Future Imperfect (K/S) Pt 5B of 13
Jul. 2nd, 2011 11:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseTitle: Future Imperfect
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Summary: In the ruins of one world, two men of different planets meet. One looks to the future, one to the past. But as their lives intertwine, they find that their happiness is dependent on the past one seeks and the future the other fights for.
Notes: Originally published by Kathy Resch as a stand-alone novel. Artwork by Lorraine Brevig and Virginia Sky.
Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
artconserv and cluesby4 for allowing me to post their beautiful artwork here.
Chapter 5, Pt 2
“What is that, a geiger counter?”
Spock continued taking readings. “Among other things.”
Kirk walked over. “You’re from outer space and you’re using a geiger counter?”
“I am not ‘from outer space,’ I am from Vulcan and the instrument, known as a tricorder, has several functions.” He turned the instrument off and gave it to Kirk who had extended his hand.
Kirk turned it upside down, examining every aspect. “So, if it’s not a—wait, don’t tell me. It only looks like a geiger counter so no one will know what it really is.”
“Precisely.”
“So what does it do?”
Kirk handed it back and Spock looped it onto his saddle.
“Besides measuring radiation levels, it will scan for life forms and their corresponding biological markers—”
“It tells you what kind of animal it is.”
“I believe I said that,” Spock noted before continuing. “It allows me to differentiate food sources and,” he reached up and toggled a switch on the instrument’s side. “It provides light.”
“Handy, though we should be in Cedar Rapids long before dark.”
“That is something I wish to discuss with you. Jim, my readings verify that your mother’s assessment was correct; there was indeed an event at the nuclear facility.”
“Did it blow up?”
“Hardly. If that had been the case, it would be impossible for us to enter. The readings I am getting are for cesium-137 and strontium-90; I believe what may have happened is that, while the reactor itself was turned off, the spent fuel rods were not disposed of. Left in their ponds, the rods would continue to expel alpha and beta particles, gamma rays and heat. With no power to replenish the water, it simply boiled and evaporated away and a fire broke out, sending radiation out in all directions.”
“But we can still enter, right?”
“With qualifications. We will soon be entering what your people call the ‘exclusion zone.’ After so much time, radiation levels have fallen to such a point that spending several days in the area would not be detrimental, but I must enter the city alone.”
“Wait a minute. You just said it was safe.”
“Yes, to a point. But the city itself lies much closer to the center of the contamination. My body can withstand the higher levels of radiation which could still be there much better than yours can.”
Kirk frowned, rubbing his chin nervously. “I don’t like it. You don’t even know what those levels are. Are these books really worth your life?”
“I will be monitoring the situation continually. If the radiation climbs too high, I will retreat. The information I seek will do me little good if I am no longer alive to make use of it. Also,” he hesitated, knowing the human would not like what he was about to say. “If for any reason I do not return, you are not to attempt a rescue.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I’m going in after you.”
“No, Jim. If I do not return, it is because I am either dead or near enough so that it makes no difference. It would also very likely mean that you would be sacrificing your life for nothing, for I would still not survive but now neither would you.”
“You don’t know that,” Kirk argued.
“Yes, I do. And if you were to think it through, so would you.”
Kirk stared at him, his face hard. Finally he gave a reluctant nod. Spock was well aware how much Kirk disliked the state of affairs but could do no other but give into the logic of the situation. They mounted up and started north, the two mules trailing behind them.
They stayed within the forest, even if it meant their progress was hindered. Yet Spock could not begrudge the time, for the area was filled with abundant flora and fauna and they often stopped to allow him to take readings. Kirk had informed him that it had been a wildlife area even before the Dark Time had come; it had had a head start in its path to its natural state.
By noon, they left behind the protection of the forest, heading out into an area of open fields. Beneath the animals’ hooves, the sound of man-made surfaces rang from time to time and to their right the remains of what must have been a major road slowly crumbled.
Gradually, signs of what once had been a good-sized city began to appear. The vegetation had done its work in bringing down what buildings there must have once been, but here and there rusting beams and concrete slabs could still be seen. The closer in they got, the more the city began to take shape, a jumble of decaying buildings that rose up in the distance. Even from here, Spock could sense the death which permeated the place.
When they reached the Cedar River, Kirk called a halt.
“We’ll camp here.”
Kirk had picked an opening right next to the river, a little ways from where the first of three bridges stretched across the water. A few hundred feet in, an island dissected the river, the bridges then continuing on onto the land on the other side.
They tethered the animals to a couple of trees and got to work. Within an hour, the camp was set up and Spock was ready to begin his journey into the city. All he was taking were two large back packs, his tricorder and a canteen of water.
“I’m not sure if any of the bridges are going to be usable. The river floods from time to time and this area has probably been inundated more than once.” Kirk stood at the water’s edge, scanning the area.
Spock studied the map he had copied from the book Winona had shown him. “It appears that the building the books are supposed to have been deposited in is approximately five hundred feet from the shore in that direction.” He pointed across the river.
“It looks dangerous.” Kirk turned and gave Spock a stern look. “Listen, if it looks like it’s not going to hold your weight or appears ready to fall apart, you turn right around and come back.”
“I will do so. I will begin with this first bridge, as it appears that the island is wider at this point; less of my time will be spent crossing water.”
Kirk nodded and stepped away, a tacit acceptance of what Spock was about to do.
Spock strode down to where the bridge met the water. The first few feet were little more than a jumble of concrete and stone. With determined steps, he walked onto the decaying bridge.
~~~~~
It took longer than he would have calculated to get across the bridge. Though still complete, in that it reached from shore to shore, there were several areas where large chunks of concrete had given way, forming craters so large that only a foot or two of the passage survived. Many of the remaining stones were slick with slime and mold, making the footing treacherous. At one point he’d almost ended up in the water when the surface crumbled beneath him. It was only his managing to throw himself to one side and onto a secure area that had saved him.
He had thought traversing the island would be easier but even there vegetation and pools of water helped to block the way. He eventually managed to reach its other side and started across the next bridge.
It was late in the afternoon by the time Spock stepped onto solid ground. The sun overhead gave off a steady heat which, added to the water pooled everywhere and the river behind him, thickened the air.
He looked back over the path that had brought him here. While on the other side of the river and out of sight, nevertheless Kirk was still very much a presence. The man was more to him than was prudent. He’d understood that the moment he realized that Kirk had returned, returned out of concern for Spock’s safety, for his life.
Spock could not say that he had never had a close associate. He could not say that he had never had a friend. What he could say was that he’d never had a t’hy’la. Yet here, on this remote and backward planet, he felt that now he did, or could have if he were to just have the courage to reach out and embrace what was building between them.
He pulled his mind away from what was fast becoming its main focus. The answers he’d come light years for could be mere steps away. In front of him, the decaying city beckoned.
He could barely make out what once had been an open avenue. Here, too, trees and underbrush grew in abandon, choking off access. He regretted not bringing some sort of implement that would have allowed him to hack his way through.
He took a reading. The area was teeming with wildlife and somewhere off to his left, perhaps three hundred feet, a particularly large quadruped prowled. He would have to be especially careful.
What amazed him most as he moved further into the city was how completely it was being consumed. Vulcan’s sun could bear down and sear the life out of the unaware but its power was nothing like this. Here, the planet itself seemed to be devouring the city, as if in retaliation for the wrongs done to it.
He continued on and for the first time the planet’s distress weighed heavily upon him. It was a quiet and dead place, for all the life forms which inhabited it. Here was the manifestation of whatever had gone wrong. He gave his head a shake, annoyed with himself. He was being unaccountably fanciful.
He almost missed the building. He’d memorized the distinctive shape of it from the picture in the book but had not noticed it at first, smothered as it was with plant life. Only a backward glance as he moved by brought it to his attention. He backtracked and approached the opening.
The inside was dark and overlaid with the heavy odor of mold. He turned on the light on his tricorder. All around mounds of what must have once been books lay about. Metal shelves lay toppled on their sides, almost eaten away with rust. He passed them by; surely the planners would have known that more than four walls would be needed to protect their cache.
He came to a stairwell. The stairs leading down ended after only six feet. Past that, water filled the entire area, creating a deep pool; whatever had been stored beneath would have been obliterated. Up then. He took each step gingerly, testing to make sure it would hold his weight. At each landing he would open the door onto the rest of the floor. Each time, he was met with devastation. Finally, he reached the fifth and last story of the building.
A large metal door greeted him. He turned the wheel at its center and slowly the door opened wide with a loud hiss, as if a seal had been broken. He waited until he was sure enough time had passed for oxygen to fill the room and then he stepped inside.
The room was like a large tomb, the entire area filled with bookcases, each shelf heavy with books. He approached the nearest bookcase and pulled a book down. It was sealed in some sort of polymer, as were all the volumes he examined as he made his way down one aisle and over to the far side of the room. Taking in its length and breadth, he calculated that the room held somewhere in the vicinity of fifty thousand books. He reached up to the top shelf of the first bookcase and grasped the first book.
~~~~~
Kirk sat before the fire, nervously casting glances across the river as a cup of coffee slowly cooled in his hands. Spock had been gone far too long.
He hadn’t worried at first. He knew getting across the bridge and then through the mess on the other side, even if it was only a short distance, would take time. And once Spock found the library he would still need to go through all the books to decide which ones he wanted to bring out. As night had fallen Kirk had settled in—building a fire, brewing some coffee and preparing a meal for Spock’s return.
But that had been hours ago. Kirk leaned toward the fire, checking his watch in the barely adequate light. Midnight. Spock had been gone over nine hours.
Damn the man! Kirk tossed what was left of his coffee onto the ground and stood up. He walked over to the water’s edge. What the hell did he do now? He couldn’t go after Spock; he wouldn’t be able to see his hand in front of his face. Besides, it would mean leaving the animals unattended and he couldn’t do that. There might not be any people around, but Kirk knew for sure that there were plenty of predators out there that would love a meal all staked out for them.
He could wait for morning and if Spock hadn’t returned by then Kirk could go looking for him, to hell with what the Vulcan wanted. There was still a risk in leaving the animals behind, but a somewhat smaller one in the light of day and one he was willing to take.
He glanced back at the camp site and scowled. He had to do something! He took a deep breath and made up his mind. Hurrying back to the fire he threw in more wood, building it up until it would be visible even across the river. He sure hoped he didn’t end up burning down the forest. That done, he went over to where the animals were tied and grabbed a long section of rope and a short-handled shovel. Maybe he couldn’t go into the city but he could at least search the bridge. Maybe even call out from the other side. If he hadn’t found Spock by then, he’d return and wait for morning before trying again.
Back at the water, Kirk carefully stepped out on the very stones Spock had used and made his way onto the bridge. For the first fifty feet or so, the campfire gave off enough light so that he could see where he was going. But the further in he got, the more he was just stumbling around in the dark. He slipped and came down hard on his hands and knees.
“Damn it!” He hung his head and pressed his lips together, fighting the pain. Finally it lessened and he got clumsily to his feet. He looked around. The only way he could tell from which direction he had come was by the fire’s soft glow in what seemed a very far ways away. Ahead of him, it was pitch black—except for a tiny light wavering in the distance.
“Spock! Spock, is that you?”
“Do not come any further. There is a large opening in the bridge not twenty feet in front of you,” Spock shouted across the distance that separated them.
Slowly, the light from Spock’s instrument grew closer and closer until Kirk could finally make out the Vulcan’s form. In each hand he carried one of the bags he had taken with him. Each was filled almost to bursting; if they didn’t weigh at least a hundred pounds each, Kirk would be amazed.
He saw Spock sidle alongside the opening, the two bags threatening to overbalance him. Kirk cautiously moved forward and met his friend just as he made it past the danger. He gazed at the load his friend carried.
“You need any help with those?”
“That will not be necessary, though I would appreciate it if you would carry my tricorder. The light is jostled as I walk and makes progress difficult.”
Kirk lifted the instrument from where it lay on Spock’s chest and pulled the strap over his head, eyeing the bags at the same time.
“Just how many books did you bring back with you?”
“Two hundred and fifty two. I would have brought more, but there was no way in which to carry them.”
“I’m surprised you can pick them up. They’ve got to weigh a couple of hundred pounds each.”
“Two hundred thirty seven point three, to be exact.”
Kirk didn’t bother to ask how Spock knew that. “And you carried them all this way by yourself.”
“My strength is amplified by your planet’s lesser gravity. And as long as we are inquiring of each other, may I ask what you are doing out here?”
“I was worried.” Kirk turned and began leading them back to land. “So sue me.”
“Jim, you were not supposed to come after me. If I had arrived any later, you could very well have ended up in the river.”
“Hey, I was being careful. I’m sure I would have noticed the hole.”
They took their time; Kirk found that the light made all the difference in the world. In less than half the time it had taken him to get as far as he had, they were back at camp. Without breaking his stride, Spock walked over and placed the two bags next to the tent before finding a place near the fire where Kirk had taken a seat.
“Here, you can probably turn this thing off,” Kirk remarked as he handed the tricorder back to Spock.
Spock did so and then gifted Kirk with a stern look. “You should not have done what you did.”
“I told you I was being—”
“I does not matter if you were being careful or not. You must never place my safety over your own.”
“Let it go, okay, Spock? We’re both back and we’re both in one piece. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”
Spock appeared willing to continue the argument but after a moment reluctantly nodded his head. “Very well.” His brow knitted. “I find it very disconcerting how I seem to constantly allow you to control the situation.”
“It’s a gift,” Kirk said with a smile. “Anyway, here,” he handed over a plate filled with a variety of dried fruit, something that may have been a potato and a couple of slices of bread. “You look like you could use it. I tried keeping the potato warm but it might have gotten a bit overdone.”
Kirk watched Spock as he ate. He was relaxed and ridiculously content, the sound of the river flowing by a sweet background music, the stars above a perfect canopy. Even after Spock had finished his meal, Kirk was happy for them to sit and enjoy the night. But eventually, his eyes began to droop. It had been a long and stress-filled day. He stood up and stretched.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed. I rinsed out our other clothes; they’re hanging over by the tent and should be dry by morning. I managed to get most of the blood out of your shirt and patch the hole but it’s never going to be the same. Still, it’s better than wearing what you’ve got on now.” He wasn’t the only one whose clothes were a little worse for wear.
“Indeed.” Spock rose and looked toward the river. “I wish to cleanse myself before retiring. I will return shortly.”
Kirk nodded and made a beeline for the tent, dusting himself off as well as he could before entering. He pulled off his boots and stretched out on his bedding. He let the last of his tension melt away and his eyes slowly closed. He was asleep before he knew it.
~~~~~
“I thought we’d camp where we did on our way up, in the forest this side of North Liberty.”
They had broken camp early. Though radiation levels were low, Spock still felt that the least amount of time that Kirk was exposed to it, the better. The books had been loaded on one of the mules, while the other took on everything else.
“That would be acceptable,” Spock responded. Though he was very much looking forward to starting on the books, it gratified him that he and Kirk still had one more night together. Out here, with just each other for company, he was the recipient of all of Kirk’s focus. It was an addictive situation and one whose loss Spock would keenly feel. As if sensing his disquiet, the horse beneath him snorted and shook its head. He quieted Orpheus with a light pat.
It was a good day for traveling. The sun was out, its warmth unimpeded by clouds. Spock was beginning to get used to the way storm clouds could come up out of nowhere and then the sudden downpouring of rain; he even felt a certain exhilaration while experiencing their energy, but they made progress difficult. This was most certainly more acceptable.
“I’ve been wondering,” Kirk suddenly announced.
Spock raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
“What are your people like? I mean, most of the time you seem human. Maybe a little odd,” he teased, “but basically just like anyone else. Yet there are times....”
“When I do not.” Spock considered Kirk’s question. “We are a people ruled by logic and by the suppression of emotion.”
“Is that why you don’t smile? Well, you do,” Kirk amended, “but I seem to be the only one who sees them.”
Both eyebrows went up. “Indeed?”
Kirk grinned. “Yes, indeed. Go on, what else?”
“We are an ancient people, steeped in tradition. What was yesterday, is today and will be tomorrow.”
“Isn’t that sort of illogical? To follow a path just because that’s the path that’s always been followed? What if someone shows you a better path?”
“As far as I know, no one ever has.”
Kirk seemed only partially satisfied, and Spock could tell that he continued to think it over as the day progressed. But there was always something else to occupy their minds when they stopped for a meal or during the numerous stops to rest the animals, more than they had taken on their trip north, so the subject didn’t come up again. It was close to sundown when they reached their previous stop.
As had become almost a custom, once camp had been set, the animals watered and fed and their own dinner done, they settled before the fire to enjoy the night. The clouds had stayed away but a slight breeze cooled the air and the humidity of the river had been generally left behind.
“We should be home by dinnertime tomorrow. It’ll be nice to have a home cooked meal again.”
“Indeed. While nourishing, our food supplies are obviously made for convenience,” he gave the hard tack in his hand a jaundiced look, “not for taste.”
Kirk laughed and threw the twig he’d been playing with into the fire. “I guess I’m just used to it. The food on board isn’t much better. I try to have a real meal prepared about once a week, I think the crew would mutiny if I didn’t, but it’s hard. We can only carry so much with us.”
“Can you not pull into port? It would seem that there would be many cities along the river.”
“There used to be. I have to admit, it’s getting easier. More of the towns are pulling themselves together, though there are still a lot that are either abandoned or too dangerous to approach. Still, we’re making headway. And you?” he asked, “where do you go for supplies between ‘ports’?”
“In the ship I came in, there are more than enough supplies for one person. But on a large vessel stops must be made at either starbases or member planets to restock.”
“Have you been on one of the large space ships?”
“Starships,” Spock corrected. “And, yes, I served aboard one for several years.”
“Why did you leave?”
Spock looked away. How did one answer such a question?
“Hey, if it’s none of my business, just say so.”
“No.” Spock swallowed before turning to look at his friend. “It is just that it was not the most pleasant of times. Vulcans—” How could he state this? “Vulcans marry for life. When, for whatever reason, one spouse rejects the other, it is difficult for other Vulcans to deal with the situation.”
“Your wife left you?” Kirk asked, his voice laced with sympathy.
“Yes.”
“She was a fool.”
“Perhaps, yet it was still most difficult, on the ship, and later on Vulcan. Leaving, being alone, seemed the most logical choice.”
“Is that why you’re here, because you want to be alone?”
He stared at Kirk. “I have no wish to be alone.”
Spock saw it in Kirk’s eyes only a second before Kirk launched himself across the space that separated them. The force of it had Spock on his back, his arms filled with the human as Kirk grabbed Spock’s head and brought their mouths together in a jarring clash.
He opened his mouth, unsure if it was to protest or to acquiesce, but found speech impossible when Kirk used the opportunity to snake his tongue into Spock’s mouth. Without thought, Spock brought his arms up to surround Kirk; the human moaned and deepened the kiss.
Spock's hands shook as he fought to divest Kirk of his clothes. A jolt of pure, unadulterated lust shot straight to his groin when he managed to remove Kirk’s shirt and felt the smooth expanse of his back under his fingers. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, a satin coolness no Vulcan could replicate. He broke away from their kiss and settled his mouth at the juncture of Kirk’s neck and shoulder. If Kirk’s skin felt so good, Spock could only wonder at how it would taste.
He sucked on the pliant skin and heard Kirk’s breath draw in sharply. Kirk’s hands were between their bodies, frantically working at the openings to their trousers. Spock sucked even harder when he felt the cool air hit his skin. Kirk brought their organs together and wrapped his fingers around them both.
He let his head fall back and cried out at the sensation. His hips seem to move at their own volition, pistoning up against the human’s body while Kirk worked his hand up and down, pumping frantically. He felt Kirk shift up and work his free arm under Spock’s neck. He resettled his mouth against Spock’s, returning to their frantic kissing, his tongue plunging into Spock’s mouth while his hand continued its manipulation of their genitals.
Spock moaned when he felt Kirk move away. The human had come up on his knees and was now hastily removing Spock’s boots and trousers. Pushing his own jeans down around his knees, Kirk resettled between Spock’s legs.
Spock legs fall open as Kirk sidled nearer to bring their groins into even closer contact. He lay his hands on Kirk’s buttocks and kneaded the pliant flesh, pulling the cheeks apart and playing his fingers over the opening to Kirk’s body.
He heard Kirk groan. Their bodies were plastered together, their wild pistoning continuing, their groins hot against each other.
Knowing he was close, Spock brought his legs up and wrapped them around Kirk’s hips. He could feel Kirk’s penis shoving against his body, pushing against his testicles before sliding over his organ, now wet with their pre-ejaculate. He let his mind spiral down to the feeling between his legs, the weight of the human on top of him, Kirk’s hands entangled in his hair as they thrust against each other. He squeezed his eyes closed as his testicles drew up against his body and an orgasm ripped through him. His organ pulsed out its seed against Kirk’s belly and with each throb Spock’s body jerked in response.
Seconds later he heard Kirk cry out and felt an answering stream of ejaculate heat his abdomen. The human’s head came down to rest on Spock’s chest and together they let their body’s throes die down and then finally stop. After a time, the night air stole their heat.
Kirk raised his head. There was a smile of real joy on his face.
“You want to take this inside now? I don’t know about you but I’m getting cold, especially my ass.”
Spock gave said part of Kirk’s body another squeeze before responding. “I would not be adverse to retiring to the tent.”
They ended up lying together on their combined bedding. Kirk had finished removing his clothes and had stretched out on his back. Without hesitation, Spock took the place at his side, resting his head on Kirk’s shoulder. The tent still retained much of the heat of the day, so they left the flaps open to allow the breeze in and to keep an eye on the fire. Their own fires had been banked, at least for now. Spock was of the mind that it wasn’t a situation that would last very long; their desire was great and they had waited a very long time.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since the day we met,” Kirk confessed as he gently ran his fingers through Spock’s hair.
“Do what, exactly?”
“This.” he took in their entwined bodies with a nod. “Being with you, being able to touch you.”
“You have desired this since then? Why did you not tell me?”
Kirk chuckled. “Don’t think I didn’t think about it. But I wasn’t sure how you felt about me, whether it was even something you’d want.”
Spock ran his fingers down Kirk’s chest, starting from between his nipples and trailing down to where his penis lay, quiescent. “Vulcans are drawn to another’s mind, more so than to their body. But now having known yours,” he brought his head down and licked at a conveniently placed nipple, “I understand how humans can be overtaken with the physical.”
“Were you drawn to my mind?”
“Very much so.”
“Good, because I’m drawn to yours. I always wanted to have sex with you. But as time went by I realized that I wanted you to like me as much as I was coming to like you.”
He looked up into the human’s face. Staring back at him were the same emotions he felt so strongly within himself. “I believe I more than ‘like’ you.”
Kirk smiled. “Same here—hey, did you see that?”
He pulled himself away from Spock’s side and crawled over to the opening. He sat back on his haunches just within the tent and looked out. “It’s a meteor shower!”
Spock followed Kirk to the entrance and knelt behind him.
“There’s another one!” Kirk stretched out his hand and pointed up into the sky.
Using Kirk’s arm as a sight, Spock was able to identify the area just as another meteor flew across the heavens. “I believe it is the June Draconids. The meteors are the off casts of the comet you have named Pons-Winnecke. There should be ten to one hundred of them per hour.”
“This could go on all night, then.” Kirk maneuvered himself around until he was sitting with his legs crossed beneath him.
“Possibly.” Spock turned and grabbed a sleeping bag. He draped it over his shoulders and then pulled it around to surround Kirk as well as he settled behind him. “There is a slight chill to the air,” he responded to Kirk’s look of inquiry.
Spock had seen many meteor showers, on many different planets; he’d even seen the spectacle from space. But he had never taken so much pleasure from it before. As he held the human in his arms, he couldn’t imagine that he ever would again.
~~~~~
It was the feeling of something tickling his nose that woke him. When Spock opened his eyes it was to find Kirk lying next to him, propped up on his elbows and holding a feather over Spock’s face.
“What are you doing?”
“Waking you up. As much as I’ve enjoyed watching you sleep, it’s time to get up now.”
Spock glanced outside. Between the meteor shower and their once again joining in sexual congress, (very well, twice more,) it had been well past midnight by the time they had finally slept. No wonder he had not awakened earlier. As bright as it was now, it had to be well past sunrise. He looked back at Kirk, the other man’s words finally registering. “You were watching me sleep?”
“Yup. For at least twenty minutes.”
“Why?”
Kirk shrugged. “Just felt like it, I guess. You’re a very handsome man.”
“Am I?” Spock had never had anyone say anything remotely like that to him. Of course, Vulcans were not in the habit of commenting on a person’s physical attractiveness. He found he liked it.
“Immensely, but don’t let it go to your head. I’m probably more than a little biased.”
Spock lifted his hand and ran his fingers lightly over Kirk’s lips. “Perhaps, but I can say very much the same since I find you exceedingly pleasant to look upon.” He gazed at Kirk. “Especially your eyes. They are quite compelling.”
“They’re just eyes.”
“No, they are quite beautiful: in their expression, in their proportion. They even change color with your mood.”
“What color are they right now?”
Spock smiled. “A warm light brown, which is the color they become when you are happy or pleased.”
“I’m certainly that. I could stay just like this forever.”
“That is not possible,” Spock gently responded.
“I know, it’s just that right here, right now, our being together seems the rightest thing in the world.” He reached over and grabbed Spock’s hat from where it sat on top of his other clothes. “You won’t need this anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Because as your lover I insist on you never again covering up those gorgeous ears.”
Spock took the hat out of Kirk’s hands and tossed it back on the pile of clothes. “From now on, I will wear it only when necessary. Will that satisfy you?”
“You satisfy me.” He closed the space between them so that he lay partially on Spock’s chest. “Everything about you satisfies me.”
“I will endeavor to always do so.”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Mister.” His smile slipped as realizing how short a time always might be. “Just how much time do we have left, Spock?”
“My assignment was for six months. I have already been here for one.”
“Five months. That’s not very long.”
“It is all the time I have. I am expected to return at that time.”
“Whether you find the answer to your question or not?”
“Whether I am successful or not does not matter. If I do not find the answers I seek, another will.”
“Or you could come back.”
“That is not something that is within my control. It is up to the Vulcan council to determine who will be sent. I am sorry, Jim.”
“You know,” Kirk looked down as he toyed with the hair on Spock’s chest. “A lot can happen in five months.”
“Jim—”
“I know, I know, you have a mission to complete. I’m just saying that you should keep your options open. And you don’t have to make a decision right now.”
“I cannot envision anything that would allow me to stay.”
The smile that Kirk gave him no longer held the joy it had only moments before.
“I can always hope, can’t I? Besides, we still have five whole months. Plenty of time.” Kirk turned at the sound of one of the horses nickering. “I suppose we should be getting up.”
Spock drew him into his arms. “Perhaps, but not just yet.”
onto Chapter 6
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Summary: In the ruins of one world, two men of different planets meet. One looks to the future, one to the past. But as their lives intertwine, they find that their happiness is dependent on the past one seeks and the future the other fights for.
Notes: Originally published by Kathy Resch as a stand-alone novel. Artwork by Lorraine Brevig and Virginia Sky.
Many thanks to
artconserv and cluesby4 for allowing me to post their beautiful artwork here.“What is that, a geiger counter?”
Spock continued taking readings. “Among other things.”
Kirk walked over. “You’re from outer space and you’re using a geiger counter?”
“I am not ‘from outer space,’ I am from Vulcan and the instrument, known as a tricorder, has several functions.” He turned the instrument off and gave it to Kirk who had extended his hand.
Kirk turned it upside down, examining every aspect. “So, if it’s not a—wait, don’t tell me. It only looks like a geiger counter so no one will know what it really is.”
“Precisely.”
“So what does it do?”
Kirk handed it back and Spock looped it onto his saddle.
“Besides measuring radiation levels, it will scan for life forms and their corresponding biological markers—”
“It tells you what kind of animal it is.”
“I believe I said that,” Spock noted before continuing. “It allows me to differentiate food sources and,” he reached up and toggled a switch on the instrument’s side. “It provides light.”
“Handy, though we should be in Cedar Rapids long before dark.”
“That is something I wish to discuss with you. Jim, my readings verify that your mother’s assessment was correct; there was indeed an event at the nuclear facility.”
“Did it blow up?”
“Hardly. If that had been the case, it would be impossible for us to enter. The readings I am getting are for cesium-137 and strontium-90; I believe what may have happened is that, while the reactor itself was turned off, the spent fuel rods were not disposed of. Left in their ponds, the rods would continue to expel alpha and beta particles, gamma rays and heat. With no power to replenish the water, it simply boiled and evaporated away and a fire broke out, sending radiation out in all directions.”
“But we can still enter, right?”
“With qualifications. We will soon be entering what your people call the ‘exclusion zone.’ After so much time, radiation levels have fallen to such a point that spending several days in the area would not be detrimental, but I must enter the city alone.”
“Wait a minute. You just said it was safe.”
“Yes, to a point. But the city itself lies much closer to the center of the contamination. My body can withstand the higher levels of radiation which could still be there much better than yours can.”
Kirk frowned, rubbing his chin nervously. “I don’t like it. You don’t even know what those levels are. Are these books really worth your life?”
“I will be monitoring the situation continually. If the radiation climbs too high, I will retreat. The information I seek will do me little good if I am no longer alive to make use of it. Also,” he hesitated, knowing the human would not like what he was about to say. “If for any reason I do not return, you are not to attempt a rescue.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I’m going in after you.”
“No, Jim. If I do not return, it is because I am either dead or near enough so that it makes no difference. It would also very likely mean that you would be sacrificing your life for nothing, for I would still not survive but now neither would you.”
“You don’t know that,” Kirk argued.
“Yes, I do. And if you were to think it through, so would you.”
Kirk stared at him, his face hard. Finally he gave a reluctant nod. Spock was well aware how much Kirk disliked the state of affairs but could do no other but give into the logic of the situation. They mounted up and started north, the two mules trailing behind them.
They stayed within the forest, even if it meant their progress was hindered. Yet Spock could not begrudge the time, for the area was filled with abundant flora and fauna and they often stopped to allow him to take readings. Kirk had informed him that it had been a wildlife area even before the Dark Time had come; it had had a head start in its path to its natural state.
By noon, they left behind the protection of the forest, heading out into an area of open fields. Beneath the animals’ hooves, the sound of man-made surfaces rang from time to time and to their right the remains of what must have been a major road slowly crumbled.
Gradually, signs of what once had been a good-sized city began to appear. The vegetation had done its work in bringing down what buildings there must have once been, but here and there rusting beams and concrete slabs could still be seen. The closer in they got, the more the city began to take shape, a jumble of decaying buildings that rose up in the distance. Even from here, Spock could sense the death which permeated the place.
When they reached the Cedar River, Kirk called a halt.
“We’ll camp here.”
Kirk had picked an opening right next to the river, a little ways from where the first of three bridges stretched across the water. A few hundred feet in, an island dissected the river, the bridges then continuing on onto the land on the other side.
They tethered the animals to a couple of trees and got to work. Within an hour, the camp was set up and Spock was ready to begin his journey into the city. All he was taking were two large back packs, his tricorder and a canteen of water.
“I’m not sure if any of the bridges are going to be usable. The river floods from time to time and this area has probably been inundated more than once.” Kirk stood at the water’s edge, scanning the area.
Spock studied the map he had copied from the book Winona had shown him. “It appears that the building the books are supposed to have been deposited in is approximately five hundred feet from the shore in that direction.” He pointed across the river.
“It looks dangerous.” Kirk turned and gave Spock a stern look. “Listen, if it looks like it’s not going to hold your weight or appears ready to fall apart, you turn right around and come back.”
“I will do so. I will begin with this first bridge, as it appears that the island is wider at this point; less of my time will be spent crossing water.”
Kirk nodded and stepped away, a tacit acceptance of what Spock was about to do.
Spock strode down to where the bridge met the water. The first few feet were little more than a jumble of concrete and stone. With determined steps, he walked onto the decaying bridge.
It took longer than he would have calculated to get across the bridge. Though still complete, in that it reached from shore to shore, there were several areas where large chunks of concrete had given way, forming craters so large that only a foot or two of the passage survived. Many of the remaining stones were slick with slime and mold, making the footing treacherous. At one point he’d almost ended up in the water when the surface crumbled beneath him. It was only his managing to throw himself to one side and onto a secure area that had saved him.
He had thought traversing the island would be easier but even there vegetation and pools of water helped to block the way. He eventually managed to reach its other side and started across the next bridge.
It was late in the afternoon by the time Spock stepped onto solid ground. The sun overhead gave off a steady heat which, added to the water pooled everywhere and the river behind him, thickened the air.
He looked back over the path that had brought him here. While on the other side of the river and out of sight, nevertheless Kirk was still very much a presence. The man was more to him than was prudent. He’d understood that the moment he realized that Kirk had returned, returned out of concern for Spock’s safety, for his life.
Spock could not say that he had never had a close associate. He could not say that he had never had a friend. What he could say was that he’d never had a t’hy’la. Yet here, on this remote and backward planet, he felt that now he did, or could have if he were to just have the courage to reach out and embrace what was building between them.
He pulled his mind away from what was fast becoming its main focus. The answers he’d come light years for could be mere steps away. In front of him, the decaying city beckoned.
He could barely make out what once had been an open avenue. Here, too, trees and underbrush grew in abandon, choking off access. He regretted not bringing some sort of implement that would have allowed him to hack his way through.
He took a reading. The area was teeming with wildlife and somewhere off to his left, perhaps three hundred feet, a particularly large quadruped prowled. He would have to be especially careful.
What amazed him most as he moved further into the city was how completely it was being consumed. Vulcan’s sun could bear down and sear the life out of the unaware but its power was nothing like this. Here, the planet itself seemed to be devouring the city, as if in retaliation for the wrongs done to it.
He continued on and for the first time the planet’s distress weighed heavily upon him. It was a quiet and dead place, for all the life forms which inhabited it. Here was the manifestation of whatever had gone wrong. He gave his head a shake, annoyed with himself. He was being unaccountably fanciful.
He almost missed the building. He’d memorized the distinctive shape of it from the picture in the book but had not noticed it at first, smothered as it was with plant life. Only a backward glance as he moved by brought it to his attention. He backtracked and approached the opening.
The inside was dark and overlaid with the heavy odor of mold. He turned on the light on his tricorder. All around mounds of what must have once been books lay about. Metal shelves lay toppled on their sides, almost eaten away with rust. He passed them by; surely the planners would have known that more than four walls would be needed to protect their cache.
He came to a stairwell. The stairs leading down ended after only six feet. Past that, water filled the entire area, creating a deep pool; whatever had been stored beneath would have been obliterated. Up then. He took each step gingerly, testing to make sure it would hold his weight. At each landing he would open the door onto the rest of the floor. Each time, he was met with devastation. Finally, he reached the fifth and last story of the building.
A large metal door greeted him. He turned the wheel at its center and slowly the door opened wide with a loud hiss, as if a seal had been broken. He waited until he was sure enough time had passed for oxygen to fill the room and then he stepped inside.
The room was like a large tomb, the entire area filled with bookcases, each shelf heavy with books. He approached the nearest bookcase and pulled a book down. It was sealed in some sort of polymer, as were all the volumes he examined as he made his way down one aisle and over to the far side of the room. Taking in its length and breadth, he calculated that the room held somewhere in the vicinity of fifty thousand books. He reached up to the top shelf of the first bookcase and grasped the first book.
Kirk sat before the fire, nervously casting glances across the river as a cup of coffee slowly cooled in his hands. Spock had been gone far too long.
He hadn’t worried at first. He knew getting across the bridge and then through the mess on the other side, even if it was only a short distance, would take time. And once Spock found the library he would still need to go through all the books to decide which ones he wanted to bring out. As night had fallen Kirk had settled in—building a fire, brewing some coffee and preparing a meal for Spock’s return.
But that had been hours ago. Kirk leaned toward the fire, checking his watch in the barely adequate light. Midnight. Spock had been gone over nine hours.
Damn the man! Kirk tossed what was left of his coffee onto the ground and stood up. He walked over to the water’s edge. What the hell did he do now? He couldn’t go after Spock; he wouldn’t be able to see his hand in front of his face. Besides, it would mean leaving the animals unattended and he couldn’t do that. There might not be any people around, but Kirk knew for sure that there were plenty of predators out there that would love a meal all staked out for them.
He could wait for morning and if Spock hadn’t returned by then Kirk could go looking for him, to hell with what the Vulcan wanted. There was still a risk in leaving the animals behind, but a somewhat smaller one in the light of day and one he was willing to take.
He glanced back at the camp site and scowled. He had to do something! He took a deep breath and made up his mind. Hurrying back to the fire he threw in more wood, building it up until it would be visible even across the river. He sure hoped he didn’t end up burning down the forest. That done, he went over to where the animals were tied and grabbed a long section of rope and a short-handled shovel. Maybe he couldn’t go into the city but he could at least search the bridge. Maybe even call out from the other side. If he hadn’t found Spock by then, he’d return and wait for morning before trying again.
Back at the water, Kirk carefully stepped out on the very stones Spock had used and made his way onto the bridge. For the first fifty feet or so, the campfire gave off enough light so that he could see where he was going. But the further in he got, the more he was just stumbling around in the dark. He slipped and came down hard on his hands and knees.
“Damn it!” He hung his head and pressed his lips together, fighting the pain. Finally it lessened and he got clumsily to his feet. He looked around. The only way he could tell from which direction he had come was by the fire’s soft glow in what seemed a very far ways away. Ahead of him, it was pitch black—except for a tiny light wavering in the distance.
“Spock! Spock, is that you?”
“Do not come any further. There is a large opening in the bridge not twenty feet in front of you,” Spock shouted across the distance that separated them.
Slowly, the light from Spock’s instrument grew closer and closer until Kirk could finally make out the Vulcan’s form. In each hand he carried one of the bags he had taken with him. Each was filled almost to bursting; if they didn’t weigh at least a hundred pounds each, Kirk would be amazed.
He saw Spock sidle alongside the opening, the two bags threatening to overbalance him. Kirk cautiously moved forward and met his friend just as he made it past the danger. He gazed at the load his friend carried.
“You need any help with those?”
“That will not be necessary, though I would appreciate it if you would carry my tricorder. The light is jostled as I walk and makes progress difficult.”
Kirk lifted the instrument from where it lay on Spock’s chest and pulled the strap over his head, eyeing the bags at the same time.
“Just how many books did you bring back with you?”
“Two hundred and fifty two. I would have brought more, but there was no way in which to carry them.”
“I’m surprised you can pick them up. They’ve got to weigh a couple of hundred pounds each.”
“Two hundred thirty seven point three, to be exact.”
Kirk didn’t bother to ask how Spock knew that. “And you carried them all this way by yourself.”
“My strength is amplified by your planet’s lesser gravity. And as long as we are inquiring of each other, may I ask what you are doing out here?”
“I was worried.” Kirk turned and began leading them back to land. “So sue me.”
“Jim, you were not supposed to come after me. If I had arrived any later, you could very well have ended up in the river.”
“Hey, I was being careful. I’m sure I would have noticed the hole.”
They took their time; Kirk found that the light made all the difference in the world. In less than half the time it had taken him to get as far as he had, they were back at camp. Without breaking his stride, Spock walked over and placed the two bags next to the tent before finding a place near the fire where Kirk had taken a seat.
“Here, you can probably turn this thing off,” Kirk remarked as he handed the tricorder back to Spock.
Spock did so and then gifted Kirk with a stern look. “You should not have done what you did.”
“I told you I was being—”
“I does not matter if you were being careful or not. You must never place my safety over your own.”
“Let it go, okay, Spock? We’re both back and we’re both in one piece. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?”
Spock appeared willing to continue the argument but after a moment reluctantly nodded his head. “Very well.” His brow knitted. “I find it very disconcerting how I seem to constantly allow you to control the situation.”
“It’s a gift,” Kirk said with a smile. “Anyway, here,” he handed over a plate filled with a variety of dried fruit, something that may have been a potato and a couple of slices of bread. “You look like you could use it. I tried keeping the potato warm but it might have gotten a bit overdone.”
Kirk watched Spock as he ate. He was relaxed and ridiculously content, the sound of the river flowing by a sweet background music, the stars above a perfect canopy. Even after Spock had finished his meal, Kirk was happy for them to sit and enjoy the night. But eventually, his eyes began to droop. It had been a long and stress-filled day. He stood up and stretched.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed. I rinsed out our other clothes; they’re hanging over by the tent and should be dry by morning. I managed to get most of the blood out of your shirt and patch the hole but it’s never going to be the same. Still, it’s better than wearing what you’ve got on now.” He wasn’t the only one whose clothes were a little worse for wear.
“Indeed.” Spock rose and looked toward the river. “I wish to cleanse myself before retiring. I will return shortly.”
Kirk nodded and made a beeline for the tent, dusting himself off as well as he could before entering. He pulled off his boots and stretched out on his bedding. He let the last of his tension melt away and his eyes slowly closed. He was asleep before he knew it.
“I thought we’d camp where we did on our way up, in the forest this side of North Liberty.”
They had broken camp early. Though radiation levels were low, Spock still felt that the least amount of time that Kirk was exposed to it, the better. The books had been loaded on one of the mules, while the other took on everything else.
“That would be acceptable,” Spock responded. Though he was very much looking forward to starting on the books, it gratified him that he and Kirk still had one more night together. Out here, with just each other for company, he was the recipient of all of Kirk’s focus. It was an addictive situation and one whose loss Spock would keenly feel. As if sensing his disquiet, the horse beneath him snorted and shook its head. He quieted Orpheus with a light pat.
It was a good day for traveling. The sun was out, its warmth unimpeded by clouds. Spock was beginning to get used to the way storm clouds could come up out of nowhere and then the sudden downpouring of rain; he even felt a certain exhilaration while experiencing their energy, but they made progress difficult. This was most certainly more acceptable.
“I’ve been wondering,” Kirk suddenly announced.
Spock raised an eyebrow in inquiry.
“What are your people like? I mean, most of the time you seem human. Maybe a little odd,” he teased, “but basically just like anyone else. Yet there are times....”
“When I do not.” Spock considered Kirk’s question. “We are a people ruled by logic and by the suppression of emotion.”
“Is that why you don’t smile? Well, you do,” Kirk amended, “but I seem to be the only one who sees them.”
Both eyebrows went up. “Indeed?”
Kirk grinned. “Yes, indeed. Go on, what else?”
“We are an ancient people, steeped in tradition. What was yesterday, is today and will be tomorrow.”
“Isn’t that sort of illogical? To follow a path just because that’s the path that’s always been followed? What if someone shows you a better path?”
“As far as I know, no one ever has.”
Kirk seemed only partially satisfied, and Spock could tell that he continued to think it over as the day progressed. But there was always something else to occupy their minds when they stopped for a meal or during the numerous stops to rest the animals, more than they had taken on their trip north, so the subject didn’t come up again. It was close to sundown when they reached their previous stop.
As had become almost a custom, once camp had been set, the animals watered and fed and their own dinner done, they settled before the fire to enjoy the night. The clouds had stayed away but a slight breeze cooled the air and the humidity of the river had been generally left behind.
“We should be home by dinnertime tomorrow. It’ll be nice to have a home cooked meal again.”
“Indeed. While nourishing, our food supplies are obviously made for convenience,” he gave the hard tack in his hand a jaundiced look, “not for taste.”
Kirk laughed and threw the twig he’d been playing with into the fire. “I guess I’m just used to it. The food on board isn’t much better. I try to have a real meal prepared about once a week, I think the crew would mutiny if I didn’t, but it’s hard. We can only carry so much with us.”
“Can you not pull into port? It would seem that there would be many cities along the river.”
“There used to be. I have to admit, it’s getting easier. More of the towns are pulling themselves together, though there are still a lot that are either abandoned or too dangerous to approach. Still, we’re making headway. And you?” he asked, “where do you go for supplies between ‘ports’?”
“In the ship I came in, there are more than enough supplies for one person. But on a large vessel stops must be made at either starbases or member planets to restock.”
“Have you been on one of the large space ships?”
“Starships,” Spock corrected. “And, yes, I served aboard one for several years.”
“Why did you leave?”
Spock looked away. How did one answer such a question?
“Hey, if it’s none of my business, just say so.”
“No.” Spock swallowed before turning to look at his friend. “It is just that it was not the most pleasant of times. Vulcans—” How could he state this? “Vulcans marry for life. When, for whatever reason, one spouse rejects the other, it is difficult for other Vulcans to deal with the situation.”
“Your wife left you?” Kirk asked, his voice laced with sympathy.
“Yes.”
“She was a fool.”
“Perhaps, yet it was still most difficult, on the ship, and later on Vulcan. Leaving, being alone, seemed the most logical choice.”
“Is that why you’re here, because you want to be alone?”
He stared at Kirk. “I have no wish to be alone.”
Spock saw it in Kirk’s eyes only a second before Kirk launched himself across the space that separated them. The force of it had Spock on his back, his arms filled with the human as Kirk grabbed Spock’s head and brought their mouths together in a jarring clash.
He opened his mouth, unsure if it was to protest or to acquiesce, but found speech impossible when Kirk used the opportunity to snake his tongue into Spock’s mouth. Without thought, Spock brought his arms up to surround Kirk; the human moaned and deepened the kiss.
Spock's hands shook as he fought to divest Kirk of his clothes. A jolt of pure, unadulterated lust shot straight to his groin when he managed to remove Kirk’s shirt and felt the smooth expanse of his back under his fingers. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, a satin coolness no Vulcan could replicate. He broke away from their kiss and settled his mouth at the juncture of Kirk’s neck and shoulder. If Kirk’s skin felt so good, Spock could only wonder at how it would taste.
He sucked on the pliant skin and heard Kirk’s breath draw in sharply. Kirk’s hands were between their bodies, frantically working at the openings to their trousers. Spock sucked even harder when he felt the cool air hit his skin. Kirk brought their organs together and wrapped his fingers around them both.
He let his head fall back and cried out at the sensation. His hips seem to move at their own volition, pistoning up against the human’s body while Kirk worked his hand up and down, pumping frantically. He felt Kirk shift up and work his free arm under Spock’s neck. He resettled his mouth against Spock’s, returning to their frantic kissing, his tongue plunging into Spock’s mouth while his hand continued its manipulation of their genitals.
Spock moaned when he felt Kirk move away. The human had come up on his knees and was now hastily removing Spock’s boots and trousers. Pushing his own jeans down around his knees, Kirk resettled between Spock’s legs.
Spock legs fall open as Kirk sidled nearer to bring their groins into even closer contact. He lay his hands on Kirk’s buttocks and kneaded the pliant flesh, pulling the cheeks apart and playing his fingers over the opening to Kirk’s body.
He heard Kirk groan. Their bodies were plastered together, their wild pistoning continuing, their groins hot against each other.
Knowing he was close, Spock brought his legs up and wrapped them around Kirk’s hips. He could feel Kirk’s penis shoving against his body, pushing against his testicles before sliding over his organ, now wet with their pre-ejaculate. He let his mind spiral down to the feeling between his legs, the weight of the human on top of him, Kirk’s hands entangled in his hair as they thrust against each other. He squeezed his eyes closed as his testicles drew up against his body and an orgasm ripped through him. His organ pulsed out its seed against Kirk’s belly and with each throb Spock’s body jerked in response.
Seconds later he heard Kirk cry out and felt an answering stream of ejaculate heat his abdomen. The human’s head came down to rest on Spock’s chest and together they let their body’s throes die down and then finally stop. After a time, the night air stole their heat.
Kirk raised his head. There was a smile of real joy on his face.
“You want to take this inside now? I don’t know about you but I’m getting cold, especially my ass.”
Spock gave said part of Kirk’s body another squeeze before responding. “I would not be adverse to retiring to the tent.”
They ended up lying together on their combined bedding. Kirk had finished removing his clothes and had stretched out on his back. Without hesitation, Spock took the place at his side, resting his head on Kirk’s shoulder. The tent still retained much of the heat of the day, so they left the flaps open to allow the breeze in and to keep an eye on the fire. Their own fires had been banked, at least for now. Spock was of the mind that it wasn’t a situation that would last very long; their desire was great and they had waited a very long time.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since the day we met,” Kirk confessed as he gently ran his fingers through Spock’s hair.
“Do what, exactly?”
“This.” he took in their entwined bodies with a nod. “Being with you, being able to touch you.”
“You have desired this since then? Why did you not tell me?”
Kirk chuckled. “Don’t think I didn’t think about it. But I wasn’t sure how you felt about me, whether it was even something you’d want.”
Spock ran his fingers down Kirk’s chest, starting from between his nipples and trailing down to where his penis lay, quiescent. “Vulcans are drawn to another’s mind, more so than to their body. But now having known yours,” he brought his head down and licked at a conveniently placed nipple, “I understand how humans can be overtaken with the physical.”
“Were you drawn to my mind?”
“Very much so.”
“Good, because I’m drawn to yours. I always wanted to have sex with you. But as time went by I realized that I wanted you to like me as much as I was coming to like you.”
He looked up into the human’s face. Staring back at him were the same emotions he felt so strongly within himself. “I believe I more than ‘like’ you.”
Kirk smiled. “Same here—hey, did you see that?”
He pulled himself away from Spock’s side and crawled over to the opening. He sat back on his haunches just within the tent and looked out. “It’s a meteor shower!”
Spock followed Kirk to the entrance and knelt behind him.
“There’s another one!” Kirk stretched out his hand and pointed up into the sky.
Using Kirk’s arm as a sight, Spock was able to identify the area just as another meteor flew across the heavens. “I believe it is the June Draconids. The meteors are the off casts of the comet you have named Pons-Winnecke. There should be ten to one hundred of them per hour.”
“This could go on all night, then.” Kirk maneuvered himself around until he was sitting with his legs crossed beneath him.
“Possibly.” Spock turned and grabbed a sleeping bag. He draped it over his shoulders and then pulled it around to surround Kirk as well as he settled behind him. “There is a slight chill to the air,” he responded to Kirk’s look of inquiry.
Spock had seen many meteor showers, on many different planets; he’d even seen the spectacle from space. But he had never taken so much pleasure from it before. As he held the human in his arms, he couldn’t imagine that he ever would again.
It was the feeling of something tickling his nose that woke him. When Spock opened his eyes it was to find Kirk lying next to him, propped up on his elbows and holding a feather over Spock’s face.
“What are you doing?”
“Waking you up. As much as I’ve enjoyed watching you sleep, it’s time to get up now.”
Spock glanced outside. Between the meteor shower and their once again joining in sexual congress, (very well, twice more,) it had been well past midnight by the time they had finally slept. No wonder he had not awakened earlier. As bright as it was now, it had to be well past sunrise. He looked back at Kirk, the other man’s words finally registering. “You were watching me sleep?”
“Yup. For at least twenty minutes.”
“Why?”
Kirk shrugged. “Just felt like it, I guess. You’re a very handsome man.”
“Am I?” Spock had never had anyone say anything remotely like that to him. Of course, Vulcans were not in the habit of commenting on a person’s physical attractiveness. He found he liked it.
“Immensely, but don’t let it go to your head. I’m probably more than a little biased.”
Spock lifted his hand and ran his fingers lightly over Kirk’s lips. “Perhaps, but I can say very much the same since I find you exceedingly pleasant to look upon.” He gazed at Kirk. “Especially your eyes. They are quite compelling.”
“They’re just eyes.”
“No, they are quite beautiful: in their expression, in their proportion. They even change color with your mood.”
“What color are they right now?”
Spock smiled. “A warm light brown, which is the color they become when you are happy or pleased.”
“I’m certainly that. I could stay just like this forever.”
“That is not possible,” Spock gently responded.
“I know, it’s just that right here, right now, our being together seems the rightest thing in the world.” He reached over and grabbed Spock’s hat from where it sat on top of his other clothes. “You won’t need this anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Because as your lover I insist on you never again covering up those gorgeous ears.”
Spock took the hat out of Kirk’s hands and tossed it back on the pile of clothes. “From now on, I will wear it only when necessary. Will that satisfy you?”
“You satisfy me.” He closed the space between them so that he lay partially on Spock’s chest. “Everything about you satisfies me.”
“I will endeavor to always do so.”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Mister.” His smile slipped as realizing how short a time always might be. “Just how much time do we have left, Spock?”
“My assignment was for six months. I have already been here for one.”
“Five months. That’s not very long.”
“It is all the time I have. I am expected to return at that time.”
“Whether you find the answer to your question or not?”
“Whether I am successful or not does not matter. If I do not find the answers I seek, another will.”
“Or you could come back.”
“That is not something that is within my control. It is up to the Vulcan council to determine who will be sent. I am sorry, Jim.”
“You know,” Kirk looked down as he toyed with the hair on Spock’s chest. “A lot can happen in five months.”
“Jim—”
“I know, I know, you have a mission to complete. I’m just saying that you should keep your options open. And you don’t have to make a decision right now.”
“I cannot envision anything that would allow me to stay.”
The smile that Kirk gave him no longer held the joy it had only moments before.
“I can always hope, can’t I? Besides, we still have five whole months. Plenty of time.” Kirk turned at the sound of one of the horses nickering. “I suppose we should be getting up.”
Spock drew him into his arms. “Perhaps, but not just yet.”
onto Chapter 6
