An Issue of Trust (K/S)
Aug. 13th, 2017 01:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gilda_eliseTitle: An Issue of Trust
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Word Count: 5,884
Summary: Something is off about the reports from the crew members who made that fateful trip in the Galileo under Spock's command... and Kirk is set on getting around the smokescreen he's coming up against.
Originally published in Devotion, a K/S fanzine celebrating the enduring relationship on the 50th anniversary of Star Trek, by CatalenaMara and Dovya Blacque in July, 2016.
Also posted on AO3 and
at the Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Automated Archive.
Kirk stared at the computer screen. At first glance, the report had appeared fine. But something kept nagging at him. Spock tended to be concise, yet still managing to dot each i, and cross each t. Not this time. While the report was thorough, it was almost as if he’d left out some details, which wasn’t like Spock at all. So now he was on his third read, and it wasn’t getting any better.
He pulled up McCoy’s report, and then Scotty’s. Scanning through them, he realized that theirs read the same way. He probably hadn’t picked up on it the first time around because he was more in tune with the way Spock wrote his reports, having read so many more of them.
More in tune with Spock.
Kirk pushed back on that thought and on the threatening headache. He hated mysteries, especially mysteries surrounding his First Officer. He pulled Spock’s report up again, resigning himself to reading it once more, when he was interrupted by someone at his door.
“Come,” he responded, though he was still focused on the report. When he finally looked up, it was to find Yeoman Mears standing before him. “Take a seat, Yeoman.” Kirk closed down the report to give the woman his undivided attention. “What can I do for you?”
Mears looked decidedly uncomfortable. Her eyes downcast, she fixated on her folded hands settled nervously on her lap. “It’s about the mission, sir,” she finally said in a quiet voice.
So his suspicions were correct. There had been more to the mission than what was in the reports. Kirk studied her bowed head. Unhappiness fairly radiated off of her. This was the total opposite from the laughing woman she had been on the bridge. “Yeoman?” Kirk waited until she looked up. “What about the mission?”
“We all almost died, but he saved us, after the way we treated him. I can’t stop thinking about that.”
“Are you talking about Mr. Spock?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What do you mean, how you treated him? How did you treat him?”
Mears gave him a troubled look. “We said some terrible things to him while we were stuck on the planet, terrible things about him. I know some of it was because we were afraid, but that’s just an excuse, isn’t it? It wasn’t his fault that we crashed, or that those awful things were on the planet. But we all acted as if it was. We should have trusted him.”
“All of you acted that way?” Kirk asked, troubled by the implications. He knew that McCoy had something of an issue with Spock, and sometimes went further with him than Kirk thought appropriate, but he never thought his chief engineer would follow suit, not to mention the other crewmen on board.
She thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “Mr. Scott didn’t join in, and poor Mr. Latimer and Mr. Gaetano were already dead by then, but the rest of us…we all should be put on report, at the very least.”
“What did you say to him?”
“We were trying to lift off, but the shuttle was being held down by those creatures. Mr. Spock was trying to come up with a solution, but we were all so scared. It was as if he wasn’t coming up with an answer fast enough for us. I…I told him we could use some inspiration.”
Was that all? Perhaps things weren’t as bad as the yeoman remembered them. “That’s not such a terrible thing to say.”
“But I didn’t have to say anything at all. He was doing the best he could, and all the rest of us could only think of ourselves. No matter what anyone else said, I shouldn’t have joined in.”
He thought that perhaps Mears was overreacting, but Kirk couldn’t let something like this go by. If there was any chance that members of the shuttle crew had been disrespectful to his First Officer, he wanted to know about it.
“I very much doubt that Mr. Spock was insulted by your words. You were, after all, in need of inspiration, and Mr. Spock managed to come up with some. But I’m glad you brought the matter to my attention.”
“Should I consider myself on report, sir?”
Mears looked almost hopeful. Kirk had to stifle a smile. Oh, to be that young and earnest again.
“No, Yeoman. I don’t think that will be necessary.” He stood, and came around the desk to stand next to her as she rose. “Your coming to me was the honorable thing to do. I wouldn’t want to do anything to discourage that kind of behavior.”
She gave a hesitant nod of her head. “Thank you, sir. I have to admit, I feel much better now.”
Kirk smiled. “As well you should.”
He escorted her to the door, contemplating her words as he watched her walk down the corridor. Finally, he returned to his desk, and pulled up the report that he now had even more questions about. He knew asking Spock about it would be worse than useless. No one could beat around the bush better than Spock. So that left McCoy and Scotty. Given what Mears had told him, he’d probably get more out of Scotty than the good doctor.
With a quick flick of his hand, he opened up the intercom to engineering. “Kirk to Mr. Scott.”
It only took seconds for his chief engineer to respond. “Mr. Scott here, Captain. What can I do for you?”
“It’s about the Galileo.”
Silence, a dead give away if there ever was one. “Scotty, are you still there?”
“Aye, Captain. Was there anything in particular you wanted to know?”
“I’ve got just a few questions. I’ll be there in five minutes. Kirk out.”
Kirk stood, and then glanced back down at his computer. The report filled the screen, its truth hidden behind Spock’s bland words. Very well. It might not give up its secrets, but he was damn sure going to get them from someone.
~~~~~
Kirk entered engineering. He asked after his chief engineer and was directed to the shuttle bay. Scotty was overseeing the inspection of the Columbus. As it was the only shuttle the Enterprise now had, they had better be able to rely on it. Kirk walked over and caught Scotty’s eye. “A word, Mr. Scott.”
Scotty frowned, then sent his people off to their assigned tasks. He led Kirk to the back of the shuttle, out of the others’ hearing. “You were wondering about the Galileo, sir?”
“I just had an interesting conversation with Yeoman Mears. I got the impression that several members of the shuttle crew had issues with Mr. Spock.”
He hesitated, as if not sure what was being asked of him. “Aye, there were words. You know how Mr. Spock can get under someone’s skin.”
“Did he get under yours?” Kirk asked.
Scotty shook his head. “I’ve worked with the man enough to know that his first concern is always for the ship, whether it be the Enterprise or the sadly lost Galileo. I’d put my trust in him any day. But he doesn’t always know how to convey what it is he’s trying to do. If you know what I mean, sir.”
Sadly, Kirk did. While he’d quickly learned that Spock’s cold, “logical” exterior hid a warm heart, not many others could see it. Or didn’t want to.
“What did they say, Scotty?”
“I’d prefer not to say, sir. What’s done is done. All that matters is that he saved us in the end.”
“It matters to me. You can either tell me what happened, or I can put you on report. It’s up to you. Then this all becomes official, and neither of us want that.”
Scotty grimaced. “Aye, that’s the truth of it.” He brightened. “You might be able to pull up the automatic recording file.”
“The what?” The words rang a bell, but Kirk couldn’t quite remember what they referred to.
“Every shuttle has an automatic recording device installed in them. In case something happened to the crew, there would be a record of what they said before they left the shuttle. Or if the shuttle crashed, the recording would help determine why.”
“But the Galileo was destroyed.”
“That’s the beauty of it, Captain. The recording would have automatically been transmitted to the ship.”
“We couldn’t pick up your transmissions, Scotty. Nothing could get through the quasar’s interference.”
“No, sir, not while we were still on the ground. But by the time we were in orbit, the
ion storm had dispersed enough for some signals to get through. I can’t guarantee that the report did, or even the level of its quality, but there’s always a chance.”
“So I just have to call it up on the computer?”
“If it’s there, that’s all you’ll have to do.”
Kirk looked fixedly at his Engineer. “I’m going to go to my cabin. And if the report is there, then you’re off the hook. But, Scotty, if it’s not…”
“Aye, sir, I’ll be expecting another visit.”
Kirk sent Scott back to his men, and the work that absolutely needed to be done. But that wouldn’t stop him from hauling Scotty away again if the file wasn’t there, because, one way or the other, he was going to get some answers.
~~~~~
Kirk clenched the control handle as the turbolift made its way to deck five. He’d thought the worst was behind them when they’d transported the Galileo’s crew back to the ship, even if it wasn’t the entire crew. Yet, here he was, trying to untangle a potential debacle. It could bring down moral, or cause a schism within the crew. And it could cause Spock a great deal of grief, especially if Kirk had to take this to another level.
The images that came to mind were painful. Spock being cross-examined, his ability as a commander called into question. Even worse, his very integrity cast in doubt. Just because some people couldn’t see the man within.
When was it when he had? He remembered their first hesitant steps toward each other. Toward each other, not just on his part. It was as if Spock had felt the same, hell, say it, attraction that Kirk had. Was that why he had been so open to seeing Spock’s better nature, because he had been attracted to the man?
No, he’d been in that position before. His head always trumped his heart…or regions further south, he whimsically thought. Spock’s nature had been all Kirk had imaged it would be. Not to mention the unwavering loyalty Spock had seemed to give him from the beginning.
As the lift reached deck five and began to slow, he came to a decision. “Bridge.” The lift gathered speed again, taking him on to his new destination.
Every crew member had their own way of dealing with a mission gone wrong, or with the loss of life. Spock’s was to shove his emotions even deeper, and lose himself in his work. While there were several places on the ship where he could do that work, Spock seemed to prefer the bridge. Whoever would have been manning the science station would have seen Spock pull rank and take over.
The turbolift slowed again. The doors parted and Kirk walked onto the bridge, casually making his way over to the science station. Just as he had suspected, there Spock sat, bent over his viewer and totally oblivious to anything going on around him. Not that there was much going on. After the frantic efforts of the last two days, it was probably a relief to just lay in a course and let the ship do the rest. They were on their way to Makus Three with plenty of time to spare.
Taking the step up onto the platform, Kirk balanced himself against the console and waited for Spock to realize that he was there.
It didn’t take long. Spock was a telepath, but he had to be touching the person. What the two of them had, had had from almost the beginning, was a visceral connection that had nothing to do with touch, or sight, or sound. Spock just knew he was there, just as he would have known that Spock was there.
“Can I do something for you, Captain?” Spock asked.
“No, just wanted to make sure that things were running smoothly.”
Spock’s one eyebrow lifted slightly. “You would, of course, be the first person notified if it were not.”
Kirk picked up Spock’s stylus and started weaving it back and forth through the fingers of one hand. “I don’t know, you’d be amazed at some of the things I’m not privy to. Like, where is Lieutenant Carter? Isn’t she supposed to be manning this station?”
“Lieutenant Carter is in the science lab. I thought her time could be better spent finishing off her work on the scans taken of Murasaki 312. While those from the Galileo were obviously lost, the Enterprise managed to get some interesting readings.”
“I see, I see. But couldn’t that work have just as easily been done from here?” Kirk innocently asked.
Spock swallowed before hesitantly responding. “Perhaps it could, Captain, but the bridge is not always conducive to work of such complexity.”
“Then what is it you’re doing?”
Before Spock could answer, Kirk put down the stylus and rested his hand on Spock’s shoulder. He felt a rush of affection, and a thrill of pride that the Vulcan trusted him enough to allow the touch. “That’s okay, Spock. You do whatever it is you need to do. I’ll see you at dinner?”
“Of course, Captain. Nineteen hundred hours in the main mess hall.”
Kirk let his hand stay where it was for several seconds before finally pulling it away. He stood. “Then I’ll let you get back to your work.”
He took his time leaving. He spoke to the helmsman for a few minutes, before making a circuit of the bridge. Stopping off at Communications, he dictated a message to the ship that would be meeting them at Makus Three and taking on their cargo of medical supplies for New Paris. He’d met its captain a few months earlier, and the man had struck him as somewhat excitable. He’d appreciate the heads up.
Finally, he entered the turbolift. He looked over to see Spock warily watching him. Spock knew that Kirk didn’t make a habit of checking up on him, which was exactly what he had just done. Kirk smiled as the doors closed. Let Spock stew. It would do him good. For himself, the fact that he could still check up on Spock, couldn’t help but lift his spirits.
~~~~~
His good mood lasted until he had returned to his cabin and pulled up the recording file. Scotty was right; the quality of the video was terrible. Kirk could tell that it had been taken from somewhere around the front console, but that was about it. For the rest, he had had to rely on individual mannerisms and body language. The audio, however, had been crystal clear.
Kirk switched off the recording. He leaned back into his chair, his hands folded behind his head, and closed his eyes. He replayed the events in his mind, using his imagination to fill in the badly distorted images. He’d known from Spock’s report that things had gone wrong awfully fast on Taurus II. That it would create the animosity toward Spock from McCoy and Boma greatly disturbed him. Lives had been at stake, and their reaction to their commanding officer was completely out of line.
Sure, Spock had been a bit obtuse when it came to the other crew persons’ reaction, but that didn’t excuse McCoy’s and Boma’s responses. Especially, Boma’s. Kirk was definitely going to have to do something about the lieutenant. There was no way the astrophysicist could continue to work in the science labs under Spock’s supervision.
And McCoy. He’d known that McCoy’s relationship with Spock could tend toward the adversarial, but he’d never seen it go this far. It made Kirk wonder how they responded to each other when he wasn’t around.
Well, there was only one thing to be done about it. Kirk opened his eyes and got to his feet. Since he was the lesser of the two offenders, he’d tackle McCoy first. He didn’t bother calling ahead. He knew exactly where the doctor would be. Besides, he didn’t want to give the man any forewarning.
It was a matter of a few minutes walk from Kirk’s cabin to sickbay, but it gave Kirk enough time to figure out how he was going to play this with McCoy. The doctor had overreacted, which was nothing new, but he hadn’t been outright hostile toward Spock the way Boma had been.
Kirk entered sickbay’s anteroom. He followed the murmur of voices coming from the back room, and found McCoy in the middle of some sort of powwow with his staff. He motioned to McCoy that he’d be in his office, and waited for the doctor to respond before heading in that direction.
Taking a seat, he passed the time by playing with some of the knickknacks that cluttered McCoy’s desk. The doctor was an inveterate collector and his office was the repository for the odd bones, rocks and whatnot that he’d found on their travels.
“Put that back,” McCoy ordered as he entered the room.
Kirk smiled and dutifully returned the item to its designated spot.
McCoy took his seat and leaned forward onto his desk, while giving Kirk a jaundiced look. “I already got the word from Scotty. You’re here to scold me about being mean to your pet Vulcan.”
So much for the element of surprise. “He told you?”
“Of course he told me. The man can’t keep a secret to save his life, especially during a meal. You can’t imagine all the gossip I’ve been privy to over lunches.”
Great, something else he’d have to deal with…later. “So you know why I’m here. Does that mean that you have an excuse for your behavior?”
“My behavior?” McCoy bellowed. “Did you hear the asinine things that man said to us? There we were, under threat of death, and all he can talk about is leaving one of us behind! And don’t get me started on his lousy call about the creatures on the planet.”
“We all make mistakes, McCoy, but I’m not here to explain or excuse his behavior. He was in charge, and it wasn’t your place to call his orders into question. You’re supposed to follow them, and keep your mouth shut.”
“Even if he’s wrong?”
“Who said he was wrong?” Kirk shot back. “He got you off the planet, didn’t he? Got you back to the ship? He did his job, McCoy, which is more than I can say for you. It’s not just the physical wellbeing of the crew that you’re responsible for. By undermining Spock’s orders, your actions had a detrimental effect on morale.”
“Don’t give me that,” McCoy responded with a dismissive wave. “Morale was down because we were all afraid that we were going to die.”
“If that were the case, this would have all blown over once you were back aboard the Enterprise. But Lieutenant Mears wasn’t upset with Spock. She was upset with herself. She, at least, realizes that she owes him her life.” Kirk gave McCoy a weary look. “Do you really dislike him that much, Bones?”
“I don’t know, Jim. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it dislike, but it’s not as if he makes it easy for people to like him. Other than you, and maybe Scotty, he doesn’t exactly have any friends. Why you’re so close to him is a mystery to me.”
“That’s because you haven’t been paying attention. You’ve been so busy trying to make him act human, you’ve forgotten that he’s also Vulcan.”
McCoy snorted. “That would be hard to do, since he’s constantly reminding us of it.”
“So start putting your trust in him. Listen to what he has to say, and try seeing things from his perspective. Or, at least, try not to expect him to react to things the same way that you would. I think you’ll find that he can be a good friend. If you let him.”
McCoy blew out a sigh, and nodded. “Okay, Jim, I’ll try to be nicer to Spock. But you need to have a discussion with him, too. He’s going to have to learn to interact better with us humans, because right now he’s lousy at it.”
Kirk stood up. “A commander doesn’t need to have his people like him. But they do have to respect him. Try to keep that in mind.”
He left sickbay, not sure how much good his talk with McCoy had done. The doctor meant well, but he didn’t have a clue as to what made Spock tick. Kirk doubted if he ever would. And, somehow, Kirk could see himself and McCoy having this very same argument, over and over again, as the years went by.
~~~~~
“How late am I?” Kirk asked as he settled into his chair. Spock had ordered his usual fare, but all that sat in front of Kirk was a still steaming cup of coffee.
“Not at all, Captain. I did, however, take the liberty of placing your order,” Spock said.
“Something good, I hope.”
Spock glanced behind him. Kirk turned to find his yeoman carrying a tray over. She placed it in front of him, and lifted the lid from his plate.
“That will be all, Yeoman,” Spock said. The woman nodded and walked away.
Kirk scanned his plate. Steak, a baked potato and a small salad. “Spock, you’re an angel.”
“Hardly. It merely occurred to me that, considering the events of the last two days, you would not have been eating properly.”
“You know me too well,” Kirk remarked, as he stabbed at a piece of tomato. “To be perfectly blunt, it’s a wonder I could go relieve myself without Ferris being two steps behind me.”
“He was merely doing his duty, Jim,” Spock said in a low voice.
Kirk gazed fondly at his companion. “Leave it to you to believe the best of the man. But you weren’t here. He’s a sanctimonious, pompous bureaucrat and a royal pain. You know he wanted me to leave you all behind.”
“I know. But what were our seven lives in comparison to the tens of thousands on New Paris?”
“I don’t know anyone on New Paris.” Kirk waved off Spock’s look of consternation. “I don’t mean it the way it sounds. It’s just that sometimes we can’t just use numbers to make a decision.”
Spock scrutinized him for a moment, as if aware of where this was coming from. He finally responded. “I am cognizant of that fact. If you recall, there have been times in the not so recent past when I have made decisions based on more than that.”
Kirk smiled. He was very aware of that fact, but it was nice to know that Spock had come to terms with it. Regardless of what McCoy thought, Spock had come a long way in a very short time. Was it only a few months ago that Spock had confessed to being ashamed of feeling friendship? So much had changed.
“I still think he’s an unmitigated ass.” Kirk cut a piece from his streak. “At least, he won’t be my problem once we get to Makus Three.”
“Which won’t be for another three days.”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? I had our speed pushed up a bit. We’re handing Commissioner Ferris over to whoever is in charge late tomorrow. He and the medical supplies will be off loaded and then we can be on our way.”
“Do you have our next assignment?”
“Not yet. As long as it’s not star mapping, I’ll be happy.”
“Star mapping can be quite exhilarating, Captain,” Spock responded in his most unctuous tone. “I find that I must often arbitrate among my staff as to who will be allowed to man the science station during the later shifts.”
“Speaking of your staff, are you ever going to let Lieutenant Carter have her station back?”
One brow lifted. “If the science station on the bridge can be said to belong to anyone, I believe that would be to me.”
“Okay, are you going to let her borrow it for awhile?”
“You will be pleased to know that I have already done so. Lieutenant Carter is on duty as we speak.”
“Great. Any plans for the rest of the night?”
“Much of the data on Murasaki 312 has been integrated. I was hoping to spend some time going over the report.”
Kirk frowned. “Not too much time, I hope.”
“No, Captain, I will be sure to be completed in time to attend our regular chess match.”
“That’s all I need to know,” Kirk said before returning to his meal.
An hour or so later, Kirk walked with Spock to the science labs. Leaving his friend to his work, Kirk took the turbolift to the crews’ quarters.
~~~~~
Kirk walked up to the door of Boma’s quarters and stopped. He hated this. He had really thought that the lieutenant had a future with this ship, with Starfleet. Now, he wasn’t sure if either were possible. Girding himself for what was to come, he pushed for entrance.
The door flew open. Boma had been lying on his bunk, but was already halfway to his feet. There was a fleeting look of surprise on his face, before he schooled his features and came to attention.
“At ease, Lieutenant.”
Boma relaxed somewhat, but didn’t totally let his guard down. “Is there something I can do for you, sir?”
Kirk stood in front of the man, his hands clenched behind his back. “Yes, there is. I’d like to hear your account of what transpired on Taurus II.”
“Sir? I already furnished my report. Didn’t you receive it?”
“Yes, I did, along with everyone else’s. But it’s a funny thing. Every time I read one of them, I got the distinct impression that something had been left out. Blank spots, as if the entire landing party had selective amnesia. Do you have any idea as to why that is?”
“No, sir, I sure don’t.”
Kirk’s eyes narrowed. “You positive about that, Lieutenant? You might want to think very hard before answering me.”
As if a light had gone on, Boma’s entire demeanor changed, and a scowl replaced the irreproachable look that had been there before. “I should have known that he’d go running to you about this.”
“I assume you’re speaking of Mr. Spock. I hate to disappoint you, but he never brought up the subject. It never would have crossed his mind to do so. It was one of your fellow crew member who brought it to my attention. Someone who realized that such dissension could only hurt the mission. Not to mention that Mr. Spock ended up saving all your lives.”
Several seconds of silence passed before Boma backed down with a shrug. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said some of the things I did to him, but you weren’t there, Captain. He acted like it didn’t matter if we lived or died. All he cared about was his precious logic.”
“And you thought that that gave you the right to openly defy your commanding officer? I don’t know where you got that idea, Mister, but that sort of thing won’t be allowed on my ship. I won’t put up with insubordination.”
Boma blanched. “Are you going to put me on report, sir?”
“Put you on report? I’ve got half a mind to bring you up on charges.”
“But, sir–“
Kirk held his hand out, stopping Boma’s words cold. “As much as I would like to do just that, I know that you wouldn’t be the only person affected. And I have no intentions of seeing my science officer’s good name dragged through the mud. So, I’m giving you another option. There’ll be no charges, no report, but I want to see a transfer request from you on my desk by tomorrow morning.”
“Is that really necessary, sir? It might not look very good on my record, as I’ve only been on the Enterprise for three months. And I really don’t want to leave. I’ve enjoyed being posted to the ship.”
“You should have thought about that before you decided that you knew better than your commanding officer, and that it was perfectly all right for you to say that in the most disrespectful manner possible.”
“It wasn’t just me, sir. None of the others liked the way he was acting, either. It wasn’t human.”
“I suppose that all depends on what you consider human, Lieutenant. And we’re not talking about any of the others, we’re talking about your disgraceful and totally unprofessional behavior. If you can’t see that, then you have no business on this ship.” Kirk turned to go. “I’ll be looking for that transfer.”
“Captain?”
Kirk stopped just feet from the door. “Yes, Lieutenant?”
“There isn’t anything I can say to change your mind? Maybe I did lose my head down there. We were under attack, and it looked like we might all die. But I probably wouldn’t have acted the way I did if I had been able to trust in Mr. Spock. It’s just as much his fault as mine. Maybe more.”
Kirk gave him a rueful look. “And it’s that sort of attitude that makes me even more sure of my decision. Service in Starfleet is inherently dangerous. This may have been the first time you were in a dangerous situation, but it would hardly be your last. If that’s not something you can deal with, then maybe you should seriously think about leaving Starfleet altogether.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, sir. I’ve worked too hard and for too many years to get here.”
“And, for that, I’m truly sorry, but I can’t have you on my ship.”
Boma reluctantly nodded, and then looked away. Kirk let himself out.
Kirk spent the next hour walking the ship. It was never a good thing, to kill someone’s dream, but sometimes it was a dream that should never have been born. He hoped Boma could find a life somewhere else, preferably planet-side. The stars weren’t for everyone.
~~~~~
It was pushing twenty-three hundred hours before Kirk finally got back to his cabin. He would pay for it in the morning. He entered the bathroom, undressed, and stepped into the shower. Water, not sonic. He needed the feel of having everything about this sorry mess washed away. He washed, and then stood for several more minutes, his hands propped against the wall, his head lowered, and let the steaming water cascade down his body. Finally, he stepped out and dried himself off. His bed was going to feel good.
He walked over to his desk, unable to not at least check for messages. There weren’t any. He lightly snorted, not sure if he was glad or disappointed. He decided to go with glad. The day had been eventful enough.
His bed was warm as he burrowed down under the covers. He turned onto his side, and closed his eyes. “Don’t ever hide something like this from me again, Spock.”
He felt his bedmate come up on his elbows. Kirk turned to face him.
“Jim?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
Spock sighed. “You speak of the matter on Taurus II.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
Spock sat up, pulling up his legs to settle his arms on his knees. “I had hoped you would not.”
“Why? You must know that that sort of behavior can’t go unpunished.”
“I was…disconcerted.”
“Disconcerted?” Kirk figured that was Spock-code for being ashamed. “You had no reason to feel that way.”
“Did I not? I completely misread the situation, and was taken completely unaware by the Taureans’ behavior, not to mention the resentment of the crew.”
Kirk sat up and settled close enough to Spock that their bodies touched. “I wish I could tell you that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to almost everyone, that it’s not that difficult to get things wrong, but I can’t. No one’s perfect, Spock, not even you.”
“Did it happen to you?”
Kirk shrugged. “Not exactly the same, but close enough.” And that was all he was going to say. Their relationship was still too new for him to burden Spock with that. “In any event, I’ve talked to everyone concerned. I’m satisfied that, except for Lieutenant Boma, they all acted professionally.
“What will you do to the lieutenant?”
“I’ve already done it. If he doesn’t want to be brought up on charges, he has to transfer off the ship.”
“There is no other alternative?”
Kirk shook his head. “Not one I could think of.” He slid down onto his back, and motioned Spock into his arms. “I will say this, you should have trusted me about this. Trusted me enough to know that there’s not much you could do that I wouldn’t back one hundred percent.” He playfully ruffled Spock’s bangs. “But I don’t want to talk about Lieutenant Boma anymore, do you?”
Spock gazed at him, and then slowly a smile appeared. “No, I do not.”
Kirk placed his hand on the back of Spock’s neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. Spock opened up to him, Kirk’s tongue delving into Spock unresisting mouth. They explored each other’s bodies, and then Kirk opened himself to Spock, the Vulcan’s cock seeming to split him in two as Spock buried himself within Kirk’s body. He cried out as he came, then lowered his head onto to the bed as Spock continued to pound into him. Seconds later, a stillness overcame his lover, and Kirk was filled with the heat of Spock’s come.
They cleaned up, and Spock fell asleep within seconds of his head hitting his pillow. Kirk wasn’t surprised. As trying a day as it had been for him, it had to have been that much worse for Spock.
Kirk lay there in the dark, Spock’s chest pressed against his back, his arm pulling Kirk close, and wondered at their future. Their relationship was at its start, brought to fruition by their shared fear on Miri’s planet. Not for themselves, but for each other. A precursor to the fear that Kirk had felt while looking for the Galileo.
What did their destinies hold? Would they survive? Would their relationship? What he felt for Spock was something new to him. He’d loved before, but this was something more, and it sometimes frightened him. He thought that it probably frightened Spock, too.
But Kirk was never one to give into fear. He had almost lost Spock today. Almost. And that was the crux of the matter. He had gotten him back. He couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t always. He couldn’t believe that this would not continue. He had to trust in the future.
He closed his eyes, and gave into the shelter of Spock’s arms.
Fandom: Star Trek (TOS)
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Word Count: 5,884
Summary: Something is off about the reports from the crew members who made that fateful trip in the Galileo under Spock's command... and Kirk is set on getting around the smokescreen he's coming up against.
Originally published in Devotion, a K/S fanzine celebrating the enduring relationship on the 50th anniversary of Star Trek, by CatalenaMara and Dovya Blacque in July, 2016.
Also posted on AO3 and
at the Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Automated Archive.
Kirk stared at the computer screen. At first glance, the report had appeared fine. But something kept nagging at him. Spock tended to be concise, yet still managing to dot each i, and cross each t. Not this time. While the report was thorough, it was almost as if he’d left out some details, which wasn’t like Spock at all. So now he was on his third read, and it wasn’t getting any better.
He pulled up McCoy’s report, and then Scotty’s. Scanning through them, he realized that theirs read the same way. He probably hadn’t picked up on it the first time around because he was more in tune with the way Spock wrote his reports, having read so many more of them.
More in tune with Spock.
Kirk pushed back on that thought and on the threatening headache. He hated mysteries, especially mysteries surrounding his First Officer. He pulled Spock’s report up again, resigning himself to reading it once more, when he was interrupted by someone at his door.
“Come,” he responded, though he was still focused on the report. When he finally looked up, it was to find Yeoman Mears standing before him. “Take a seat, Yeoman.” Kirk closed down the report to give the woman his undivided attention. “What can I do for you?”
Mears looked decidedly uncomfortable. Her eyes downcast, she fixated on her folded hands settled nervously on her lap. “It’s about the mission, sir,” she finally said in a quiet voice.
So his suspicions were correct. There had been more to the mission than what was in the reports. Kirk studied her bowed head. Unhappiness fairly radiated off of her. This was the total opposite from the laughing woman she had been on the bridge. “Yeoman?” Kirk waited until she looked up. “What about the mission?”
“We all almost died, but he saved us, after the way we treated him. I can’t stop thinking about that.”
“Are you talking about Mr. Spock?”
“Yes, sir.”
“What do you mean, how you treated him? How did you treat him?”
Mears gave him a troubled look. “We said some terrible things to him while we were stuck on the planet, terrible things about him. I know some of it was because we were afraid, but that’s just an excuse, isn’t it? It wasn’t his fault that we crashed, or that those awful things were on the planet. But we all acted as if it was. We should have trusted him.”
“All of you acted that way?” Kirk asked, troubled by the implications. He knew that McCoy had something of an issue with Spock, and sometimes went further with him than Kirk thought appropriate, but he never thought his chief engineer would follow suit, not to mention the other crewmen on board.
She thought for a moment, and then shook her head. “Mr. Scott didn’t join in, and poor Mr. Latimer and Mr. Gaetano were already dead by then, but the rest of us…we all should be put on report, at the very least.”
“What did you say to him?”
“We were trying to lift off, but the shuttle was being held down by those creatures. Mr. Spock was trying to come up with a solution, but we were all so scared. It was as if he wasn’t coming up with an answer fast enough for us. I…I told him we could use some inspiration.”
Was that all? Perhaps things weren’t as bad as the yeoman remembered them. “That’s not such a terrible thing to say.”
“But I didn’t have to say anything at all. He was doing the best he could, and all the rest of us could only think of ourselves. No matter what anyone else said, I shouldn’t have joined in.”
He thought that perhaps Mears was overreacting, but Kirk couldn’t let something like this go by. If there was any chance that members of the shuttle crew had been disrespectful to his First Officer, he wanted to know about it.
“I very much doubt that Mr. Spock was insulted by your words. You were, after all, in need of inspiration, and Mr. Spock managed to come up with some. But I’m glad you brought the matter to my attention.”
“Should I consider myself on report, sir?”
Mears looked almost hopeful. Kirk had to stifle a smile. Oh, to be that young and earnest again.
“No, Yeoman. I don’t think that will be necessary.” He stood, and came around the desk to stand next to her as she rose. “Your coming to me was the honorable thing to do. I wouldn’t want to do anything to discourage that kind of behavior.”
She gave a hesitant nod of her head. “Thank you, sir. I have to admit, I feel much better now.”
Kirk smiled. “As well you should.”
He escorted her to the door, contemplating her words as he watched her walk down the corridor. Finally, he returned to his desk, and pulled up the report that he now had even more questions about. He knew asking Spock about it would be worse than useless. No one could beat around the bush better than Spock. So that left McCoy and Scotty. Given what Mears had told him, he’d probably get more out of Scotty than the good doctor.
With a quick flick of his hand, he opened up the intercom to engineering. “Kirk to Mr. Scott.”
It only took seconds for his chief engineer to respond. “Mr. Scott here, Captain. What can I do for you?”
“It’s about the Galileo.”
Silence, a dead give away if there ever was one. “Scotty, are you still there?”
“Aye, Captain. Was there anything in particular you wanted to know?”
“I’ve got just a few questions. I’ll be there in five minutes. Kirk out.”
Kirk stood, and then glanced back down at his computer. The report filled the screen, its truth hidden behind Spock’s bland words. Very well. It might not give up its secrets, but he was damn sure going to get them from someone.
Kirk entered engineering. He asked after his chief engineer and was directed to the shuttle bay. Scotty was overseeing the inspection of the Columbus. As it was the only shuttle the Enterprise now had, they had better be able to rely on it. Kirk walked over and caught Scotty’s eye. “A word, Mr. Scott.”
Scotty frowned, then sent his people off to their assigned tasks. He led Kirk to the back of the shuttle, out of the others’ hearing. “You were wondering about the Galileo, sir?”
“I just had an interesting conversation with Yeoman Mears. I got the impression that several members of the shuttle crew had issues with Mr. Spock.”
He hesitated, as if not sure what was being asked of him. “Aye, there were words. You know how Mr. Spock can get under someone’s skin.”
“Did he get under yours?” Kirk asked.
Scotty shook his head. “I’ve worked with the man enough to know that his first concern is always for the ship, whether it be the Enterprise or the sadly lost Galileo. I’d put my trust in him any day. But he doesn’t always know how to convey what it is he’s trying to do. If you know what I mean, sir.”
Sadly, Kirk did. While he’d quickly learned that Spock’s cold, “logical” exterior hid a warm heart, not many others could see it. Or didn’t want to.
“What did they say, Scotty?”
“I’d prefer not to say, sir. What’s done is done. All that matters is that he saved us in the end.”
“It matters to me. You can either tell me what happened, or I can put you on report. It’s up to you. Then this all becomes official, and neither of us want that.”
Scotty grimaced. “Aye, that’s the truth of it.” He brightened. “You might be able to pull up the automatic recording file.”
“The what?” The words rang a bell, but Kirk couldn’t quite remember what they referred to.
“Every shuttle has an automatic recording device installed in them. In case something happened to the crew, there would be a record of what they said before they left the shuttle. Or if the shuttle crashed, the recording would help determine why.”
“But the Galileo was destroyed.”
“That’s the beauty of it, Captain. The recording would have automatically been transmitted to the ship.”
“We couldn’t pick up your transmissions, Scotty. Nothing could get through the quasar’s interference.”
“No, sir, not while we were still on the ground. But by the time we were in orbit, the
ion storm had dispersed enough for some signals to get through. I can’t guarantee that the report did, or even the level of its quality, but there’s always a chance.”
“So I just have to call it up on the computer?”
“If it’s there, that’s all you’ll have to do.”
Kirk looked fixedly at his Engineer. “I’m going to go to my cabin. And if the report is there, then you’re off the hook. But, Scotty, if it’s not…”
“Aye, sir, I’ll be expecting another visit.”
Kirk sent Scott back to his men, and the work that absolutely needed to be done. But that wouldn’t stop him from hauling Scotty away again if the file wasn’t there, because, one way or the other, he was going to get some answers.
Kirk clenched the control handle as the turbolift made its way to deck five. He’d thought the worst was behind them when they’d transported the Galileo’s crew back to the ship, even if it wasn’t the entire crew. Yet, here he was, trying to untangle a potential debacle. It could bring down moral, or cause a schism within the crew. And it could cause Spock a great deal of grief, especially if Kirk had to take this to another level.
The images that came to mind were painful. Spock being cross-examined, his ability as a commander called into question. Even worse, his very integrity cast in doubt. Just because some people couldn’t see the man within.
When was it when he had? He remembered their first hesitant steps toward each other. Toward each other, not just on his part. It was as if Spock had felt the same, hell, say it, attraction that Kirk had. Was that why he had been so open to seeing Spock’s better nature, because he had been attracted to the man?
No, he’d been in that position before. His head always trumped his heart…or regions further south, he whimsically thought. Spock’s nature had been all Kirk had imaged it would be. Not to mention the unwavering loyalty Spock had seemed to give him from the beginning.
As the lift reached deck five and began to slow, he came to a decision. “Bridge.” The lift gathered speed again, taking him on to his new destination.
Every crew member had their own way of dealing with a mission gone wrong, or with the loss of life. Spock’s was to shove his emotions even deeper, and lose himself in his work. While there were several places on the ship where he could do that work, Spock seemed to prefer the bridge. Whoever would have been manning the science station would have seen Spock pull rank and take over.
The turbolift slowed again. The doors parted and Kirk walked onto the bridge, casually making his way over to the science station. Just as he had suspected, there Spock sat, bent over his viewer and totally oblivious to anything going on around him. Not that there was much going on. After the frantic efforts of the last two days, it was probably a relief to just lay in a course and let the ship do the rest. They were on their way to Makus Three with plenty of time to spare.
Taking the step up onto the platform, Kirk balanced himself against the console and waited for Spock to realize that he was there.
It didn’t take long. Spock was a telepath, but he had to be touching the person. What the two of them had, had had from almost the beginning, was a visceral connection that had nothing to do with touch, or sight, or sound. Spock just knew he was there, just as he would have known that Spock was there.
“Can I do something for you, Captain?” Spock asked.
“No, just wanted to make sure that things were running smoothly.”
Spock’s one eyebrow lifted slightly. “You would, of course, be the first person notified if it were not.”
Kirk picked up Spock’s stylus and started weaving it back and forth through the fingers of one hand. “I don’t know, you’d be amazed at some of the things I’m not privy to. Like, where is Lieutenant Carter? Isn’t she supposed to be manning this station?”
“Lieutenant Carter is in the science lab. I thought her time could be better spent finishing off her work on the scans taken of Murasaki 312. While those from the Galileo were obviously lost, the Enterprise managed to get some interesting readings.”
“I see, I see. But couldn’t that work have just as easily been done from here?” Kirk innocently asked.
Spock swallowed before hesitantly responding. “Perhaps it could, Captain, but the bridge is not always conducive to work of such complexity.”
“Then what is it you’re doing?”
Before Spock could answer, Kirk put down the stylus and rested his hand on Spock’s shoulder. He felt a rush of affection, and a thrill of pride that the Vulcan trusted him enough to allow the touch. “That’s okay, Spock. You do whatever it is you need to do. I’ll see you at dinner?”
“Of course, Captain. Nineteen hundred hours in the main mess hall.”
Kirk let his hand stay where it was for several seconds before finally pulling it away. He stood. “Then I’ll let you get back to your work.”
He took his time leaving. He spoke to the helmsman for a few minutes, before making a circuit of the bridge. Stopping off at Communications, he dictated a message to the ship that would be meeting them at Makus Three and taking on their cargo of medical supplies for New Paris. He’d met its captain a few months earlier, and the man had struck him as somewhat excitable. He’d appreciate the heads up.
Finally, he entered the turbolift. He looked over to see Spock warily watching him. Spock knew that Kirk didn’t make a habit of checking up on him, which was exactly what he had just done. Kirk smiled as the doors closed. Let Spock stew. It would do him good. For himself, the fact that he could still check up on Spock, couldn’t help but lift his spirits.
His good mood lasted until he had returned to his cabin and pulled up the recording file. Scotty was right; the quality of the video was terrible. Kirk could tell that it had been taken from somewhere around the front console, but that was about it. For the rest, he had had to rely on individual mannerisms and body language. The audio, however, had been crystal clear.
Kirk switched off the recording. He leaned back into his chair, his hands folded behind his head, and closed his eyes. He replayed the events in his mind, using his imagination to fill in the badly distorted images. He’d known from Spock’s report that things had gone wrong awfully fast on Taurus II. That it would create the animosity toward Spock from McCoy and Boma greatly disturbed him. Lives had been at stake, and their reaction to their commanding officer was completely out of line.
Sure, Spock had been a bit obtuse when it came to the other crew persons’ reaction, but that didn’t excuse McCoy’s and Boma’s responses. Especially, Boma’s. Kirk was definitely going to have to do something about the lieutenant. There was no way the astrophysicist could continue to work in the science labs under Spock’s supervision.
And McCoy. He’d known that McCoy’s relationship with Spock could tend toward the adversarial, but he’d never seen it go this far. It made Kirk wonder how they responded to each other when he wasn’t around.
Well, there was only one thing to be done about it. Kirk opened his eyes and got to his feet. Since he was the lesser of the two offenders, he’d tackle McCoy first. He didn’t bother calling ahead. He knew exactly where the doctor would be. Besides, he didn’t want to give the man any forewarning.
It was a matter of a few minutes walk from Kirk’s cabin to sickbay, but it gave Kirk enough time to figure out how he was going to play this with McCoy. The doctor had overreacted, which was nothing new, but he hadn’t been outright hostile toward Spock the way Boma had been.
Kirk entered sickbay’s anteroom. He followed the murmur of voices coming from the back room, and found McCoy in the middle of some sort of powwow with his staff. He motioned to McCoy that he’d be in his office, and waited for the doctor to respond before heading in that direction.
Taking a seat, he passed the time by playing with some of the knickknacks that cluttered McCoy’s desk. The doctor was an inveterate collector and his office was the repository for the odd bones, rocks and whatnot that he’d found on their travels.
“Put that back,” McCoy ordered as he entered the room.
Kirk smiled and dutifully returned the item to its designated spot.
McCoy took his seat and leaned forward onto his desk, while giving Kirk a jaundiced look. “I already got the word from Scotty. You’re here to scold me about being mean to your pet Vulcan.”
So much for the element of surprise. “He told you?”
“Of course he told me. The man can’t keep a secret to save his life, especially during a meal. You can’t imagine all the gossip I’ve been privy to over lunches.”
Great, something else he’d have to deal with…later. “So you know why I’m here. Does that mean that you have an excuse for your behavior?”
“My behavior?” McCoy bellowed. “Did you hear the asinine things that man said to us? There we were, under threat of death, and all he can talk about is leaving one of us behind! And don’t get me started on his lousy call about the creatures on the planet.”
“We all make mistakes, McCoy, but I’m not here to explain or excuse his behavior. He was in charge, and it wasn’t your place to call his orders into question. You’re supposed to follow them, and keep your mouth shut.”
“Even if he’s wrong?”
“Who said he was wrong?” Kirk shot back. “He got you off the planet, didn’t he? Got you back to the ship? He did his job, McCoy, which is more than I can say for you. It’s not just the physical wellbeing of the crew that you’re responsible for. By undermining Spock’s orders, your actions had a detrimental effect on morale.”
“Don’t give me that,” McCoy responded with a dismissive wave. “Morale was down because we were all afraid that we were going to die.”
“If that were the case, this would have all blown over once you were back aboard the Enterprise. But Lieutenant Mears wasn’t upset with Spock. She was upset with herself. She, at least, realizes that she owes him her life.” Kirk gave McCoy a weary look. “Do you really dislike him that much, Bones?”
“I don’t know, Jim. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it dislike, but it’s not as if he makes it easy for people to like him. Other than you, and maybe Scotty, he doesn’t exactly have any friends. Why you’re so close to him is a mystery to me.”
“That’s because you haven’t been paying attention. You’ve been so busy trying to make him act human, you’ve forgotten that he’s also Vulcan.”
McCoy snorted. “That would be hard to do, since he’s constantly reminding us of it.”
“So start putting your trust in him. Listen to what he has to say, and try seeing things from his perspective. Or, at least, try not to expect him to react to things the same way that you would. I think you’ll find that he can be a good friend. If you let him.”
McCoy blew out a sigh, and nodded. “Okay, Jim, I’ll try to be nicer to Spock. But you need to have a discussion with him, too. He’s going to have to learn to interact better with us humans, because right now he’s lousy at it.”
Kirk stood up. “A commander doesn’t need to have his people like him. But they do have to respect him. Try to keep that in mind.”
He left sickbay, not sure how much good his talk with McCoy had done. The doctor meant well, but he didn’t have a clue as to what made Spock tick. Kirk doubted if he ever would. And, somehow, Kirk could see himself and McCoy having this very same argument, over and over again, as the years went by.
“How late am I?” Kirk asked as he settled into his chair. Spock had ordered his usual fare, but all that sat in front of Kirk was a still steaming cup of coffee.
“Not at all, Captain. I did, however, take the liberty of placing your order,” Spock said.
“Something good, I hope.”
Spock glanced behind him. Kirk turned to find his yeoman carrying a tray over. She placed it in front of him, and lifted the lid from his plate.
“That will be all, Yeoman,” Spock said. The woman nodded and walked away.
Kirk scanned his plate. Steak, a baked potato and a small salad. “Spock, you’re an angel.”
“Hardly. It merely occurred to me that, considering the events of the last two days, you would not have been eating properly.”
“You know me too well,” Kirk remarked, as he stabbed at a piece of tomato. “To be perfectly blunt, it’s a wonder I could go relieve myself without Ferris being two steps behind me.”
“He was merely doing his duty, Jim,” Spock said in a low voice.
Kirk gazed fondly at his companion. “Leave it to you to believe the best of the man. But you weren’t here. He’s a sanctimonious, pompous bureaucrat and a royal pain. You know he wanted me to leave you all behind.”
“I know. But what were our seven lives in comparison to the tens of thousands on New Paris?”
“I don’t know anyone on New Paris.” Kirk waved off Spock’s look of consternation. “I don’t mean it the way it sounds. It’s just that sometimes we can’t just use numbers to make a decision.”
Spock scrutinized him for a moment, as if aware of where this was coming from. He finally responded. “I am cognizant of that fact. If you recall, there have been times in the not so recent past when I have made decisions based on more than that.”
Kirk smiled. He was very aware of that fact, but it was nice to know that Spock had come to terms with it. Regardless of what McCoy thought, Spock had come a long way in a very short time. Was it only a few months ago that Spock had confessed to being ashamed of feeling friendship? So much had changed.
“I still think he’s an unmitigated ass.” Kirk cut a piece from his streak. “At least, he won’t be my problem once we get to Makus Three.”
“Which won’t be for another three days.”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? I had our speed pushed up a bit. We’re handing Commissioner Ferris over to whoever is in charge late tomorrow. He and the medical supplies will be off loaded and then we can be on our way.”
“Do you have our next assignment?”
“Not yet. As long as it’s not star mapping, I’ll be happy.”
“Star mapping can be quite exhilarating, Captain,” Spock responded in his most unctuous tone. “I find that I must often arbitrate among my staff as to who will be allowed to man the science station during the later shifts.”
“Speaking of your staff, are you ever going to let Lieutenant Carter have her station back?”
One brow lifted. “If the science station on the bridge can be said to belong to anyone, I believe that would be to me.”
“Okay, are you going to let her borrow it for awhile?”
“You will be pleased to know that I have already done so. Lieutenant Carter is on duty as we speak.”
“Great. Any plans for the rest of the night?”
“Much of the data on Murasaki 312 has been integrated. I was hoping to spend some time going over the report.”
Kirk frowned. “Not too much time, I hope.”
“No, Captain, I will be sure to be completed in time to attend our regular chess match.”
“That’s all I need to know,” Kirk said before returning to his meal.
An hour or so later, Kirk walked with Spock to the science labs. Leaving his friend to his work, Kirk took the turbolift to the crews’ quarters.
Kirk walked up to the door of Boma’s quarters and stopped. He hated this. He had really thought that the lieutenant had a future with this ship, with Starfleet. Now, he wasn’t sure if either were possible. Girding himself for what was to come, he pushed for entrance.
The door flew open. Boma had been lying on his bunk, but was already halfway to his feet. There was a fleeting look of surprise on his face, before he schooled his features and came to attention.
“At ease, Lieutenant.”
Boma relaxed somewhat, but didn’t totally let his guard down. “Is there something I can do for you, sir?”
Kirk stood in front of the man, his hands clenched behind his back. “Yes, there is. I’d like to hear your account of what transpired on Taurus II.”
“Sir? I already furnished my report. Didn’t you receive it?”
“Yes, I did, along with everyone else’s. But it’s a funny thing. Every time I read one of them, I got the distinct impression that something had been left out. Blank spots, as if the entire landing party had selective amnesia. Do you have any idea as to why that is?”
“No, sir, I sure don’t.”
Kirk’s eyes narrowed. “You positive about that, Lieutenant? You might want to think very hard before answering me.”
As if a light had gone on, Boma’s entire demeanor changed, and a scowl replaced the irreproachable look that had been there before. “I should have known that he’d go running to you about this.”
“I assume you’re speaking of Mr. Spock. I hate to disappoint you, but he never brought up the subject. It never would have crossed his mind to do so. It was one of your fellow crew member who brought it to my attention. Someone who realized that such dissension could only hurt the mission. Not to mention that Mr. Spock ended up saving all your lives.”
Several seconds of silence passed before Boma backed down with a shrug. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said some of the things I did to him, but you weren’t there, Captain. He acted like it didn’t matter if we lived or died. All he cared about was his precious logic.”
“And you thought that that gave you the right to openly defy your commanding officer? I don’t know where you got that idea, Mister, but that sort of thing won’t be allowed on my ship. I won’t put up with insubordination.”
Boma blanched. “Are you going to put me on report, sir?”
“Put you on report? I’ve got half a mind to bring you up on charges.”
“But, sir–“
Kirk held his hand out, stopping Boma’s words cold. “As much as I would like to do just that, I know that you wouldn’t be the only person affected. And I have no intentions of seeing my science officer’s good name dragged through the mud. So, I’m giving you another option. There’ll be no charges, no report, but I want to see a transfer request from you on my desk by tomorrow morning.”
“Is that really necessary, sir? It might not look very good on my record, as I’ve only been on the Enterprise for three months. And I really don’t want to leave. I’ve enjoyed being posted to the ship.”
“You should have thought about that before you decided that you knew better than your commanding officer, and that it was perfectly all right for you to say that in the most disrespectful manner possible.”
“It wasn’t just me, sir. None of the others liked the way he was acting, either. It wasn’t human.”
“I suppose that all depends on what you consider human, Lieutenant. And we’re not talking about any of the others, we’re talking about your disgraceful and totally unprofessional behavior. If you can’t see that, then you have no business on this ship.” Kirk turned to go. “I’ll be looking for that transfer.”
“Captain?”
Kirk stopped just feet from the door. “Yes, Lieutenant?”
“There isn’t anything I can say to change your mind? Maybe I did lose my head down there. We were under attack, and it looked like we might all die. But I probably wouldn’t have acted the way I did if I had been able to trust in Mr. Spock. It’s just as much his fault as mine. Maybe more.”
Kirk gave him a rueful look. “And it’s that sort of attitude that makes me even more sure of my decision. Service in Starfleet is inherently dangerous. This may have been the first time you were in a dangerous situation, but it would hardly be your last. If that’s not something you can deal with, then maybe you should seriously think about leaving Starfleet altogether.”
“I don’t know if I can do that, sir. I’ve worked too hard and for too many years to get here.”
“And, for that, I’m truly sorry, but I can’t have you on my ship.”
Boma reluctantly nodded, and then looked away. Kirk let himself out.
Kirk spent the next hour walking the ship. It was never a good thing, to kill someone’s dream, but sometimes it was a dream that should never have been born. He hoped Boma could find a life somewhere else, preferably planet-side. The stars weren’t for everyone.
It was pushing twenty-three hundred hours before Kirk finally got back to his cabin. He would pay for it in the morning. He entered the bathroom, undressed, and stepped into the shower. Water, not sonic. He needed the feel of having everything about this sorry mess washed away. He washed, and then stood for several more minutes, his hands propped against the wall, his head lowered, and let the steaming water cascade down his body. Finally, he stepped out and dried himself off. His bed was going to feel good.
He walked over to his desk, unable to not at least check for messages. There weren’t any. He lightly snorted, not sure if he was glad or disappointed. He decided to go with glad. The day had been eventful enough.
His bed was warm as he burrowed down under the covers. He turned onto his side, and closed his eyes. “Don’t ever hide something like this from me again, Spock.”
He felt his bedmate come up on his elbows. Kirk turned to face him.
“Jim?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
Spock sighed. “You speak of the matter on Taurus II.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
Spock sat up, pulling up his legs to settle his arms on his knees. “I had hoped you would not.”
“Why? You must know that that sort of behavior can’t go unpunished.”
“I was…disconcerted.”
“Disconcerted?” Kirk figured that was Spock-code for being ashamed. “You had no reason to feel that way.”
“Did I not? I completely misread the situation, and was taken completely unaware by the Taureans’ behavior, not to mention the resentment of the crew.”
Kirk sat up and settled close enough to Spock that their bodies touched. “I wish I could tell you that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to almost everyone, that it’s not that difficult to get things wrong, but I can’t. No one’s perfect, Spock, not even you.”
“Did it happen to you?”
Kirk shrugged. “Not exactly the same, but close enough.” And that was all he was going to say. Their relationship was still too new for him to burden Spock with that. “In any event, I’ve talked to everyone concerned. I’m satisfied that, except for Lieutenant Boma, they all acted professionally.
“What will you do to the lieutenant?”
“I’ve already done it. If he doesn’t want to be brought up on charges, he has to transfer off the ship.”
“There is no other alternative?”
Kirk shook his head. “Not one I could think of.” He slid down onto his back, and motioned Spock into his arms. “I will say this, you should have trusted me about this. Trusted me enough to know that there’s not much you could do that I wouldn’t back one hundred percent.” He playfully ruffled Spock’s bangs. “But I don’t want to talk about Lieutenant Boma anymore, do you?”
Spock gazed at him, and then slowly a smile appeared. “No, I do not.”
Kirk placed his hand on the back of Spock’s neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. Spock opened up to him, Kirk’s tongue delving into Spock unresisting mouth. They explored each other’s bodies, and then Kirk opened himself to Spock, the Vulcan’s cock seeming to split him in two as Spock buried himself within Kirk’s body. He cried out as he came, then lowered his head onto to the bed as Spock continued to pound into him. Seconds later, a stillness overcame his lover, and Kirk was filled with the heat of Spock’s come.
They cleaned up, and Spock fell asleep within seconds of his head hitting his pillow. Kirk wasn’t surprised. As trying a day as it had been for him, it had to have been that much worse for Spock.
Kirk lay there in the dark, Spock’s chest pressed against his back, his arm pulling Kirk close, and wondered at their future. Their relationship was at its start, brought to fruition by their shared fear on Miri’s planet. Not for themselves, but for each other. A precursor to the fear that Kirk had felt while looking for the Galileo.
What did their destinies hold? Would they survive? Would their relationship? What he felt for Spock was something new to him. He’d loved before, but this was something more, and it sometimes frightened him. He thought that it probably frightened Spock, too.
But Kirk was never one to give into fear. He had almost lost Spock today. Almost. And that was the crux of the matter. He had gotten him back. He couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t always. He couldn’t believe that this would not continue. He had to trust in the future.
He closed his eyes, and gave into the shelter of Spock’s arms.
