that would shelter them for the night.
The caves were all shallow, made sometime in the distant past when the river had filled the valley. They checked out a few before settling on one with an entrance covered over with enough brush to provide a wind break.
They eased into the small cavity. Not more than fifteen feet deep, its ceiling brushed Spock's head. He had to duck as he walked in.
"It seems to be adequate for our needs," the Vulcan noted.
"It'll do for the night, especially with the rain coming." Kirk surveyed their temporary home and then started unpacking.
Everything was done with an efficiency of movement. Lanterns were placed toward the back, safe from the elements. The food and water were positioned next to it.
The first sound of the approaching storm came with the distant roll of thunder. A sharp sting of cold rode in on the breeze that picked up and filtered through the brush to invade their shelter. Ranulf saw Kirk glance up from his work and throw the Vulcan a wicked smile. Spock looked quickly down, but was unable to hide the smile that lit the corners of his mouth.
Ranulf watched them as they set up their bedding. He had wondered what their choice would be. He wasn't surprised to see them make a bed for two out of their combined blankets. He remembered the warmth of the Vulcan he had shared as the three slept close in the narrow confines of their lean-tos. Perhaps this separateness was for the best. He turned away and prepared his own space across the length of the cave. It was not far enough.
Kirk woke to the sound of rain. The cave was still dark. He could see light outside, but it was the subdued glow of a heavily clouded sky. He looked down to gaze at his bondmate. Spock slept with his head resting on Kirk's chest, an arm thrown out to wrap around his lover's waist. Kirk raised his head to bring his mouth inches from a pointed ear.
"Time to get up, sleepyhead." He drew his finger down Spock's nose.
The Vulcan's hand came up and batted his away. "We still have thirty point three minutes."
"You don't want to get an early start?" Kirk teased.
Spock seemed to be listening, though his eyes never opened. "It may not be possible to ford the river at this time. The storm has intensified."
Kirk put his head back down. Spock was right. The wind was a constant howl, and water sheeted down the entrance to the cave. "I'd like to check it out, at least. I wonder how deep it is. We may have to build something to float the supplies across."
"That is a possibility." Spock readjusted the blankets and snuggled closer. "But for now, we are forced to stay under shelter. Go back to sleep, Jim."
Kirk chuckled and closed his eyes. He hadn't planned on falling back to sleep. Yet Spock's movements as he got up out of their bed were what brought him to wakefulness in what must have been hours later. It was lighter outside, and the rain had died down to a soft drizzle.
Ranulf stood at the entrance to the cave, looking out. "I don't know how long this will last. It's the rainy season up here. It could go on for days." He turned to them, then. "What do you think we should do?"
KIrk sat up and pushed the covers aside. "We see what it is we're dealing with."
Ranulf leaned forward and peered at the sky. "Now might be a good time."
Kirk agreed. He quickly dressed, and and the three men headed for the river bank. They struggled through the brush while trying to avoid the puddles that blocked the path time and again. They finally broke through and walked to the water's edge.
Kirk looked in dismay. The water was a good hundred feet across and running swiftly. "This is the narrowest crossing?"
The Romulan nodded. "It's not usually this bad. I don't think it'll be that deep. Most of the way we'll be able to touch bottom."
Kirk turned to him. "How well can you swim?"
Ranulf looked slightly uneasy. "I manage. It's not something I've done a lot of though."
"Great." Kirk shook his head. He knew he'd have no trouble with it. He was a strong swimmer. But he worried about his two companions. Spock knew how to swim, but rarely took the opportunity to improve. The Vulcan's heavier body mass gave him his added strength, but it also made staying afloat more difficult. Kirk glanced at Spock and saw the same troubled look that was on Ranulf's face.
Spock gave Kirk a resigned look. "It is our only option. We must get to the other side."
"You're right, unfortunately." Kirk studied his surroundings. "We're going to need some sturdy branches to lash together to build a raft for the supplies. If we make it big enough, the two of you can hold on to it while we cross."
"Does this mean we won't be trying it today?" Ranulf asked.
"We can use today to get everything ready. And the rest will do us good. We'll cross first thing in the morning. " Kirk glanced up. "If we're lucky, the storm will have passed by then."
"I wouldn't count on it." The Romulan turned away and started searching the river's edge for driftwood, picking up and discarding pieces as he went along.
Kirk returned the look from his bondmate. He smiled at Spock's near shrug, and the two men began their own search. It took them a few hours to gather what they needed. With nothing to cut the wood, the branches had to be of a particular length and thickness. They dragged them to the cave's entrance to form a pile just inside. The constant drizzle was a nuisance. And though it didn't interfere with their work, all three men were soaked through.
With their supply of branches growing, Ranulf began going through the underbrush. Pushing aside the damp leaves, he was able to find enough small pieces of wood dry enough that a fire would be possible.
By midday they had finished, and made their shelter just as the sky opened up and the rain began again in earnest.
"I don't know about you two, but I'm for a shower." Quickly discarding his wet and muddy clothes, Kirk stepped out into the rain. He stood, his arms outstretched, and let the water beat down on him. He lifted his face to the sky, closing his eyes and opening his mouth to drink the clear, cool liquid. He laughed and shook his hair out. It felt good to be clean.
A presence at his side brought his eyes open. Spock stood next to him, not quite so taken with the makeshift shower. His gaze was locked on his bondmate.
Kirk smiled and wished it was just the two of them here. This is how it would have been had they been allowed to continue to their original destination. He knew that with a certainty he could not question.
The water flowed swiftly past as the three men stood on its shores the next afternoon. The rain had fallen sporadically all night and into the morning, but at least for now they had been granted a reprieve. The sun was out. Light sparkled off the water's surface and a gentle breeze added to the picture of serenity. But Kirk knew better. Beneath the surface, the swollen river was a trap just waiting to be sprung.
They all had dressed as lightly as possible, not wanting the added weight of clothes bogged down with water. The warmer weather had allowed Kirk to tear off the legs of a pair of pants, so he stood in little more than trunks. But both Spock and Ranulf had elected to keep fully clothed. He looked at both of them with growing apprehension.
All their supplies were loaded on the raft. Kirk eyed it warily, hoping the rope intertwined to hold the branches together would hold. They had wrapped everything in their rain gear before lashing the bundles securely down. With a nervous glance at the river, Kirk turned to his companions. "Guess it's time to go."
The three men took hold of the raft and started pushing it into the river. Approximately four feet square, it had seemed adequate for their needs. but now, piled high with everything that stood between them and the elements, it looked small and inconsequential. That it would also be called on to anchor them together as they forded the river, seemed asking more than the small craft could possibly manage. Nevertheless, they gingerly edged it into the water.
The water was colder than Kirk would normally consider swimming in. The snow melt that had doubled the river's size had also plunged its temperature to near freezing. They'd have to get across as quickly as possible. He took the lead and resolutely waded in. Spock and Ranulf held on to the sides as the raft began to float and move into the river's flow. Only ten feet from shore, they stopped. The water was already up to their waists.
"Once it hits my chest, I'm going to start swimming. It'll be faster that way. If you can't keep up, try to just hang on and kick your feet." Kirk waited until both men nodded in agreement and then started forward again. After only a few minutes he pushed off, his feet barely touching bottom. He pulled the raft behind him and swam as best he could with one arm. The extra exertion warmed him a bit, and he fell into a regular rhythm. Kirk had started to think that their crossing would be without incident when more than half way across, the small craft shot to the side, caught in whatever was imbedded on the river's floor.
"Damn!" Kirk tried tugging it free. "Both of you, hold on. I'm going underneath, see if I can break it loose."
Spock pulled himself along until he was next to Kirk. "Wait. Let us try it once more. Perhaps if we all pull from this side."
He nodded and waited for Ranulf to move to his side. The Romulan's teeth were chattering, and he looked exhausted.
"Are you going to be all right?" Kirk asked.
Ranulf only nodded and moved into position.
Between the three of them they managed to get the raft free. But Kirk could tell that both Spock and Ranulf were fast losing energy. The cold was sapping their strength.
Kirk started them forward again. Spock stayed at his side, and they swam in an awkward synchronization, each giving one arm to the effort.
The shore drew nearer. Spock had begun to shiver, but Kirk was sure they were going to make it. Twenty feet from the riverbank he felt the small craft tilt, and turned to see Ranulf lose his hold and sink under the water.
"Spock, hurry!" Kirk didn't say anything else. Instead he redoubled his efforts, pulling the raft and Spock into the shallows. When he felt ground beneath his feet, he turned and started back into the deeper water.
"Jim, wait!" Spock started to let go of the raft to follow his captain.
"No! Get to shore. I'll be right back!"
"No, you will be unable to retrieve him alone."
"Damn it, Spock, do as I say!" He didn't wait to see what Spock would do, but dove under the water and made for the last place he had seen the Romulan. It took longer than Kirk thought, and he had to come up for air just as he got there.
Kirk glanced toward shore, and saw Spock pulling the raft out of the water. He dove back under and started searching, swimming in the direction of the river's flow. The water was murky, though not deep. Plants were rooted to the bottom, testament to the river's recent lower level. It had been their bad luck to get here during spring thaw.
He moved along the debris. He knew he had to find the Romulan soon if the young man was to survive. His need for air was becoming critical when he finally saw Ranulf. He grabbed the lifeless body and tried to resurface, but the body in his arms was dragging him back. This was what he had feared the most. Neither Vulcanoid had the buoyancy of a human's body. The light above seemed far away as his lungs threatened to let go. Suddenly, Spock was there.
The Vulcan grabbed one of Ranulf's arms and the three men headed to the surface. Mere feet away, Kirk's air gave out and he broke the surface wheezing and coughing as he took in the cold water. Spock held on to Ranulf until Kirk could get his bearings and then they headed for shore. Between the two of them they managed to get the Romulan onto dry land.
Kirk fell to his knees and wrenched out the half of the river he felt he had swallowed. It took several minutes before he was able to calm his stomach and catch his breath. He gazed over at Spock and saw that the Vulcan had managed to get Ranulf breathing again. The Romulan was on his side, still disgorging the dirty water.
Kirk crawled over. "How's he doing?"
"He will survive. But we must get him to shelter, Jim. The cold is more of a threat now." The Vulcan looked none too good himself. Pale and drawn, he shivered in the afternoon breeze.
Kirk nodded and wearily stumbled to his feet. With Spock's help he was able to get Ranulf over his shoulder. While Spock dragged the raft behind him, the two men made for the shelter of a thick stand of trees. They managed to get the makeshift boat braced against some trees and spread a couple of blankets atop the leaves collected beneath.
They pulled Ranulf's wet clothes from his body and settled him at the closed end of the lean-to. After making sure he was beginning to warm in the cocoon of blankets, they shed their own clothes and crawled in. They did not so much fall asleep, as pass out.
The fire was a welcome heat, and Ranulf scooted as close as he dared. He stared mesmerized by the flames. He had awakened to the warmth of Spock's arms as the Vulcan carried him to the campfire, and now he sat wrapped in blankets, content. The sun was beginning to set. They were in for another chilly night.
Spock approached and positioned himself by the fire. He handed Ranulf a container of heated water and a generous portion of roots, nuts and berries. "Eat. It will aid in your recovery."
Ranulf studied the food. He was hungry, but more curious. "Where is Kirk?"
"Asleep." Spock motioned to the bed of leaves under the raft. The human lay motionless under a blanket. "It was he who prepared the fire and set up camp while I foraged for more food."
"Aren't you tired?" Ranulf popped a berry into his mouth as he studied the Vulcan. Spock's hair was still slightly damp and it curled slightly about his neck. It made him look even more beautiful.
"I have rested. But I wished to ascertain your continued health before retiring for the night." He looked up into the fading light. "There does not seem to be a threat of rain. If you wish, you may sleep by the fire."
"I just might. How long was I out?"
"Six hours, seventeen minutes."
"I don't remember what happened. The last thing I do remember is clinging to that damn raft and being cold. I don't think I've ever been so cold before."
"You lost your hold and sank beneath the water."
Ranulf gazed at Spock in delight. "So I owe you my life. I wondered at the bruises." He examined the marks around his forearms that could only have been left by someone of considerable strength.
"No, not to me. Jim is the one who went after you. I merely helped him pull you out of the water."
"He saved me?"
"You are surprised. I was aware of your animosity towards him. I was not aware that you had used it to totally blind yourself to what kind of man he is." Spock's tone was cold, disapproving.
"You're angry." Ranulf hesitated before speaking. "Maybe you have the right to be. I don't know." He pulled at the grass that grew sparsely around them, unwilling to meet Spock's eyes. "All I know is that I want you, but all you want is him. And he knows that. If the situation had been reversed, I don't think I would have risked my life for him."
"And does that not tell you why I love him?" Spock gently asked.
Ranulf looked up and his eyes were full. "You could never love anyone else, could you?"
The Vulcan's features softened and he shook his head. "There can be no other for me. That was ordained from the moment of our first meeting, I think. There is so much of him you have refused to see. I have never known a being of greater personal strength, or stronger compassion. He is unsurpassed as a leader, but is unafraid of showing tenderness. He has taught me much of life, and of myself."
The Romulan nodded and looked away. "I think I'll sleep out here tonight."
Spock said nothing. He merely stood and headed toward the lean-to and his lover.
The Vulcan crawled under the shelter and took his place next to the human. With a small noise, Kirk pulled him to his side.
The long rest made the next day's journey easier. They followed the river along its path and took complete comfort in each other's company.
Kirk had been pleasantly surprised to wake that morning in a warm bed, Spock in his arms. Ranulf lay close to the dying fire. It had been the first of many surprises.
The Romulan had undergone a complete transformation. Gone was the sarcastic young man who had found any excuse to throw a barb. Instead, Kirk saw for the first time the man who had loved Senius and been loved in return. It was as if they had acquired a helpful and considerate guide. Ranulf would identify landmarks and points of interest. His dry wit a source of amusement for his fellow travelers.
It was a clear day, and they managed to set a good pace. By the time they made camp that night, they had traveled a great deal further than expected.
"We should get to the cabin tomorrow sometime. Late afternoon, I'd imagine." Ranulf turned the roots as they cooked in the fire. They had discovered that roasting them in the leaves that grew along the river's edge added a pleasing flavor.
"How far are we from the canyon?" Kirk lay back, propped up on an elbow.
Ranulf shrugged. "Not too far. There's an outcropping near the entrance that looks like a kneeling figure. It's hard to miss. After that, it's straight in."
"Are you concerned about your mother?" Spock asked. Ranulf had finally mentioned that the cabin happened to be occupied.
"Not really. She knew I'd need help getting out. As long as I'm with you, there shouldn't be a problem. Ariadna's pretty good with a weapon though. We need to make very sure she sees us coming."
"Ariadna? You call your mother by her first name?" Kirk sat up and reached for the roasted pod Ranulf handed him.
Ranulf laughed. "Yes, always. I don't think she was comfortable being called 'mother'. She's been part of the underground most of her life. Maybe it made her feel more vulnerable to suddenly have a kid to take care of."
"What of your father?" Spock took his portion and carefully unwrapped his dinner.
"He died before I was born. He was a soldier in the Imperial army. I don't know how he and Ariadna got together. She's never really talked about him. But I don't think he knew what she was into."
"And she lives out here all by herself?" Kirk had to admire a woman like that. His own mother had run their farm almost single-handedly after his dad had died.
"I was surprised, too. But she seems to like it. I think the only time she goes into town is for supplies or when she wanted to get information to me."
"Information? From out here?"
"Don't get the impression that she's isolated. She has a receiver. And she's kept in contact with the underground. That's how I finally found out how to open the tunnel. They got the information to her, and she passed it on to me."
They learned a great deal about the Romulan that evening. Kirk could finally see what had drawn Senius, a member of the aristocracy, to him. He contemplated the changes in the young man across from him. Spock had gone to meditate a short distance away, leaving the two men alone.
Ranulf noticed Kirk watching him. "Do I meet your approval?" The words were said in jest.
Kirk smiled. "I think so. But I'd be interested in knowing why the change."
"Isn't saving my life reason enough?"
Kirk remained silent. Spock had told him of their conversation, but he knew there was more to it than mere gratitude.
"All right. I guess I've quit seeing you as a rival." Ranulf gave an amused snort. "Like I was ever your rival. Spock never showed anything but that he was crazy about you. I suppose I can finally understand why. Or maybe it's closer to the truth to say I finally admit to why." The Romulan grew pensive. "I wanted him so badly. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. Rather than accept it, I preferred the fantasy that you weren't good enough for him, and that once I made him see that, he'd turn to me. When he told me that you had risked your life to safe mine...I couldn't hide from the truth anymore. Besides, I had already figured out that he wasn't ever going to leave you."
"You had?"
"Yeah." Ranulf squirmed slightly. "I overheard you that day in the meadow, right before we got to the river. I saw the way you were with each other. It was so much like me and Senius. It gave me a lot to think about. Yesterday just sealed it."
Kirk sat up and leaned forward. "Did your mother know about you and Senius?"
"Sure. Why do you ask?"
"I...I just wondered."
"You're worried, aren't you?"
Kirk threw him a wary look. "Maybe."
"Will it make a difference in what you feel?"
"Of course not."
"Then don't worry about it. I can't imagine the Federation is any stricter than the Empire. I won't say we didn't have our problems; a lot of people look down on this sort of thing. But it was worth it."
Kirk thought about it a moment. "I know it's worth it. He's worth it. And it's not really me I'm worried about. There are still those extreme mindsets on Earth, but mostly it's not an issue. It's Vulcan I worry about, and how it'll affect Spock."
"Vulcan? Why would Vulcan have a problem with it? Warrior bonding was a big deal there at one time. I can't imagine they've changed that much."
Kirk laughed and shrugged. "I hope you're right."
"His and my people share an awfully lot of history. In the scheme of things, we haven't been apart all that long. I've got a feeling you'll be pleasantly surprised at how they take the news."
"How did your people take the news?"
The Romulan shrugged. "The men in our company weren't too thrilled. But they seemed to blame Senius more than me." Ranulf shook his head. "It was as if they thought he had seduced me."
"Why would they think that?"
"I don't know. Maybe because Senius was of the aristocracy, they half expected something like that from him. It didn't help that he tended to keep to himself. Aloof." He smiled. "Like Spock."
Kirk grinned and nodded in agreement. "There have been those that mistook Spock's reticence for snobbery. When I first met him..." He groped for words. "It was as if he stood behind a wall. All I could think of was that I wanted to get behind that wall, know the man within."
"Makes them all the more memorable when you have to work so hard at getting a response, doesn't it?" Ranulf looked up into the night sky, his mood suddenly changing. "But I never would have believed that someone's death could do to me what Senius' did. Sometimes, I still can feel him next to me in the night. Remember how it was to hold him. I would give anything..." His words trailed off.
It grew quiet between them as both men contemplated love and its loss. But Kirk was glad he had decided to speak about his relationship with Spock to the young Romulan. He normally wouldn't be so open about how things were between them, but it had seemed something he could do to lessen Ranulf's pain. And he liked this new Ranulf, or really, the old one who had finally found his way home.
Spock appeared out of the dark, and the three men prepared for sleep. The cold was finally giving up the nights, so when Ranulf settled his blankets next to the fire he forbore from feeding it. The dying embers would be enough.
Ranulf looked over at his two friends as they ducked into the shelter and under the covers. They belonged together. Just as he and Senius had belonged together. He wondered what his lover would have thought of the two men. He smiled. It would have been interesting to see.
He sighed and let his thoughts drift. He was happier, more content, than he had been in a long time. Anger had been his companion for so long. It felt as if he was free of a crushing burden.
Tomorrow they would finally reach safety. Ranulf almost laughed when he thought of his friends' reaction to the one thing he had kept from them. He could hardly wait to see the look on their faces when he showed them his surprise. It would be his gift to them for giving him back his life.
He thought Senius would have approved. His lover was dead, but not his love. Ranulf turned on his back and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would dream of him tonight. He'd like that.
Kirk turned in his sleep and his arm landed across Spock's chest. Spock's eyes opened and he blinked against the morning light that shone in on them. The sun was just topping the faraway trees.
He gently removed Kirk's arm and sat up. There was still a light chill, but he knew it would warm up by the time they broke camp and started on their way. He suspected that Kirk would insist on a dip in the river before heading inland. Spock shivered at the thought.
He reached for his jacket placed nearby and shrugged into it before getting out of bed. He slowly maneuvered his way out so as not to waken his friend, but tucked the blanket around the sleeping form before moving away.
He could see Ranulf's head peeking out of his blanket as Spock walked to the cold remains of their fire. He supposed the noise he would make as he started it up again would awaken the Romulan, but there was no help for it. Kirk, he had found, could sleep through quite a bit when not weighed down by the responsibilities of command. His captain's adaptability often amazed Spock.
He proceeded to gather more wood and neatly positioned it within the circle of stones Kirk had created the day before. Spock added kindling and then looked around for the matches. He remembered that Ranulf had started the fire the night before. There was no getting around it. He would have to awaken him.
He moved over until he was kneeling over Ranulf and lightly touched his shoulder. "Ranulf?"
When that got no response, he gently shook him. "Ranulf, where did you place the matches?" Ranulf?"
There was no movement. Spock frowned and shook harder. With dawning horror, he realized something was terribly wrong.
"Jim!"
Kirk bolted up to see Spock resting on his haunches, his head lowered. He jumped up and went to stand next to him.
"What's the matter?" He glanced, puzzled, at Ranulf before returning his attention to Spock.
"He is dead."
"Dead?" Kirk knelt down and slowly pulled the blanket off the body. "What happened?"
"I do not know. I thought him asleep. It was only when I was unable to rouse him..." Spock closed his eyes for a moment. His sorrow was a like a black shroud, its weight pulling him down. Ranulf had only just begun to live again.
"I don't understand." Anger tinged Kirk's voice. But Spock understood that this had been Kirk's way of dealing with pain for a long time.
"Perhaps he was ill. We may never know."
"Oh, Ranulf." Kirk hugged himself and seemed to draw inward.
"Jim?" Spock touched his bondmate's face.
The human did not respond at first. But after a moment, he straightened and stood up. "We should bury him."
"Yes." Spock got up off his knees. I will look for something to dig with." He started to walk away, but turned to study his lover. Despair radiated off Kirk. The human's hands were clenched at his side, his face closed. Spock could only imagine how much of this Kirk would take on himself. He walked back. "It was not your fault."
"I should have made him sleep in the lean-to."
"Do not do this. We do not know why he died. It may have made no difference."
Kirk pulled his gaze away from Ranulf's body and turned to his bondmate. "I can't change how I am, Spock. Just give me a while to work through it." He smiled weakly. "It's just a shock, that's all."
"I understand. You will miss him. As shall I." He left then to find something to dig a grave.
Spock found a sturdy piece of wood that looked like it would suffice. When he returned, Kirk was attempting to wrap the body in a blanket.
"Lift his shoulders while I get this end." The human had Ranulf's legs in one arm while he spread the blanket under them. The Romulan's pant leg had rolled up, and Kirk suddenly stopped in surprise. "Spock, come look at this."
Spock lowered the body and moved to Kirk's side. Kirk pointed to the exposed calf. A crescent shaped wound stood out on the pale flesh.
"A craycas?" Spock looked warily around.
"I think so. Must have been attracted by his body heat. I knew I should have—"
"No, if he had been with us, the animal would still have found him. Or it would be one of us lying here."
Kirk stared at the wound, but then slowly nodded his head.
They finished wrapping the body and then went to find a place to bury him.
They decided on a spot away from the river. On a high point near a stand of flowering trees, they made his resting place.
It was well past midday by the time they were on their way. They silently took leave of their late companion, and started down the animal trail that wound along side the river. Neither spoke, and the sounds of the forest seemed muted in their grief.
They reached the crouching landmark as the sun was starting its journey down.
"Do you think we should keep going?" Kirk stopped to allow his bondmate to catch up. Spock had lagged behind all day, allowing a space between them as a cushion for emotions left scarred.
"Ranulf indicated that the house was close to the entrance of the canyon. And I do not relish the idea of sleeping another night outdoors."
"Yeah, me either. Okay, we'll keep going. Just watch your step."
Spock managed a passable effort at false indignity. "I am always cognizant of the whereabouts of my feet, Captain."
Kirk smiled for the first time that day. "I'm sure you are, First Officer. But do it, anyway."
The were slowed somewhat by the gathering darkness. But by the time the last rays of the sun were gone, they had entered a small glade and had caught sight of the house. It was at the other end, the forest an ebony backdrop. It was larger than they thought it would be. A two story building with a verandah that wrapped half way around it, it sat dark and forlorn in the night.
"Doesn't look like anyone's home." Kirk thought of the woman he had looked forward to meeting. Now he dreaded it.
"Perhaps she is already asleep."
"Maybe. But you'd think she'd leave a light on. She knew that Ranulf was planning an escape, and that he'd head here. It doesn't make sense that she wouldn't have some kind of signal to let him know she was waiting."
"It does look deserted." Spock looked at their surroundings. They were still in the trees, invisible from the house. "Perhaps a signal from us?"
"Like what?" The lanterns had given out days before. All they had left were the matches. "Maybe we could fashion some kind of torch."
Spock nodded, and they went about collecting what they needed. They lit the strips of cloth torn from a blanket and wrapped around a thick tree branch.
"Okay, let's go."
Together they moved tentatively forward, always watching for any sign of life. They made it to the porch without an appearance by its occupant. Kirk doused their torch in the dirt and they took the flight of four stairs onto the verandah to stand at the front door.
"Now what?" Kirk tried peering through the glass panes of the door.
"Perhaps knock."
Kirk gave Spock a sour look and lightly rapped on the door. After several moments he tried again, this time loudly enough that they both cringed slightly as the noise echoed through the silent night.
"I don't think she's here." Kirk tried the door, and was surprised to find it unlocked. He threw a look at Spock and the two men slowly walked in.
If the house had been occupied, it hadn't been recently. Though everything was neatly in place, moonlight showed a layer of dust on everything. In the kitchen there were no dishes out, though the pantry was well stocked. There was a small bathroom with a large tub that Kirk greedily eyed. But it and the small sink next to it were dry.
After making a thorough inspection of the ground floor, they took the narrow staircase to the upper level. It was the same. Both bedrooms that comprised the upstairs were empty, the beds made.
"I don't understand. It looks like someone lives here." Kirk rubbed his chin in thought.
"Should we continue our search? I seem to recall seeing a large barn-like structure from the kitchen window."
"No. I don't think it'd be a good idea to go stumbling around in the dark when we don't have to. We'll sleep here tonight and then make a complete search of the area tomorrow."
"I noticed your fascination with the cleansing facilities." Spock pressed his lips together to hide a smile.
"Damn right you did. We're going to figure out how to get the lights on, and then I'm going to have a long, hot soak. And then, Mr. Spock." He turned and gave his lover an intense look. "I'm going to have you."
"You taste great." Kirk slowly licked the verdant cock in his hand, before sliding it back in his mouth. He sucked at the tip, tasting the drop of pre-cum there.
Spock moaned and arched against the cool surface. They were clean, dry and snug in the large bed of the back bedroom. Though they really weren't worried about being interrupted, it seemed rather gauche to use the missing woman's bed. The Vulcan reached out and dug his fingers into Kirk's ass, conveniently positioned at arm's length.
With a last sucking pull, Kirk released the organ. He ran his tongue down to swirl around the plump balls, pushing Spock's legs apart to better reach them and took one in his mouth. He came up on his hands and knees to awkwardly move over until he straddled his bondmate. His own cock dangled enticingly above Spock's face.
Spock did not disappoint him. His own organ was swallowed up by the warm heat of the Vulcan's mouth.
It was gently held, an added sensation as Kirk returned to Spock's shaft. Engorged and heavy, it filled his mouth. He sucked it in deeper, so that its head threatened to push against the back of his throat. He pulled back, only to take it again and again, until the Vulcan beneath was moaning with pleasure. Suddenly Spock stiffened, and Kirk's mouth was filled with his lover's semen.
He continued to gently suck on the deflating cock while Spock's breathing returned to normal. He knew the Vulcan was ready to move on when his mouth firmed around Kirk's organ.
Spock began to suck in earnest, as his hands held Kirk firmly in place.
Kirk brought his head up with a cry, releasing his prize. His hips began to slowly undulate, Spock's tongue doing wonderful things as it slid over and around his hardened shaft.
God, it felt good. No one had ever sucked his cock the way Spock did. No one ever could. He started rocking harder, his orgasm building. He was almost there. He lowered his head, and looked down between their bodies. He saw his organ slipping in and out of Spock's mouth.
Kirk came with a strangled cry, losing himself in it as he pumped his seed into the hot cavity.
His arms quivered from the strain of holding himself up while riding out the sensations inundating his body. His cock was released with a wet sound, and he found himself lifted to be resettled at the Vulcan's side.
He hadn't known, until he lay within the curve of Spock's arm, how much he had needed this reconnection to his lover. Their friend's loss had weighed heavily upon him, shadowing the day's journey. The empty house had only added to his dark sense of foreboding.
They lay quietly in each other's arms. Kirk was tired. It had been a long and stressful day. Yet he felt on edge, filled with a sense of disquiet he could neither explain nor expel. He was not surprised when Spock began to speak.
"We have been gone from the Enterprise for five standard months."
"'Five standard months'? That's rather vague coming from you, isn't it?" The gentle tease fell flat.
Spock shrugged. "I saw no need for a more accurate account. We are both too aware of just how long we have been here. Yet in all that time, I have never doubted that we would find our way home."
"And now?" Kirk came up on one elbow to study the tightly locked visage of his lover.
Spock returned the look, but was forced to look away when he was unable to keep a small part of his worry from slipping his controls. "Today, for the first time I began to fear that it could take many years."
"Because of Ranulf." It was not a question.
"Perhaps. His death closed the door on any chance of a swift departure. With no contacts, no allies, we are at the mercy of whatever fate may send our way."
Kirk looked around the room, and then out the open window. The sheer drapes moved lazily in the breeze. This world was so much like Earth. There had been times during their journey here when he had almost felt he was on the planet of his birth. Almost. But to spend years here, maybe the rest of their lives.... "I hate to think we'll never get back. The only thing that makes that thought bearable is that we're together. But I would never stop trying. You know that, don't you, Spock?"
"Yes. You would allow us no other course."
"Is that the only reason you would do it?" Kirk thought he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Spock say it.
The Vulcan smiled and pulled the unresisting human down into his arms. "No, Jim. We share the same need. I would endure because I would be at your side. But I have no wish to end my days lost in a world not of my making. Our life is out there." He motioned toward the window and the night sky. "Among the stars. If we never return to them, it will not be for lack of trying. For us, there is no other way."
With a contented sigh, Kirk allowed himself to relax against his friend. His first officer. His other half. It was all he needed to know.
Morning brought them up from the bed and down the stairs. They ate from the stores in the small pantry, cleaned up after themselves, and then set off to begin a thorough search of the surrounding area.
There was a small garden in the back, now overgrown with tangled vines and the gradual creeping back of the forest. Kirk moved through the tall stalks of some unknown plant as he surveyed the once cultivated area. It was obviously edible, for signs of damage from animals making a meal of it were evident. It was then he noticed the small structure tucked off to the side of the house.
He caught Spock's attention, and the two men walked over. As they neared, Kirk realized it was a coop. One that looked startlingly like the hen houses on his own family's farm. Dead animals littered the ground inside it.
"They must have starved to death." Kirk grimaced.
"Or they may have succumbed to the cold." Spock was bent down, peering into the enclosure when he suddenly straightened. "There is a body in the corner."
Kirk followed Spock's gaze and saw the bundle he had mistaken for a pile of rags. He glanced at the Vulcan and then opened the coop door.
They walked in, gingerly pushing aside the small remains until they were standing next to the corpse. The body was desiccated. But from the hair and its size, they felt they had found Ranulf's mother.
Spock came down on one knee. He carefully opened the woman's fist. A handful of feed poured out. "It would seem that she died of natural causes."
"Why do you say that?" Kirk peered over the Vulcan's shoulder.
"She was in an enclosed structure. There does not seem to be any signs of an attack. She never let go of the feed. I would think perhaps some sort of cardiovascular disruption."
"God, I'm glad Ranulf never had to see her like this." Kirk looked around. "We need some sort of tarp to wrap her in."
Spock stood up. "Perhaps in the large building in back. I shall look in there."
Kirk nodded, and the two exited the cage. Kirk sat on the steps that led to the back door of the house. He buried his head in his hands, letting the sorrow and regret wash over him. In the back of his mind, the woman had been a small hope. Someone who could have been their bridge to the rest of this world. Now even that was gone.
"Jim! JIM!!"
Kirk jumped up at the sound of raw emotion in Spock's voice, and ran toward the building. The large door was still open and he burst in, only to skid to a halt next to the stunned Vulcan.
Spock had a large tarp in his hands. His clothes and hair were covered in dust. But he continued to look into the gloom at the back of the building.
Kirk turned his head to follow Spock's stare, and his eyes went wide as he saw what so mesmerized the Vulcan. Glowing in the dust-filled light that filtered in through the wooden slats, the nose of a small Romulan scout ship peeked out from its hiding place.
McCoy pushed his plate away and sat back in his chair. The cafeteria at Starfleet headquarters wasn't exactly known for their cuisine. He gulped the last of his coffee down and made a face. They didn't seem to be able to get anything right.
He stood up. Might as well get it over with. He was to meet Scotty in Admiral Nogura's office. Both of them were being pressured to take new postings. Scotty had thought to stay with the Enterprise, see her through her refit. But the powers that be had decided otherwise. With no one to fight for her, the ship was being pushed aside. Who knew when she would ever fly again.
He made his way out of the building. But once outside, he hesitated to make that final walk. It was over for him. He had decided to call it quits, leave Starfleet. And it didn't take a genius to figure out why.
He probably could have stood to re-up and be posted to another ship, as long as he had known that, somewhere, the Enterprise still made her way through the stars. It would have been as if a part of Kirk and Spock still lived on. But even that had been taken away from him.
He chuckled ruefully. If anyone would have told him that he could get so maudlin over two men, he would have sent the guys in white jackets after them. Especially when one of those men was a certain Vulcan who had managed to irritate him practically every day of their association. Yet he knew it was true. When they had gone, they had taken the last of his childlike wonder with them.
Might as well get it over with. He headed for the main offices. It was early spring and the concourse was filled with cadets from the nearby academy, so he didn't see the Scotsman at first. It was the ruckus his friend was creating as he tried to push his way through the crowd that first got McCoy's attention.
"Scotty!" He waved, thinking that if Scotty knew he had been seen, he'd give off his frantic efforts. But McCoy's action only seemed to make him worse. The Scott started calling his name and cussing at anyone foolhardy enough to get in his way.
"McCoy! They're back!"
McCoy frowned. Who was back? And from where? Sometimes his friend could be indecipherable. And why wasn't he at Nogura's office?
Scotty finally got through the major obstacle of cadets and was now only twenty feet from the doctor. "I never believed it, McCoy! Not for a second! I knew the lads would be back!"
The lads? McCoy stilled, unwilling to believe what he was hearing. Afraid to believe what his heart was telling him. It couldn't be.
The two men met in the center of the concourse. One out of breath, a smile plastered across his face. The other whose heart was pounding so hard he could hardly breathe.
"What are you saying?" McCoy whispered. But he knew. At that moment, he knew.
Scotty put out his hands and grabbed the doctor by the shoulders. "They were picked up four days ago flying a Romulan scout ship. They're alive, McCoy! And they're coming home!"
Kirk stretched and then snuggled back against the warm body. Spock was still asleep, but instinctively pulled his lover against him. Kirk smiled into the soft hair of the Vulcan's chest. God, it felt good to sleep in a real bed; to get up when they liked and have breakfast waiting.
There was so much to take in since being found by the Federation cruiser, their own ship now sitting in the hold. Brought figuratively back from the dead, they were returning heroes—though Kirk couldn't figure out exactly what they had done to be considered heroic. And it seemed the fate of one Romulan was of little interest. If it hadn't been for Ranulf, he and Spock would probably never have made it off that planet. But no one wanted to hear about that.
The small ship had been kept in perfect condition. Spock had only needed to recharge the fuel cells and make some minor adjustments before she had been space worthy. Even taking time to bury Ranulf's mother, they had been on their way within a few hours.
It had been a harrowing three days as they sped toward the Neutral Zone and home. The trip had been one of long stretches of nerve-shattering quiet interspersed with moments of terrifying confrontation. Twice they had been intercepted by Romulan vessels. Spock's mastery of their language, coupled with a ship that miraculously was still registered as that of the Empire's fleet, allowed them to bluff their way through. They had both given a hearty sigh of relief on reaching Federation territory.
Their ship was sighted by the Federation vessel within hours. Spock had set up a general broadcast, fearing that what had been their salvation on one side of the zone, could get them shot out of space on the other. There had been a few tense moments, but voice prints had proven their identity beyond a doubt. Tractor beams had pulled the small ship into the starship's belly and nothing had been the same since.
But they'd be home soon, really home. Earth was only hours away. Earth, and the Enterprise.
"Jim?"
"I thought you were asleep." But he was glad Spock was finally awake. There was so little time left before the circus they knew awaited them.
"No, merely evaluating our circumstances."
"What do you thing?"
"I do not know. There are too many variables. We are not the same as when we left."
"No, we're not." Kirk pondered their situation for a moment, thinking of the bond and all the changes wrought in both of them by their journey. They were both stronger for it. But more than that, they both were sure of their priorities. "But are we really so different? And aren't the changes ones we would have made in any event?"
"Those have been my thoughts. I do not know how much longer I could have kept myself from confessing my regard for you."
"Your 'regard'? I'd say it's a bit more than that." Kirk raised his head to find his bondmate looking down at him with no small humor in his eyes. "What's so funny?"
"I was thinking of the good doctor's remark."
Kirk grinned. McCoy had been a welcome sight. But the doctor had been practically babbling through the line from Nogura's office. He'd never seen his friend so overwhelmed. What had come through loud and clear though, was McCoy's overpowering joy at seeing the friends he had thought never to see again. But when his comment 'that at least they had had each other,' had brought a flush of color to Kirk's face, McCoy's words had stuttered to a stop. The doctor's face had gone bright red as he realized his double entendre.
Kirk couldn't help it. He had started laughing. The ship's captain had been thoroughly confused by the sight of Kirk laughing until tears were streaming down his face, and a bemused Vulcan standing patiently at his side.
McCoy had finally grinned, and suddenly it was as if they had never been gone.
"You think he's happy for us?" Kirk asked, curious as to how Spock felt about not just McCoy, but Nogura and Scotty obviously being aware of the changed status of their relationship.
"I believe so. The doctor is a perceptive man. I would not be surprised to learn that he was aware of our feelings for each other, perhaps even before we ourselves were."
Kirk thought about it a moment. "You might be right. Bones said you'd do just about anything for me. I didn't know at the time that he meant anything. But it doesn't bother you, him knowing?"
Spock tilted his head in the way he tended to when analyzing a situation. "It would not have been my first choice to have Admiral Nogura and his staff present, but McCoy has proven to be a trusted friend—and an ally we may yet need."
They weren't out of the woods yet. Though Nogura had been pleased at their return, their future in Starfleet was not yet clear. They'd have to fight for the Enterprise and the dependancy posting their bonded state demanded.
Kirk raised up on his elbow and threw one leg over the Vulcan's hips. Spock's organ was full and heavy against his thigh. "Well, I'm glad Bones is okay with it because I'm not giving you up, Mr. Spock."
"Indeed?" The Vulcan's eyebrow rose, and with one smooth motion he pulled his captain on top of him.
"Yes, indeed," Kirk responded as he slowly lowered his head, his mouth lingering above his lover's for only a moment before closing the space between them.
finis
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-08 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-09 10:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-15 01:58 pm (UTC)I loved how Spock meade certain again and again that he belongs to Kirk...*dreamysigh*.
Again the story captured me and went with me whenever duties or chores forced me to inrupt reading.
Thank you so much for this!
(Also, I saw your question at the KSC but I don't know anything about changing files or that sort...I'm sorry!)
Kindly and gratfully,
T'Racionn
no subject
Date: 2010-06-16 10:11 am (UTC)I loved how Spock meade certain again and again that he belongs to Kirk...*dreamysigh*.
Again the story captured me and went with me whenever duties or chores forced me to inrupt reading.
Thank you so much for this!
You're very welcome! I'm glad you were able to finish it—in spite of those pesky chores. *g* And thank you for reading and commenting.
Also, I saw your question at the KSC but I don't know anything about changing files or that sort...I'm sorry!)
Kindly and gratfully,
T'Racionn
Yes, it appears it's not going to be easy to replace Jenna's work. We'll keep looking for someone with the expertise, though, because it appears a lot of people use the Excel version.
no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 01:44 am (UTC)Can you believe I started this story weeks and weeks ago on the archive and then I lost track of it? LOL - I had no idea this was the same story until I started reading it because I had forgotten the title. I'm soooo happy I found it again!
Thank you for posting it here!
no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 11:04 am (UTC)Thank you! It's always gratifying to hear when a story works so well for someone.
Can you believe I started this story weeks and weeks ago on the archive and then I lost track of it? LOL - I had no idea this was the same story until I started reading it because I had forgotten the title. I'm soooo happy I found it again!
It is somewhat long, so I can certainly understand not getting through it in one reading, *g* Of course I'm glad you managed to find it here.
Thank you for posting it here!
You're very welcome. :-) And thanks again for reading and for the wonderful comments.